


We Were There: Emmeline's Story

by Zealprophet27



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 91
Words: 136,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15047738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zealprophet27/pseuds/Zealprophet27
Summary: I was one of five women chosen to serve our country, fighting side by side with the men, and only some of us had come home. Being surrounded by friends and enemies, having to choose who you can save, who you can love, and how to survive is something they couldn't have prepared us for. My name is Emmeline Banks, and I served in WWII in the Airborne. This is my story.





	1. The Meeting

It was a rainy September afternoon in the Colorado capital, when I was driven up to the fancy hotel that stood in the middle of the city. When the car was parked, I glanced briefly at my reflection in the window of the car. White hair, wrinkles, heavy dark bags under my eyes...boy, I've gotten old.

My driver opened my door, allowing the cold wet air to come rushing into the car. I shivered from the damp air. I pulled my shawl closer around my frail body as I took the extended hand from my driver as I exited the car. He held an umbrella over my head, as he closed the door behind me. He turned back to me, letting me hold onto his arm for balance as he escorted me into the lobby of this grand hotel.

When we entered, I looked around the inside of this magnificent place. It was pretty and clearly updated from the last time that I had seen it. To their credit, I was only a young girl when I first saw it, so...it could be my memory.

My driver had gone to the desk in the lobby to speak about where I was to go. I was there to meet with a nice young man, who had called and asked me to come in to talk about my experiences during the war.

I was led down the hallway to one of the many conference rooms inside the hotel. The smell of fresh coffee filled my nostrils and I began to warm by just the thought of drinking a nice cup. We turned into the conference room, and I took a seat facing the door.

My driver looked at me kindly before asking, "Shall I get you some coffee?"

I smiled kindly at him. "That would be lovely, thank you."

He smiled back and left to fulfill his offer. I sat there in the boring conference room alone. I wasn't sure what this individual would want from me but I was scared.

It has been a very long time since I had spoken about what I went through, who I had met, who I had seen get killed, and yet, here I am, about to break that silence. I didn't know how to begin and I wasn't prepared. I just hoped that my caller would understand.

The door opened and in walked a nice young man with two cups of steaming coffee. He must have run into my driver. I smiled as soon as he extended one of the cups to me. I took it from him with my wrinkled and shaky hands. He sat down across from me and stated, "It's a real honor to meet you, Mrs. Palmer."

I inhaled the rich aroma before suggesting, "Please, call me Emmeline."

The man smiled back. He exclaimed, "Emmeline. I must say that I am just...excited that you have agreed to meet with me today to share your story."

"I must ask, why the sudden interest?" I pondered.

He set his cup down and explained, "I've always had an interest. To be honest with you, I didn't think any of you had survived. The other veterans never mentioned you or the others. It took a lot of digging and searching to be able to discover that some of you did survive the war."

I smiled, cupping the warm mug in my hands. I replied, "No, I suspect that they wouldn't have. You see, they were protective of us. Even to this day, I suppose. Back in those days, it was considered inappropriate for young women, such as myself, to go to war. No one could fathom the idea...I think in today's society, it would be even more difficult to digest that this even happened."

The young man nodded, leaning back into his chair. He stated, "I am hoping to change all of that."

"By listening to the ramblings of an old woman?" I smiled at him.

He nodded, with a smirk. "Yes, ma'am."

When I stared into my coffee thinking of what to say and where to begin, he asked me kindly, "Is there anything that I can bring you? Anything to make you more comfortable?"

"No, thank you, dear." I set my cup down on the table before me.

He pushed play on his recorder that he withdrew from his pocket. He set it down on the table and stated, "Take as much time as you need. Start where you'd like, and let me know when you're ready for a break."

I swallowed, exhaling deeply. This was it. I thought for a moment before replying quietly, "I guess the best place to start is at the beginning..."

I took in a breath and started, "I was one of five nurses chosen to be part of this great moment in our history. It was said that if this were to work, there would be more nurses introduced into this field. We were selected based according to our age, our physical endurance, and our knowledge of medicine. The military placed us into five different areas of their divisions. Regiment, Home Base, Seaborne, Armored and Airborne. I was selected to be in the Airborne, more specifically, Easy Company."


	2. How It Started

I stepped out of the med station that I had training at with the other four nurses. Our nursing training had concluded for the day, and I was eager to get something to eat, since I was stuck in training past breakfast and lunch was soon to be over.

I started to head to the mess hall when I heard some commotion from across the yard. I looked over my left shoulder and saw Sobel yelling at the men while they stood there in full gear. I realized what was going on and I was in trouble. The men took off for their barracks when Sobel had turned to walk away from them. His beady eyes immediately landed on me.

"Hey Em!" a friendly voice behind me shouted.

My eyes tore away from the angry Sobel as he was still making his way across the yard to me. I looked over to see my good friend, Darla, walking toward me.

Darla was assigned to be the nurse to work at the Home Base, wherever that was going to be. She would be perfect for that position as she would be able to be the mother to the wounded, and keep track of the rest of us as she did already.

Darla was the first person that I had become friends with. She didn't mind that I was from a different background, or in her words, painfully shy and always trying to do the right thing. I didn't really believe that description of me, but she probably saw things about myself that I didn't. She and I had a deep bond that the other nurses didn't have. I was fortunate enough to have her to lean on, just like a mother would be.

She walked up to me and asked, "Are you coming to lunch?"

I stammered, "I-I...I think, I'm-" I couldn't get the words out in time.

"Nurse Banks!" the angry Sobel, clearly closer shouted at me.

Darla's eyes grew wide suddenly knowing what was about to happen. I turned away from her to look at Sobel. I responded, "Yes, sir?"

Sobel stopped and glared at me. He demanded, "Why were you not with the men this afternoon?"

I swallowed as I replied, "I was in the med station, sir."

"Why were you there?" Sobel asked, inching closer to me. He made me nervous, not to mention uncomfortable. I was always afraid of what he might do to me.

I spoke almost in a whisper, "For training, sir."

Sobel towered over me causing more tension. "That's no excuse, Nurse Banks. Change into your PT gear. We're running Currahee."

As he started to walk away, Darla spoke up, "Sir? We've been in training all day at the med station. She hasn't eaten since last night."

I tried to quiet her as I didn't want her to get into trouble on account of me, especially with Sobel.

Sobel turned on his heels, approaching her. He asked, "Is that so, Nurse Sanderson? Are you asking me to relieve her for the afternoon?"

Darla stood her ground and said firmly, "I am, sir."

Sobel laughed as he explained, "Well, I deny your request. If I let her off for the afternoon, how would that look to the other men?"

He looked back at me and questioned, "Why are you still here?"

I looked from him to Darla before I ran back to my barracks to change. I knew that he was going to make me suffer due to Darla's protectiveness and I needed to talk to her about that.

I knew that she was only trying to help as she always did, but I needed her to stop for my sake. I loved Darla and she took the role of the mother figure easily. It might have had something to due with the fact that she was the eldest of the five of us, but sometimes I think she forgets that we are in the military now. Things were different here.

I burst through the door of the barracks scaring the other girls in there. They gave me their startled shrieks as I darted passed them to start changing.

"What's the rush, Em?" my friend Charlotte asked as I tossed my boots to the floor.

Charlotte was assigned to Regiment. She was the prettiest, I thought, out of all of us. I think the men up at Regiment thought so too, as she was chosen to be behind the lines with them; safe and out of the way. I loved Charlotte as she was always the voice of reason, maybe not to the extent of Darla, but she thought like us and always told us when to stop and think. I don't know how I would have survived training without her, as she was like my conscious.

I threw the trunk lid open, digging through it, looking for my PT gear. I explained to the startled girls, "I've got to run Currahee."

"Now?" Charlotte protested, "It's supposed to storm!"

I tossed the found clothes onto my cot, and started to strip. I explained, "Yeah, well...I think that Sobel doesn't care."

I looked at her and joked, "I hope I get struck by lightning."

"That's not funny," a new voice spoke.

I turned to see who it was as I pulled my shirt over my head. It was Anne.

Anne was placed in the Seaborne. We thought it was silly that she was training with us here in Georgia, instead of being with the rest of the men in the Navy. She didn't mind being separated, and she tried to make the most of everyday. We think that she did that because she had the greatest risk of being killed when the time came. I felt bad for her and her position. She was a very serious person when it came to the safety of those around her but she knew when to relax and have a good time and we loved her for that.

I finished dressing into my PT gear and pulled my boots back on. My hands shook as I tried to tie my boots as quickly as possible. I didn't need Sobel on my back again for being late.

Just as I started to run out of the barracks, I bumped into Sarah, who shouted at me, "Hey! Watch it!"

Sarah was the youngest of all of us. She had lied about her age, as most of us had, and she was placed in the Armored Division. I think that Regiment knew that she was younger than she led others to believe and they placed her in the one unit they thought would be safest. We shook our heads at the idea of the Armored Division being safer than Regiment or Home Base but we couldn't argue. We were women and we were nurses. In the world of men, we were no one of importance or influence.

"Sorry! I can't talk!" I shouted back to her as I stumbled out the door. I ran as fast as I could to catch up with the rest of the guys. I looked up into the sky and saw that Charlotte was right. There was a storm, a big one, building. The whole sky was black as night and it looked like it was moving in fast.

"Emmeline? What are you doing here?" a soft spoken voice asked me.

I turned around and was standing in front of Lieutenant Winters. I saluted, which got a laugh from him. "Sir."

"Emmeline, you know that you don't have to do that. What are you doing here?" he asked me again.

I replied, "Lieutenant Sobel ordered me to join you."

Dick looked at me concerned. He questioned, "Have you eaten anything today?"

I shook my head, tucking a section of my light hair behind my ear as I replied truthfully, "No, sir."

Dick walked beside me. He stated, "You've been stuck at the med station, haven't you?"

I nodded as I answered, "Yes. Darla tried to bail me out but Sobel lashed out at her. I think he really hates me."

Dick shook his head as he explained, "I don't think anyone could hate you."

Thunder rumbled across the sky loudly.

Dick stated, "Looks like we might be saved from someone bigger than Sobel." He smiled at me.

I smiled back as I replied, "I hope so!"


	3. The Run & The Run-Ins

We were not so lucky. Sobel demanded that we run the massive hill anyways. The rain poured down upon us, so hard that it felt like we were being stabbed by pins. I was completely soaked to the bone, along with everyone else.

The trail was dangerous to begin with but with this sudden downpour, it became even more treacherous than we could bear. The massive amount of water had created rushing little streams on the trail. It brought debris from the trees onto the trail causing us to trip into the mud. Several men were already covered in mud from all of the falling they did, in addition to being soaked from the rain.

I pushed some of my wet hair from my face and slipped. I fell to the trail and struggled to get up, as it was so slippery that I couldn't get a good grip.

I felt several pair of hands helping me to my feet. I nodded my thanks to my helpers, Luz and Liebgott. They kept going once I was on my feet. I started to run again but I didn't get far.

I took a few steps forward. I saw what I thought was a massive puddle but it wasn't. I felt myself falling into a deep water-filled hole.

The hole had formed due to all of the rushing water and I sank into it. I was submerged up to my waist, feeling the water and mud sucking me down further. I shrieked. I struggled to claw my way out, fighting the suction, and I was embarrassed that this happened to me.

Some of the men stopped to help me out once more. This time, it was Randleman and Christensen. Once they pulled me out, they looked at me with such concern, it was heart warming.

"I'm okay!" I shouted over the storm, "I'm okay!"

They looked at each other then back at me, before they kept running.

I carefully ran behind some of the men, realizing that I needed to step where they stepped or I'd be causing all sorts of problems for them. I looked up the line and saw Winters heading down to me.

The concern was apparent on his face. He reached me and ran beside me the whole way up. We didn't speak and I don't think that we had to. He was there to make sure that I'd make it up to the top as ordered and I was glad to have his help.

The rain didn't let up and the lightning and thunder grew more and more. When we finally reached the last incline to the top, we had to help each other out by creating a chain.

When it was my turn to go, I reached my hand out and was pulled up to the top. I was caked in mud when I was able to touch the pedestal that sat at the top of the hill. Once everyone was able to get to the top and touch the stone, we had to make the treacherous trip back down.

As our luck would have it, the rain let up halfway down the hill. The men complained and I couldn't help but feel the same. When we walked off the trail back into the camp, we were greeted by Sobel.

He looked at each one of us but never spoke a word. We carefully walked passed him, hoping that he wasn't going to order us to repeat it but he never did. Instead, he just watched us. I grew anxious, feeling more uncomfortable by his following eyes.

The men started to disperse to their barracks to change and get cleaned up.

I turned to head to my barracks when a voice stopped me, "Emmeline!"

I turned and saw David Webster, who was also covered in mud, approach me. I liked Webster. He was a nice guy. Sometimes the others didn't treat him so well but he still treated them with the same respect, which I admired about him. Maybe it was because he treated me so kindly that I saw the kinder side of him.

"Hey Web," I spoke softly.

He smiled kindly at me as he always did. He asked, "I was wondering...are you coming to the party tonight?"

"Party?" I questioned. I didn't hear about any party.

He blinked, almost realizing that maybe he wasn't supposed to say anything to me. He continued, "Yeah...it's at the mess hall. They're serving drinks and food. I hear there's supposed to be some dancing too."

I didn't know why he was telling me this. I awkwardly started as I bit my lower lip, "Um..."

"I'm sorry that no one has told you yet. I hope you come. It'll be nice to see you there," he added with a warm smile.

I shrugged as I replied, "I'll think about it. Thank you for telling me."

He smiled awkwardly, realizing that he might have made a mistake and he turned to leave. I sighed once he was gone.

I turned to head to the barracks when I collided with someone behind me. I felt myself lose balance and strong hands grab my upper arms to steady me. I exclaimed, "I'm so sorry!"

"Miss Banks," a husky voice spoke to me. My heart stopped. I looked up to see who I had run into.

"Lieutenant Speirs...sir." I swallowed as my eyes grew wider.

He looked up and down at me. When he finished examining me, he held my wide eyed stare as he questioned, "Miss Banks, why are you covered in mud?"

My mouth fell open. I blinked and stammered, "I-I...fell."

"Fell?" he repeated.

"Yes sir," I managed to speak, "During the run up Currahee."

He released me. "I see. Well you better get cleaned up. We don't want you to catch a cold, do we?"

I shook my head, speaking in a whisper, "No sir."

He nodded as he looked over to his right then back to me. He ordered, "Get going then, Nurse. See you later this evening, I suspect."

I watched as he walked away from me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. Lieutenant Speirs was the one person who made everyone scared. He hardly showed any emotion and he hardly spoke to anyone, including the nurses. He just was.

As I watched him walk away, a giggle came behind me. I turned to see Darla approach me. I sighed as she started, "I don't know which is funnier, you or him."

"What are you talking about Darla?" I questioned.

"Look at you! You're a mess! Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?" she smiled.

I knew that she wasn't finished with her teasing but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't about to talk about it in the open. She would wait until we were alone and I knew that place would be in the shower as I scrubbed the mud off of me.


	4. Confessions & Lectures

I was right, of course. She sat in the corner holding my fresh clothes for me as I scrubbed the caked on mud from my skin. I could see the red marks on my skin forming as I scrubbed harder. I had to focus on cleaning myself up as I loved the feeling of the hot water on my sore body. That run took a toll on me.

Inwardly, I hated Sobel for forcing us to run that stupid hill in the storm but I knew that I couldn't say anything about it. So I scrubbed harder, taking my frustrations out on my skin.

Darla cleared her throat. She asked, "So...what was that all about?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, grabbing the soap again, trying to avoid her questioning and teasing.

She giggled. "You know what I'm talking about."

I set the bar of soap down trying to work it into a lather and failing miserably. I stated, "Really, Darla...I have no idea. Can't you just say it before someone else comes in?"

I didn't want any of the other girls hearing whatever it was that she had to say especially if it was what I suspected it to be about.

Darla looked at me with gleaming and mischievous eyes as she explained, "You and a certain Lieutenant...Does that ring a bell now?"

"And here I thought you were going to mention how filthy I was!" I joked, knowing full well it was about the incident with Lieutenant Speirs that she was wanting to talk about.

"How long are you going to play coy?" Darla mused.

I started to rinse the dirty soap off of my body, finally seeing my skin. I sighed before replying, "Darla, it's not appropriate. He's the CO of Dog Company. If anyone heard you talking about this, we could get in trouble."

She cut me off by waving her hand in the air nonchalantly. "Please. I've known for a while that you like him."

"I do not," I protested, but knowing that Darla was indeed like our mother. She knew who we liked and who we didn't. Hiding anything from her was impossible. It was like trying to tell a dog not to fetch after throwing a stick.

"Don't lie to me, Em," she spoke as she set down my clothes on her chair, standing to make her approach to me as she continued, "I have seen the secret glances that you've given in his direction. You're always trying to do the right thing, instead of what's best for you. There's a difference between the right thing, and the right thing for you. Think about it."

I finished in the shower and turned the water off. I started, "Look..."

I took the towel that was extended by Darla as I continued, "I have a commitment to my company. He's a good looking man, I admit...but that doesn't mean anything. I think there are a lot of good looking men in the company."

Darla laughed at me, as though she were happy to hear my confession. Darla nodded as she replied, "You're right there. If you were able-"

I knew where she was going with this. I cut her off by saying, "Darla, we're in the middle of a war. There isn't going to be any opportunity or chance to move forward with anyone. I am not like the rest of the girls. I don't want to start something and find out that they were killed on the front lines, or-"

It was Darla's turn to cut me off. She stated, "I'm not trying to tell you to start some summer romance or have a fling. I'm just saying that maybe you could try and be a little less... how shall I put this..."

I started to get dressed, with her help as I suggested, "Realistic?"

"Reserved. Shy. Withdrawn," she said as she giggled. She turned me to face her after zipping up my dress. She said, "I think that you are trying too hard to blend in. Relax while you can, my dear. You never know what will come to you if you are open to it."

I sighed as I replied, "Sure, that's easy for you to say. Men love you! They love the others too, come to think of it."

"Because we allow ourselves to be social and we have fun while we can. You're going to realize too late, that life is short. You may end up learning that lesson too late, I fear," she stated. Looking at me, she smiled as she added, "Now, let's do something with your hair. We have a party to attend to!"

Before I could protest, she grabbed my left hand and dragged me out of the showers towards our barracks.


	5. Realizations

I had finally found out that the party was for Colonel Sink. Apparently, it was his birthday, but after he came into the mess hall to thank everyone for this surprise celebration, he explained that he was being called away on important business, but to celebrate without him. Everyone was more than happy to oblige.

Darla and I finally walked into the crowded, and loud room. The music was blaring and everyone was drinking. I scanned the room, as Darla wrapped her arm in mine. I saw the girls scattered around the room.

Anne was talking to Grant in the corner of the room. She seemed really happy. She was laughing at his jokes and the way he was looking at her, I would have grown weak in the knees. If the war hadn't brought all of us together, and if they had met in other circumstances, I think they would have been very happy in life.

Charlotte was dancing with Luz, and he was cracking jokes, making her laugh. I always thought those two were great together. Even though Charlotte was our conscious voice, she was fun to be around, and we knew that Luz could see her fun and free side.

I spotted Sarah drinking with Gordon, Guarnere and Toye, trying to keep up. I worried about how this night would affect her in the morning, especially with her being so much younger than the rest of us, and I'm not even sure she had ever drank before tonight.

Darla whispered into my ear, "I'm going to get a drink. You should try and have fun!"

I nodded to her, as she headed to the bar. I suddenly felt like I didn't belong.

Awkwardly, I decided to walk across the room to get something to drink. On my way across the room, I was stopped by Webster, who was smiling wide. He exclaimed happily, "You came! This is great! Here, have a seat!"

He motioned to a chair that was empty, next to a bunch of men that I didn't know. I looked at Web as he smiled, pulling another chair up to sit next to me.

Some more men from Easy came to stand around us. I smiled, clearly uncomfortable, as this was never my scene. I didn't know how to react in these situations.

Webster finally asked, "Do you want a drink?" I nodded and he replied, "I'll be right back."

My eyes followed him as he walked away, leaving me alone with these men that I didn't know. I smiled at them, trying to relax, as Darla instructed me, but I couldn't. I think the men got the idea that I wasn't comfortable, because they got up and started to dance with the others.

Webster came back with my drink and set it down on the table. He must have seen my uneasiness and asked, "You okay? You seem a little shaken."

I nodded as I replied, "I'm just not used to this."

He understood. "It's tough, I know, especially when you're kind of the third wheel."

"Third wheel?" I asked in honest confusion. What could he possibly mean by that?

He took a gulp of his beer and stated, "I mean...don't misunderstand me, but you're nothing like the other nurses."

He turned to look at the others as they were all being flirty, fun and dancing the night away with the men. I looked down at my hands in my lap, knowing that he was right. He turned his gaze back at me, and quickly added, "That's not a bad thing!"

I met his gaze and asked, "How can that not be a bad thing? I mean, I'm nothing like them, Web."

He placed a warm hand on mine. "I know. That's what makes you, you."

Suddenly a feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. I asked, "What about the others?"

He looked at me confused as he asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean...do the others think the same thing about me? Do they not like me like the others because I'm so different? Because I'm not as fun?" I asked. I felt that perhaps my questions didn't make sense.

Webster replied, "You're like our sister, Em. We want to make sure that you're okay."

I scoffed, "Sister? So, is that why none of the men ask me to these things? Why none of them ask me to dance or get a drink?"

He nodded and said, "I guess, sure."

I started to stand up. I wanted to leave. I could feel the tears forming behind my eyes, and I didn't want the men to see me cry.

Webster stood up, grabbing my right wrist. He pleaded, "Wait. What's wrong?"

I tried to keep it together as I replied, "Why do you invite me to these things? Why are you always keeping me company? Do you feel that badly for me?"

"It's not a pity thing, Emmeline. I like you," he tried to say. He released my arm and let his fall to his side as he explained, "I just like you. You're different from the others. I'm trying to figure you out."

I nodded. "Excuse me."

I turned and quickly walked out of the mess hall.

I'm not sure why, but I was extremely upset about finding out that none of the men in the company and possibly the entire Division, saw me as anything else but a sister. It was heartbreaking to hear that they were never going to ask me to dance, or grab a drink, like they did the others. They were never going to speak to me, or look at me, the way that they do with the others.

I was so wrapped in my own mind that I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I walked. When I came to the edge of the camp, I stopped.

I started to sob, and could feel my body betray me, as it started to bend over, as the sobs racked my body. I didn't understand why this bothered me so much. I stopped crying when I heard someone behind me, "Nurse Banks?"

I quickly stood up, straightening my posture and fixing my clothes. I turned and saw a dark silhouette standing a few feet away. "Yes?" my voice quivered.

The person took a couple of steps toward me. "Are you all right?"

The voice had sounded familiar, but it was difficult to place. I wiped the tears from my face, just as the person came into the light, my breath hitched. It took me a moment to regain composure, again. "Yes, I am. Thank you, Lieutenant Speirs."

Speirs walked up to me, standing so close that I could smell his musky scent, and feel the warmth of his body next to mine. It formed goose bumps across my cold flesh. He looked down into my eyes with his. He asked, "Why are you crying?"

I swallowed, unsure of how to respond. I replied, "It's nothing, sir."

He questioned, "Did someone behave inappropriately this evening?"

I stepped back from him, allowing the cold air to engulf me once more as I replied, "I'm fine. Really. It's nothing."

He stepped toward me once more, as I stepped back again. He stated, "Nurse Banks, I don't tolerate lying. It would be best for you to step forward and tell me the truth."

Suddenly, I knew why everyone was scared of him. At this moment, I was a little afraid of him too. I licked my dry lips before replying, "I just found out that I'm a third wheel."

I decided to use Webster's words, hoping that he would understand and leave me alone to continue crying.

He looked at me with his dark eyes. "Third wheel, Miss Banks?"

I bit my lip and said, "Yes sir."

His gaze lowered to my lip, as I was still biting it. He ordered, "Explain."

"I'm not like the other nurses. I didn't think that I was so different, but the men pointed it out to me tonight. I wasn't even supposed to be at that party..." I stopped, and chewed on my lip some more. I was nervous, and it showed.

He blinked and asked, "Why did you go?"

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond. I replied, "I was invited..."

"You just said that you weren't supposed to be there," he pointed out.

I sighed, feeling trapped by my own words. I tried to explain, "Even if I wasn't invited, I would have been dragged there by Darla."

"Yes, Darla Sanderson. She does have a way of getting her way," he admitted as he finally released me from his gaze.

I felt that I could breathe again, now that he wasn't staring at me. I looked down at my feet, feeling quite awkward.

Finally, he spoke, breaking the silence, "Well, we better get you back inside, before you catch your death."

I blinked a few times, not sure what to say. I bit my lip, deciding that it was best not to say anything at all.

He escorted me to my barracks instead of the party, which I could hear was still going on. He took a step away, but stopped as he said, "You know," I turned around to look at him while he spoke, "You are different than the others."

I lowered my gaze to the ground as I whispered, "I know." My voice betrayed my sadness.

"You're a mystery to me, Miss Banks," he stated.

I looked up at him. "Sir?"

He nodded quickly, turning to go. He said, "Good night, Nurse Banks."

I stood there confused, as I watched him walk away from me. I didn't understand what he meant by that. How could I be a mystery to anyone?

I bit my lip as I thought, and turned to head into my barracks. Tonight would be a long night, as I tried to figure out what he meant.


	6. Light Duty Orders

The next morning, I woke up early. Thankfully, we didn't have any nurses training, but I knew that Sobel would have something up his sleeve. I stood up from my cot, stretching and finally reaching for my clothes. I changed, and put my hair up into a neat ponytail.

Once I was dressed, I turned and quietly carried my boots across the room, so that I wouldn't disturb the others. I opened the door and stepped out, closing the door behind me. I sat down on the steps and put my boots on.

I had just finished tying my laces when I saw a pair of boots stop in front of me. I glanced up and saw Sobel standing before me. I stood up quickly, saluting. "Sir."

He looked at me, almost sizing me up. It made me uncomfortable. He ordered, "I need you to report to the kitchen and assist Lieutenant Winters."

I furrowed my brow. "Sir?"

"We are giving the men a light day of lecture to help them recover from last night's celebration. I have requested that Lieutenant Winters prepare a nice meal. Since you have no nurses training today, I would ask that you assist in the preparation of this meal," he stated. It sounded pretty self explanatory.

I nodded to him that I understood. "Yes sir."

I started to walk away from him, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Before you go," he whispered into my ear, sending chills down my spine. He continued, "I would also ask that you bring me some to my office as soon as it's ready."

I looked at his hold on my upper arm, then up to his beady eyes. "Yes sir."

When he didn't remove his hand, I asked, "Was there something else, sir?"

He finally released me from his hold as he said, "No. Carry on."

I shuddered as I started to walk away from him, still feeling his eyes following me.

As I rounded the corner heading to the kitchen, I thought about Sobel. I didn't like him for many reasons, but he had never acted like that before. I was so involved in my thoughts that I didn't realize that I had passed by the kitchen.

I looked up when I heard a few whistles being thrown my way. I was suddenly standing in the middle of a PT session for Dog Company. The men had smiles on their faces and some were whistling at me still. I blushed and turned to run away, but turned smack into Speirs.

I gasped, shocked. "I'm sorry, sir. I was in my own thoughts."

He didn't touch me, nor smile at me. He barely looked at me, or even acknowledged that I had spoken to him. He stepped aside for me, motioning for me to continue on my way.

I was confused by the change in his personality. I blinked, furrowing my brow at him, but didn't speak. I quickly walked away and made it to the kitchen, where Winters was waiting for me.

"Are you okay? Where have you been?" he asked, noticing my flustered look.

I shook my head as I apologized, "I'm sorry. I was lost in my thoughts, and walked past the kitchen." I looked around, seeing that things were running smoothly. I asked, "What can I do?"

He shrugged as he replied, "I'm not sure. Sobel had requested that you help me today, but as you can see, we've got it under control."

I suddenly remembered what Sobel had ordered me to do. I said, "He asked me to bring him a plate."

Winters looked at me confused. He asked, "Why? Why would he ask you to bring him anything?"

I shook my head as I explained, "I don't know. He asked me to do it, so I guess I should take him a plate, now that it's ready."

I reached for a tray full of food, and started to head for the door.

Winters shouted after me, "Emmeline, be careful."

I wasn't sure why he was warning me. What was he warning me of? Sobel? The hungry men that I would have to pass in the camp to get to Sobel? Whatever the reason, I wasn't sure, but I was immediately on guard.


	7. Uneasy Encounters

I didn't have any problems getting to Sobel's office, which had me suddenly on edge. I swallowed as I took in a deep breath, preparing myself for something horrible to happen.

I walked into his office, and set the tray down onto his desk. Without waiting for him to show up, nor waiting for further instructions, I turned to leave. That's when he appeared. I jumped a little from his sudden appearance.

"Thank you, Miss Banks," he said as he looked at the tray of food that was sitting on his desk. He asked, "How is it?"

"I have yet to taste it, sir," I admitted, slowly inching my way around him.

"I see." He thought for a moment before adding, "What do you think of the meal selection today?"

Honestly, I didn't care but I replied, "I think it's a fine meal for such a day as this." I tried to leave again, but he stopped me.

"Nurse Banks, I have been meaning to ask you...How are you adjusting to this lifestyle?" he asked.

I didn't understand why he was asking me this. I had been here for as long as everyone else. I asked for clarification, "Sir?"

He approached me, filling the gap between us. The hair on my arms began to stand up on their own. He whispered, "How have you adjusted to this lifestyle?"

I grew weary of being in the same room as him. I replied, "It's been fine, sir."

He reached his hand out to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. He lingered for a moment as he asked, "Things haven't been too difficult for you, have they?"

"No, sir," I replied, growing more uncomfortable.

He caressed my neck as he stated, "Because, if you were under strain, I could help you."

I inhaled sharply, suddenly backing away from him, saying, "No, sir. Things have been just fine. Thank you for asking."

I turned to leave, but heard him say, "Nurse Banks."

I turned to face him. "Yes, sir?"

He smiled as he said, "Plans have changed. I'm ordering everyone to run Currahee. I want you to change into your PT gear, and get ready."

I looked at him, stunned. I asked, "Sir?"

"Is there a problem, Nurse Banks?" he asked, suddenly making me nervous once more.

"N-no sir," I replied as I turned and left.

I kept walking toward my barracks, realizing what the men would be going through today. Sobel had plans all along. I was afraid to know what could have happened, had I stayed in the office a moment longer, and I was afraid of what Sobel would want from me.

I could have been overreacting. I realized this, but there was just something that rubbed me the wrong way, whenever I was around that man.

I turned the corner and entered my barracks. Sitting in the room was Darla. She looked up at me, seeing the distressed look on my face. She asked, "What's wrong?"

I loved how she knew when something was wrong, without having to pry. I replied as I started to change into my PT gear, "I'm not sure."

She approached me, asking, "What happened, Em?"

I replied, "I just get this weird feeling each time I'm around Sobel."

"Weird how?" she asked as she watched me change.

I explained, "He makes me nervous. I'm not sure how else to describe it."

"Nervous like how you are when you're with Speirs?" She smiled.

I couldn't tell if she was trying to distract me from the real issue or not. I stated truthfully, "No. Not like that. It's as if I am afraid that something bad will happen with Sobel. I don't know. It's probably nothing."

Darla opened her mouth to speak but I had already walked out on her. I had to assemble at the base of the trail with the rest of the men, and be ready for Sobel's torture.


	8. Time To Let Her Fly

Torture was the right word. All of the men had eaten a big helping of that special meal that Sobel requested. Of course they would vomit it all up, which was all part of the plan Sobel had, who seemed to be taking pride in watching the men suffer.

I ran with the men, looking at them as they struggled with their full stomachs. I heard Sobel insulting and taunting the men, but instead of buckling to his childlike behavior, the men started to sing.

It brought a smile to my face as I listened to the strength in the words and voices as they were singing. The look on Sobel's face was priceless as he was just as shocked as I was when the singing had started. We were finally a company, one that would stand together, no matter what the opposition was, and we would succeed where others would fail.

The next morning, we had gathered early in the field to have one last lecture before jumping for our wings. I had heard parts of the lecture but I was so nervous that I didn't really concentrate on what was being said. Instead, I watched as other Airborne men were already jumping in the distance. I watched as the chutes would open and glide the men to the earth again.

Before I knew it, the lecture was over and we piled into the planes. As I sat in the plane, I could hear our jump master explain once more, over the noise of the airplane and open door, "Any refusals at the door, and you will be out of the Airborne!"

I blinked away the thought of fear. I couldn't be afraid, not now. I decided to think of something else. I suddenly had a memory from long ago pop into my mind.

I was thinking about the time when I was about seven years old and my mother had found a bird with a broken wing. She cradled it carefully and I watched as she used things around the house to make it a splint. We fed it daily, talked to it, and watched over it carefully, as it healed.

One day, I had woken up and my mother had the bird in her hands, while she stood outside with it. She removed the splint and released the bird from her hands, letting it fly into the cerulean sky. I had asked her why we had to let the bird go. Her reply was simple. "Because it was time to let her fly."

My mother's words echoed in my mind when I sat in that plane. Today was the day that I needed to fly. It was my time and I didn't want to disappoint my late mother. So when the order was given, I stood up with the rest of the men, hooked up, and checked the equipment on the man in front of me. Once that was over, it was the wait at the door for the green light to jump...to fly for the first time.

When the light went off, I jumped out of the door as trained, and I realized that my eyes were closed. When I opened them again, I could see the blue sky all around me. I smiled and laughed, as I realized that this was what freedom felt like. This is what that bird felt with each flight that it took.

When I landed on the ground, I had a small feeling of sadness as I realized that the feeling had gone, just like that fleeting memory of my mother with the bird. The bird with the broken wing must have felt this way when it couldn't fly. I shook the memory from my mind and focused on packing my chute up into the bag.

I stood up and began to make my hike back over to the assembly area for the next jump. We had to do this four more times and I hoped that with each jump, I would feel that moment again.

Suddenly I realized that this was more than just the feeling of freedom, but it was as if I were feeling the presence of my mother with me as I came down to the earth. It was as close to touching her again as I would ever get, and I didn't want to let that go, not just yet anyways.


	9. Evening Chats

Later that night after our jumps were finished, I headed back to my barracks. As I neared them, I heard a voice speak out behind me from the shadows, "How did your jumps go, Nurse Banks?"

I turned around, startled. I searched for the speaker, but only saw the faint outline of the man in the shadows. I replied, "They went well...um, sir?"

I added the 'sir' simply because I wasn't sure whom I was speaking with. I was afraid that if it turned out to be Sobel, I would be in trouble.

The man stepped out from the darkness, replying, "That's good to hear."

My eyes fell upon Speirs as he approached me. I swallowed, feeling myself growing uncomfortable in his gaze. I bit my lip and asked, "How did your jumps go?"

He smiled quickly before replying, "They went well, thank you."

Before I was able to say or do anything, another voice joined the fray. "Nurse Banks!"

"Yes, sir?" I asked, peering over Speirs's shoulder.

Sobel approached us. Speirs stood off to the side as Sobel shouted, "I have been searching for you every where!"

I tensed as I asked, "You have, sir?"

Sobel replied, "I need you to join me in my office."

"Now, sir?" I questioned. I didn't like this. It was late, and I knew that his office would be deserted and we would be alone. Something about this setup didn't sit well with me.

Sobel replied, "Yes, Nurse Banks. We have some unfinished...business to take care of."

I shuddered just thinking of what that business was.

Speirs must have seen my distress, as he interjected, "I'm sorry that I did not inform you earlier, Captain Sobel, but I have recruited Nurse Banks for a task already. Perhaps you can finish your business with her in the morning?"

Sobel glared at Speirs, as I looked up at him too. He was coming to my rescue, and I didn't want to risk ruining it.

Sobel asked, "You have? What task, may I ask?"

Speirs didn't hesitate. He replied, "I have requested her help with an important task, Captain. Why should there be any doubt in that order?"

Sobel back away a little. He nodded before stating, "Very well. Report to me in the morning, Nurse Banks."

"Yes, sir," I replied as I watched him slink away from us.

When Sobel was out of sight and mind, I sighed heavily. I found that I was allowing my nerves to relax.

Speirs turned to me and asked, "Care to explain, Nurse Banks?"

"Sir?" I questioned.

He peered down at me as he repeated, "Care to explain?"

I bit my lip and asked, "Explain what?"

He lowered his gaze to my lips and stated, "I've noticed that you do that often."

"Do what, sir?" I asked confused.

He stated, "Whenever you get nervous or uncomfortable, you bite your lip. If you did that in front of the wrong man, you might be setting yourself up for trouble."

I sighed and asked, "Is that what's going on?"

"Going on with whom?" he asked.

"With Sobel," I started before fading out.

I realized late that he said whom instead of what. He knew that something was going on with Sobel and I just admitted to it, without thinking.

He stepped in front of me, holding my gaze. He ordered, "I want to know what's going on, Nurse Banks. The truth. Now."

I swallowed, suddenly afraid of what might happen should I admit the truth. I started to back away from Speirs.

He grabbed my arms and held me still. He whispered, "The truth, Miss Banks."

My breathing quickened. I trembled as I started to explain, "I'm not sure, sir."

Speirs loosened his grip on me. He asked, "Why did he want to speak with you at this hour?"

I shook my head and replied honestly, "I don't know..."

He whispered, "I think you do."

I hadn't noticed that tears had started to fall down my cheeks. It wasn't until that moment, that Speirs had released his hold on me.

He studied my face for a moment before looking around us. When his gaze was back to me, he replied, "Go back to your barracks and get cleaned up. There is a celebration party for earning your wings soon. I expect you to be there."

With that said, he turned and walked into the night, leaving me standing there alone and confused.


	10. Different Love

That night, I walked into the mess hall where the celebration party for our wings was being held.

Inside every man who was part of the Airborne was in that room, at least every man who had earned his wings.

I made my way to the corner of the room, trying to blend in. After the run in with Sobel and Speirs, I didn't want to see either one. I wasn't even sure how long I was going to stick around.

I scanned the room, watching as the men were having a great time, drinking and playing darts. The rest of the girls had shown up as dates for some of the men.

I sat down in a chair as close to the door as I could get. It wasn't long before a couple of beers were set on the table before me. I glanced up to see Webster smiling at me.

"You came," he stated, still smiling warmly at me. He sat down across from me, moving one of the beers toward me.

I smiled back at him. After the day that I had, I was happy to see a friendly face. I pulled the beer close, but didn't pick it up.

He stated, "I wasn't sure if you were going to come or not!"

"Neither did I," I said truthfully.

He took a gulp from his beer and asked, "Why did you?"

I thought for a moment, then replied, "It felt like the right thing to do. I've made it this far with you guys...I should be here celebrating next to you as well."

He grinned at me. He stated, "Well, I'm glad you're here."

I smiled back at him. It was nice to have someone who wasn't trying to get something from me.

Music began to swell and Webster looked at me. He asked, "Care to dance?"

I looked at him. I thought about it for a moment. I could hear Darla's voice in my head, telling me to go for it, to have fun. So I said, "Sure."

Judging by the look on his face, he wasn't expecting me to agree to a dance. When he understood what I said, he smiled the biggest smile that I had ever seen and he stood up, offering his hand to me.

I took his hand and stood up. He led me to the dance floor.

The music was a moderate pace, and the rest of the girls were already dancing with their dates. Webster pulled me close to him as we started to dance to the music. I found that I was laughing and enjoying myself, more so than I had ever thought to be possible.

No one had asked me to dance before, and I was enjoying myself. I looked over Webster's shoulder to see Darla smiling at me. She looked pleased that I was enjoying myself as much as I was.

Webster and I danced several dances together. He eventually said into my ear, over the music, "You seem to be enjoying yourself. I don't think I've seen you smile this much before!"

I hadn't realized until he pointed it out that I had been smiling for most of the night. I looked up at him and replied, "I guess I have you to thank for that!"

Suddenly, the music slowed. Webster pulled me closer as we began to sway to the music. I was a little uncomfortable, as I wasn't sure what to do because this was all new to me. I looked over my shoulder to see Darla wink at me. I guess I was doing something right.

I asked curiously, "Where did you learn to dance like this?"

Webster looked down at me, smiling as he replied, "My parents made sure that I was a well rounded young man. Seemed to work especially well in college."

"I bet you had a lot of girls wanting to dance with you," I teased.

He smiled down at me. He admitted, "Probably, but there was only one that I ever wanted to dance with."

The song ended when I met his gaze. There was something in his eyes that sparkled. I didn't know what it was, so I said, "I think I need some fresh air."

"I'll join you," he offered.

We stepped outside, and the fresh air felt amazing on my flushed skin. I inhaled and looked up into the sky.

The music was still going on inside, and I could hear people still enjoying the party.

Webster started, "There are so many stars in this universe, but there is only one that always stays the same, never moving or faltering."

I looked at him and asked, "Which one?"

He pointed into the night sky, and I followed his finger to the one of the brightest stars in the sky. He said, "That's Polaris, the North star. It will always show you the way North."

I smiled as he lowered his arm. He admitted, "I think of you when I see that star."

"Why?" I asked.

He replied, "You're always the same. You're never changing."

I looked at him, wondering where he was going with this. That's when I noticed the sparkle in his eyes again.

Before I realized what was happening, I could feel Webster's lips on mine. His hands were on my hips, pulling me into his kiss. I placed my hands onto his chest, pushing him away, but he deepened the kiss, running his right hand up my back and into my hair.

I finally groaned and pushed him away from me, hard. We broke away from one another, and I demanded, "What was that?"

He looked at me, half ashamed and half shocked. He asked, "What? I thought..."

I sighed and stated, "Look, Web-"

He cut me off by saying, "No, it's okay. I get it. I'm sorry...I stepped over a line. I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship."

Before I could say anything, he walked back into the party, looking upset and I knew that he was heading into the party to drown away the rejection.

I sighed heavily, glancing back up into the sky. I didn't know what was wrong. I didn't understand why I would react that way, but I didn't feel that way about him. I loved him, of course, as I did all of the men in my company, but I didn't love him the way a woman loves a man...the way a heroine loves her hero.

I wanted to love someone in that way, and as much as I loved David Webster, I didn't and couldn't love him the way that he wanted me to, the way that he deserved to be loved, and I felt that I had let him down somehow, as I realized at that moment that he had loved me that way, the way that I craved to be for someone else.

I started to walk away from the mess hall, away from everyone, and away from that spot.

When I stopped walking, I found myself at the edge of the trail to Currahee. I laughed silently to myself at the irony of being in that spot. I closed my eyes, remembering the events of the night, when I heard a voice behind me, "Are you planning on running up that hill?"


	11. Friendly Lecture

I turned to see Darla standing behind me. I smiled at her and joked, "In these shoes? Are you out of your mind?"

She approached me and stated, "I saw David Webster at the party. He looked pretty upset, drinking beer after beer."

I didn't answer. I just looked down at my shoes awkwardly.

"Want to tell me what that was all about?" she asked.

I met her gaze and replied, "Not really."

"Tough," she responded. I scoffed at her.

She explained, "I know you too well, Em. What happened between you two?"

I sighed and snapped, "What do you want from me, Darla? Huh? What do you want me to say? We were having a good time, then he became someone else."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

I replied frustrated, "He suddenly became this romantic and kissed me. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that why you're out here hounding me?"

She was taken back by my attitude and tone. She asked, "So, why are you really angry? That he kissed you, or that you were kissed by someone that wasn't the one you really wanted to be kissed by?"

Now it was my turn to be taken back. I looked at her, anger suddenly gone. I sighed heavily, and approached her. She opened her arms for me, and embraced me, comfortingly.

I replied, "I just don't understand how this happened, Darla. I don't know why this happened, or how...but what I think I'm even more confused about, is how I reacted to it."

Darla pulled away from me and asked, "Can I be honest with you, Em?"

I looked into her azure eyes. I nodded.

She began to speak, "I think that you're scared of getting too close. You think that in order to be loved, you have to be in love. You don't give yourself enough credit. You have this belief in your mind that you're not good enough to be loved, and when someone finally shows you that they love you, you get scared and push them away."

I cut her off by saying, "He doesn't love me, Darla. He was drunk."

"David Webster has loved you from the moment that he met you. Everyone knows that, except you. Why do you think he's always trying to get your attention? Why else do you think that no one else has asked you to dance or grab a drink?" Darla asked.

"Because they think of me as their sister!" I shouted at her.

Darla shook her head. "That's what some of them think. Have you asked each and every man in the company? Have you asked each man in the Division? You're an attractive girl, Em. Do you realize how many men talk about you?"

I looked at her doubtfully. I scoffed, "Now you're making things up."

She shook her head and stated, "There are men in Dog Company who have wanted to talk to you, but you're so shy...painfully shy, when you're around them."

"I am not shy! If I was shy, why would the men in Easy talk to me? Why has Webster gotten to know me so well?" I rebutted.

Darla sighed heavily and replied, "You see the men in Easy every day. You train with them every day. You have sweated and bled with them, you've shared secrets and comforted them. Webster has forced you to talk to him, to get to know him for who he is, and the same is said about him for you. He has been there for you, more than the others because he loves you. You just can't see it."

I bit my lip and started to think about her words. She came up to me and hugged me again.

She whispered, "There are more people who love you, Emmeline. You just have to open your mind and heart to the possibilities. It may not be who you want to love, but let them love you. It might allow you to love in ways you've never known."

Darla pulled away from me and added, "Besides, you can't keep holding a candle for a certain Lieutenant who may not even have a heart."

I looked up at her, as she smiled at me. I knew that she was joking, but I felt sad by hearing those words. She must have seen it in my face.

"Emmeline. He has feelings for you. I've caught him looking at you when he thinks no one is looking. Have faith," Darla stated as she stood there looking at me, suddenly referring to Speirs.

I nodded and asked, "How did you become so smart?"

She smiled and replied, "It just happens to be something that you learn when you get to be older. Love is a funny thing."

"Yes it is..." I agreed.

She rubbed her hands along her arms and stated, "I'm going back to the party. Care to join me?"

I shook my head. "No. I think I'll stay out here a little longer. Have fun."

She nodded and started to head back to the party alone.

I shouted, "Darla!"

She stopped and turned to look at me.

I smiled at her. "Thanks."

She smiled in return and turned to go back, leaving me standing in the chilly night alone.


	12. The Rescue

After thinking over everything that Darla had said to me earlier, and having the time to just be after all of the excitement of the night, I decided to start heading back to my barracks.

I didn't get very far into the camp, when I was stopped by someone behind me.

"Hold it right there!" the voice shouted.

I stopped and turned around. I saw a Sergeant from Dog Company standing there. I looked at him, confused that he had stopped me. I asked, "Sir?"

He approached me slowly. By the way he was walking, I knew that he was drunk from the party, which was still going on. When he reached me, he stopped inches from me.

I swallowed, feeling nervous, and began to bite my lip. I looked up at him, and asked, "Are you all right, sir?"

He peered down at me. His eyes roamed my body, and I tensed. He looked into my eyes once he was finished looking at me. He asked, "Why are you not celebrating with the rest of the company?"

I looked at him. I knew that I would have to be careful with him. I replied, "I was just about to head back in, sir."

"I don't believe you," he stated, reaching for me.

I took a step back, just barely escaping his grip. I suggested, "I think you need to call it a night, Sergeant."

"Don't tell me what to do!" he barked at me.

I kept backing away from him, and he followed me in suit. I took a deep breath before suggesting, "Maybe you'd like to head back to the party with me?"

I suggested that, in hopes that if he agreed, I would be able to escape him, but instead, he said, "I think I've had enough of that party. I think you and I should have our own party."

My mouth fell open. I was scared, and I knew that there would be no one to save me, as everyone was in the mess hall celebrating.

I turned to try and run, but he grabbed me by the waist, pulling me into him. I shouted at him as I started to fight back, "Let go! Get off of me!"

He laughed in my ear, "You're a spirited one! I like you!"

Before he had a chance to do anything to me, or take me anywhere, I heard a dark husky voice shout from behind us, "Sergeant Jefferson! Stand at attention!"

Jefferson turned, still holding me. We were face to face with Speirs.

Speirs's eyes flared as he repeated, "I gave you an order, Sergeant!"

Reluctantly, Jefferson released me to stand at attention. I fought the urge to bolt. Instead, I moved a few inches away from the man toward Speirs.

Speirs ordered, "You have a patrol to go on, Sergeant. I suggest that you head to your barracks and prepare for it."

Jefferson sneered at Speirs, "I'm not fit for a patrol, sir."

Speirs took a step forward. He spat, "I wasn't giving you an option, Sergeant. Fall out. Now."

Jefferson glared at Speirs, before saying through gritted teeth, "I refuse to go on patrol, sir."

"Do I have to shoot you for insubordination, Sergeant?" Speirs threatened.

"You wouldn't!" Sergeant Jefferson challenged.

Speirs withdrew his handgun and asked, "Are you willing to find out?"

Jefferson looked at the handgun. He smirked, looking between the two of us, then headed toward his barracks, away from us.

Once he was out of sight, Speirs holstered his handgun. He looked over at me and asked, "Are you all right?"

I felt my knees give away and I started to fall to the cold ground. I never hit it.

Speirs was suddenly in front of me, holding me up. He steadied me as he suggested, "I think we should get you to your barracks, Nurse Banks."

I nodded, afraid to speak. He escorted me back to my barracks, allowing me to hold onto him for balance.

When we reached my barracks, he asked, "What were you doing out here by yourself?"

I looked into his dark eyes as I replied, "I went for a walk...I had to think about some things."

"So you went walking by yourself, in a place where there are a lot of lonely men who could easily take advantage of you?" he questioned.

I blinked at him. "Yes..."

"Why did you leave the party without someone to escort you back?" he asked.

I questioned him, "If I can't walk about freely on the base, how am I going to survive in the war? If I can't trust the men around me, why am I even allowed to be here, or a better question would be, why are those men allowed to be here?"

I was surprised by my sudden strength in my voice. This was not like me at all, and I think that he saw that too.

He smirked at me before asking, "Did you bite your lip when he attacked you?"

"You're changing the subject!" I shouted at him, growing frustrated.

He nodded as he said, "I'll take that as a yes. When will you learn?"

I balled my hands into fists and asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"

He held my gaze. "Are you angry with me, Nurse Banks?"

"I'm getting there," I replied truthfully.

He smiled. "Good."

I blinked, releasing my fists. I asked confused, "What?"

He glanced away from me and stated, "You need to learn to toughen up. Bad things are going to happen to you. People will attack you, try to take advantage of you, and you may not have a rescuer. You need to learn to fend for yourself."

He started to walk away from me when he stopped and said, "Have a good night, Nurse Banks."

Before he was out of hearing range, I replied, "Thank you, Lieutenant Speirs for saving me..."

He turned to nod his acknowledgement before heading into the darkness before me.


	13. Talent Discovered

As soon as I sat down on my cot, I began to think everything over. This was a crazy night, and I was afraid of the things that might come from all of this. Maybe Lieutenant Speirs was right. I needed to toughen up and learn to defend myself before it was too late.

I was so in thought that I jumped when I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

I turned around to see that Darla had come back early. She looked down at me concerned.

She walked around my cot and sat next to me. "Why was Lieutenant Speirs here?"

I bit my lip and shook my head before explaining, "He was just escorting me back."

"Why? Did something happen?" she questioned.

I sighed, taking off my shoes. I stood up and began to change out of the dress that I was in. I replied, "I don't want to talk about it, okay? Just...drop it."

Darla nodded sadly, knowing that I would eventually talk about it, but for the moment, she dropped the subject as I had asked.

After I was changed, and Darla had moved to her end of the barracks, I climbed into my cot and silently cried myself to sleep.

For the next week, we were given the freedom to relax, to do our own thing. No lectures, no training...no Sobel.

The girls and I spent the time together each day, without the men. We knew that we would not be together when we would be sent out to our own divisions, so we made a pact to spend the week with each other.

Sarah begged that we spend one day shopping, if we were able to get off base. Luckily for her, we were able to get away for a few hours. Unfortunately, Sarah blew all of her money in the first shop that she came to...a bakery.

Sarah was upset, as she had planned on getting a new dress but her sweet tooth won the battle instead. We spent about an hour listening to her mope, so Anne took matters into her own hands.

Anne stood on the corner of the busiest street of the town we escaped to, dropping her hat onto the ground and began to sing. As she stood there, singing her song, we were amazed by the sound of her voice.

I looked over at Darla and asked, "Did you know that she sang?"

"No...I had no idea!" she exclaimed.

As she sang, people walking by had stopped to listen, and started to give her money. I smiled wide, realizing what she was doing.

By the end of the song, the people who stayed to listen had erupted into cheers and applause, and she picked up her hat full of money, bowed, and we started to walk down the street together.

Anne stopped and sat down in a chair in front of a cafe. She began to count the money in her hat.

Charlotte asked, "Where did you learn to sing like that?"

Anne smiled wide as she replied, "I've always wanted to be a singer. I was taught at a young age, and never gave it up."

"How come you've never sang in front of us before?" Sarah questioned.

Anne glanced up at us. She asked, "Haven't you guys ever heard me in the shower?"

I smiled. "Is that what that was? We thought that was a radio in one of the men's barracks!"

Anne just smiled, blushing slightly as she resumed counting the money. When she was finished, she looked up at Sarah. She stood and handed her the money. She announced, "You have enough to buy that dress of yours."

Sarah looked at the money in her hand and asked, "How much is in here?"

"$150," Anne replied.

Sarah gaped, "That's too much! You have to take it back! This is your money!"

Anne pushed Sarah's extended hand back and stated, "I got that for you. Use it. Maybe Gordon will love your new dress."

"How did you know that I was getting it for Gordon?" Sarah questioned, slightly embarrassed.

Darla replied, "Honey, we all knew that you liked Gordon. It's been apparent for a while."

We laughed as we continued to walk down the boulevard.


	14. Lunch Disrupted

Sarah bought her dress for Gordon. It was a stunning red dress that accented her figure wonderfully. I felt a little envious of her, as she was doing something romantic for the person that she liked, someone that she had fallen in love with, but who knows what would happen in the days to come. The point that I took from this was what Darla had been telling me all along...to have fun while you can.

I didn't need a dress to do this, so I had offered to buy the girls lunch instead. They had agreed, mainly because they were hungry. We had been in that dress shop for a long time waiting for Sarah to pick the right dress, which took much longer than we thought it should have.

We walked into this quaint little cafe and sat at a table outside with our menus. When our waiter came and took our orders, we began to talk about the day and how amazing Anne's voice was and how Sarah looked in her new dress.

Suddenly, our waiter returned with our drinks and set an extra one in front of me. I looked up at him and stated, "I'm sorry, I didn't order this."

"The man at the bar did," the waiter explained.

We glanced back into the cafe and my eyes met those familiar ones of Sergeant Jefferson.

"Oh, he's cute!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Anne asked, "Hey, isn't he in Dog Company?"

I tensed and quickly looked away from him. Darla noticed my reaction and leaned in toward me. She whispered, "Hey, are you all right?"

I shook my head. I replied quietly, "I know that I didn't tell you why Lieutenant Speirs was outside our barracks that night but..."

Darla looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

Anne spoke softly, "He's coming over here."

My eyes grew wide as I looked up at her. Her smile disappeared when she saw the look on my face.

A familiar voice spoke, "Aren't you going to thank me for your drink?"

I slowly looked up to Sergeant Jefferson, who was standing next to our table. I spoke carefully, "Thank you."

He didn't leave. Instead, he pulled up a chair and joined us. He asked, "How's your day so far, ladies?"

Charlotte replied, "We're doing well, thank you. We're enjoying just having some girl time."

I loved how Charlotte tried to drop the hint to the man to leave us, leave me, alone. He smiled as he looked away from her back to me. "How are you doing?"

I looked down at the table and replied quietly, "I'm fine."

"What else is on your agenda today?" he questioned, still staring at me.

Darla answered, "We might go shopping. We might go to the salon. We haven't thought that far ahead."

He didn't look away from me. He leaned closer and whispered to me, so the others couldn't hear him, "I'm not finished with you."

I turned to look at him. The hidden meaning in his words showed in his eyes. I replied, "I suspected as much."

He smiled a charming smile as he stood up from the table. He looked at all of the girls, before stopping on me. He stated, "I hope you all enjoy this beautiful day. I'll see you all back on base."

When he left, our food had come. I looked up at the waiter and asked, "Can you take this away, please?"

He nodded, taking the glass of wine that Jefferson had offered. I looked around the table, meeting each pair of concerned eyes.

"What was that all about?" Charlotte asked.

I bit my lip and stated, "I had a run in with him the other night."

"What?" Anne gaped.

Darla looked at me and asked, "Are you all right?"

I looked down into my lap. I saw that I had clutched my napkin so tightly, I was about to rip it at it's seams. I released my hold on it and grabbed my water. I took a sip, trying to calm my nerves. I nodded as I swallowed the cool water. I didn't want to talk about it, not yet. I forced a smile and asked, "So, what are we doing after lunch?"


	15. The Escort

The rest of the afternoon, I tried to relax and have fun, but I kept glancing over my shoulder, and I made a point to stick close to the girls. I could hear Lieutenant Speirs's words in my head about needing to toughen up and stand up for myself, but I wasn't prepared to do so now.

We stepped out of the book store where Darla bought a ton of books, and I picked up a notebook for when I was on the line.

When we stepped out of the store, we bumped into a few of the guys from Easy Company. Sarah was disappointed that Gordon wasn't with them, but Charlotte immediately intertwined her arm into Luz's and Anne was flirting with Grant.

Webster looked at me, and I smiled awkwardly at him. I knew that I needed to talk to him about what had happened the other night, but now was not the appropriate time.

My eyes drifted across the street, to see Sergeant Jefferson watching us. I looked over at Darla, who had seen him as well. She looked at me, and smiled. I suddenly realized that she had a plan.

She asked, "We were just about ready to head to the ice cream parlor before heading back to the base...would you guys be gentlemen and escort us?"

The guys smiled happily as they led us onwards. I grabbed Darla's arm and started to walk close to her. Sarah was disappointed that she didn't have anyone to hold onto, so Webster offered his arm to her, brightening her day slightly.

I had to give Webster credit for being kind to her. I think he knew that it was the right thing to do, but I also wondered if he knew that something was going on, more than just the incident between me and him.

Darla whispered, "Want to explain to me what is going on with you and that guy?"

"Which guy?" I asked, unsure if she was referring to Web or Jefferson.

She glared at me, explaining, "The creep from the cafe."

I sighed. "Oh, him."

She waited and I replied, "The short version is he was drunk, Darla."

"And the real version?" Darla asked.

"The real version?" I repeated.

She looked at me and explained, "He clearly wasn't drunk today at the cafe, so what happened?"

I sighed and began, "After you left me that night, I started to head back to our barracks. He stopped me. He grabbed me and I tried to fight back."

"What happened next?" Darla asked, clearly afraid for me.

I explained, "Nothing. Lieutenant Speirs intervened. He saved me from that man."

"That's why he was outside our barracks then..." Darla said.

I nodded. "He escorted me back after that."

We reached the ice cream parlor. The men paid for the girls' ice cream, but I didn't want any. I feared that Jefferson would walk in, and I didn't want a fight to break out. I faced the door, and waited.

Webster sat down and asked, "Are you all right? You seem a little distracted."

I blinked back to reality and smiled at him. "I think so."

"What's going on, Em?" he asked.

I replied, "There's this guy from Dog Company who's being creepy, that's all."

"Is he here?" Web asked.

I shook my head. "No, not here. Not yet, anyways."

"He's in town though?" he questioned.

I nodded and said, "We saw him at the cafe we had lunch at. Darla had you guys escort us here, just to be on the safe side. You know how Darla is."

He nodded and explained, "Well, I'll make sure that you guys get to the base safely."

I smiled and replied, "Thank you, David."

Before I could say anything else, he smiled back and stood up from my table to entertain Sarah. I could feel the tears begin to form, but blinked them away.


	16. Questions Arise

We arrived back to the base without incident. The girls and I walked into our barracks and unpacked our bags from our shopping trip. I was exhausted as I never spent this much time shopping before.

Sarah asked, "What are we going to do tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? What about tonight?" Anne questioned her.

Charlotte smiled in agreement as she said, "That's right! You just bought that nice new dress...shouldn't you be trying it out?"

Sarah blushed as we shared a laugh. I shook my head as I sat down on my cot.

Darla suggested, "Why don't we see about getting some dates tonight? We could have a nice little date night!"

The girls got excited over the idea. Without warning or even dates, the girls started to get prepared for the evening.

Darla approached me and asked, "What about you? Are you going to join us?"

I looked up at her and questioned, "And do what?"

"Enjoy yourself for starters," Darla stated.

I chuckled and asked, "I don't know, Darla...Who would I go with?"

She smiled brightly as she replied, "Me."

I laughed as she reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.

That night, we went out to a local spot with some of the men from Easy. Darla remained with me as my 'date', and we had a lot of fun as a group. We danced and had a lot of fun. Darla and I sat out on one dance, having a drink when I looked up to see that Lieutenant Nixon and Lieutenant Winters had walked in.

I swallowed my water and whispered into Darla's ear, "You know what would make this night even better for you?"

She looked over at me, drinking from her glass of beer.

I motioned toward the door and said, "A dance with the guy you've been pining for."

She glanced over to the door and saw Nixon and Winters starting to walk further into the building. She swallowed her beer and looked back at me. She stated, "I came here with you! I'm going to stick with that promise!"

I rolled my eyes as I rebutted, "I think that your date for the evening will understand if you want to have a dance or two with him."

She smiled and asked, "How did you know that I had a thing for him?"

I laughed as I repeated her line to Sarah from earlier, "Honey, we all knew that you liked him!"

She didn't have to track Lieutenant Nixon down. Instead, he came to us and looked at both of us with a warm smile. He asked, "Miss Sanderson, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a dance?"

Darla smiled at him, then at me as she took his extended hand and went to the dance floor with him. She seemed really happy that he had asked her to dance.

I glanced over to my left to see Lieutenant Winters standing there, watching them dance. He looked over at me, and sat next to me. He asked, "Why aren't you dancing?"

I chuckled as I replied, "Well, Lieutenant Nixon stole my date!"

Winters let out a laugh as he took a drink from his water. He glanced over at me and asked, "What's going on between you and Webster?"

I looked over at him, meeting his friendly gaze. I explained, "Nothing."

"He doesn't look like it's nothing," Winters pointed out.

"We had a little misunderstanding. I need to talk to him but I haven't found the right time yet," I stated.

Winters nodded and said, "As long as you get it sorted out, that's all that matters."

"Understood, sir," I replied.

He cleared his throat and asked, "Good, now there is another matter that I need to ask about. Care to explain what's been going on with you and your superior?"

I furrowed my brow. I didn't know if he was referring to Sergeant Jefferson, Sobel or Speirs. I asked, "Sir?"

Winters clarified, "I've been hearing some talk amongst the officers about you and Sobel."

"Oh, that," I recalled.

He asked, "Are they true?"

"Depends on what you've heard," I replied. I wasn't sure what people were saying, and I was afraid of admitting anything.

Winters sighed and responded, "I know that you're always trying to do the right thing, Emmeline, but sometimes, the right thing isn't staying quiet to protect those around you. If something has happened between you and Sobel, you need to speak up."

I nodded, but still didn't know what to say. Sobel hadn't done anything to me yet, except for making me uncomfortable and making advances at me that could easily be blown off as something innocent.

The incidents between Jefferson and me was another matter entirely. That was something that was worth mentioning, but I wasn't sure I should bring it up. I didn't know how it would look having two situations similar to each other brought up, especially because I was involved in both cases.

I looked at Winters and said, "I understand, sir. Nothing is going on."

"If you decide that you want to talk about whatever it is that is going on, you know that you can trust me," he said reassuringly.

I smiled warmly at him and nodded. I knew that he was a good man and would help me if I needed it, but I still couldn't shake Speirs's comment about needing to take care of myself. I had to prove it to myself and to him that I could stand up for myself. I wanted that chance to prove it.


	17. Hangovers

Morning had arrived and some of the girls were hung over from their night of partying with the men. I laughed at how sensitive they were being.

I opened the curtains in our barracks to allow some light into the dark room.

"Ah! Close those curtains! Are you out of your mind?" Anne shouted at me as she hid her head under her pillow.

"Stop yelling!" Sarah shouted a muffled cry from under her blanket.

Charlotte groaned, "Would you all shut up?"

I looked over at Darla as I closed the curtains slightly. She smiled at me, motioning me toward the door.

We stepped outside and started to laugh. I asked, "How shall we spend the day?"

Darla motioned behind us as she stated, "Well, whatever it is, I think it's just you and me. Those three are going to be laid up all day with those hangovers."

I nodded. "True."

She started to walk and I followed her. I asked, "How did you enjoy the evening?"

She smiled and deflected the question with one of her own. "What were you and Lieutenant Winters discussing last night?"

"Don't do that! What happened last night?" I questioned.

She smiled and replied, "I guess I'll have to tell you later."

I rolled my eyes, realizing that she wouldn't give me anymore information than that. I answered her question, "Lieutenant Winters wanted to know if the rumors of Sobel and me were true."

"Are they?" she asked, looking at me.

"I don't even know what they are!" I pointed out.

She explained, "From what I've heard, you were propositioned by him."

"That's the rumor?" I asked, shocked.

She nodded, continuing walking through the base.

I explained, "Honestly, nothing happened, but I'm afraid that something could have, if it weren't for..."

She looked up at me and asked, "If it weren't for...for what?"

I swallowed as I replied, "Lieutenant Speirs."

"What does he have to do with anything?" she questioned.

I explained, "Well, the thing is...Sobel wanted to see me in his office one night, and Speirs told him that he had me doing some task, which Sobel took offense, but backed down. So, in all honesty, nothing happened."

Darla shuddered as she replied, "But it sounds like something could have."

I nodded and said, "I think Speirs knew that too. He asked me what was going on there, but I had no way of saying."

"You mean that you didn't want to say anything," she stated.

I looked at her. "What does that mean?"

Darla rolled her eyes before saying, "Face it, Em. You're trying to do the right thing, as always. You don't want to get anyone into trouble, and you don't want to be fingered as the one who tattles, even if it means putting yourself in harms way."

I shook my head as I replied, "I don't think so-"

She cut me off, "I do. Emmeline, when will you learn that you have to stand up for yourself even if that means turning people in."

I bit my lip before replying, "I've been in that position before, Darla. You know this."

She nodded. "It's not like the place you grew up in, Emmeline. You have to know that by now."

I sighed. "It's not easy."

"Life isn't meant to be easy," Darla stated as she started to walk away from me.

I watched for a moment. She had a point. I decided that the next time that I was in those situations, I would speak up and put an end to it. Darla turned around and looked at me. She asked, "Are you coming?"

I jogged to catch up to her as we headed into the mess hall.

That afternoon, Darla and I walked back to our barracks. We headed inside and saw the girls were still in bed, hiding from the light. Charlotte had poked her head out from under her pillow. She asked, "What have you guys been doing all morning?"

"More than you, apparently," I stated with a smile.

Darla replied, "Well, we went for a walk...talked for a while, and got some coffee. What have you done all morning?"

Charlotte started to sit up slowly, holding her head. She looked up at us and replied, "I think I was debating jumping in front of a Jeep, or shooting myself in the foot."

"That sounds like a fun afternoon," I joked.

Charlotte shot me a look, and my smile disappeared. She started to stand up and head to her footlocker.

Darla asked, "How are the rest of you? Still hiding in your cots?"

Anne muttered something and rolled over, while Sarah groaned loudly. I laughed loudly, ignoring the protests of the suffering three. It wasn't long before Darla joined me.

I stifled my laughter and apologized, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's not funny..."

Darla burst into laughter again, and I chuckled, trying not to laugh at them anymore.

Charlotte muttered, "Yeah, keep laughing. It's real funny."

Darla stopped and mentioned, "We were supposed to spend this week together before we were shipped out, and you guys are wasting the day away, hiding under the blankets!"

Sarah popped out from her blanket and stated, "Yeah, well...my head hurts!"

"It's called being hung over, Sarah...This is what happens when you drink a lot in one evening!" Darla explained.

Charlotte replied, "I think we all learned our lesson that we won't drink this much again..."

Anne muttered loudly, "At least in one evening!"

There was a knock on the door and the three girls shouted all sorts of protests at the door. I shook my head, holding in laughter as I stood up to see who was at our door.

When I got to it, I opened it to see Randleman standing before me. He peered past me into the barracks when he heard the loud protests.

I smiled as I stepped out asking, "What's going on?"

He replied, "Well, we had an incident."

"Who's hurt?" I asked.

He smiled as he stated, "Me."

"You?" I questioned. I started to look at him, trying to find the injury.

He pointed to his shoulder, explaining, "I think I tore something."

I looked at his shoulder, then up to his face. I shook my head and said, "All right, let's go to the med station and take a look."


	18. Help From Friends

When we walked into the med station, it was empty. I pointed to a table as I walked passed it. I said, "Hop up."

Randleman sat on the table and waited for my next order.

I started to gather a few things. I ordered, "Take your shirt off, please."

He followed my order and sat there waiting. I carried the items that I gathered and made my way over to him. I set them down on the tray next to the table he was sitting on. I looked up at his shoulder and saw the huge bruise that was visible.

I exclaimed, "What happened to you?"

Randleman replied quietly, "I got into a fight."

"A fight? With whom?" I questioned, starting to touch his bruised right shoulder.

He blinked but didn't say anything. I looked up at him, and noticed that he was trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"Bull?" I asked.

He glanced down at me and replied, "It was a legitimate fight."

I bit my lip and asked, "Did you win?"

He smiled wide as he said triumphantly, "Yes, ma'am!"

I shook my head, trying to hide my smile. When I touched his bruise, he cringed. I asked again, "Who did you end up fighting?"

He grew serious again. I held his gaze as he replied, "A man from another unit."

I furrowed my brows at him. I asked, "Why are you avoiding my questions? Who are you protecting?"

He looked down at me and whispered, "You."

My mouth fell open. "Me?"

He replied, "We know all about Sergeant Jefferson from Dog Company."

"What?" I asked shocked.

He nodded as he said, "Let's just say that he won't be bothering you anymore."

I bit my lip and whispered, "What happened? What will Lieutenant Winters or Lieutenant Speirs say when they find out about this?"

Randleman placed his large hands on my shoulders. He smiled warmly and questioned me, "Who do you think set it up?"

I glanced up at him. I blinked as he smiled, releasing me from his hold. I didn't understand. I asked, "How-"

He chuckled as he replied, "Let's just say that word gets around when our nurses are unhappy and we take matters into our own hands."

"What happened to him?" I asked quietly.

Bull replied, "He's going home. Too hurt to fight, the doctors say."

I chuckled a little and asked, "You did this for me?"

He nodded and replied, "We all drew straws. I won."

I laughed, and he joined in as I finished wrapping up his bruised shoulder. I finally understood what Darla was talking about, and I was grateful for the men in my unit for loving me.

The next few days had gone by so quickly, as the girls and I spent our time doing mundane things. We realized that our week off together had shortened significantly. We were ordered to help pack up the med station and help organize and inventory the supplies.

Once that was finished, we had to make sure that all of the medics, including ourselves, had the appropriate supplies in our packs. We also had the task of making sure that all of the med kits for every man in each division had the same materials, making sure that nothing was missing from any of the kits. It took the rest of our week together, but we made the most of it regardless.

We talked to each other, sharing more personal things with each other, but I still held back. There were just some things that I didn't feel was necessary for any of them to know about. Darla knew more than the others, but I still didn't share much about my past with her. I didn't want to bore anyone with the details of my childhood, when they all had something happy to share about theirs. I didn't want to ruin the mood of the last days together.

We had one more night together, but by the time we were finished with our tasks at the med station, we were too tired to go out. We ended up just returning to our barracks and falling asleep.

The next morning, we were ordered to start packing our things. We were going to be getting on a train, heading out to a location that we knew nothing about. We were not told anything, and we had to be ready to go within the hour.

I didn't have a lot of things to pack, so I helped the girls pack their things, so that we would make it on time.

Sarah stated, "I've never been anywhere outside the country! I can't wait! What if we get stationed in Paris?"

We watched as Sarah swooned over the thought of being in Paris. I shook my head, slightly amused by her naivety.

Anne replied, "Something tells me that we aren't going to Paris! I don't think that anyone would be focused on their jobs if we were there!"

Charlotte chimed in, "I think it's very mysterious! Going to a place we know nothing about, to meet others...it's exciting, I agree, but I don't think it matters where we go, just as long as we are together."

Darla cleared her throat as she added, "I hate to break it to you girls, but once we get to wherever we're to be stationed, we're going to be separated. Until we get there, this is the last time we're all going to be together. We need to hold onto these moments."

I nodded in agreement. She had a point that we had not thought of. We were in different parts of the military tree. It didn't occur to me until she said it, that we'd be separated. We've been together since the beginning, and I was overwhelmed by the thought of never seeing the girls after this trip. I knew that it was going to happen sooner or later, but it didn't seem real until Darla pointed it out.

Darla approached me and whispered, "It's going to be okay. We've got another month or so, I'm guessing. We just have to make the most of each day."

I replied as I tucked a piece of my light hair behind my ear, "I know...I just didn't realize that it was so soon. I keep forgetting that we're not in the same division."

She nodded and walked away to continue gathering her things so that I could shove them into her bags.


	19. Train Ride Talks

We piled into the train, and we found a spot to sit together.

The train pulled away from the station once everyone was on board. Pretty soon, we were traveling through the countryside heading to another city, where we would be given new orders to follow.

We talked through most of the trip, sleeping some of the time, but we held up to our promise of making the most of the time we had left together.

We shared things with each other that brought us closer together, like secrets and stories of home. I found that I was joining in on some of the conversations, but I realized that I didn't have a lot to add to some of the topics.

Everyone had family who would be writing to them, people who would miss them if something were to happen to them. I didn't. I was alone, except for Darla and the rest of the girls, plus the men from my company.

I stood up and started to walk down the aisle of our car. I had to stretch my legs, and this talk of family was making me realize why I was so different from the others.

When I reached the back of the car, I spotted Webster sitting in one of the booths. I bit my lip, and approached him. I stopped at the edge of his seat. He looked up to meet my gaze.

"May I sit?" I asked.

He nodded as he removed his things from the seat adjacent from him and placed it on the floor.

I sat down and asked, "How are you?"

He shrugged as he said, "I've been better."

I licked my dry lips as I stated, "I've been wanting to talk to you."

"It's okay, Emmeline. Really," he started.

I shook my head as I replied, "No, it's not. I have to tell you something. I need you to understand what happened that night."

He looked at me, waiting for what I had to say.

I started, "The thing is...I-it's been brought to my attention that..."

I sighed, trying to think of the right words. He smiled to comfort me as I tried again. "I've never been very good at knowing when someone has feelings for me, unless it's bad. The truth of the matter is that I've lived a pretty neglected life."

I could tell that he wasn't expecting me to say these things.

I explained, "I grew up in a home for girls. I was there since I was about ten years old. My father was killed in World War I and my mother couldn't handle it."

Webster watched me as I continued talking, "I would never wish anyone to live in conditions that I had to in that wayward home. I've never thought that I was good enough for anyone, and I struggle with that each and every day. I want you to know that I do love you, but not in the way that you want me to. I'm not even sure if I know how."

He asked me, "Why are you telling me this?"

I replied honestly, "Because I needed you to know the truth about me. I've never shared this with anyone. Also, the girls are back there are talking about family and things like that, and I can't talk about mine...I don't have that. I love that you're my best friend, David, and I hope that wherever we end up...we will still have that."

He smiled warmly at me and replied, "I'd rather be your best friend then never having you in my life at all. Who knows, maybe one day, we'll be together in the end."

I chuckled at his optimism. "We'll have to see, but promise me you won't hold a candle for me."

"I could teach you how to love," he whispered.

I nodded and said, "I bet that you could...but right now, I don't think it's the right time. I'm still broken...Anyways...I just wanted you to know what happened that night."

Web nodded and watched as I stood up. I said, "I guess I will see you around."

I walked away from him and headed back to the girls.

When we arrived at the train station, we were told that we would be heading to the ship yard. We were piled into buses and driven there.

We marched into the ships that would carry us to our final stop. Once we were on the ship, the girls and I were looking out across the New York harbor.

Anne stated, "I've always wanted to go to New York, marry some rich hot shot, and become a famous singer."

I smiled at the thought. "I bet you would have been great too!"

Sarah added, "I've never been here before...of course, now that I'm here, I can't wait to leave it."

Darla hugged Sarah. "We're going to be okay. Each one of us. We just have to make sure that we keep in touch."

"That will have to be your responsibility, Darla," Charlotte pointed out.

We knew that all of the mail would be sent to the home base, and the only way that any of us would know what was going on with each other was if we wrote to Darla, and Darla wrote to us.

Darla nodded, whispering, "I promise to keep you all updated on each other. We're a family now, and we're going to have to keep strong for each other, so we can all come home after it's over."

Suddenly, we were standing there, side by side, hugging each other, and watching the sun set as the ship began to pull away from the harbor.

Just as we started to pass by the Statue of Liberty, Sarah added, "I always thought she was bigger."

We chuckled as we watched Liberty grow smaller into the distance.


	20. Then There Were Two

That night, I stood on the deck of the ship looking out into the ocean. I glanced up and saw the star that Webster pointed out to me. I smiled, feeling a little comfort from it.

"What are you doing up here?" a voice whispered softly behind me.

I glanced over my right shoulder to see Darla standing there. She approached me and stood next to me.

"I needed to think," I replied.

Darla exhaled, saying, "If someone catches you up here, you could get into trouble."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered, staring out into the ocean before us.

"What's going on in that mind of yours?" she asked.

I asked her, "What do you think will become of all of us, Darla?"

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

I looked at her and stated, "You know that we're not all going to make it back alive. I have doubts about me living through this."

"You can't talk like that-" she started.

I explained, "I know, I know...but...let's face the facts for a moment. Out of all of us, who has the highest chances of getting killed?"

Darla admitted, "You and Anne."

"Exactly," I agreed.

"So, what are you saying?" she asked.

I inhaled sharply before saying, "What do you think will happen to Sarah or Charlotte when they find out that one of us, or even both of us, got killed? Do you think they would be able to handle that? Do you honestly think that they would be able to cope with this information alone?"

"We're nurses, Em. We're surrounded by death," Darla pointed out.

I argued, "Yeah, death of those around us...not of each other. They are young still, Darla. They've never experienced death before..."

"Like you?" she asked.

I looked at her surprised. I sighed and nodded.

Darla replied, "They aren't as naive as you think, Em. I think they are scared, we all are, of what could happen to each other. You can't focus on the things that haven't happened yet. All we can do is live each moment as they come. If you spend all of your time in the future, you're going to miss out on the things happening in the now."

She placed her hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before heading back into the ship toward our shared room.

I turned back to the ocean, realizing that she was right, as always. I needed to try and stay in the now, as difficult as it was going to be.

Several days later, we arrived in England. This would be our home base, and our last training outpost before we would head to war. We were not sure of the exact day of when that was to happen, but we knew that it would be soon enough.

No sooner had we gotten settled into our barracks, did we learn that Anne, Sarah and Charlotte would be leaving to go to their designated divisions. We only had a few days together, and they would be spent in training at the med station, not to mention to training with our men.

We hardly saw each other but when we did, we tried to savor the time together, even though it was short lived.

Anne was transported to the coast to begin training with the men in her unit. Charlotte was needed up at Regiment to treat some of the officers there, and Sarah was called away to train with the Armored Division. The time we thought we had together was taken away from us.

Darla and I were the only ones who stayed in Upottery. Darla had given the girls a notebook and some pencils to write to her, to keep in touch. She had given me one as well.

"I already have a notebook, Darla," I explained, as she handed it to me.

She smiled and said, "I know, but I want you to have this one as well. It will be like a little piece of home away from home."

I took it and placed it into my coat where it would be safe.

Later that morning, Darla sat next to me outside, looking across the fields of Upottery. She admitted, "England is not what I expected it to be."

I looked up at her. "What's different?"

"The smell. The air...the food," she laughed as she named off the things.

I chuckled. Suddenly I remembered something that she had mentioned before we left America. I asked, "So, you and Lieutenant Nixon?"

She blushed as she pushed her brown hair out of her face. "Yeah."

"When did that happen?" I questioned.

She smiled as she confirmed, "It's been going on for quite a while, but you've been too blind to notice."

"Isn't he married, Darla?" I asked.

The blush on her skin grew darker. She exclaimed, "I know! I'm horrible!"

"Darla!" I protested.

She stated, "I wasn't expecting this to happen! It just did!"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this!" I declared.

"You know what I've always said...You can't choose who you love, and you have to be open to the possibilities!" she replied.

I rebutted, "Yeah, but he's a married man! How would you feel if you were his wife and you found out this was going on?"

"I think if I was his wife, I'd be a very happy woman!" she joked.

I glared at her. "I don't believe this..."

"Okay, fine...I understand what you're saying, but...I can't help but love him, Em. He's a great man. One of the best that I've ever met," Darla confessed.

I shook my head in disbelief. I asked, "How long has this been going on?"

She smiled as she whispered, "About six months?"

"Six months?!" I exclaimed.

She nodded and said, "I can't believe you didn't notice. I thought for sure you'd pick up on it."

"I've been a little preoccupied," I admitted.

"So I've noticed..." Darla agreed.

I asked, "I just thought it was harmless flirting and dancing...What other secrets have you been holding out on me?"

She laughed. "None, I swear!"

I poked her playfully as I said, "You better not be hiding any more from me."


	21. Restless Night

Later that afternoon, the Airborne division had assembled into a hanger to discuss the pending jump into occupied territory. Lieutenant Meehan had taken control of Easy Company, as there were some issues involving Sobel.

I had heard rumors of Lieutenant Winters getting a court martial, but nothing ever came from it. The next thing I had heard, Sobel was being sent to Chilton Foliat to be the next training commander for new recruits.

When I heard this news, I was ecstatic! I couldn't have asked for anything better than to be rid of that horrible man. I no longer felt the need to walk on eggshells or fear that I would get into trouble over something trivial. I knew that the men of my company were just as happy to see him gone. I began to wonder if they had something to do with Sobel's dismissal, like they were with Jefferson.

I didn't know much about Lieutenant Meehan, but I had heard enough from the men to know that he was a good man and a good leader who wouldn't let us down. It was enough for me, and I hoped that he would stay true to his word by leading us through the war to the best of his abilities.

Meehan had addressed all of us in the hanger, telling us what our objective was going to be. He suggested that we study the sand tables and photos as well as the maps so that we would know the lay of the land once we were on the ground.

After we were dismissed, I approached the sand tables to look them over. An hour or so had passed by from looking over the information, that my eyes began to glaze over and I couldn't stare at any of the materials any longer.

That night, I tossed and turned in my cot. I couldn't sleep. There was too much going on inside my head. I knew that we would be jumping into Normandy tomorrow evening, and I feared what might happen.

It all seemed so surreal to me. We had been training for this moment for the past two years, and now we would be putting it into action in less than 24 hours.

I rolled over in my cot, when I heard a sigh coming from across the room. I heard Darla groan, "Em...if you can't sleep, would you just walk it off, or do something? I can't sleep with you tossing about like that."

"Sorry!" I whispered to her as I stood up and got dressed. Once I pulled my boots on and tied them. I grabbed my jacket and pulled it on. I opened the door to our barracks and stepped out into the chilly night.

I walked around for a little bit until I was standing by a fence alone. I peered up into the night sky, but couldn't see any of the stars. It was so foggy that I couldn't see above the tree canopy of the woods across the field.

The air was dank and I chuckled as I realized that Darla was right. There was a certain smell about this country that you just couldn't get away from no matter the weather. To me, the wetter the weather, the worse the smell.

"It's a little late to be walking about, don't you agree, Nurse Banks?" a voice spoke behind me.

I turned and watched as Lieutenant Winters approached me. I nodded and replied truthfully, "I couldn't sleep. I was bothering Darla, so I decided to try and walk it off."

He nodded as he stood next to me. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm a little anxious...scared, even," I admitted.

He looked at me and asked, "Why do you think that is?"

I shrugged as I admitted, "I don't know. To be honest with you, I think that I'm more worried about what's going to happen to everyone else."

Winters met my gaze and stated, "I have the same fears."

"You do?" I asked surprised.

He nodded and explained, "I've always been the fond of the men in our unit, you know this. No matter who has been in charge of the company, I have always taken it upon myself to be a good leader and a role model for these men. I have put them before my own needs."

"And you've done an amazing job, sir," I pointed out.

He smiled and added, "So have you."

"Sir?" I asked, clearly not sure what he was saying.

"You have done the same thing. You put others before your own needs. You've always made sure that everyone was taken care of. When they are hurting or tired, no matter how hurt or tired you are, you've been there to help them through it. I think that I speak for everyone when I say that we're all very lucky to have you in our unit," he stated.

I smiled and said, "Well, I think they would say the same thing about you. In fact, I think that by the actions of the men, it shows how much they appreciate and respect you."

He nodded, smiling warmly at me. "You're a great girl, Emmeline."

I looked up at him, surprised. "Thank you...sir."

"You're going to be all right out there. I promise you that. You have a lot of men in the division who are going to make sure of that," he promised.

I asked, "How can you be so sure?"

He replied, "Because we all love you."

With those words said, Dick Winters turned and walked away from me.

His words echoed in my mind. I chuckled as I realized that everyone in my life here, has said something to that effect. Darla had been saying it for a long time, as had Webster. Randleman admitted that when I was patching him up from his fight with Jefferson, and now Winters had said it. I smiled as I realized that they were right. I would be all right out there behind enemy lines, because I had people who loved me.

I suddenly remembered one of the last memories of my mother. We were at the post office placing a stamp on the envelope addressed to my father who was on the front lines of the war.

I asked her, "Why is it so important that we mail letters to Papa? Why can't we just tell him we love him when he gets home?"

My mother smiled down at me and replied, "Because it's our love that helps him fight. It's with our love that assures us that he will return to us."

"What happens if he doesn't get our letters?" I asked.

My mother's smile faltered slightly before replying, "Then he's got no reason to live."


	22. Postponed

The next day, Darla had to wake me up. I didn't sleep at all the night before because I was so stressed about the jump. I groaned as she smiled down at me. I felt as though the moment that I finally was able to sleep, she was waking me up.

"Long night?" she chuckled.

I inhaled deeply, biting my tongue so that I didn't wind up saying something to her that I would regret. Instead, I sat up in my cot and stretched. I rubbed my face as I swung my legs over the side of my bed.

Darla walked away from me, still chuckling at me, before returning to me with a cup of hot coffee. "Drink up. You've got a busy night ahead of you."

I took the cup and started to drink it. Feeling the effects almost immediately, I began to stand and dress for my day.

By the time I was dressed, I grabbed all of my things and headed out to the assembly area to begin checking all of my equipment for the jump.

The men had already assembled and had all of their things spread out on the ground as they checked off their belongings.

I dropped my bag to the ground and knelt down next to it to do the same.

Perconte approached me. "Hey, Em. Want some face paint?"

I glanced up at him and shook my head. "Not right now, Frank."

"You look terrible," he pointed out.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Thanks?"

He shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that. Just- I mean, did you sleep at all?"

I sighed before replying, "No, not really."

Perconte was about to say something, but instead walked away, leaving me alone.

I opened my bag and began to pull things out, setting them neatly on the ground to take inventory. It didn't take me long, as I usually kept everything neat and organized in my bag.

Once everything was spread out on the ground before me, I started to look them over. It looked like everything was accounted for, so I started to put them back into the bag.

A tap on my shoulder came from behind me. I stopped what I was doing and turned to see who was standing there.

Luz smiled down at me. He was holding an empty bag in his free hand.

I furrowed my brow, asking, "What's that?"

He looked at the bag and explained, "This...is your musette bag."

I took it from him, giving it a good look. I wasn't sure what this was even for, so I looked back up at him. "What's this for?"

"To put your stuff in," Luz replied.

I noticed a cord with a cuff at the end of the bag. I grabbed it with my left hand and asked, "How does this work?"

Luz laughed. "I'm trying to find someone who knows. I'll get back to you, if I ever find someone!"

I glanced at him as he walked away from me. I sighed as I looked back down at the new bag. I had no idea what this was for, how it worked, or why I even needed it.

With all of my equipment, plus medical supplies, adding this bag to the mix meant that I wouldn't be able to walk, let alone stand on my own.

I began to transfer things from my bag to this new one, and looked around at the other men to see if someone had figured out how to use it. So far, no one knew.

As I finished putting my things into this new bag, and folding my old one into the mix, I heard a voice shout loudly across the assembly area, "Easy Company! Listen up!"

Everyone turned to see who was ordering us to gather around. It was Lieutenant Meehan. He was standing on top of a Jeep, trying to wave all of us near him.

"The channel coast is socked in with rain and fog. No jump tonight! The invasion has been postponed! We're on a 24 hour stand down," he explained.

Groans washed over the men like a wave. My heart skipped a beat. I was happy to not be jumping tonight, but I knew that it was only a delay to the inevitable.

I walked back to my spot and grabbed my things. The new bag weighed twice as much as my old one, and with everything inside of it, I had a hard time getting it off the ground.

"Can I give you a hand there?" a voice asked from behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Webster smiling at me, clearly amused by my struggle.

I set the bag back down and smiled. He approached me and picked up the bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

We started to walk back to the barracks, when Webster asked, "How are you doing?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. I didn't sleep last night."

"Nerves?" he asked.

I sighed. "I guess. I think I'll be calling it an early night for sure."

He laughed as we started to approach my barracks. We stopped by the door, and he handed me my bag. I took it from him, but due to the weight of it, it crashed to the floor before I could stop it.

Webster laughed at me, picking it up and setting it inside the door of my barracks. He said, "I'm not sure how you're going to manage that bag when you get it attached to you."

I chuckled as I asked, "Attached to me?"

He cocked his head to the side and replied, "Yeah...that cuff goes around your ankle."

"You're joking!" I hoped.

All traces of humor had left his face. He shook his head as he asked, "Did anyone tell you how to use the bag?"

I shook my head. "It seemed that no one knew."

Webster nodded. "I'll help you tomorrow."

"Thanks," I muttered embarrassed. I started to bite my lip.

He looked over his shoulder as he started to leave. He stopped briefly to say, "I hear there's a movie showing in the mess hall. You should come. Get your mind off of the jump."

I shrugged as I replied, "Maybe. Thanks again, David."

He smiled once more before turning and leaving me there.


	23. Heading to War

I had decided not to go see the movie that was playing. Instead, I walked around the base one last time.

It was still chilly for an evening in June. I shook my head as I thought about how cold England seemed.

I started to approached the corner of one of the buildings when I heard loud banging coming from behind it.

I carefully walked around the corner to see that Guarnere was punching and kicking some of the empty supply crates. I waited a moment to see if he would notice my presence.

When he didn't, I slowly inched my way towards him. "Hey Bill?"

He spun around to look at me. "How long have you been there?"

I replied, "Not long...are you okay?"

He ran his right hand through his dark hair, sighing heavily. "No. I'm not, and I want to be left alone, all right?"

I looked at him concerned. "Bill...what's going on?"

He hung his head before asking, "Is it so hard for you to leave me be?"

I bit my lip before whispering, "I'm sorry...I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I already told you that I'm not! Why are you still here?" he shouted at me.

I blinked at him. I could see his face falter a little, so I whispered, "I'm just worried about you, Bill..."

He sighed heavily and approached me. I tensed, which he saw, so he stopped. He stated, "Look...I just got some bad news about my brother...he-"

I waited patiently for Bill to continue, but I already made the connection. I nodded and said, "I'm sorry, Bill."

He met my gaze and nodded. I could tell that he was glad that he didn't have to say it. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, well...I better get back inside."

I nodded and watched as he walked passed me. I kept my eyes on him as he disappeared around the corner of the building.

I looked up into the sky, closing my eyes, and saying a silent prayer.

The next evening, I felt fully rested and just as I was finished dressing for the jump, I looked at Darla.

She was already crying and I held back my own tears. She came up to me and wrapped her arms around me for the last time.

I hugged her back, closing my eyes. I held onto this moment as long as I could, because I didn't know what would happen once I left.

We didn't need to speak, nor did we need to ask why there were tears. We knew already. There was so much that we didn't know, things that we couldn't know about what would happen in the minutes, hours and days to come.

Would we survive this war? Would we come out of it unscathed? Would we be the same then as we were now? All of these untapped emotions engulfed our very being, and brought fear to our hearts.

We had tried for so long not to allow these emotions, these feelings, bring us down but we loved each other and we feared for the fate of one another, and those that had already left us.

Suddenly, there was a knock on our door. I turned to see who had opened the door, and there stood Webster.

He saw the two of us standing there, holding each other, and Darla uncontrollably crying. He walked up to us and wrapped his arms around the two of us, joining in the hug.

Finally, he pulled away and stated, "We've got to go now, Em."

I nodded and looked back at Darla, who was wiping the tears from her face. I forced a smile and said, "It'll be okay, Darla. I promise."

"Yeah...yeah..." she whispered back. I think that she knew that I was trying to ease her nerves.

I looked at Webster. He smiled at me, and picked up my heavy musette bag. He slung it over his shoulder and started for the door, with me close behind.

"Emmeline!" Darla shouted at me.

Webster and I stopped at the door and turned to look back at her. She approached us again, and hugged me one last time. She whispered into my ear, "I love you. Come back to me safe."

I kissed her cheek and whispered back, "I will. I promise. I love you too."

We pulled away again, and Darla looked at Webster. "Keep her safe, Web."

He nodded and replied in complete seriousness, "I intend to."

I glanced up at him, and he gave me a shy smile as he walked out of the barracks. I looked at Darla once more, and forced myself to leave her standing there alone and crying.

I sighed, and finally turned my back to her. I had to keep telling myself not to turn around to look at her, or else I would start crying, and never leave.

As we approached the assembly area, Webster reassured me, "We're going to be fine, Emmeline. I promise."

I nodded, unsure of what to say, if I should say anything at all. I bit my lip as we approached our plane. He set my bag down on the ground and started to strap it to my left ankle. As he was strapping the bag to my ankle, my eyes scanned the assembly area. My eyes caught Speirs staring across the runway at me. When our eyes locked, he quickly looked away. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind.

When Webster was finished, he stood up and looked into my darting eyes. He asked with a hint of concern, "Are you ready?"

I replied shakily, "As long as you are with me."

He smiled, and placed his gentle hands on my shoulders. "I'll be there for you. Don't worry."

I asked in a barely a whisper, "What about after we jump?"

He never hesitated in replying. "I'll find you."

He said it in such way that I couldn't help but believe him. I nodded as he turned around to listen to the final words of Lieutenant Winters.

Winters looked at all of us as he addressed us, "Listen up! Good luck. God bless you. I'll see you in the assembly area."

He gave all of us one last look before shaking the hand of each one of us. When he reached me, he shook my hand, then with his free hand, he placed it comfortingly on my shoulder. He smiled, then started to head down the rest of the line to the others.

I bit my lip, thinking over everything that I had endured to even be standing in front of the plane. I watched as the men in front of me started to pile into the planes.

Webster was in front of me, and as soon as he was in the plane, he turned to help me up.

I struggled to walk, as I was trying to carry this heavy musette bag, but I had help from those around me. When I finally stumbled into the plane, I dragged my bag to my seat, which was next to Webster.

He looked at me, smiling to calm me down. I patted his right knee and before I could withdraw my hand, he grabbed it and held it.

I didn't bother to pull away. It was comforting to have someone care enough to hold my hand, when we weren't really supposed to.

I heard the plane start up and could feel the vibrations throughout the plane from the engine. My breathing picked up as I could feel my nerves getting the better of me.

Webster squeezed my hand as if he knew that I was starting to grow anxious. I closed my eyes and started to calm myself down.

We wouldn't be in the drop zone for several hours, so I knew that in order to keep from making myself sick, I needed to calm down, somehow.

I opened eyes just as they had started to move the plane down the strip. It wasn't long before I felt the plane pick up speed and lift off the ground.

I looked at Webster, who just smiled reassuringly as we headed for war.


	24. Jump of a Lifetime

A couple of hours later, I could hear the prop blasts around the plane. I turned in my seat to look out the small window. I could make out the bright blasts in the thick clouds as we neared the enemy.

Webster grabbed my left hand again, causing me to look over at him. He shouted over the noise of the plane and the blasts from outside, "Remember what I told you! I'll find you!"

I nodded and was about to reply, but we heard our jump master shout, "Stand up!"

Everyone stood up, and Webster let go of my sweaty hand. He was suddenly two people behind me.

I faced the front of the line, as I heard our next order, "Hook up!"

I quickly hooked onto the line as the plane started to shake violently. We cleared the heavy cloud cover, and the scene was terrifying!

Tracers were being shot up into the night sky at us, followed by prop blasts. Before the order to check equipment was given, the plane jostled us around. Several people fell while others grabbed the walls of the plane to keep on their feet.

I fell to my knees, and struggled to stand up. The man behind me helped me back to my feet.

Before we knew it, the jump light went off. I gasped at how quickly it was happening. We didn't check equipment, nor sound off for it. I was suddenly afraid, as I watched the people in front of me jumping out of the plane, and before I knew it, I was next in line.

I knew that I couldn't hesitate. I had to jump. So I did.

I started to fall and looked up. My chute didn't open. I realized that I was falling to the earth with no chute to stop me, to save me. I remembered suddenly to pull on my reserve chute cord.

I pull and prayed that it would work. Suddenly, I felt my body jerk back up into the midnight sky. I glanced up and saw that my reserve chute had opened.

My heart was pounding so hard as I looked around that I thought my ribs would break. My stomach was in knots and I could tell that I was shaking from adrenaline or fear, I couldn't say.

Above me, a plane burst into flames and started to plunge down to the ground. I watched as it hit the ground and exploded. I wasn't sure if anyone made it off the plane alive.

Looking around, I could see the tracers flying all around the black sky, in search of planes and men. I could feel the bile in my stomach rising and I was afraid. This jump was not as comforting as it had been when I had trained. There was no flashbacks of my mother, nor the feel of her presence.

I was alone. I was afraid and I was starting to descend onto occupied territory.

I glanced down to see where I was heading. I was lucky that I had missed the tree line, but I saw something that didn't look right.

As I neared it, I realized that it was a small body of water, such as a pond.

I quickly pulled on the risers, trying to steer myself away from the water, as I could already see a few chutes that cloaked the top of it.

The chute didn't cooperate. I landed in the middle of the water and sank. I was able to get one last breath in before I was submerged. My heavy musette bag pulled me down further into the water, and I feared how deep this body of water was.


	25. Found

I opened my eyes, fumbling around in the water, trying to move the chute in front of me. When I finally was able to get it away from me, I saw a fellow paratrooper staring wide eyed back at me.

I let out a quick and startled shriek, and kicking myself inwardly for wasting the valuable air that I desperately needed.

The man had long been dead, but his eyes were wide and staring at me.

I pulled on my harness, trying to free myself, but it was useless. I couldn't get out of it.

I suddenly realized that I needed to act fast as I was starting to feel the pressure of being under water, holding what air I had left.

I reached forward and grabbed the dead paratrooper's trench knife. I began to cut myself out of my harness as quickly as my hands would allow.

Once I was freed, I quickly bent down and cut the small cord of the musette bag from my ankle, which released me from the water's grasp. I started to float to the top of the water, and I kicked to make the process go faster.

I broke through the surface of this water that was housing a couple fellow troopers, and I gasped for much needed air.

I swam over to the bank and pulled myself half out. I coughed up the cold water, and inhaled the precious air, resting my head on the bank.

I could hear weapons being fired all around. I couldn't tell how close they were, but they were there. As I lay there inhaling air, I heard loud footsteps approaching me, and voices that I didn't recognize.

I froze. Part of me thought that if I didn't move, maybe they would pass by thinking I was dead.

The footsteps continued to approach me. Then, I heard the voices speaking over me.

"Was haben wir denn hier?" one of them asked.

His friend asked, "Ist das eine Frau?"

"Ja, es ist..." the first one replied.

"Ist sie tot?" the friend asked.

I didn't know a lot of German, but Webster had taught me some in our free time. I knew enough to know that they realized that I was a woman and it didn't help that my long wet hair was bound in a braid which they could clearly see since my helmet had fallen off. I was confident that they weren't going to leave me there, dead or alive, I realized they would pick me up.

I opened my eyes, and saw combat boots standing on one side of me. I had a feeling that his friend was most likely standing on the other side of me.

I was still holding the trench knife in my hand. I took in a deep breath, waiting for the moment that I would have to do what I had to. I was afraid to think of having to kill a man, but I didn't have any other options that I could think of.

The boots before me moved as the man knelt down beside me. I felt his hand grab my arm and another hand grab my other arm. I realized that they didn't notice the knife yet.

As soon as I was almost on my feet, I pushed the man on my right away from me, and my adrenaline kicked in.

The men were taken off guard and I was able to tackle the man on my left to the ground. As I straddled the man, I closed my eyes, just as I plunged the knife into his chest. I heard him scream in pain, and I kept pushing it to the hilt.

I opened my eyes, and saw the look in his. He was a young man, probably my age, and I was filled with dread and regret. Before I could turn around to face the man's friend, I heard a gun go off.

I flinched and lowered myself a little, but then everything grew silent, except for the gunfire in the distance.

I glanced over my right shoulder to see the outline of a man standing near the trees.

I couldn't make out who it was, but I knew it wasn't the enemy.

Before I stood, I looked back at the man that I was on top of. I pulled the knife out of his chest, and looked at my hands. They were covered in his blood.

I realized that I would have to live with this death for the rest of my life. I understood that I didn't have any options aside from kill or be killed. I had never taken another person's life before, and I couldn't shake the feeling away.

I had witnessed death a few times before, but it was different this time. Regardless of it being caused by war, I was still ashamed of what I did.

The man who had rescued me had approached, but didn't speak. He started to strip the dead German of supplies.

Suddenly, I remembered Webster's words to me. "I will find you".

I stood up and exclaimed, "Thank you for finding me! I don't think I would have lived if you hadn't have come along!"

I started approach him as I asked, "How was your jump, Webs-"

The man stood up and it was Lieutenant Speirs.

My mouth fell open and I whispered, "Not Webster..."

Speirs looked at me and asked, "Nurse Banks...are you all right?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

He looked at me before asking, "Where is your gear?"

I glanced over to the water before admitting, "I had to dump it."

He never looked at the water, but kept his gaze on me. He asked, "Do you have a weapon?"

I looked down at my blood covered hands that held the trench knife. I sighed as I met his gaze again.

He gritted his teeth and nodded. Sighing, he reached for his side arm and withdrew it from it's holster. He extended it out for me to take. When I didn't reach for it, he said, "Take it. Come on, take it."

I blinked and finally reached out for it. When I shakily removed it from his hands, he smirked slightly. I exhaled sharply, as I waited for orders.

He looked me up and down before asking, "Are you ready?"

I bit my lip and replied, "Yes, sir."

He started to lead me through the field toward the trees. When we reached them, we stayed within the trees to stay as hidden as we could.

As we walked through the forest, I asked, "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" he questioned as he kept looking about.

I clarified, "I mean...I guess it's safe to assume we're all off target from our drop zone?"

He replied, "That's about right."

I bit my lip, feeling uncomfortable being with him. I was confused as to the change in his personality. He had seemed distant but then he'd talk to me when no one was around, and now...

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

I blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

He stopped and looked at me. "You're biting your lip, and you've suddenly grown quiet, not to mention you're slowing your pace."

I looked up at him. I stopped biting my lip and apologized, "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Just answer the question," he ordered.

I took in a breath before stating, "You confuse me."

He chuckled as he continued to walk. I followed him.

I continued, "You seem so different when it's just you and me, and when you're around others. I don't understand that."

He shook his head before replying, "I think you're reading too much into things, Nurse Banks."

I started to think things over. Was it possible that I was thinking things over too much? I wasn't sure about anything when it came to him anymore.

"What happened between you and Private Webster?" he asked.

I stared at the back of his head. "What?"

"You heard me," he said.

I looked around, confused. I didn't know where this question had come from. I whispered, "He's just a good friend."

"That's not the rumor," Speirs suggested.

I could feel my cheeks growing hot and was thankful it was dark so that he couldn't see them. I asked, "What is the rumor then?"

Speirs suddenly grabbed me and pushed me to the ground, with him leaning over me. I was about to protest, but he placed one of his hands over my mouth, preventing me from making any noise.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a few people walking passed us. Whether they were our men or the enemy, we couldn't be sure. I knew that Speirs wasn't about to shout 'flash', nor use the cricket, just in case they were the enemy. If it was the enemy, we would be severely out numbered, and would be killed.

Speirs waited another moment before removing his hand from my mouth. He looked down at me and whispered, "Let's go."

I nodded. He pulled me up onto my feet. I followed him through the darkened forest.


	26. Unprepared

We walked several miles without seeing another soul. We didn't speak much either, which I was grateful for.

There was something about this man that made me feel like he knew everything that I had ever done wrong in my life. It was silly of me to feel this way, especially because he had done so much for me already.

He had helped me with Sobel and Jefferson, and then again when I was attacked by those two Germans. I bit my lip as I thought things through. He seemed like a nice guy, but he had an incredibly rough exterior that was almost impossible to break through.

I knew that it wouldn't be impossible to get to know him, but it would take a long time to get there. I wasn't sure if I would have the patience to get there, but I was also unsure of what he thought of me.

Pretty soon, we reached the edge of the forest and had to walk in the open.

I finally asked, "Where are we going, Lieutenant?"

Speirs replied, "There should be a farmhouse up ahead. We need to take a look there."

"Why?" I asked. I didn't remember any farmhouse being on our target sheet.

He explained, "It might be where battalion has set up head quarters."

I followed him carefully through the field as he led on.

After a moment's silence, he finally broke it by asking, "Where are you from, Nurse Banks?"

I watched my feet as I walked. "Here and there."

"Where would that be?" he prodded again.

I realized that it was futile to try and avoid sharing personal information with him, so I stated, "I grew up in Montana."

"Did you like it there?" he questioned me.

I wondered where he was going with this. I replied, "It was okay."

"You're lying, Nurse Banks," he pointed out.

I scoffed, "H-how do you know?"

He stopped and turned to look at me. After boring into my soul with his brooding eyes, he said, "You're a terrible liar."

I bit my lip and asked, "If I told you that it was the worst place I had ever been in my life. What would you say to that?"

He stared into my eyes, making me uncomfortable in the process, as he said, "At least it would be the truth." He glanced down at my lips and added, "Stop biting your lip."

I pursed my lips and asked, "Does that bother you?"

"Yes," he replied curtly.

"May I ask why?" I questioned.

He turned from me and replied, "It's a bad habit."

I cocked my head to the side and continued to follow him. "What?"

He repeated, "It's a bad habit."

"No, I heard you. I don't understand," I admitted.

Speirs stopped and looked at me again. He stated, "You're going to damage your lips by constantly biting them. It's a bad habit...one you should stop."

I blinked at him. "So, you're telling me that you think it's a bad habit like smoking and drinking?"

He smiled at me, a true genuine smile. "I know what you're doing."

"What am I doing?" I asked.

He stepped forward, closing the gap between us. "You're trying to trap me. It's not going to work."

"What?" I asked, stepping back.

He followed and replied, "You were about to tell me that your lip biting is nothing like other bad habits."

He stared at me intensely as I asked, "Isn't it?"

We stood there, just staring at each other. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, or do. I finally broke the silence by asking, "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked, still staring at me.

I looked away. "Treat me differently when we're alone."

"I treat you the same regardless of who is around," he said as he turned to continue walking.

I cleared my throat and pointed out, "No, you don't. When there are others around, you-"

He raised his left hand, ordering me to be quiet. When he knelt down, I did the same, suddenly looking around for whatever or whoever he heard.

Within moments, we heard the cricket sounds. Speirs aptly pulled his out and responded. Soon after, we were greeted by a couple of our troops.

"Good to see you, Lieutenant," one of the men stated as he approached us.

Speirs replied, "You too, Private."

We stood up to regroup with these men. Speirs asked, "Have they set up battalion near here?"

"Yes sir. Up the path here at the farmhouse," the private replied.

Speirs nodded and looked over his shoulder at me. "Let's get you to battalion."

I looked between him and the three Privates that surrounded him. I inhaled and followed him without question.

We didn't have far to walk and when we got to the road, we could see the building up ahead.

Speirs stated, "When we get to battalion, you'll need to check in to your commander."

I nodded. As we neared the farmhouse, I realized that Speirs didn't say this much to anyone. During the years that I had known him, even from a distance, I had observed that he had spoken more to me in the short amount of time we were together, than he had during the entirety of training.

As we entered the property, I could see a lot of our men getting assembled. I spotted Lieutenant Winters with Compton.

Speirs stopped and turned around to look at me. He stated, "I'll take you where you need to go."

I whispered, "You don't have to...I mean, I think I can find it if you're busy."

He eyed me for a moment. "I'll take you."

I raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in disposition. I realized that I would have to get over his personality changes, but it was going to take some time.

As he led me through the property to where I was supposed to go, I searched the area looking for someone I knew. More importantly, I was looking for Webster.

I was so involved in looking around, that I didn't see that we had arrived to our makeshift med station.

"Nurse Banks?" Speirs spoke.

I blinked up to meet his gaze. "Yes?"

Speirs looked around before looking into my eyes once more. "Looking for someone?"

I cleared my throat. "No. I'm sorry. Thank you, Lieutenant."

He stood there for a moment, and I finally mustered the courage to look him in the eyes. He nodded then walked away from me, without so much of a word.

I stood there watching him walk across the yard, when one of the medics tapped me on the shoulder.

"We need you over here," the man said.

I nodded and said, "I'm coming."

When I rounded the corner of the makeshift med station, I didn't realize that we already had so many wounded that needed tending.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw all the wounded. Nothing could have prepared me for this scene.

The medic asked me, "Where's your stuff?"

I never looked away from the wounded. "I- I lost it."

"How could you lose it? Never mind..." He started to walk back to the wounded. He stopped and pointed to an area around the corner before saying, "I'm sure there's a pack of supplies over there. Find one and let's get to work."

I walked around to see where he was pointing, and saw a few bodies lying in a row. My mouth fell open as I stared at them. I blinked and inhaled deeply. I knew that I needed to focus but it was going to take a lot of concentration to do so.

I approached the bodies and saw that one of them was a medic. I closed my eyes, hoping that it wasn't someone that I knew. It was bad enough that it was men from our own team, and I didn't know how I would react if it was someone that I knew.

I bent down and unbuckled the pack from the dead medic's body. I pulled it away from him and noticed that it was a medic from I Company. I sighed as I stood up, re-buckling the bag to fix the strap.

I slung it over my shoulder, still staring at the dead men. I licked my lips and asked, "Where do you need me to start?"


	27. Sharing Secrets

As I was working, I could hear bone shaking booms coming from somewhere nearby. I stopped working for a moment to look up.

The medic stated, "There's a German outpost near here. I think I heard them talking about sending a group out to take it care of it."

"Do you know which group?" I questioned.

The medic shook his head. "No. I'm not even sure when they are planning on doing it."

I looked at the man that I was examining. He had been shot in the shoulder. One of our men had found him and helped him get here. They did the best they could with the limited resources that they had.

I started to remove the blood soaked bandage from his left shoulder. As soon as it was off the wound, I saw how bad it really was. I swallowed and asked, "How did this happen?"

The pale man replied, "During the jump."

My mouth fell open. Suddenly I realized that he had been hit with a bigger round than a normal bullet. The wound was deep and the damage was beyond my skills to help him. I furrowed my brow as I tried the best that I could to clean it up.

I heard voices approaching and looked over my left shoulder to see who was coming.

Strayer and a couple of his assistants walked up to us. Strayer asked, "How's everything here?"

The medic replied, "We're doing the best that we can, sir."

Strayer looked at me, and stated, "You might want to know Nurse Banks, that your unit is heading to take out that outpost."

"Should I be heading out with them, sir?" I asked.

Strayer shook his head. "No. Stay here. We need you here more than they do."

I nodded and watched as Strayer looked around at the work we were doing before he walked away with his men following him.

The medic approached me. He was covered in dried blood. He asked, "You're lucky you don't have to go out there."

"Why's that?" I questioned, suddenly turning back to my patient.

"Because it's hell out there that's why," the man stated as he walked away from me.

I glanced at him as he walked away. I sighed, not sure what to say to that. I understood that everyone had a different way of handling situations like this, but if we didn't stand together when we needed to, what would happen later when things got really bad?

The man I was working on looked at me and asked, "So...how's it look?"

I met his fading green eyes. "It's looking good."

"Liar," he chuckled, then coughed.

I raised an eyebrow before asking, "Why do you think I'm lying?"

He replied, "Because I saw the look on your face when you first saw the wound and I'm not stupid. I was in medical school, you know."

"Really? Why are you here then?" I asked as I continued to work the gaping hole in his shoulder.

He stated, "I thought that I would serve my country...I had hoped to be a medic, but they denied my request."

"Why would they do that?" I asked in honest curiosity.

He looked away from me as he replied, "I guess they needed more troopers instead."

I looked at him. I stopped messing with his wound and asked, "What's your name, soldier?"

He met my gaze and whispered, "Thomas."

I smiled at him. "It's nice to meet you, Thomas. My name is Emmeline."

"Emmeline...lovely," he said as he tried to smile.

I looked back at his shoulder and reached forward to continue my work. He grabbed my hand with his working on. I glanced to look at him.

He shook his head. "Don't."

I cocked my head to the side as I asked, "Don't what?"

"Just don't...I'm not going to make it," he stated.

"You can't say things like that-" I started.

He chuckled. "I know for a fact that I'm not going to make it...so, just don't."

I lowered my hand from his shoulder and asked, "If you don't want me to try and fix you up...what do you want?"

He thought for a moment, still holding my hand, he asked quietly, "Do you think you could just sit with me?"

I looked at him surprised. I nodded and replied, "Yes, of course."

"Help me get over there," he said pointing to the wall with the dead men.

I looked back at him and asked, "Are you sure you don't want to sit somewhere else?"

"It will be easier for you to have me sit there, then you won't have to try and move me later when I..." he let his words drift away.

I sighed and said, "Okay...if that's what you want."

He smiled as he stood up from the cot. He threw his good arm over my shoulder and we slowly walked to the spot he wanted to sit.

I helped him sit down on the ground before I sat next to him.

He swallowed and asked, "Do you think...do you think you could hold me?"

I could feel the tears forming behind my eyes. I blinked them away, as I didn't want to make him feel bad for making me cry. I reached out for him and pulled him into my arms.

He rested his head on my shoulder as we sat there. He asked, "Where are you from, Emmeline?"

I brushed some of his dark hair back as I replied, "I grew up in Montana."

He asked, "What did you do there?"

I bit my lip before replying, "Honestly, I didn't do anything."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I thought for a moment. I didn't know how best to answer the question. Suddenly, I stated, "I grew up in a wayward home. It was a dark place filled with dark secrets."

"You mean dark people," he suggested.

I sighed and admitted, "Yeah."

He cleared his throat and asked, "What happened to you?"

I leaned my head against his and replied, "I'm not sure how to respond to that."

"You were beaten there, weren't you?" he asked.

I bit my lip and said, "Yeah."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I said, "It's okay. I've never talked about it to anyone before."

"No one?" he asked.

I nodded. "It's something that no one else could understand."

He suggested, "I bet that I could..."

I smiled slightly and stated, "I was one of the lucky ones. There were several girls who killed themselves just to get away from it all. Things were never easy for me and so I withdrew...I stopped talking to people, stopped sharing things with others...I just became a shadow. When I was old enough and smart enough, I took off. I ran away. I lived each day with new people, new surroundings...and I never looked back. I knew that they would be looking for me so when I heard the military was looking for girls to volunteer as nurses, I signed up. I figured that I could escape my past and help those around me...I feel like I've failed at that too."

Two men carried another man on a stretcher to the cot Thomas was on. One of the men shouted at me, "Nurse! We need your help here! We got a wounded man!"

I looked at them and replied, "I'll be right there."

I heard a familiar voice cry out, "Emmeline! I'm hurting here!"

I looked up and saw that the voice belonged to Wynn. "I'll be right there, Popeye!"

I brushed Thomas's dark hair aside and looked at him. His eyes were closed and he wasn't breathing anymore.

I sighed heavily and felt the tears fall from my dark eyes. I lowered him to the ground, next to his comrades as he asked me to. Then I reached forward and picked up his dog tags. I unclipped them from the chain and put them in my pack.

I looked at him one last time and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Thomas. I'm so very sorry...forgive me."

The man behind me shouted again, "Nurse!"

I stood up and sniffled. "Yeah. I'm coming."

I turned and walked over to them. When I was next to Wynn, I asked, "What happened, Popeye? Where are you hit?"

"It got me in my ass!" he cried.

I looked at his wound, then up to the men standing there. "Thank you. I'll take it from here."

The two men looked at each other before leaving me alone with Wynn.

I asked Wynn, "What happened?"

Wynn told me the story about how he had gotten shot and what the mission was. I had distracted him long enough to cut open a bigger hole in his pants to start cleaning it up.

As he finished his story, a husky voice asked, "Private Wynn?"

I glanced up to see Speirs approaching us. My breath hitched.

Wynn groaned, "Yes sir?"

"What's the situation out there?" Speirs asked as he watched me work.

Wynn grunted, "I'm not sure, sir. There's a lot of Germans there...ah!"

"Sorry, Pop," I apologized. I felt bad, but it was a sensitive area and it was going to be painful to clean it up.

Speirs asked, "How many men do you have out there?"

Wynn replied honestly, "I'm not sure, sir. I think they could use some help...and ammo...ah!"

Speirs looked at me as he said, "Thank you, Private...I'll see what I can do."

I watched as he walked away from us. I hoped that he would be okay out there, just as I had hoped everyone else that participated in the mission would.

Wynn grunted, "For the love of God...Just kill me now and get it over with!"

I looked down at him and asked with a smirk, "Where's the fun in that, Popeye?"

He groaned as he lowered his head onto the cot. I shook my head, slightly amused as I started to bandage it up.

I explained, "You're going to be heading back to England, Pop. You're going to need to go to the hospital there..."

I suddenly had a thought. I asked him, "Hey, Popeye? Do you think you could do me a favor?"

He looked up at me and asked, "What kind of favor?"

"Do you think that you could deliver a letter for me?" I asked.

He asked, "To who?"

I replied, "Darla..."

"Oh, right. She's in England?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. She's working at Home Base. Do you think you could do that for me, if I write it now?"

He nodded as he stated, "Sure thing...as long as you give me some water."

"Done," I replied, smiling at him.


	28. Letters & Reunions

I sat across the way overlooking the makeshift med station as I wrote the letter to Darla. It was the best for privacy that I could get given the circumstances. I pulled out the notebook she gave me from my inside coat pocket and opened the cover.

The first page was already written on by Darla. I never noticed it until now. I sat there and read the page setting aside the letter I needed to write before they took Wynn out. Some of the words were difficult to make out, as I had been submerged in the water, allowing the books to get wet.

Dearest Emmeline,

If you're reading this, then you're already far away from me.

Even though you are so far away, I hope that this will find that you are well.

I never expected to have found such an amazing friend in you, someone that I could talk to, share secrets with, and love as a sister would love. I know that you don't like to talk about your past or the things that you've been through, but just know that whenever the day comes that you decide to share, I'll be here waiting, even if it means waiting a lifetime.

I won't make this anymore sappy than it already is, so I'll leave you with just this. By love and grace, I am amazed and blessed to have you in my life. No matter what happens to us in this war, I pray that you will make it through to the end, and we will be reunited once more.

I pray that I will see you again soon. Write to me often, and I will respond to you, sending you love and encouragement when you need it. I miss you already, and you're sitting across the room from me as I write this. You look so sad for some reason, and I so desperately want to go over to you and hug you.

So, I will say that I love you. I love you. I love you. Come back to me safely.

Forever your loving 'sister',

Darla

I read and reread the note she left in the notebook. I sighed and realized how much I missed her. With everything that has happened in the past 12 hours, I realized how much I depended on her.

I blinked away the tears, bit my lip and turned the page. I pressed the pencil to the page, and began to write my response. I felt the words flow onto the page effortlessly. I told her about the jump, how I had to keep from drowning, how I had to kill that young German to live, and how I was saved by Speirs. I told her about the death that I had seen, and all about Thomas. I even told her that I had not seen Webster, and how I hoped that he was okay, that he would find me. I explained to her that even though I loved Webster as a friend, that I felt calmer around him, safer even.

Then I finished it by telling her how much I missed her and the rest of the girls, but her the most. I told her that I had always felt that she was the mother that I never had, and that I prayed every spare moment that I had to be reunited with her someday soon, and how I hated the war but loved it for bringing us together.

I thanked her for her loving note before signing my name to my letter and pulling the page out to fold. Once it was folded, I kissed it, letting a tear or two escape my eyes. I tucked the letter in my coat pocket and closed the notebook.

I placed the notebook into my coat pocket for safe keeping and withdrew the notebook that I bought.

I looked across the yard and saw Thomas's body lying there. I opened my notebook, and wrote his name inside with today's date. I realized that I wouldn't be able to keep track of every death, but I felt that if I could just keep track of those that I was around to see, to witness, then I could try and contact their families when I got home, if I got home.

I stared at his name in my notebook, before shutting the cover and placing it in the same pocket as Darla's. I stood up and made my way over to Wynn. I bent down to his level.

"Finish your letter?" he asked.

I withdrew the folded paper from my coat and said, "I did. Promise me you won't look at it."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" he asked with a smile.

"I mean it, Wynn...Privacy, please..." I replied as I returned the smile.

He nodded and said, "No peeping. Promise."

I stood up and started to walk away, when he asked, "Hey, Em?"

"Yeah?" I asked as I turned to look at him.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"Of course...why do you ask?" I questioned.

He shrugged before stating, "Just making sure you're okay. You seem like you've been through a lot already."

I scoffed with a smile. "Yeah...I think we've all been through a lot already."

He smiled as I turned away from him.

I suddenly noticed that the gun blasts were quieter now. I wondered if we succeeded in our mission, and then I wondered how many men were killed or wounded trying to accomplish it.

Before I had a chance to find out, the two men who escorted Wynn over had returned. They looked at me before one of them stated, "We've been ordered to gather all of the men who are to return to England, and move them over there."

I looked to where he was pointing and nodded. "He's going back. Be gentle with him, it's still pretty sensitive."

"Yes, ma'am..." the second one said slightly mockingly.

A voice asked, "Are you being disrespectful to our nurse, Private?"

All three of us turned to see who was speaking. It was Speirs.

The man quickly replied, "No sir. I mean- I didn't mean-"

Speirs stated, "Then get back to work and don't give her anymore grief."

"Yes sir," the man responded as they walked away to get Wynn.

I looked at Speirs and said, "Thanks."

He nodded curtly and asked, "How are you doing here?"

I licked my lips and sighed, "I've been better."

He stood closely and waited for me to continue. I wasn't sure what to say or do, as I never did when I was around him.

He finally stated, "I see that you've found another kit."

I looked down at the pack that was slung over my shoulder. I nodded and said, "I did...from that medic." I pointed to the dead man along the wall.

Speirs looked briefly, before meeting my eyes again. He held out his hand and stated, "I believe you have something that belongs to me."

I furrowed my brow and looked at him confused. "What?"

He cocked his head to the side, looking slightly annoyed. "My sidearm."

"Oh!" I opened my coat and pulled it out. I handed it to him and said, "Thank you for letting me borrow it back there..."

He nodded and started to walk away. I asked, "Lieutenant?"

H turned to look at me. I added quietly, "Thank you...for saving me back there. I-I don't know what would have-"

"You're welcome," he interjected as he turned and walked away from me.

I watched as Wynn was carried away from me, and he shouted to me, "I'll get it to her! I promise!"

I just smiled as he was walked away.

Once Wynn was out of my sight, someone else caught my attention.

Walking back with the rest of the group was Bill Guarnere. He met my gaze and I suddenly remembered our last encounter.

The last time I spoke with Bill, he was angry and hostile, maybe not directly at me, but enough to make me hesitant to approach him any time soon.

I turned to leave to gather what little belongings I had, and to resupply my new med kit. I entered the makeshift med station and set about my task.

I heard a voice behind me speak, "Hey Em."

I glanced over my right shoulder to see that Bill had followed me into the station. I asked politely, "Hey Bill. What can I do for you?"

He looked a little uncomfortable but replied, "Actually, I came to apologize."

"For what?" I asked.

He walked closer to me as he stated, "You know why. Look, I'm sorry. You caught me at a bad time. I didn't mean to lash out at you."

I nodded and said, "I know, Bill. It's okay. I'm just worried about you."

He stood there awkwardly for a moment before he nodded and eventually walked away. He stopped and asked, "So, I'll see you around, then?"

I smirked and replied, "I'll be right there behind you."

He returned the smirk. He walked away to rejoin his friends across the courtyard.

Once he walked away, I spotted Winters talking to Strayer. When Strayer walked away from him, Winters met my gaze. He smiled at me, and I returned the gesture.

Winters didn't come over to see or talk to me. I watched as he approached the Armored Division that rolled into our area. He climbed up onto a tank that Nixon sat on, and they rolled on down the road together.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the tanks. I started to approach them, in hopes that this was Sarah's unit.

As I neared some of the stationary tanks, I asked one of the operators, "Do you have a field nurse in this unit?"

The man replied, as he pointed across the yard, "Yeah. She's somewhere over there."

I smiled up at the man. "Thank you very much!"

I found myself walking quickly across the yard, searching for their nurse. If Sarah was here, I wanted to see her before we were separated again.

As I rounded the corner, I could hear her voice. I stopped in my tracks when my eyes fell upon her.

She finished patching up one of her troopers and stood up. She placed something into her pack and looked up.

Our eyes locked. We smiled and broke down into happy tears as we rushed towards each other, embracing one another tightly. Our tears streamed down our dirty faces.

Finally, I pulled away and asked, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head and replied, "I'm okay. Some of the men had a couple of cuts, but we're okay."

She looked down at me and spotted the dried blood that crusted over on my uniform and hands. Her eyes grew wide as she asked, "What happened to you?"

I glanced down at my uniform and hands. "It's not my blood. I'm okay."

She nodded and asked, "How was the jump?"

I scoffed, "I landed in water, had to fight off some of the enemy with the help of-"

She cut me off, "Are you okay? Did you lose all of your stuff? I don't see any of your equipment."

I pulled her into a half hug as we started to walk together. I explained, "I had to dump my stuff, or I would have drowned otherwise. I'm okay, really. I had some help."

She nodded and asked, "Have you seen Gordon yet?"

I shook my head as I replied, "I haven't seen many from my unit. We were dropped all over the place."

Before she could ask anymore questions, a man shouted, "Sarah! We're moving out! Let's go!"

I looked at her sadly, asking slightly shocked, "You're leaving already?"

She stated just as sadly, "Yeah. We have a lot of ground to cover before we get to our final destination."

I questioned, "Where's that?"

Sarah shook her head. "I'm not sure. They don't tell me much, really."

I said, "Probably for your protection."

She shrugged. I walked her to her unit and asked, "Have you seen or heard from anyone else?"

She shook her head and stated, "Just you."

I sighed and said, "Me either."

"I hope they're okay," Sarah mused.

I nodded in agreement. She hugged me again and whispered, "I have to go now. I love you. If you see Gordon, tell him that I remember."

"Remember what?" I asked confused.

She blushed and stated, "He'll know what it means. Just tell him if you see him."

I kissed her cheek and promised, "I will. Be safe and write to Darla."

She replied as she pulled away from me, "I will."

Sarah waved to me with a sad smile. She turned away from me and ran to catch up to her unit as they pulled out of Brecourt.

Seeing Sarah brought mixed emotions to my heart and mind. I think the biggest reason for that was knowing that everything was unknown. Where would she go? Would she make it through unharmed? All of these questions echoed inside but in order to keep my sanity, I quickly quieted them.

If I were to survive, I needed to focus on my men as well as my wellbeing. I had to believe that she would find a way to keep alive or rely on those around her. Truth be told, I prayed that she would be smart enough to figure it out on her own.


	29. Alone Together

Later that night, I found myself writing Darla another letter. I knew this would become a habit or even a way to escape, if only for a moment, while pouring out my feelings and emotions without burdening those around me.

The last thing that any of the men would need from me is to hear my sobs and complaints. Those would be for Darla, so that she could possibly bring me back to the present by any means necessary.

I had found a small semi-hidden spot on a hilltop overlooking Brecourt Manor. I could see fires in the distance. They were stunning yet terrifying to see. I stopped writing my letter to watch them as they lit up the midnight sky.

I suddenly tore my gaze from the blaze to scan the area around me and looked upon each man who was near me. I came to realize at that moment that even if I felt alone, I had people surrounding me feeling the same way as me.

It was a bittersweet comfort to know that I was never truly alone. My eyes fell upon Winters. I watched as he gazed upon the fires. He never saw me, but I could spot his regrets and remorse from whatever happened at Brecourt Manor.

After he turned and headed back into town, I turned back to the blaze, then I looked up. I could see Polaris, the North star that Webster had shown me. I smiled as I remembered him, but suddenly felt the tears running down my cheeks. I prayed that wherever he was at this moment, he was safe. I hoped he was alive and that we'd be reunited because I missed him dearly.

I barely slept that night. I couldn't relax enough to allow myself a moment's rest. Each time my eyes started to close, a noise or voice would awaken me. Feeling frustrated at the lack of sleep, I just stood up and began to walk about the camp.

There were a quite a few sentries guarding the camp, so I didn't feel nervous as I made my rounds.

As I roamed the grounds aimlessly, I heard a voice speak to me from behind. "Nurse Banks? What are you doing up at this hour?"

I jumped, slightly startled. I turned around to confront my sudden visitor. The silhouette was familiar to me. "I-I couldn't sleep, sir."

Stepping into the moonlight, Speirs eyed me. "Why is that, Nurse Banks?"

I bit the inside of my lip, trying to hide my nervousness from him. "I don't know."

"Yet you felt that you were safe enough to roam the camp at this hour? Do you realize that one of the sentries could shoot you should they think you're the enemy?" He stepped towards me as he spoke, causing a little fear in me.

I stammered, "I-I d-didn't think-"

"That's right. You didn't think," he cut me off.

I furrowed my brow at him, suddenly angry with him. "What is wrong with me taking a walk about the camp? I'm not leaving it nor am I going so far to the edge of our camp to be mistaken as the enemy!"

He raised an eyebrow at my sudden voice. Suddenly, a small smirk graced his lips before he killed it. "Get back to bed, Nurse Banks. We move out in the morning."

Since he was in no hurry to walk away from me, I asked, "Why do you do that?"

He held my gaze. "Do what, Nurse Banks?"

"Bully me," I replied softly.

He glanced over his left shoulder before returning his gaze to me. "I do not bully you."

"Yes, you do. You do every time we're alone together...at least...most of the time..." I was confused by his behavior. Each time I thought I had him figured out, he did something else to confuse and surprise me.

He sighed. "I treat you the way that I treat everyone-"

I cut him off, "No, you don't and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying that when we both know that it's not true."

He chuckled before replying, "I'm amazed that you've suddenly found a little backbone, Nurse Banks. I wonder where you found it."

I gritted my teeth before muttering, "Your constant teasing and bullying probably caused it."

Smiling, he nodded. "I'll escort you back to your bunk."

I sighed heavily, realizing that I had, once again, lost this battle with him. I walked beside him towards the makeshift med station.

When we reached the edge of the med station, he whispered, "Just when I thought I had you figured out, Nurse Banks."

I glanced up at him. "Excuse me?"

He towered over me. "You're not the meek mouse that I thought you were."

Just before he was about to leave, I suddenly asked, "Lieutenant Speirs?"

He stopped. Looking at me, he waited for me to continue.

"How did you find out about what happened between me and Sergeant Jefferson?" I asked quietly.

Speirs looked at me, a small glimmer of sadness or remorse in his eyes. He nodded slightly as he said, "Good night, Nurse Banks."

I stood there and watched as he walked away from me without answering my question. I sighed heavily, shaking my head at that man.

Maybe Darla was right. Perhaps he didn't have a heart that could love.


	30. Rumors

The next morning, I woke to the sounds of trucks driving away from Brecourt. I blinked a few times as I slowly sat up from my sleeping spot.

As I stood up, adjusting my things over my shoulder, I spied my unit assembling across the courtyard.

I began to meander my way over to join them when I caught a glimpse of Speirs out of the corner of my eye. I suddenly stopped to look over at him.

He was staring at me. Within moments of meeting his gaze, he quickly adverted his look to a trooper standing beside him.

I stood there wondering what Speirs's problem with me was.

A group of troopers standing close to me were talking and their conversation caught my attention.

"I don't know about you, but he scares the hell out of me," one of the men stated.

His friend noticed me looking at Speirs and asked, "What do you think, Nurse Banks?"

I turned my gaze to them. "About what?"

The one who noticed me nodded towards Speirs. "What do you think about him? Does he scare you?"

"Why would he scare me?" I asked. I began to wonder if everyone could tell that I secretly was, as everyone else was, but I tried to hide it.

The first trooper asked, "Did you hear what he did on D-Day?"

I shook my head. As far as I knew, he had jumped like the rest of us and rescued me. I didn't know what he did after he escorted me to the med station we set up. "No, what did he do?"

The man stated, "He gave a group of German POWs some cigarettes and then gunned them down in cold blood."

My breath hitched. "He didn't..."

"I know a guy who saw it. Says it was the scariest thing he'd seen! Said the look on his face was pure evil," the man replied.

I glanced back over to Speirs.

The man's friend joked, "Don't take any cigarettes from him! You never know what he might do!"

As the men began to laugh at their joke, I peered over my shoulder at them.

Suddenly, a voice barked from behind us, "Are you men ready to go?"

The laughter stopped within seconds. All three of us turned to see who was shouting at us. It was Lieutenant Speirs. He eyed the men as he waited for a reply.

The men nodded after saluting to their CO.

Speirs never blinked at them. "Then get into formation, we're heading out."

The men took a couple steps forward, and Speirs asked, "Smoke?"

All of our eyes were wide as we stared at the cigarettes he was extending out to us. The men didn't speak a word. They rushed away from the two of us. Speirs placed his pack of cigarettes back into his coat pocket and he looked at me. "Nurse Banks, don't you have something better to do than to encourage my men to gossip?"

I was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"They seemed to be enjoying your company and your conversation a little too much," Speirs stated.

My mouth fell open. I couldn't believe that he was pinning this on me. I clarified, "Just so you are aware, Lieutenant, I wasn't gossiping with your soldiers. They asked me a question and I replied."

"If that is true, why were they laughing?" he questioned me.

I stayed firm. "They made a joke."

"But you didn't think it was funny," he pointed out. It wasn't a question, but a statement.

I shook my head. "No, I didn't."

Speirs eyed me as he asked, "What was the joke?"

I didn't want to get sucked into this battle, so I stated, "I have to get back to my unit before they move out."

I started to walk passed him when he stopped me by grabbing my left upper arm. I stopped and looked down at his hold on my arm. "Please let go of me."

He stated, "I expect an answer, Nurse Banks."

I turned to face him, and he released me as I stood in front of him, arms crossed over my chest and I was glaring into his brooding eyes. "I don't think you should know."

"Why is that?" he questioned, looking slightly amused and frustrated.

I replied, "Because it was a private conversation between me and your men. If they wanted to tell you what the joke was about, they would have shared it with you, but they didn't because you are scary!"

"I'm scary?" he repeated, clearly amused.

I sighed and asked, "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" he questioned as he extended his arm out in front of him.

We walked through the small camp towards my unit as I clarified, "Is the rumor about you true?"

"What rumor?" he asked, avoiding my gaze.

I hesitated a moment before asking, "Did you really kill a group of German POWs?"

We stopped just out of my unit's hearing range. All eyes were on us, but they couldn't hear what we were saying.

When he didn't reply right away, I turned my gaze away from the terrified members of my unit to look into his dark eyes. He didn't take his eyes off of the men from my company. I asked, "Is it true?"

Lieutenant Speirs finally turned his dark eyes to me. "What do you think?"

Before I could answer, he walked away from me. I watched him as he walked further away from me.

A new voice came from behind me. "Are you out of your mind?"

I tore my gaze off of the fleeting Speirs to see who was speaking to me. My eyes met those familiar ones of Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye. "What are you talking about?"

The two exchanged glances before Guarnere stated, "He's crazy, Em!"

I looked between the two of them. "Why do you say that?"

"Haven't you heard?" Bill asked.

Finally, I asked a question of my own. "Do you believe what's being said about him?"

Guarnere looked at Toye who spoke, "We talked to a guy who was there, Em. He shot those prisoners."

I sighed and shook my head. "Okay, if you say it happened, I guess I don't have any reason to disbelieve you."

They looked relieved to hear those words. I couldn't help but wonder if it was true or not, regardless of everything that I was hearing about him. As I stepped towards them, they wrapped their arms around my shoulders.


	31. Pinned Down

We were ordered to move out of the farmhouse that sat just beyond the fields of Brecourt Manor and towards Saint Come du Mont where we would be resupplied and given new orders from Lieutenant Colonel Robert Ballard.

We would have to travel through Vierville in order to reach Saint Come du Mont. As we marched onward, more and more of our men joined the fray. The men joining us from all across the peninsula would share their horror stories of being outnumbered and surrounded by the enemy. Each story was slightly different and each had the men finding more friendly faces as they headed in one direction or another, hoping that it would lead them to their unit.

Each time we saw the familiar uniforms of our men, my heart raced as I hoped Webster would be one of those men, but so far, he wasn't accounted for.

The words he last spoke to me echoed in my memory. "I'll find you!"

I was so lost in my own mind thinking about Webster and everything that has happened to me in the past twenty-four hours that I didn't hear Bull approach me until he asked, "How are you holding up, Em?"

I blinked out of my trance and looked over at him. "I'm okay. How are you?"

Bull pulled his lit cigar stub out of his mouth and stated, "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

I nodded and started to watch my feet as we walked. I was about to ask another polite question, but Bull interrupted me.

"How are you really holding up?" he asked, looking at me with concern.

I glanced up to see his face. I looked away to focus on where I was walking. I explained, "I'm not sure...I'm worried."

He nodded. "That's to be expected."

"Is it?" I questioned. "I mean, I'm not really worried about myself. I keep thinking about everyone else."

Bull replied simply, "It is."

I stated, "I keep thinking about the girls and the others that we haven't found yet... Do you think they are okay?"

Bull replaced his cigar in his mouth. "They'll be all right, Em. Just like you."

I smiled slightly as he walked away from me to rejoin his friends. I hoped that he was right, but I wasn't convinced. How could one be so confident in the midst of a war?

Suddenly, gunfire was ringing through the air. I heard someone shout the order, "Find some cover!"

We ran for the hedgerows and their trenches as quickly as possible. I jumped in next to Christenson and Boyle. Our spot was on the edge of the hedgerow trench and the ditch from the road that was nearby.

We waited for further orders. Shouts eventually made their way towards us, "Sniper! Stay down!"

I bit my lip as I waited for the next move, growing anxious. I pushed myself further in the trench as I could with each snap of a bullet.

Christenson was lying next to me in the tight trench. He looked up at me and whispered, "We're going to be okay, Em! Just watch!"

I looked over at him and whispered back with my shaky voice, "I hope you're right."

Christenson glanced down the trench and stated, "I can see Gordon setting up his BAR now. He's going to hammer that sniper!"

I was too scared to look up to watch Gordon. I just placed my hands over my helmet, hoping it would be over soon.

Unfortunately for us, we were pinned down for the night. No one slept due to the sniper that we couldn't locate. I wondered if this was a small group of snipers that were holding the small town we were passing through.

As the night slowly moved on, Boyle asked, "What is that smell? Chris, did you just break wind and not warn me?"

Christenson glanced over to Boyle. "What the hell are you talking about? That's not me!"

I took a slow inhale and coughed at the stench. I peered through the hedgerow to the other side and saw the cause. I muttered under my breath, "Bodies."

Christenson asked, "What?"

I pointed carefully at the hedgerow. "There are dead bodies on the other side of our hedgerow."

"That's what's causing the smell?" Boyle questioned as he peered through alongside of us.

I explained, "Who knows how long they have been there...but they are starting to bloat already. We're going to need to bury them soon."

Winters crawled through the trenches to check on all of us. When he reached us, he asked, "How are you guys holding up?"

Christenson stated, "We're all right, but sir? We have a slight problem."

Without explaining, Christenson just pointed through the small opening in the hedgerow to show Winters what we were talking about.

Winters nodded and stated, "We've got some scouts out in the town now, taking care of our little problem, alongside Fox Company. Once we get the situation under control, we'll start burying the bodies."

I nodded and asked, "Would it be all right if I catalog the dead sir? Assuming they are ours?"

Winters gave me a sympathetic look before nodding. "I think that's a good idea to keep a record of the dead. We can send it back to Battalion for letters home."

I nodded as I watched him crawl back down the trench where he came from.


	32. Burying the Dead

When morning finally approached, the world around us was quiet. None of us slept and we were being ordered to move out of the trenches. Fox Company, alongside our few scouts, managed to secure the quaint village.

We stood up and the men began to dig the grave for the bodies. Most were civilians, most likely from the village we just liberated, but there were a couple of our troopers too.

As the men began digging and separating the bodies, I started to search for dog tags. I pulled out my notebook and looked down at the page. I saw a set of dog tags already, with the first name in the book.

Palmer, Thomas - 1945, June 6

I swallowed and held back tears. I remembered Thomas everyday. It was hard to remember those final moments with him.

A voice behind me cleared and I blinked back to reality. I focused on my task and pulled the first set of dog tags off of the first body. I began to write the name in my book and placed the tags in my bag as I continued down the line.

The smell of the dead was more than most could handle. I heard some of the men vomiting by the hedgerows from it. I finished writing the six names into my book and closed it, replacing it into my bag.

I walked over to the man getting sick from the smell. "Are you okay?"

Muck turned to look at me. "How can you stand the smell, Em?"

"I don't like the smell, Muck," I replied as I offered him some toilet paper to wipe his mouth off.

He stood up and took the paper from me. "Well, you're the only one who hasn't turned green from all of this...why is that?"

I exhaled as I explained, "I guess it's because I have more experience with death than any of you."

Without allowing him to continue to question me, I just walked away from him. I found a small spot away from everyone and just watched as they finished burying the dead.

As I sat far away from the rest of the men, I switched notebooks and started to write to Darla.

Dear Darla,

Right now, my unit is burying the dead citizens of a village we came across in the night. Among them were some of our soldiers. Who knows how long they had been there, as they've begun to bloat and smell.

One of the men in my unit asked me why I can tolerate the smell. I just told him that I've been around death before. I fear that I can't tell them what I've been through for fear they will change their outlook of me.

However, seeing all of this death around me and the waves of emotion that I'm feeling, I need to tell someone and I would rather it be you. See, the truth of the matter is...well...complicated. My dad died helping our allies in Europe in the first war, just before it ended. I never met him as I was born shortly before he left. My mother received word of his death when I was three, almost immediately after mailing him a letter filled with love and happy stories of what was happening at home. She took her own life that night.

After my mother's death, I was alone in that house for weeks with her body. It wasn't until the neighbor came over one morning to check on her, did she discover the scene. The smell alerted her to my mother's death.

I was taken from that home and placed into a wayward home for girls several towns over. That is where I was no longer the happy child that my mother once loved. I know you and the rest of the girls would be upset with me for never speaking of my past or my childhood, but here it is...at least some of it.

In that wayward home, I saw a lot of death. The girls who lived there were like slaves for the headmaster and if we disobeyed, we were severely punished. I couldn't keep the few friends of mine alive, so I ran away. I had lived on the streets, always running away from those who were looking for me. I was 14 when I first started taking schooling with a nurse's station in Michigan. I made a close friend who let me stay with her until I was old enough to be on my own.

The people who ran that wayward home never stopped looking for me. I was the one who got away, the one who knew the truth and the only one who was alive that could bring them to their knees. So when the opportunity arrived to volunteer for this war, I jumped at the chance to get away from those that I knew were still looking for me.

I know that I didn't tell you much about my life before I met you, but you knew that I was capable of taking care of myself and those around me. I'm sorry that I never told you the whole story, and it's taking something like this to bring it out of me.

I hope you can forgive me, and I promise that if I make it home from this war, I will sit down with you over a cup of coffee and some pie and I will tell you everything!

But for now...just know that I love you. I always have, and I hope you still love me after you get this letter.

Forever yours,

Emmeline

Now that we had Fox Company, who joined us shortly after we finished burying the dead, we would begin to make our trek together towards Saint Come du Mont. The march wouldn't be so long as it had been to get to Vierville, and now that we had a full other company with us, we weren't expecting any resistance.

We walked into the square of Saint Come du Mont by late afternoon. Lieutenant Welsh ordered all of us, "Get some rest now! We'll be heading out soon!"

The men sat down on the steps of buildings and some by the monument that sat in the center of the square.

I watched as more men appeared in the square from their solo trek to the nearest town, and were happy to see familiar faces. I scanned each one of them, hoping to see Webster.

A familiar voice behind me asked, "Looking for someone?"

"I'll find you."

I turned around and saw a smiling Webster standing there. He took his helmet off and placed it under his arm, waiting for me to respond.

My heart was beating so fast and I could feel the tears of happiness flooding my eyes as I raced over to him. When I reached him, I jumped into his arms, embracing him hard.

I heard the sound of his helmet crashing to the ground as he returned the embrace. He held me tight as he asked, "Are you all right?"

I replied, "I was so worried about you! I thought about you every day, hoping that you were okay! I watched the star you showed me, Polaris, at night and prayed you'd find me like you promised!"

Webster released me to look into my eyes. He chuckled, "I'm okay, Em. I'm so glad that you're still alive!"

I asked, "What happened to you?"

He replied, "Well, I landed alone in some of the flooded fields just behind Utah Beach and met up with some of the men from the 82nd. We worked together to try and find our way to a unit."

I thought about where I had landed, and realized that it could have been in the same vicinity as Webster, but there was no way of saying for sure. I still had my rescuer and I still managed to get to my destination, whereas Webster hadn't.

Webster must have seen my thoughts running through my mind as he asked, "Shall we join the rest of the men?"

I picked up his helmet and nodded. "Sure. Here you go."

He took his helmet from me and started towards the men, who were busy showing off their souvenirs.

I felt a little uncomfortable as we waited for orders. I scanned the area, wondering who else would be joining our group, but it was just Fox Company and us.

It wasn't long after that Lieutenant Welsh came outside of the building Battalion had set up and shouted, "Easy Company! Gather around!"

The men slowly made their way over to where a frazzled looking Welsh stood. He stated, "It's going to be dark soon. I want light and noise discipline. That means no talking, no smoking and no grabbing fanny with the man in front of you, Luz!"

Someone asked, "What's the plan, Lieutenant?"

Welsh replied, "We're taking Carentan. Companies F and D will be joining us."

"That sounds like fun!" someone in the back joked.

With the mention of Dog Company joining us, my breath grew unsteady. I knew the reason was because of Lieutenant Speirs. I bit my lip thinking about possibly having to deal with him so soon.

Hoobler walked in front of our group and stated, "Lieutenant...I'll be point."

Welsh acknowledged this and ordered us to follow.


	33. Rigor Mortis

The plan should have been easy for each Company, but for some reason the training from officers in the other Companies were lacking for night training.

We continually lost track of Fox Company. They were leading the march through the marshes and swamps, and each time they would hit a rough patch in the path, they'd take a while getting through. Once they were through, they hauled tail as fast as they could away from that position, clearly ignoring the fact that the rest of us still had to get through it.

When we cleared the marsh and it's bordering hedges, we had lost Fox Company once more. I watched as Winters looked frustrated but to his credit, he kept it together in front of all of us. He whispered something to Welsh who in turn spoke to Lipton.

Lipton slowly jogged passed all of us, ordering, "Dig in guys. Get those machine guns ready. We're going to be here for a while until we can track down F Company."

Some of the men groaned. Sisk murmured, "Again?"

It didn't take us very long to get situated. As we waited, Lipton sat next to me, Gordon and Christenson. Within moments of him sitting next to us, a nearby German MG 42 began shooting a few feet above our heads, causing every one of us to lower our bodies to the ground.

Lipton ordered, "Gordon, set up your gun facing in the direction of that gun. We may have to tell them that we're not defenseless out here."

Gordon rearranged his weapon and in the dead silence, he loaded the machine gun by pulling on the bolt twice. I cringed as the sound of the loading echoed loudly in the dead night.

Lipton scoffed, "Geez, you could hear that half a mile away!"

We waited for the next shot from the MG 42, but it never came. Lipton whispered, "Let's hope that was enough to scare them for now."

Soon, word came to us where Fox Company was waiting up ahead. So, we packed up and headed onwards. The night seemed to never end for us and the lack of sleep was beginning to impact me as well as some of the others.

We followed the path that was set for us, and eventually, our path took us to the right.

Suddenly, our lead scout Carson stopped dead in his tracks. Every man behind him stopped, some letting out a startled gasp.

I cautiously walked behind some of the men to see what was going on.

There, next to one of the trees, sat a German soldier with his rifle aimed directly at all of us.

Carson whispered, "Why doesn't he shoot and just get it over with?"

I slowly walked over to the German soldier and noticed that he wasn't moving, let alone breathing. I heard the protests from the men behind me but once I reached the man, I examined him closer.

"What is it, Nurse Banks?" Winters asked from behind me.

I turned to meet his concerned gaze. "He's dead, sir. Rigor mortis set in a while ago."

Winters looked at the dead man. "All right. Let's get moving. Fox Company is waiting for us."

I nodded and started to walk past him when he stopped me. "And Emmeline?"

I glanced up at him. "Yes?"

"Don't do that again. He could have shot you had he been alive." The order was simple but stern enough that I understood all of the emotion hidden behind the words.

I nodded. "Yes sir. Sorry."


	34. Second Chance

We finally arrived to a railroad cross roads. We would hold position here until morning when we would make the assault onto Carentan. We settled into are fortified positions with ease.

I pulled out my notebook and began writing another letter to Darla. The moon gave just enough light for me to be able to make out what I was doing.

I stopped writing when I saw Ramirez stumbling towards Tipper. The closer he got to us, the easier it was to see that he was carrying bazooka rounds. My heart stopped.

I put my notebook back into my coat pocket and watched the two of them.

Tipper hissed, "What are you doing? Put the pins back into those rounds!"

I sat up straight at the sound of that order.

Ramirez extended his arms with the armed bazookas towards Tipper. "I don't know where they are! I tossed them away!"

Tipper spat, "Well find them! You're so jittery and shaky, if you drop them now, even at that height, those rockets will blow us all up, crazy!"

Ramirez looked terrified. "I'm sorry...you said you didn't want a second wasted if we were attacked!"

"If we were attacked! We haven't been attacked yet! God! Find those pins!" Tipper ordered as he started to look around on the ground for the safety pins.

I crawled around the area helping them look. I was scared as we searched. I found one of them and whispered, "Tipper! I found one!"

Tipper crawled over to me. "Good! I've got the other one! Now we got to put them back into the rounds...So help me God, I'll kill him!"

I handed him the pin and watched as he walked back over the shaking Ramirez. Once the pins were replaced into the rockets, Tipper took the rounds away from Ramirez.

I let out a sigh of relief once Tipper gave the all clear. I sat back down and pulled out my notebook, writing to Darla about what had just happened.

As I finished scribbling into the notebook, I glanced up as I placed it back into my pocket. Across from our position, was D Company. I couldn't make out a lot of the men from where they were set up, but upon examining the silhouettes, I knew who was Speirs.

He was the only on standing up, pacing along the line. I shook my head as I recalled the rumors of Speirs. Even though people that I trusted had told me that the rumors were true, I had a small glimmer of hope that they weren't.

I looked up into the sky and saw the faint glow from Polaris as the clouds began to roll in. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes.

I felt hands on my shoulders shaking me awake. "Emmeline. Wake up!"

I blinked a few times, allowing my tired eyes to adjust to the low light. "What?"

"It's time to get up. We're moving out," Webster whispered as he stopped shaking me.

I sighed. "What time is it?"

"0530. Come on. Let's go," he whispered as he extended his hand down to me.

I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. I muttered, "I feel like I just fell asleep."

"You did," he stated as he brushed some of the dirt from me.

"I...what?" I asked, still half asleep.

He chuckled. "You did just fall asleep. I've been next to you all night."

"Oh..." I didn't remember him being next to me, but clearly he had.

Once we were up and our things picked up, we started forward down the lane towards Carentan. It was going to be a busy day, but I hoped that we would have an easy time getting into Carentan.

Webster stated, "I overheard some of the officers stating that Carentan is being held by one small unit."

"Are you sure you heard that right?" I questioned.

"Yeah, why?" he asked as we walked.

I shrugged. "I thought this town was as important to them as it was to us."

"It is," he replied.

I furrowed my brow at him. "Then why would they leave a small unit to hold it? Wouldn't they be expecting us to attack them?"

Webster shrugged. "Who knows? I was just sharing what I heard."

I nodded but said nothing more on the matter. I felt as though I might be over thinking the situation, and in the process, annoying Webster who was just trying to be friendly.

We didn't have far to walk as we had camped on the outskirts of town. When we reached the crest of the hill, Winters had ordered us to stop so he could look around.

We crouched on the road, out of sight, waiting on orders. Winters whispered to Welsh before looking down at his watch.

I watched as Welsh led the first platoon over the hill. Because I was in the back of the group, I couldn't see what was happening, but I could hear it. Within seconds of Welsh and first platoon disappearing over the hill, gunfire opened up all around us.

The bullets snapped around everyone. I lowered myself further onto the road, but suddenly felt hands grabbing me, pulling me into the ditch near the road.

I started to protest, but stopped when Webster shielded himself over me.

Muffled orders were being shouted, and I couldn't make them out. Soon enough, they were louder and clearer, as if they were above us. "Move! Get out of that ditch! We've got men getting killed! Move!"

Webster cursed under his breath as he reluctantly stood up to follow his orders.

I hesitated to get up, and Winters looked over at me, somewhat surprised to see me. "Stay down!"

I nodded, feeling my entire body shaking with fear and adrenaline. I had no idea what to do. I didn't know where to go, if I should go anywhere, but with his order to stay down, I was glad to follow.

When the bullets seemed to be gone from the road, I slowly peeked out from the ditch. I could hear a lot of gunfire and grenade explosions. I started to get up and head down into the town, when I heard protests behind me.

"Nurse Banks! You stay down!" the order came from behind me.

I stopped and glanced over my shoulder. I could see Nixon and Strayer overlooking the mission. I shouted back, "I have to do my job! I'm sorry!"

Without giving a second thought to their protests, I continued down the road. With each step that I took, I could see the bodies on the road. I knew they were dead just by looking at them. I wanted to stop and look them over, take their dog tags for my book, but I knew that I was in the open. Even though the fighting seemed to be focused solely in the town, I didn't want to risk it, so I kept moving.

I rounded the corner to the right and continued into town. The ground shook under me, causing me to stop and brace myself on a nearby building.

"They got us zeroed! Get out of the street!" Lipton's voice echoed.

My heart raced to the point that the bile in my stomach was slowly making it's way up my throat. I forced it to stay down as I continued forward. I took a step forward and saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I froze, quickly looking over to see what caught my attention.

Huddled in the corner of the street against the building was Blithe. I cautiously approached him. "Albert?"

"Emmeline? Is that you?" he asked, eyes wide.

I bent down in front of him. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

He didn't look at me. "I can't see! Oh God! I can't see!"

"Okay, calm down! Let's get you out of here," I cooed.

"I can't see!" he shouted again.

I reached out for his hands but he pulled away from me. "Blithe...I need you to work with me. You need to calm down!"

"I can't see, Emmeline!" he shouted at me again.

I sighed and slapped his cheek a few times. "I know! I heard you the first time! Let's get you to the doc!"

He stopped shouting about his lack of vision long enough for me to help him up. He cried, "Why can't I see?"

I started to help him walk away from the area. "I don't know."

We didn't make it very far when the ground shook so violently that it threw us to the road. Landing hard on my stomach, all of the wind in my lungs escaped and I felt my helmet fall off. When the ground stopped shaking, I propped myself onto my elbows and quickly glanced about the area. I could see several German troopers running behind buildings and in alleys.

I swallowed, praying that they weren't going to attack us.

I heard soft cries coming from next to me. I looked over at Blithe. "Are you okay?"

He sniffled and nodded, not saying a word.

I pushed myself off of the ground and bent next to him. "Come on, Albert! I need you to work with me! The enemy is moving in! I need you to get up!"

Blithe surprised me by cooperating with me. He stood up and I tossed his arm over my shoulder as we started to make a run for a safe spot.

We rounded the corner and stopped dead in our tracks. Standing before us, clearly startled by our sudden appearance was a German trooper. He stared at the two of us, aiming his weapon at us.

The German looked me over a couple of times as he approached us. I muttered to Blithe, "Stay quiet, Albert. Okay?"

The German stood in front of us and looked at the dazed Blithe before turning his stunned blue eyes onto me. I swallowed, holding my breath. He reached out for me and held my blonde hair.

He fiddled with my hair for a while before meeting my gaze. Suddenly he glanced down at my pack. He raised an eyebrow at the medic insignia before returning his eyes to me.

My heart raced as he stood over me. I held his gaze, unsure of what else to do. He finally stepped aside for us to continue onwards.

As I passed by him, I bit my lip and whispered, "Danke."

When we passed by him, I released a heavy sigh. Blithe asked, "What happened?"

"We've been given a second chance, Albert," I stated.

"We were stopped, weren't we?" he asked.

I whispered, "Yeah."

We continued towards the back line in silence.


	35. The Aftermath

By the time we reached the back line outside of Carentan, there was a med station set up for our wounded. I helped Blithe sit down and asked, "Where do you need me?"

Roe looked over at me. "Do you mind sitting with Tipper?"

"Tipper?" I asked. I hoped he was okay.

Roe nodded and pointed. "He's back there. Make sure he doesn't try to stand up. He keeps saying he can walk, but...well, you'll see when you get back there."

"Okay," I replied as I turned to head to the back corner.

When I arrived to the corner of the room, I spied Tipper lying on a cot. He looked to be in pretty bad shape. Both of his legs were broken and he had a massive head injury.

I knelt down next to his cot. "Hey Tip. How are you feeling?"

He replied shakily, "I'm fine. I want to go back out there!"

"I know you do, Tip...but you're not yourself," I stated.

"That's what they keep telling me, but no one will tell me how bad it is," he replied.

I swallowed and said, "Well, you have two broken legs and you've got a pretty nasty looking wound on your head."

He blinked as he stared up at the ceiling. "I can't go out like this!"

"You're not going anywhere. You'll be back in no time," I replied.

"You're not just saying that are you?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Of course not. You'll be back, but you need to heal up first. We can't have you crawling around on your stomach trying to fire your bazooka at the Germans!"

He laughed. "I could do it!"

"I bet you could, but I'd rather you didn't!" I smiled at him.

"Hey Em?" he asked.

"Yeah Tip?" I replied.

He asked, "What do you think is going to happen now?"

"You mean after this?" I questioned.

"Yeah. I just want to know what I'll be missing," he stated.

I chuckled before replying, "I'm not sure, Tip. I think we'll be heading out again. I overheard someone saying something about a counterattack...it could be what's going to happen next."

He sighed. "I wish I could help."

I didn't say anything. I stood up from the cot and looked around the med station. We had ten men including Winters inside the station getting treatment. It wasn't long before Jeeps were arriving to take the wounded back to Utah beach for extraction.

When Tipper was taken, I headed back to the front of the room. Blithe had since gotten up and left. I asked Roe, "What happened with Blithe?"

"He blacked out. He says he's fine now," he replied.

I nodded slowly. Seemed simple enough, but something just seemed off, but I didn't say anything. Instead, I headed outside to see how the rest of the men were.


	36. Beginning of the Storm

Outside, things seemed calm as though no battle had taken place. As I took a step around the corner of the med station, I bumped into Strayer and Nixon. "Oh! I'm so sorry, sir!"

"It's all right, Nurse Banks. Just be more aware of your surroundings," Strayer stated as he brushed passed me and into the med station. Nixon smiled at me as he walked passed me as well.

I watched them enter the building as I stepped backwards away from them. As I stepped backwards, I felt my footing slip and firm hands grab my elbows.

I gasped as I was steadied. "I'm sorry! I'm such a klutz today!"

"You should be more careful," the voice breathed on my neck.

My eyes widened by the sound of the familiar husky voice from behind me. When the hands released me, I turned to face him.

I stood face to face with Speirs. My eyes examined his for the emotion behind his words. I found nothing. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't see you."

"Hard to see someone when you're walking backwards," he stated with a small smirk.

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry."

He glanced down at my lip. When I stopped biting on it, he smiled. Flustered, I quickly brushed passed him. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

As I walked away from him, I quickly snuck in a glance over my shoulder. He was turning away from me and walking into the med station. I returned my gaze back in front of me and approached the rest of my unit.

I sat down next to Webster. "Glad you're okay."

He nodded. "You too."

I didn't say much after that. I didn't know what to say. I was still so lost in thought with having to take care of Blithe and Tipper, not to mention my run in with Speirs.

It wasn't long before all of the officers, including Winters exited the med station. I watched as Speirs headed off in the opposite direction towards his men, while everyone else headed towards us.

We had a new mission and it was to secure Carentan's outskirts from a counterattack that was possibly incoming as we were informed of it. We stood up and began to make our way to the fields nearby.

As we walked through the open fields that lay on the outskirts of Carentan, it began to drizzle. I gazed up into the clouds and realized that this was only the beginning of the storm. The clouds were growing darker with each passing moment and it was only a matter of time before we were caught in a nasty storm.

Webster broke my thoughts. "What are you thinking about, Em?"

I inhaled as I glanced over at him. "What?"

"You've been pretty quiet since Carentan. Everything okay?" he questioned.

I shrugged. "I think so."

He gave me that 'I don't believe you' look, but didn't push me any further. Instead he started to change topics. "I like this kind of weather. I don't know what it is, but I just love the rain."

I was about to say something witty about the rain, but I never got the chance. Out of nowhere, gunfire was being fired in our direction. Several men had been hit. My mouth fell open as I witnessed the deaths of those men.

Webster had grabbed my arm and pulled me to the wet ground next to him. He shouted over the gunfire and sudden thunder, "Stay down! Come on, follow me!"

I crawled carefully through the weeds next to Webster as we made our approach to a nearby hedgerow. Peering quickly through the brush, I could see the enemy had set up a position across from us. I knew that we would be here for a while.


	37. On Edge

The storm had gotten worse. The rain soaked into our uniforms and I felt chilled to the bone. I shivered as I tried to get some sleep. It was tough to try and sleep as I was on edge. Each time someone on our end moved, the Germans fired at us. I was afraid that I would shiver too much and would draw their fire.

At one point during the early evening, the Germans were taunting us, screaming and firing their weapons. It made every one of us anxious and on edge. I'm pretty sure that the heavy rainfall didn't help the mood either.

I pulled my rain soaked coat closer to me, shivering slightly. I peered through the brush to see the enemy line. I couldn't see any movement, but I could hear them. They were singing and laughing. I tore my eyes away from their line and looked over my shoulder. Webster was climbing back into the foxhole we were sharing.

He sighed as he slumped onto the wet ground next to me. "How are you holding up, Em?"

I sniffled. "I'm okay."

"Why don't you try to get some sleep?" he suggested.

I replied, "I don't think I can even if I tried. I think I need to stretch my legs a little, to be honest."

He nodded. "Okay, but don't go too far. Everyone's a little tense."

I nodded in agreement. "I won't be gone long."

He smiled as I started to crawl out of the foxhole we shared.

With each step that I took, I could feel the ground shift from under me. The mud created a slippery surface and a slight suction that made moving about difficult.

A noise in the distance caused me to stop dead in my tracks. I concentrated on the sound. It suddenly dawned on me what the sound was. When the cry for a medic came, it only confirmed my thoughts.

I swallowed as I took a step forward. The mud had encased my foot and I tripped. I let out a startled shriek as I plunged into the mud.

I groaned at myself as I started to sit up. Not only was I soaked to the bone, but now the front side of me was covered in mud. I struggled to stand up on my own. As I was kneeling up, I felt hands grabbing my upper arms roughly. I felt myself being lifted out of the mud and set onto my own feet.

Without warning, I was whirled around to face the individual who was helping me. When my startled eyes met those familiar dark ones of Speirs, I froze.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

I bit my lip before stammering, "I-I fell-"

"Clearly, but what are you doing wandering about the line? Didn't you learn the last time?" he asked, still holding onto me.

I blinked at him. "I-I couldn't sleep...I was just-"

"Just what, Nurse Banks?" he asked as he bore his gaze into my soul.

I stared at him for a moment before thinking that I might be able to change the course of the conversation off of me and to something else. "Who was hit?"

"No one was hit," he stated.

"Who needs the medic?" I questioned.

He explained, "Sergeant Talbert was involved in an accident."

"What kind of accident?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. I was growing tired of his evasiveness.

He replied, "One of your privates bayoneted him."

"What?!" I gasped as I tried to make my move over to where they were.

Speirs held me firmly in place. "They have all the help they need."

I tried to back out of his reach, but the mud proved to be difficult as I slipped slightly again. Speirs steadied me.

"You should be sitting in your cover, Nurse Banks. I will escort you back, but you need to stay there," he ordered.

"If I'm needed-" I started.

"You'll stay put as I've ordered. Do I make myself clear?" he asked as he started to pull me further away from the line.

I had no choice but to follow him. "I have a job to do, Lieutenant, just as you have a job to do. I don't tell you how to perform your duties-"

"I also don't do foolish things in order to accomplish my job, Nurse Banks," he stated gruffly.

We stopped in front of a foxhole towards the back of the line and near Dog Company. I looked up at him as he released my arm. He stated, "Get comfortable, Nurse Banks. You're going to be here for a while."

"Why am I to be in this foxhole? I was over there with Webster," I stated as I motioned to where I was before.

At the mention of Webster's name, Speirs grew rigid. He explained, "You're out of the direct line of fire should something happen. Now, get in."

I studied his stern face before accepting my fate of being bullied by the man. Once I was standing in the foxhole, he furrowed his brow at me, almost disapprovingly. I asked, "What now?"  
"Stay down, Nurse Banks. I'd rather you weren't in direct line of sight for the Krauts to shoot and I don't want to order you to stay down again," he said simply before he walked away from me.

I sighed as I sat down into the foxhole. I crossed my arms over my chest as I sat there alone. I tried to understand why I was so far away from the rest of my men, why I was so close to Dog Company, and why Webster threatened him so much.

I wanted to write to Darla and tell her everything that had just transpired, but I knew that the letter wouldn't survive the rain. I would just have to remember to do it later.


	38. Frontline

I woke up to the sounds of men laughing and talking. I opened my eyes reluctantly, blinking to focus on the early morning light. The heavy rain had stopped sometime during the night and it was starting to warm up.

I sighed as I could feel just how exhausted I was. I knew that I hadn't slept well the past few nights and I knew that I had just fallen asleep. I sat up in the foxhole that I was in and yawned.

I concentrated on the voices and realized that none of them sounded familiar. I started to panic when I remembered that Lieutenant Speirs had me reposition myself closer to Dog Company and towards the back of my own Company.

One of the D Company men looked down at me as he was walking back to his position and asked, "So, what did you do to piss him off?"

I furrowed my brow as I met the man's gaze. "Excuse me?"

"What'd you say to Lieutenant Speirs last night?" the man questioned.

"I don't understand what you're asking..." I stated.

The soldier explained, "He's been tougher on all of us since he put you there last night. What did you do to him?"

I shook my head. "I don't know..."

Before the man could ask any more questions, we were being attacked by the Germans who were across the way.

Bullets snapped overhead, breaking branches and ricocheting off the trees.

I sank further into my cover as I could hear the men returning fire.

I heard someone from D Company shout nearby, "Tanks!"

No sooner was the word shouted across the line, did the sound of the blast echo overhead. I squeezed my eyes shut as I prayed to live through this attack.

This was the first time we had been attacked by tanks and I was terrified. I could feel my heart beating hard into my ribcage and I was shaking from fear.

My heart lurched into my throat when I heard a cry above me. The pained screams where recognizable. I knew instantly that someone was hit and from the sounds of it, it was bad.

I forced myself up onto my feet and scrambled out of the cover I was ordered to stay in and was greeted by members of Dog Company. They looked shocked to see me above the cover that was hidden from sight.

I shouted over the noise, crouched over to make sure that I was a smaller target, "Who's hit?"

They blinked away their surprised and motioned for me to follow. The soldier who was drilling me with questions earlier explained, "Our medic was hit! He's here!"

I crouched over the medic and set to work. The kid had taken a gash to the neck near the jaw and he had several bleeding wounds on his face, not to mention the debris that was lodged in his thighs from the explosions.

I asked, "What happened?"

"Grenade, most likely!" the soldier replied with a shrug as he headed back to the line to return fire.

I inhaled sharply as I began to work on the kid. My hands were shaking as I quickly put bandages on his neck.

Another voice shouted, "Where the hell are they going?!"

I glanced up and looked at the scared faces of those around me. Looking over my shoulder, I could barely make out the silhouettes of F Company on our right flank retreating. My mouth went dry as I feared what could happen with them no longer beside us.

The men from D Company began to return fire but suddenly a shout rang out, "Incoming! Get down!"

I threw myself over the medic I was working on just as a shell from the tank blew through our cover. My ears were ringing from the blast.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I remained frozen over the kid. I heard muffled cries around me shouting orders, but I couldn't make out what was being said.

I finally opened my eyes as I witnessed the men retreating as quickly as they could. My heart raced as I started to wonder what was going to happen to Easy.

Another shell came crashing through the cover we were in. The tank's rounds were chasing D Company as they ran away. The second shell landed nearby, causing me to be blown back a little.

I landed on my back with all of my air escaping my lungs. I coughed as I could smell the smoke from the explosions around me. I opened my eyes and held onto my helmet as I scrambled back to the kid I was working on.

I reached out for him and grabbed his hand. He was crying as I started to drag him towards the hidden foxhole I was put in the night before.

When I neared it, I heard happy cheers coming from Easy's position. Once I pulled the wounded man into the foxhole with me, I quickly peeked out to see what was going on.

I could spot 2nd Armored pulling into view. The Germans were shouting in a panicked manner as they started to retreat from their spots. I watched as 2nd Armored returned the heavy fire with their sixty tanks against the enemy's paltry armor.

I kneeled next to the wounded kid and asked, "Are you okay?"

He moaned as he nodded.

I kept working on him. "I'm sorry about dragging you in here. I'm sure that wasn't very comfortable."

I knew that he couldn't reply, so I kept talking. "You're most likely going home. You've got some pretty bad wounds."

I heard footsteps approaching the foxhole. I glanced up as I saw a figure looming above us.

Winters looked down at me. "Emmeline? Are you all right?"  
I nodded. "I am, but he needs a hand."

Winters hopped down into the foxhole next to us. He looked the kid over and asked, "What can I do?"

I swallowed as I asked, "Would you help me get him out of here? He's probably going to be homebound."

Winters nodded as he helped me get the kid out of the foxhole. Once we got him out of the cover, we were greeted by a few men from Dog Company. They took him from us and helped him off the line.

I looked around me and saw the destruction the tanks did. I blinked at the scene. Trees were obliterated and parts of the ground were still smoking from where the shells landed. I realized how incredibly lucky I had been to have survived the heat of the battle as I observed the area I was in with the wounded medic.

As I stood there, taking in the close call that I had come into, I heard another set of footsteps approaching. "Lieutenant Winters."

"Ah, Lieutenant Speirs," he replied.

My heart stopped as I was suddenly afraid to turn around.

"Thank you for sticking around," Winters jested.

I finally willed myself to turn around and face the man. When I did, Speirs wasn't looking at me or acknowledging that I was standing there.

Speirs stated, "I'm sorry that my men took off. I know that Battalion gave them hell, but they have no idea what's coming from me. They should never have retreated like that without just cause."

I bit my lip. The men were scared to death of getting killed by the tank's fire, so in their mind, they had just cause to pull back, and it didn't help that F Company left them hanging.

Winters nodded. "I've heard that both Fox and Dog Companies were given a stern lecture about what happened."

Speirs replied, "Like I've said. They don't realize what is in store for them next."

"Just go easy on them, Ron," Winters said as he patted Speirs on the shoulder before taking his leave.

I shifted uncomfortably in my place. I was afraid to move or say anything, as I wasn't sure if Speirs would say something should I do either. He made me nervous.

He turned his gaze onto me. "How's our medic, Nurse Banks?"

I bit my lip again. "He might be heading home."

He looked at my lips. "Thank you for taking care of my men."

I met his gaze and replied, "You're welcome."

Speirs stepped up to me, closing the gap. "You're lucky you weren't killed today."

I swallowed nervously as I took a step back away from him. "I did my job, Lieutenant."

He followed in suit and stated, "You were reckless."

I took another step back but felt nothing behind me. My heart stopped as I feared falling into a hole. Speirs grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward, stopping my fall.

Due to the pull, I crashed into him. I tried to push away from him, but he held me against him. He spoke softly, "You need to be more aware of your surroundings and stop being so reckless."

He finally released me and walked away from me. I stood there watching him head back to his men. I blinked away the moment and realized that there was nothing more to say or do.

As far as I was concerned, I had done my job and I would continue to do so, regardless of what he told me to do.

I headed towards my Company. I noticed a lot of men were missing. I spied Roe standing off to the side and walked up to him. "Hey Doc. Where is everyone?"

"We had a lot of wounded. They're back at the aide station," he stated. He looked me over and asked, "Where've you been? You okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I was over at Dog Company's line when the attack happened."

Roe nodded as he recalled, "That's right. I heard about their medic. They're lucky you were over there to help out."

I smiled warmly at him as I took my leave from him. I looked around and saw a smiling Webster approaching me.

"There you are! What happened to you? I was worried!" he stated.

I replied, "I'm sorry I worried you. I'm fine."

Webster began to talk to me about our orders to head back to Carentan for rest when I caught a glimpse of Speirs eyeing me from across the field. I could see him grow rigid again and wondered if it had something to do with Webster.

I asked, "Hey Web? What do you think of Lieutenant Speirs?"

"Speirs? I don't know...I haven't thought about him. Why?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Just wondering. Some of the men are scared of him, and some are on his bad side...I was just curious as to what you thought."

"I've heard some things about him, but I've never really talked to him," Webster explained.

I nodded as I continued to walk with him towards the rest of the men. I sighed as I tried to listen to what Webster had to say regarding his view of this battle, but I wasn't interested in hearing his thoughts. Instead, I kept playing back the night and day that just happened and everything that transpired between me and Speirs. Nothing ever made any sense when that man was involved.


	39. Confrontations

Back in Carentan, the locals had opened up their stores and barber shops, which the men were excited about. I found a nice spot alone in the courtyard and pulled out my notebook to Darla. I pulled my pencil out and started to write her a letter.

I glanced up as I saw Fox and Dog Companies entering town. I watched as they started to disperse into the town, just as Easy had done moments before.

As I started to tell Darla in the letter about the night that I had, I mentioned Speirs and his behavior, especially towards Webster's name. I finished up my letter and left it in the notebook.

"How are you holding up, Emmeline?" a voice spoke to me.

I turned my attention over to my left. Standing next to me was Harry Welsh. I smiled kindly up at him. "I'm fine, thank you for asking."

He smiled back at me and asked, "Writing a letter to Darla?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to get it to her."

"How have you been getting them to her in the past?" he asked.

I replied, "I've sent them back with our wounded, but I missed that chance a long time ago."

"You miss her, don't you?" he stated.

I nodded. "More than you know."

He chuckled. "I think I know what you're saying."

I smiled as he walked past me to check on the rest of the men. I put my notebook back into my coat pocket when another voice spoke to me. "Nurse Banks."

My breath hitched as I slowly turned to see Speirs standing where Welsh was a moment ago.

"What can I do for you, Lieutenant?" I asked cautiously.

Speirs stepped closer to me as I started to stand up. He stated, "I'm checking up on the men."

"Really? Lieutenant Welsh just did that," I stated.

He never removed his brooding eyes from me. "And?"

"I'm fine? Thank you for asking?" I started to walk away from him.

He followed. "What is it that you write about?"

I glanced up at him. "What?"

He repeated himself, "What do you write about, Nurse Banks?"

"Letters mostly-" I was interrupted.

"Yes, I figured as much, but what's in your letters?" he questioned.

I furrowed my brow at him. "Why do you want to know?"

"You have this thing you do when you write your letters, to Darla, I assume?" he said.

I stopped walking and looked at him. "What is it that I do?"  
He suppressed his smile. "You purse your lips together, almost as if you're thinking too hard."

"I do not," I stated.

He raised an eyebrow in amusement.

I retorted, "You made that up!"

He inhaled deeply before asking, "What's going on with you and Webster?"

I was take aback by the sudden change in topics. "What?"

He didn't repeat his question this time. Instead, he started to walk away from me. I followed.

"What is your problem with him?" I demanded.

He turned his dark eyes onto me. "You're upset."

"I'm getting there, sure! Why do you hate him?" I asked.

He chuckled. "I don't hate him."

"You're the most...the most..." I was losing my words.

Speirs stopped to look at me directly. "The most what?"

"You're the most exasperating man I've ever met!" I stated with balled fists.

"You naive, Nurse Banks. You may think that, but you don't know me," he stated as he began to walk away from me again.

I charged after him. "Why do you tease me? Why do you tell me that you don't harass me, when you clearly do?"

He turned to face me suddenly, causing me to bump into him. He glared down at me, holding my gaze. "Have you ever thought that I do what I do to toughen you up?"

"Toughen me up? Is that what you're doing?" I whispered.

He studied my face. "If you're to survive this war, you need all the help you can get."

"If I recall, I managed to survive D-Day," I started.

He interrupted me, "I still had to save you. Just as I've done before."

I swallowed. "I stayed in combat when your men ran away."

He gave me a disappointed look. "Which was reckless and stupid."

I bit my lip before admitting, "I had another run in with a German solider...He was standing as close as you are to me now, but he let me go. Maybe I'm not so helpless after all."

I didn't give him a chance to reply to that remark. I turned away from him and walked away as quickly as I could. I knew that my last statement would get under his skin, and I was afraid he would come after me, but thankfully, he didn't.


	40. Untimely Orders

The next morning, we headed out of Carentan. I was happy to be moving again, but I think the motivating reason I was happy to be moving away from town was to put as much space between me and Speirs.

We settled into an area a few miles away from town. We had been informed about a possible location where Germans had been staying under the wire, waiting for us to leave the area. Winters had asked that volunteers be sent to scout what the resistance there was going to be.

Lieutenant Welsh, Nixon and a platoon of our men headed out to the objective, while the rest of us waited with Winters.

We sat silently waiting. Webster whispered, "What was going on between you and Lieutenant Speirs?"

"When?" I asked, trying to play aloof.

Webster recalled, "Last night. It seemed like you two were arguing."

"Did we?" I asked.

Webster nodded. "Yeah, you stormed away from him like you were angry or something."

I shrugged. "I don't recall."

Webster finally took the hint that I wasn't going to talk about it and finally stopped asking me questions.

I looked over to see that a few others from my Company were giving me concerned glances as well. I wondered if they had seen what Webster had.

Just as I thought about asking, we heard the panicked shouts, "Medic!"

My mouth opened as I started to stand up. Winters turned to Roe and ordered, "Roe, they need you!"

I met Winters's eyes and waited for him to let me go, but he shook his head. I shifted uncomfortably in my spot. I didn't like sitting in place when I knew that someone needed help.

A soldier came up to Winters and said, "Sir? We've received word. They're pulling you off the line."

"Now?" he asked.

"Yes sir. You're to head out now," the man replied.

Winters nodded as he took in the untimely order. He turned to all of us and scanned the worried looks.

Winters ordered, "Sit tight. I'll be right back."

He headed towards the scouts with a couple of men following him while the rest of us sat there waiting.

"Who do you think got hit?" someone asked. I scanned the group of men hoping to see who had asked such a question.

"What does it matter? We're getting pulled," someone else stated.

I felt sick to my stomach by the things that were being said. In my mind, it didn't matter who was hit. That was a friend of ours out there, in pain and possibly dying. I sighed as I turned away from the men.

It wasn't a long wait until Winters returned with the same men who left with him, and Harry had joined them. He looked agitated.

I swallowed as we heard the new order. "Move out, Easy."

We started to stand up and I stood on shaky legs. I waited until Harry was near and walked with him.  
"What happened?" I asked carefully.

He was shaking, from fear or anger, I had a hard time guessing. He replied, "Sniper."

I nodded as I understood the situation with just one word. I bit my lip as I asked in barely a whisper, "Who..."

"Blithe," he replied quickly. He looked up at me and said, "I didn't know what to do, Emmeline. If I had just waited a little while longer, he'd be okay."

"It's not your fault," I cooed.

He gave me that look that said he didn't believe me. I replied, "It's not."

He smirked. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't think now is a good time for false statements, Em."

"It's the truth!" I stated firmly.

He patted my shoulder. "Thanks anyways."

I stood there as I watched him walk away from me, clearly upset with everything that happened.


	41. Letters & Lists

We were off the line for a few days. It was required as we had gotten some much needed sleep, showers and food. It was a quiet rest, as no one really wanted to talk to anyone. We were just there.

I sat outside by myself, taking in the morning glow when a young Private came up to me. He asked, "Are you Nurse Banks?"

I smirked at the question. I didn't see any other field nurses around, but instead I nodded.

He extended an envelope to me. "I was ordered to deliver this to you."

I took it from him and saw the name on the envelope. It was from Darla. My heart began to pick up speed as I was growing anxious to read it.

I suddenly remembered the letter that I wrote and saved. I looked up at the departing Private. "Wait a moment!"

He turned back to me. "You need something?"

I asked, "Would you mind getting a letter back for me?"

"I can get it to the right people for sending, sure," he replied as he walked back to me.

I pulled out my notebook and pulled the pages out. I folded them and passed them over to him. "Thank you so very much!"

He smiled at me. "Of course! You're very welcome!"

I watched as he walked away from me, taking my letter with him. I glanced back down at the letter that he gave me. A smile brushed my lips as I grew excited to hear from Darla.

I sat back down on the steps of the building I was sleeping in and opened the envelope. I removed the papers and unfolded them to start reading them.

Dearest Emmeline,

I still love you, just as I have always loved you. I consider you my sister, my best friend and I will never stop loving you, no matter your past, no matter your present, and no matter your future. I look forward to having you return to me and I look forward to that coffee and pie when you return. Just make sure that you return to me! I will not badger you about what happened to you in your past as I am sure what you have shared with me must have been incredibly difficult to do so. I will wait until you are ready, and until then, no more will be said about it. Promise.

I am very sorry to hear about Thomas. He seemed like such a sweet soul, and even though death is nothing new for you, it is never easy to see someone die, especially in your arms. I have also experienced this several times with the men who have been evacuated back here. Some have recovered but there are several who have not made it. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have had to play the role of the dying's mothers, wives, sisters, lovers...it breaks my heart!

I have heard from all of the girls. Charlotte says that the officers at Battalion are treating her well. She says it is rather dull as she has nothing to do but write to me. I should take it personally, but I am glad to hear from her. She thinks of all of us often, and asks me in every letter if I have heard from any of you. She will be happy with my latest letter, I suspect.

Anne survived D-Day, just as you have, but didn't come out of it unscathed. I actually got to see her for a couple of days when she was evacuated back here. Upon storming the beaches, she stopped to help a man and took a bullet to her hand. She is missing her left ring and pinky fingers. She's okay other than that. She cried the first couple of days, but was very thankful that it wasn't worse than it was. I had to remind her that singing didn't require all of her fingers and she laughed.

Sarah said that she has seen you! She told me that you instructed her to write to me! Why does it seem that no one wants to talk to me? I jest, of course! She complains about how she is never told anything and the men treat her as a nuisance, but I have to remind her that she has a job to do and try to keep out of the way if they are busy. Sarah was always the one who wasn't aware of her surroundings. I just hope that by some miracle she survives!

As for you, I cannot begin to tell you how much your letters scare me! Everything you've been through scares me! I start to cry, and I don't want you to stop telling me everything that is going on with you, but I worry for you! I'm confident that you'll survive and use your head! You're strong and a fighter, but when you told me about your jump and the enemy taking you...my heart had stopped! Thank God for Lieutenant Speirs! I never thought I would say those words, but I did thank God for that man!

Have you found Webster? What else has been happening with you over there? Are you still safe and well? I pray every day that you are doing well! I miss you so very much, Emmeline!

I have to go! There are more wounded being brought in! I will try and write to you again soon! I love you!

Darla

I stared at the letter in my hands. I brushed my tears away from my face as they started to run down my cheeks. All of the girls were still alive and aside from Anne's missing fingers, we were all sound.

I scanned the letter again and realized that I hadn't mention in any of my latest letters that Webster was alive and with me again. I had been so preoccupied with telling her the things that have been happening with me and then asking her opinions on Speirs. I knew that I mentioned Webster in my latest letter, so I knew that she would see that he was okay, but I felt silly for not mentioning it earlier.

I pulled my notebooks from my coat pocket and placed the letter into my notebook that I used for letters. I returned that one back to my pocket and opened the other.

I sighed sadly as I saw the names on the list. It had grown in length as each day passed by. The first name on my list was Thomas Palmer's. After his, was a long list of men that were from my Company. We had taken so many casualties since D-Day, I wondered if it was as bad for other Companies as it was for us.


	42. Replacements

The last night away from the line was uncomfortable for me. I couldn't get myself to sleep, so I got up and sat outside of my housing. I stared up at the stars. They were brightly shining in the black sky.

I was growing anxious. I knew in a few hours we would be heading back to the front. It was difficult to believe that I had survived this long and I wasn't looking forward to heading back.

I had overheard several men talking about their excitement to return to the lines. They made their feelings clear. They had Germans to kill and they felt they could do it better now that they were fully rested. I hated hearing things like that.

I couldn't understand completely why this was something to strive for. Yes, we were at war, but I couldn't believe that every single man fighting for the other side was a bad person. They were following orders, whether they were as bad as Hitler or not, I couldn't hold it against every single one of them. I had to kill a kid younger than me, who most likely had no idea what he was doing, aside from fighting for his country. I recalled the man who let me by after seeing that I was a nurse. He didn't kill me or Blithe, even though he could have easily done so.

I shook the memories from my mind. I sighed as I looked back into the sky to watch the stars. I caught a glimpse of a shooting star fading across the horizon.

"You're supposed to make a wish on those," a voice stated from the shadows near me.

I quickly glanced over my right shoulder to see who was speaking to me.

Emerging from the shadows, Winters approached me. He smiled as he stood near me. "How are you holding up, Emmeline?"

I smiled as I replied, "I'm all right, sir. Thank you for asking."

"Can't sleep?" he asked.

"Not really, sir. Guess I just have a lot on my mind," I replied.

He asked, "Would it help to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "Not particularly."

He nodded as he let the matter go. He glanced up into the sky again. "Beautiful night."

I looked back at the stars. "Very much so, sir."

He turned back to me, smiling warmly. "Don't stay up too late, Emmeline. We've got a big day tomorrow."

"Yes sir," I said. He took his leave from me as I sat there, still thinking and watching the night sky.

The next morning, we assembled together in the court yard, awaiting our return to the line. We found out early that morning that we would be getting new replacements for the men we had lost. I thought about the long list of names that were scribbled in my notebook. We were also informed that we were one of the few units to suffer the most in casualties.

The new replacements came out and marched over to us. They were young, too young, to be here. I bit my lip as I looked over all of them.

They were smiling, they were excited and they started to size up the men as they stood across from us. I worried about how things would progress now that we were getting new men into our tight-knit group.

I overheard someone whisper, "Who the hell are these kids? They look like they just got off their mama's tits."

I glanced over my shoulder to see who had said such a thing, when another voice replied, "Hey now, that's not a nice thing to say, especially in front of a lady!"

"What lady? You mean, Emmeline? She's one of us," the first voice retorted.

I shook my head as I sighed heavily. I was suddenly uncomfortable. I remembered Webster explaining to me that one night about how the men felt that I was their sister. I feared that he was right, and this moment just confirmed everything.

I walked away from the spot that I was standing in and joined the back of the line.

The replacements fell in behind the experienced men and marched together, talking about the men they wanted to become.

"Hey, you're a girl!" one of them announced.

I bit my lip, holding in the urge to roll my eyes.

The kid didn't let up. "What are you doing here?"

I looked over at him and replied, "I'm your field nurse."

"Field nurse? Hey boy-os, did you hear this? We got ourselves a nurse!" he laughed as he explained it to his friends following.

I suddenly wished that I hadn't left my spot to come to the back of the group. I shook my head as the comments didn't let up.

Webster had shown up out of the blue. "Hey, you better watch what you say about her! If she's the closest one to you, you might be passed up for someone who shows more respect!"

The kid's smirk and jokes disappeared. He looked embarrassed once Webster had put him in his place.

I looked up at him. "Thank you, David."

He smiled down at me. "My pleasure. I can't stand seeing you upset."

I bit my lip as the walk became a quiet and awkward one.


	43. Mystery

The never ending walk to our station for the night finally was over. We headed to our respected barracks and waited for the award ceremony that was going to happen that night. After the jump during D-Day and for the actions Easy was involved in at Brecourt and Carentan, Colonel Sink and General Bradley were expecting all of us to show so they could award certain members medals for their bravery.

I stepped into my barracks and looked around. It was the same size that I had with the girls before being shipped out. I suddenly felt the pangs of loneliness as I stared at the empty cots that filled the room.

I set the few belongings that I had with me down on my cot. I realized that I didn't have any of my spare uniforms as I had to dump them on D-Day. I hoped that Colonel Sink would understand why I wasn't dressed in my formal uniform.

I bit my lip as I sat down. I considered not going to the award ceremony and wondered how I could get out of it.

A knock landed on my door. I glanced up at the sudden sound. I sighed and stood up, making my way across the room to open the door. When I turned the handle and pulled the door open, I was face to face with Speirs.

I blinked at him. "Lieutenant?"

He looked at me for a moment before asking, "Am I interrupting something?"

Wide eyed, I replied, "Um, no...?"

He nodded as he took in my appearance. "Why are you not dressed for the ceremony?"

I glanced down at my dirty uniform. I didn't realize just how dirty it was until I examined myself. My uniform was stained with old blood, crusted with dried mud and faded slightly from the sun and rain. I pushed my tongue into my cheek before timidly replying, "I don't have a spare uniform."

He recalled, "You dumped all of your belongings on D-Day."

I nodded. "Yes sir."

He nodded briefly before ordering, "Follow me."

I furrowed my brow at him as I tilted my head. I wasn't sure what he wanted or where he wanted me to go and I was hesitant to follow him.

He stopped a few feet from my door and turned back to me. "Come on. Let's go."

"Go where?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrow at me while staring at me with his brooding eyes. "Must I order you to follow me?"

I sighed and reluctantly followed him after I closed the door to my barracks behind me. We walked in silence as I followed him across the yard to a barn.

He saluted the sentries that were guarding the it and opened the door. I looked between the two kids guarding the barn before stepping across the threshold into it.

Speirs continued to lead me across the length of the barn before stopping in the corner. He extended his arm out in front of him and stated, "Have your pick, Nurse Banks."

I cautiously approached him and glanced into the corner of the barn. Sitting on a large wooden table along the back wall were several freshly laundered uniforms folded neatly in piles. There were even a few dress uniforms.

I glanced over my left shoulder at Speirs. "Where'd these come from?"

He explained, "They were included in the resupply for soldiers such as yourself and those that needed a change of clothes before returning to the line."

I looked at him skeptically.

He added, "Many of the men have dysentery, so we had to get fresh clothes in for them to make a quicker recovery."

I nodded as I understood fully why we had the spare sets of clothing. I glanced back at the clothes and asked, "Won't I get into trouble for taking some?"

He shook his head. "I'll make sure we note what you take. Grab what you need to resupply your lost kit too. I'll wait by the door."

I watched as he walked away from me to stand by the door. I looked back at the clean uniforms and wondered why the sudden change in personality with Speirs. I also remembered that this was something he did frequently enough with me and that I shouldn't be surprised by his change in behavior.

I stepped forward and started to gather the items that I needed. Once I was finished taking the few basics that I was missing, such as a replacement uniform and items from my pack that I had to dump, I meandered back to the door.

Speirs looked down at my half full arms and asked, "Is that all you are taking?"

I looked down at the few items I was carrying. "Yes..."

"As long as you think that's enough," he replied as he started to make note of everything that I was taking.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I just waited until he finished scribbling out the note of the items that would be missing from the supply room.

Once he was finished, we took our leave.

We stepped outside of the supply depot and he began to walk me back to where I was staying. I bit my lip as I started to wonder what else he was going to say to me.

"Old habits die hard, I see," he muttered.

I glanced over at him, quickly releasing my lip from my teeth. I sighed. "I guess so."

"You're not going to argue with me?" he asked, almost shocked. I wondered if he was expecting a fight from me on the matter. Truth was, I was getting tired of allowing him to get under my skin for something that was silly.

I shrugged. "Old habit. No reason to fight about it."

He raised an eyebrow at me. He studied my face before turning his gaze back in front of him to focus on where he was going. "You are a mystery to me, Nurse Banks."

"You've said that before, but I don't know why I'd ever be a mystery to you or anyone," I replied quietly.

He ignored my remark and asked, "What did you do before the war?"

I blinked at him. "What?"

He asked again, "Before your assignment as a field nurse, what were you doing back home?"  
I bit my lip again. This was something that I never wanted to share with anyone, even though I mentioned it to Darla in a letter, it was still hard for me to say. I thought about how to answer the question. Carefully, I replied, "I moved about a lot."

He narrowed his dark eyes suspiciously at me. I could see that he was trying to determine whether or not I was being honest with him. He stated, "You're not lying, but I can tell you're holding something back."

I stopped outside my barracks door and asked, "What does it matter? It's the past, isn't it?"

He looked down briefly before replying, "It's the past that makes us who we are, Nurse Banks. Maybe by learning your past, I can understand your present."

He turned on his heel and meandered away from me. I watched him leave, wondering why I was a mystery to him and why it mattered. I was also beginning to realize that he was a mystery to me.


	44. Past & Present Clash

I didn't go to the award ceremony. Instead, I stayed in my barracks alone, thinking about the events that had led up to this moment in time. I knew that I wouldn't be able to avoid these sorts of ceremonies forever, but I couldn't get past the fact that we had lost so many men and they had been replaced with kids.

Word spread among the camp that everyone was ordered to attend a special vigil for the fallen. There was no getting out of this one. I had to go. Several men were upset about this vigil falling on Sunday which was a day set aside for the men, mostly replacements, to do as they pleased.

I dressed in my new clean uniform and started to walk towards the building that would hold everyone for this event. Men around me began to complain about the ceremony.

"I'll honor the dead on any other day...Saturday or all day Monday, but I shouldn't have to do this on my own time! I had plans!" one man complained.

His friend replied, "Yet, here you are. So, shut up!"

"Of course I'm here...it was an order to be here!" he retorted.

I drowned them out. I understood what he was upset about, but I didn't understand why he couldn't just let go one Sunday...but then again, it could be his last Sunday too.

We filed into the building. It was crowded already and finding space to sit, let alone stand was difficult. I found a small spot in the corner and stood there.

As the men filled the room, I watched them carefully. A lot of the men were showing signs of being worn by war, while the others were clearly replacements as they looked wide eyed and eager to go to the lines.

Suddenly, my eyes caught Lieutenant Speirs entering the room. I swallowed, hoping he wouldn't see me. When he stood on the opposite side of the room, I relaxed a little.

I studied him from my corner. He didn't look around the room. He didn't even talk to the men standing near him. He just was.

It wasn't long until the room was packed full of men. There was barely enough room to move about if you had to leave, let alone room to breathe.

The officers from Battalion, including Colonel Sink appeared before us on a makeshift stage with a podium. Sink looked over the room, clearly pleased with the outcome, even though it was required that we be there.

"Men!" he shouted to get the attention of the room. Everyone quieted down.

Sink continued, "I want to start off by saying how damned proud of you I am. You're fine soldiers, the best this army as ever seen. I know that this is the last place you want to be on such a day as this, listening to me read off a piece of paper, but I commend each and every one of you for showing up and honoring our friends and brothers in arms."

I glanced around the room. A lot of men who had complained earlier looked ashamed. The replacements still looked slightly annoyed to be there, but they didn't mutter any complaints.

Sink stated, "As I read the names today, I want you to remember how brave they were and remember that this is only the beginning. We have suffered the highest casualties since D-Day. I am hoping that by hearing the names of the fallen, we will rise above this and give those Krauts hell!"

Cheers erupted within the room. I sighed, feeling even more uncomfortable in my corner. I knew that Sink was trying to raise the morale for the day, but it was only delaying the inevitable, which was to hear the names of the deceased.

Sink began, "There are 414 names on this list."

I felt a lump in my throat. I knew that the list was long, just from remembering my list that I kept, but I had no idea it was this bad. My heart sped up thinking about all of the names that I would most likely know and I wasn't sure how I would handle it.

Sink had started to read off his list. With each name that was said, if a man knew the deceased, they gasped out in surprise. Some cried, some had to have help to keep standing, and others just checked out mentally. It was hard to watch.

Sink continued to read the names. "Lerner, Oswald."

I let out a gasp involuntarily. I wasn't sure if I had heard the name correctly. The men around me had given me a look by my sudden gasp. I blinked a few times, trying to remember if I really heard the name.

I whispered to the man next to me, "What was that name again?"  
"Which one?" he asked.

I realized that he needed clarification as Sink hadn't stopped reading. "Did he say, Lerner?"

"Yeah, Oswald Lerner," the man replied. "Do you know him?"

"A long time ago, I did," I managed to say. I felt the room spinning. I could feel my heart beating so fast, I was afraid of passing out in the middle of the room. My body started to shake and the bile was threatening to rise. I knew that I had to get out of that room and fast.

I started to push past the men who had crowded in around me. With each man that I passed, I heard the worried whispered, "Are you all right, Emmeline?"

I ignored them and continued towards the door. Once I reached it, I bolted out into the fresh air, but I didn't stop walking.

I reached the next building several yards away when my knees finally buckled from under me. I collapsed next to the building. The bile decided to make it's appearance and I threw up.

I coughed a couple of times, allowing the nerves to take over my body. Once I finished getting sick, I waited hunched over. I spit the taste from my mouth and shakily started to stand up with the help of the building.

Standing on my unstable legs, I turned around only to be face to face with Webster.

"Are you all right, Em?" he asked, clearly worried.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks."

He gave me that 'I don't believe you' look. "What happened in there?"

"I'm just overwhelmed by all of the names, that's all," I replied. I knew that he wouldn't believe me, but I hoped he would and that he would drop it.

He said, "Emmeline, you reacted pretty strongly to one of the names."

"I thought it was a name of someone I knew. It wasn't," I lied.

He studied my face. "If you say so."

I didn't say anything, nor did I make a move to walk back to the building. He asked, " Shall we head back in?"

I replied, "I need a moment first. I'll catch up."

He continued to look at me with worried eyes, but turned and left me by myself.

Once he was back in the building, I headed to my barracks. I needed to write to Darla. It couldn't wait. I knew that I wouldn't be missed in the memorial ceremony, as I'm sure they couldn't see me in my corner as it was. I needed to get this out sooner rather than later.

I entered my barracks and pulled out the notebook and began to write to Darla.

Dear Darla,

I need to tell you something. I just left the memorial service for the dead to write this. Granted, there was a good reason that I left. I heard a name that I know and it's not from training.

The name is from my past. I fear that running away from my past hasn't freed me from the binds that held me there. What worries me more than knowing that there was one of them here is the possibility that the others are here as well.

I know you may think that it has nothing to do with me, that they are just serving their country, but I know them better than that. They must have known that I had volunteered.

Darla, I am scared. For the first time since being here, I fear that I may not make it home. If they are here looking for me, if they find me-...

I need to calm down. I know that I need to just calm down. The chances of being found by them are slim...at least that is my hope.

I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I never explained why I am concerned.

Do you remember when I told you about the place that I grew up? Well, the man who ran that home after his mother died - God rest her soul - was only one of six brothers. They were all evil, some more than others.

The name of the deceased brother was Oswald Lerner. He was the youngest of all of them. He wasn't the worst either. At one point, I honestly think that he tried to help us, but something changed in him. I don't know if he was punished for trying to help us girls, or what, but he was never the same after that.

I was the one who got away, Darla. If they are here, then they have one motive and it's not to kill the Germans. It's to kill me. I know that I sound paranoid, but I needed to tell you anyways.

Pray that I never have to find those men in my travels! Pray that I live to see you and the girls again! I love you!

Emmeline

A knock on the door startled me so much that I dropped my notebook and pencil. I stared at the door. "Just a moment!"

I picked up the items that fell and quickly stashed them back into my pack for safe keeping. I didn't want anyone to find that bit of information about me or the Lerners. I needed to figure out a way to get that letter mailed off to Darla without someone peeking a look. That would be a challenge in itself.

I walked over to the door of my barracks and opened the door. Standing before me was Lieutenant Speirs.

"Lieutenant...sir?" I asked. I felt uncomfortable as I knew that I was going to get in trouble for not going back to the memorial service, which was most likely over by now.

He met my gaze. For a moment, I could see a hint of worry behind his dark eyes. The more that I studied his eyes, that hint of worry disappeared.

He asked, "What happened this afternoon, Nurse Banks?"

I braced myself for the change of personality that he was notorious for. I replied simply, "I was overwhelmed by the number of dead, sir."

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. "And the real reason, Nurse Banks?"

"That is the real reason," I stated, trying to sound firm.

"Nurse Banks, you're lying. You're a terrible liar, always have been," he stated.

Before I could retort, he asked, "Who is Oswald Lerner?"

There was no hiding the reaction that my body involuntarily did by just the mention of the name. My own body had betrayed me and there was no getting away with avoiding the question.

Graciously, he held back his smirk. He waited for my answer.

"He's someone I used to know," I replied.

He studied my face before asking, "Is he the reason you moved about a lot?"

I sighed. "One of them."

He nodded as he took in what I was saying. "How many others are there?"

"Other reasons?" I asked confused.

"I assume by your words that he had brothers," Speirs stated, connecting the dots easily.

I bit my lip. "Yes. He has brothers...had..."

He waited for me to continue. When I wouldn't say anything more on the matter, he nodded and started to walk away from me.

"That's it?" I asked, surprised.

He stopped and turned to look at me once more. "What did you expect, Nurse Banks?"  
I bit my lip again before pointing out, "You usually badger me with questions until you get every detail...every answer...You usually frustrate me before you leave..."

"You want me to frustrate you?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"That's not what I meant! I meant-" I started to say.

He cut me off, "I've gotten everything that I needed to know from you, Nurse Banks. Sorry that I didn't...frustrate you before leaving."

I watched as he turned and walked away from me. This time, I didn't stop him.


	45. Market Garden

Early the next morning, we had received our new orders. We would be participating in a mission called Operation Market Garden. We were informed of the details involving such a mission, and then we were told that it would be operated by the British.

This didn't sit well with any of the men. They wanted nothing to do with British commanders telling them what to do. Frankly, I was more worried about the details of the mission, but the commanders were confident that this mission, should it be successful, would end the war and take all of us home by Christmas.

There was a lot of enthusiasm in making this mission successful, but I worried that it sounded too good to be true.

I watched as the men around me took in the mission details. They wanted to go home. I suddenly felt the pangs of sadness as I realized that there were 414 names that were read the night prior who would never see home or their families again.

I had to push these thoughts that were invading my mind away. I couldn't focus on that now. I needed to focus on the job at hand.

My unit and I gathered outside to start getting ready for the jump into Holland. Getting back in the harness was bittersweet for me. As I got my harness on, I began to remember those feelings of my jumps during training. I missed that feeling of my mother's presence. I hoped this would be a good jump to feel her near me once more. I needed that comfort desperately.

"What the hell is he doing here?" I overheard someone ask.

I glanced up and saw a lot of men looking behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see that Sobel was part of the group who had brought in supplies and the men who were rejoining us.

He was scolding Malarkey for something, of what, none of us knew. Bull muttered, "That's him all right."

I thought about giving him the letter to give to Darla, but I heard rumors of him opening mail before sending it out. I didn't want him reading any of my letters. I sighed as I just had to think of a different way to get that letter to her.

As I finished preparing myself for the jump, I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I turned around, afraid that it was Sobel.

"Hello, Emmeline!" Wynn smiled at me.

I returned the smile. "Popeye! How are you?"

"I'm a little sore to be honest with you," he admitted.

I asked, "Were you cleared for this jump?"

He looked at me sheepishly. "Not exactly. I didn't want to miss this and I certainly didn't want to be reassigned to another unit!"

I realized what he was saying. "How did you convince Sobel to bring you here?"

"He said he envied me. That I could sit this one out if I wanted to, but I chose not to, then he said hop in," he explained. "So, here I am."

I chuckled at his story. It was good to have him back. He walked away from me to get ready for the jump which was coming up soon.

I sat down, ready to go. I had the things that I needed in my jacket and the rest was strapped to me. There wasn't much else to do but wait.

The jump went smoothly. The weather was clear with no wind and the rare sighting of a cloud. I was a little anxious as this jump was in the daylight hours, but I knew that it was a shorter jump and I was secretly hoping this was going to go smoothly.

When the green light turned on, I moved forward towards the door as the men in front of me were exiting the plane. When it was my turn, I did just as I was trained to do and jumped.

The jump was comforting. I didn't have any flashbacks of my mother, but I could feel her with me. It was nice to feel her again. I missed that sensation.

I landed in the field and was able to gather my footing with relative ease. I unhooked myself from my chute and ran over to the rest of my unit.

Jumping into the ditch with the men, I scanned the area. I didn't see any enemy around, and I hoped for all of our sakes, that was the way it would be. If this mission went as easy as the jump did, I believed every word the British commanders said. I could see being home by Christmas.

Our main objective was the town of Son, then we would head into Eidenhoven, all the while securing the main roads and bridges which were essential for Market Garden to be successful.

As we entered Son, the Dutch residents were ecstatic about their liberation. They passed out fruit, cigars and pints of beer to the men as we marched through. The men obliged the people who lived here by accepting the gifts and that in turn caused the lines to break apart, stopping us in the town.

I could hear the officers shouting for everyone to keep moving. I worried about being stationary. I kept walking around, sometimes aimlessly until we regained our lines.

When we finally got the men back in order, we were able to get out of Son. We were heading towards Eidenhoven and the bridge that sat in between Son and Eidenhoven.

Our scouts had come back to inform us that the Germans had been spotted all around that area. We stopped for a moment while Winters organized a plan of action.

Whispers were coming back to us about what was going to happen. When the mention of D Company joining our ranks was said, I listened even more carefully. I wanted to know just how much involvement D Company was going to have and if I would be exposed to Speirs.

Winters gave the order to move out. We started walking along the road and halfway to the bridge, we joined Dog Company. Each company took one side of the road as we neared the bridge.

Less than a kilometer from the bridge, we met resistance from the Germans who began firing their 88s and machine guns at us. Instinctively, we dove into the ditches that lay on either side of the road.

Pushing forward slowly, we returned fire and lobbed mortars over the bridge, which surprisingly was enough to silence the opposition.

I was unable to tell if we had killed the enemy or if they fled further toward Eidenhoven. Either way, for the moment, we were safe.

We stood up and began to make our approach to the bridge. When we were 25 meters from the entrance of the bridge, it blew up in our faces.

"Hit the dirt!" someone shouted nearby before it was drowned out by the explosion.

Every single one of us fell to the ground, shielding ourselves from the rocks and debris that were falling down on top of us.

I curled into a ball, covering my head with my hands, all the while praying that none of us would be seriously injured from this explosion.

Someone nearby coughed as they stated, "I guess the Germans succeeded in delaying our advance long enough to finish their demolition work!"

I coughed as I lifted my head. The falling debris had ceased and men were starting to stand up.

I rolled onto my back, ready to push myself up when a hand lowered to my level.

I took it without a thought and was pulled to my feet. Once on my feet, I began to say, "Thank you-"

My eyes met those familiar dark ones of Lieutenant Speirs. I bit my lip and didn't continue with my thanks.

He released my hand and looked me over quickly before moving passed me. I wondered if he was making sure that I wasn't wounded.

Webster had approached me and asked, "Em, you okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine. Thanks."

Webster gave me a quick look over before saying, "That was close."

I looked around at the men. None of them were injured, surprisingly. I replied, "Yeah. It was."

Winters ordered, "I want everyone to sit tight in some cover. We need to find a way across that river."

It wasn't long before Gordon approached Winters and said, "Sir, I see a boat on the other side. I could swim out to it and bring it back."

Winters followed Gordon to the edge of the riverbank to see for himself what Gordon was seeing.

Chuckles and hearty laughs soon followed. I looked around at the men and asked Webster, "What's going on? Why is everyone laughing?"

Webster smirked as he replied, "Gordon's stripped down to bare skin to swim across that river to get the boat!"

I blushed slightly just from the thought of Gordon being stark naked in the river and swimming to grab a boat for all of us to use. I suddenly thought of Sarah. I'm sure she would have wanted to see this sight.

Within a few moments, Gordon had brought the boat back across the river and was dressed in his uniform. We were ordered to take turns ferrying across the river in the small boat the Germans left behind.

Riding in the boat was uncomfortable. They packed as many as they could in each ferry to make the progression quicker. I had an elbow in my spine and another one in my ribs. I felt like I couldn't breathe at all either.

Once we arrived to the other side of the river, getting out of the cramped boat was even more challenging. Some of the men fell into the river for preemptively standing up. The men laughed at the unfortunate ones, but continued to help them out regardless.

Even though a lot of the men had made it safely across the river, we still had to get the rest of our Company, Dog Company and Battalion, who had decided to join us, across. With the bridge out of commission, and only using the small boat for ferrying, we realized that we needed to come up with another solution and quickly.

Lipton and Talbert took some men and headed to a nearby barn. Within ten minutes, they returned with the doors of the barn and began to secure them to the back of the boat.

Having the doors on the back of the boats would allow supplies and a couple of men to come across each time, speeding up the process.

Colonel Sink arrived to our side of the river. He looked at Winters and said, "Well those Germans certainly were prepared. It's set us back by a good couple of hours."

"Yes sir, they certainly have," Winters replied.

Sink stated, "We've gotten word from the 4th Armored Division that there is a lot of resistance in Eidenhoven. The Germans have set up 88s and snipers, some of them in the town. They've sent some scouts in the town now, but they haven't reported back. I think we should get to the halfway mark and set up shop there."

Winters nodded. "I agree, sir. I'll inform the men."

My mouth was dry. The 4th Armored Division was Sarah's unit. If they had gotten into trouble, I hoped they were okay and that Sarah was being smart. My nerves were starting to get the better of me. I had to sit down before I fell down.


	46. Advice

That night, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't focus on anything but what was going on with Sarah's unit. No one, including Colonel Sink and the others from Battalion knew what was going on. They hadn't heard from that unit since early that afternoon.

I bit my lip as I thought. When I started to taste the hints of copper, I realized that I was biting my lip too hard to the point of bleeding.

I sighed as I tried to will myself to calm down. There was nothing to be upset over, but it was the waiting that was damaging my calm.

Most of the men were already asleep or on watch, including Webster who was fast asleep nearby. I don't even think he realized that the unit they were talking about was Sarah's.

Finally, I stood up. I was feeling antsy. I had to get my mind off of this and quickly. I figured that I would track down Winters and ask him for advice.

As I neared where I thought Winters was, I could see him talking to Sink with Nixon and a couple of other officers from Battalion. They were leaning over a map and I realized they were probably discussing our options.

I watched from my distant spot. I knew that it wasn't the right time to approach them. I sighed as I thought about leaving.

"Nurse Banks?" the familiar husky voice spoke from behind me.

I swallowed as I slowly looked over my left shoulder.

Speirs walked up to me and stopped next to me. "What are you doing?"

I sighed again before admitting, "I was going to talk with Lieutenant Winters, but he's busy at the moment."

Speirs glanced quickly over to Winters and the rest of them before returning his gaze on me. "What did you need to speak to him about?"

I hesitated to say why. For some reason, I felt like he already knew. I managed to whisper, "I wanted some advice..."

"On what matter?" he questioned again, holding my gaze.

I shifted in my spot. I felt awkward under his intense stare. "I...I was hoping he could tell me about..."

Speirs finished my sentence. "Nurse Morgan's unit."

I nodded. "Yes sir."

He furrowed his brow at me. I wasn't sure if it was because I just called him sir or if it was something else.

I looked up at him to see that his face had softened for just a moment, but just as quickly as it came, it disappeared.

He asked, "I assume that your worry for your friend is the reason for your bleeding lip?"

I touched the spot with my lip and felt the sting of the opened section. I sighed again as I nodded.

This time, he sighed. It was as if he was finally giving up. "Nurse Banks, I'm sure that everything will be fine with your friend."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

He replied, "Nurse Morgan had you to look after her for the past several years. I'm sure she learned a lot from you."

I smirked. "I wish I had your confidence."

He tilted his head at me, almost in a confused manner. "What do you mean by that, Nurse Banks?"

"Sarah's never been the smartest of the girls. Even if she did manage to pick up something from me or any of the girls, I don't think it would be enough to keep her alive in this war, should she come face to face with a danger like this," I explained quickly.

Speirs didn't say a word after hearing my explanation. I watched him carefully as I could see that he wasn't about to comment.

I asked, "What do you think will happen tomorrow?"

He met my eyes and once again, I could see a tinge of sadness tracing them. He said, "I think you should expect the worst."

I could feel my body start to shake. "What have you heard?"

He shook his head. "I haven't heard anything, but if what you say is true, then you should be prepared for the worst."

I closed my eyes, willing the tears to stay behind my lids. I felt a warm calloused hand on my right cheek.

I opened my eyes to see Speirs standing close to me, caressing my lip with his thumb.

He whispered, "Get some sleep, Miss Banks. It's going to be a long day."

I blinked a couple of times, trying to keep the tears from falling, but they fell against my will.

He wiped one of the traitorous tears from my face before backing away from me and disappearing into the darkness.


	47. Sarah

The next morning finally arrived. I barely slept during the night.

The entire camp got themselves ready to move out. Our orders were to track down the 4th Armored Division before heading into Eidenhoven. We had to know what happened, even if it is just to find out that they were okay.

There was a lump in my throat. I worried that Speirs was right, that I needed to be prepared for the worst.

We moved out from our spot and headed towards the last known location of the 4th Armored.

I scanned the area in hopes of seeing them before we got there, just to see if people were moving about the area. It didn't even dawn on me that the enemy could still be around.

Webster jogged up to me. "Emmeline! You're walking so fast! What's the matter with you?"

I glanced over at him surprised. I didn't realize that I was walking so much faster than the rest of the group. I slowed my pace.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked with concern.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Web. I guess I just want to make sure that Sarah's okay."

"Sarah?" he asked. "Is this her unit?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It is."

He sighed as he asked quietly, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I figured you already knew," I lied. I didn't feel like explaining why I didn't say anything to him. Truth was, I didn't even know why I didn't say anything to him, but a part of me felt like I shouldn't have to.

The scout ahead of the group ordered us to stop. Everyone took a knee and waited for the next order to come down the line.

I could barely see the scouts running further up the road and into the fields to the left of the road. It was then that I noticed the smoke.

My breathing picked up as I realized the worst was coming.

The scouts motioned that it was safe to approach and the train of men continued forward to regroup with the scouts.

When we neared the area, the smoke was thicker, but it was old, almost as if it had been burning for a while.

Scattered orders could be heard around me. One of those orders stood out above the rest. "Search for survivors!"

I slowly made my way into the field and smoke. I didn't have to stray too far from the road to see the debris from the tanks. They were still smoking.

I watched my step to make sure that I avoided the hot metal as I looked about the grounds.

With each step that I took into the field, the more I could see. Blood stained grass became more frequent and then I found the first of many bodies from the 4th Armored Division.

I bent down to check the man who was lying on his stomach a few feet from where I stood. I rolled him over onto his side. He had been shot in the chest three times.

I blinked back the tears as I pulled his dog tags off. I stood up, clutching his tags.

Glancing over my shoulder, I could see another tank nearby. I started to walk over to the next tank, as the men began to organize the site.

I rounded the corner of the smoking tank and saw the whole unit lying on the ground.

My mouth fell open. I tried to breathe, but couldn't remember how. Scanning the area of the battle, I lost the ability to do anything. It was only when more men from my unit appeared next to me that I was able to blink back into the present.

I forced my shaky legs to move further into the thick of it. I looked over the dead and wondered what had happened. They weren't close enough to the town of Eidenhoven or any other town. They were in the middle of a field and the grass wasn't long enough to hide an ambush.

As I scanned the area, my eyes fell upon Gordon. He stood there as I had been since discovering this section of the battle. I could see the pain and fear on his face.

I walked over to him. "Gordon?"

He didn't look up at me. Instead, he whispered as I neared him, "I can't find her."

"We'll find her, Gordon," I barely managed to say.

It was then that he looked at me. We shared the same feelings for Sarah, but we couldn't say those words. We didn't have to.

He just nodded as he brushed passed me. I swallowed as I glanced out further into the field.

It was then that I noticed something strange. I started to head towards the object that lay a few meters from the dead.

With each step that I took, I slowed my pace. I was afraid of what I would find when I got to the end of my walk. Somehow, my feet continued moving me forward and when I finally arrived to my destination, I shakily knelt down to see who was lying here, so far away.

My hands shook as I reached for the body. I knew by the shape of the figure that it wasn't a man, but Sarah. I turned the body over to look at her face once more.

I could no longer contain my tears behind my eyes. They cascaded down my face in quick succession as I cradled my friend's lifeless body.

I could hear footsteps running towards me. I forced myself to look up at the person. It was Gordon.

He crumpled down across from me and began to sob. He held her hand as we sat there together, mourning the loss of our loved one.


	48. Painful Truths

We had set up camp in that location for the night. Battalion decided to take the deceased with them as they headed back behind the lines to come up with a course of action. Many of the replacements joked that the reason they headed back behind the lines was because action and death frightened them.

I gave my numerous letters, including one that I wrote upon finding Sarah and her unit wiped out to Colonel Sink for delivery. He had graciously agreed to deliver all of them to Darla personally.

Webster found me after Battalion left and camp was set. He approached me and asked, "How are you holding up, Em?"  
I sighed. "I don't know."

He pulled me into a warm embrace. "I'm so sorry, Emmeline. She was too young."

"We're all too young, Web. I just wish that it hadn't been her," I muttered.

He released me and said, "I have something for you."

I looked at him, waiting to see what he was going to hand over to me. He pulled out a handful of dog tags. I blinked at the sight of them.

He stated, "I know that this is probably the last thing you want to see, but I know that you've been gathering them since we jumped to keep a record of the dead...so...I took them for you."

I stared at the amount of tags in his hands. I sighed as I took the bundle from him. "Thank you, David. I appreciate that."

He smiled sadly at me. "I'm here for you, anytime."

I met his sad gaze and forced a smile. "I know. Thank you."

When he finally walked away from me, I glanced back down at the tags in my hands. I closed my eyes and felt the pain surge through me. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. Life wasn't meant to be this way.

Sarah was young and had her whole life ahead of her. It wasn't fair. If anyone deserved to live through the war, it was her. Battalion said that she would be safe, but they were wrong. I started to realize that it didn't matter where we were...none of us were safe, not even Darla who was in England.

I released a heavy sigh and opened my eyes. I opened my pack and dropped the tags inside. I didn't want to deal with those at the moment.

I walked about the camp. When I saw Gordon sitting by himself, I headed over to him.

He glanced up at me as I made my approach. "Hey Gordon."

I sat next to him as he asked, "You know, she wrote to me every day?"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't know that."

He held up a notebook that looked similar to the one that Darla had given all of us. He stated, "She wrote them in here, but never ripped them out for mailing."

I smiled sadly as I realized that she really loved him. Suddenly, a painful memory hit me. I whispered, "She wanted me to tell you that she remembered."

A smile brushed his lips. For the first time since discovering her body in that field, he smiled a happy love-filled smile.

I asked, "What did that mean?"

"I told her to remember me everyday and that I would remember her. I told her that if she remembered our love, that we'd see each other again. True love never forgets," he explained.

I whispered, "I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you when I saw her on D-Day."

He shook his head. "We were busy with staying alive, Emmeline. I don't blame you."

I looked down at my boots. I still felt guilty for not telling him sooner.

He extended her notebook out to me. "Here."

"You should keep it," I stated.

He replied, "I already took my letters. You should keep the notebook or give it to her family when you get home."

I hesitated before taking the book from him. I stared at it as I held it carefully as if it was going to melt in my hands.

"Besides," he added. "You write letters more often than I do. I suspect you're going to need the paper soon."

I muttered, "Thank you, Gordon."

He stood up and placed a gentle hand on my right shoulder. He gave it a little squeeze before he released me and walked away.

I looked back down at the notebook. I was afraid to open it. I was afraid of what I might find written on the inside.

I sat there by myself, contemplating about whether to open the notebook or not, when I heard someone stop in front of me.

I glanced up and saw Lieutenant Speirs standing before me. I just stared at him, unsure of what he was going to say.

He sat next to me where Gordon had been, but didn't say anything. He didn't hold me under his dark gaze nor did he hound me with questions. He just sat there next to me.

I asked, "What can I do for you, Lieutenant?"  
He shook his head. "Not a thing, Nurse Banks."

I studied his face before looking away from him. I whispered, "I know that you told me to expect the worst, but I think the worst part is the part that isn't obvious."

"What do you mean, Miss Banks?" he asked. The tone of his voice told me that he knew what I was about to say.

"She was dragged there, wasn't she?" I asked.

He nodded. "Looked that way."

"They were going to take her away...as a prisoner, or...I can't even fathom what..." I started to say before I lost my words thinking about the possible situations.

He replied, "Now you understand why I keep scolding you for wandering the camps by yourself."

"She wasn't by herself. She had an entire unit-" I began.

He cut me off, "It was an ambush, Nurse Banks."

I looked over at him suddenly. "Ambush? How-"

Once more, he cut me off to fill me in. "Dutch Resistance scouts said that a group of Germans pretended to surrender to the 4th Armored. They took them by surprise."

"That's why none of them had their weapons on them," I said, realizing that what he was saying was true. I closed my eyes as I pictured what had transpired.

He continued, "From what they tell us, your friend was being taken prisoner because she was a woman. When she resisted, they shot her in the back as she ran away."

I sniffled, feeling the tears forming once more. "Does Gordon know?"

Speirs shook his head. "Only Battalion and you know."

I whispered as tears fell down my cheeks, "Don't tell him. It'd break his heart."

I felt the familiar calloused finger on my cheek. I glanced over at Speirs as he brushed the tears from my right cheek. He didn't say anything more.

I asked, "Aren't you going to ask me how I'm doing?"

"I'm not going to ask you that. Too many have and will ask that. I know how you're feeling, Nurse Banks. I don't need to ask such a trivial question," he stated.

He removed his hand from my cheek and added, "I came over to tell you the truth, and to give you someone to talk to."

I watched him carefully before asking, "And what if I don't feel like talking?"

He didn't hesitate. "Then I'm just here in case you decide you do."

He lived up to his promise. He sat next to me all night, without saying another word, but just being a safe presence nearby.


	49. Eidenhoven

I watched the sun rise the next morning. Speirs had been next to me, as he promised, the entire night. As soon as morning made its appearance, he had to leave me to attend to his duties as Company Commander.

I was grateful to him for his company that night. It made getting through the night easier. It was the best gift he had given me.

We began to make our way to Eidenhoven. It was a quiet march there, as everyone was still shaken up from the events the night before. I was one of them. I didn't want to talk to anyone about what I was feeling or going through. I also knew that I had a job to do and I couldn't take the proper time to mourn my beloved friend. If I started to mourn her now, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop.

It wasn't too much longer before we could see the massive city of 100,000 standing in the near distance. Winters gave the order to halt. He turned to Lieutenant Brewer and ordered, "Lieutenant Brewer, put your scouts out and take off."

As Brewer was organizing his platoon, Winters looked at me and asked, "Do you want to go with them?"

I looked up to meet his gaze. "Do I have a choice?"

Winters gave me a sympathetic look. I replied, "I'll go. I'll just be careful."

Gordon was next to me and chimed in, "Don't worry, sir. I'll watch out for her."

Winters nodded and headed back to the front. I looked at Gordon who smiled sadly at me. It was at this moment that I realized that Gordon and I were closer than ever before. We had suffered together and we had a better understanding and appreciation for one another. I no longer cared if he considered me a sister, as I saw him as my brother.

Brewer looked over us and gave the orders. He did everything by the book. The scouts headed out in the front of the group, with no bunching together and they moved fast through the fields.

It wasn't long before the rest of us were given the order to follow. Gordon kept his word and stayed next to me as we ran through the gardens and freshly plowed fields towards the city.

We took cover behind a garden hutch. Glancing around the corner, we could make out Brewer in front of the scouts. He still had his map case on his hip, his binoculars around his neck and to make things even more obvious, he was standing above the rest of the men at six feet.

Gordon muttered, "He's looks like a field marshal on parade, don't he?"

Before I could reply, we heard the faint shouts in the radio echoing, "Get back! Fall back! Fall back!"

Gordon looked down at me. "Was that Winters?"

I didn't reply. Instead, I was watching Brewer intensely. Within seconds of hearing the order for him to fall back behind the scouts, a single shot rang out.

Lieutenant Brewer fell down into the street. I didn't hesitate. I ran out towards him, followed by Gordon and a couple of others who were ordered to leave wounded behind for medics.

When we reached Brewer, we pulled him off to the side of the street for cover. I slumped to my knees beside him.

One of the men sighed. "Aw, hell! Forget him! He's gone, he's gonna die!"

I glanced up at the men standing around me. "Don't you have some snipers to take care of?"

The men began to leave and Gordon looked down at me. "Emmeline, we have to keep moving. They're right. He's not going to make it! Just look at him!"

Truth was, I hadn't been able to stop looking at him. He was shot just below the jaw line in the neck. He had been bleeding profusely and he was looking up at me with scared eyes.

I looked up at Gordon. "I can't just leave him."

"You don't have a choice!" Gordon shouted at me.

I looked down at Brewer. I pulled out a thick bandage and placed it on his wound. Grabbing his hands, I placed them over the bandage. "Hold this here, okay? You have to hold this here!"

"Emmeline! Come on!" Gordon was shouting at me again, this time tugging on me to get me on my feet.

I ordered Brewer, "Keep pressure! Medics are coming! We'll get you out of here!"

Gordon had finally had enough of me trying to help a man they felt was dead already. He grabbed me from under my shoulders and hoisted me to my feet. Pulling me away from Brewer, he muttered, "Are you trying to get us killed?"

"I'm doing my job, Gordon! Why didn't you let me stay behind?" I asked with a tone of frustration.

He replied with a question, "And let you get picked off by the next sniper?"

I sighed heavily. I understood what he was trying to say to me, but at the same time, I was supposed to help the ones who had fallen. I didn't appreciate being dragged along to make sure I was safe.

The rest of the way into Eidenhoven, we met little resistance. It was eerily quiet before we entered the main square where the residents of the city greeted all of us warmly.

With each person who came out to greet us, they carried different items. Chairs, drinks, food, and other little trinkets that they offered to us.

I watched as the rest of the Company began to make its way into the square.

When my eyes fell upon Roe, I headed quickly over to him. He met my worried gaze and smiled at me. "Hello Emmeline."

"How is he?" I asked.

Roe nodded. "You did good. He's headed back to England."

"He's going to make it, then?" I questioned. I wanted to hear a definitive answer from him.

He nodded again. "He's in bad shape, but he'll live. Thanks to you."

I released a heavy sigh.

Roe admitted, "I heard about the men telling you to leave him."

I shook my head. "I couldn't do that."

"I know. I would have done the same thing had I been there. It's a mark of a good healer," he stated.

I held back a chuckle. "I wouldn't say that I was a good healer."

"You're better than you think," he replied with a warm smile before he walked away from me.

I turned my head back to watch as the men were enjoying being treated like celebrities. Webster watched me from across the courtyard and finally decided to join me.

When he reached me, he announced, "I think I love the Dutch! They're much better than the British or French!"

I stared at him. I had no idea how to respond to such a statement.

The more that I watched Webster interact with the locals, the more I realized that he was slightly drunk. I shook my head at the fact that our men were getting intoxicated and we still had German snipers in the city.

Word spread through the broken lines that we would be digging in for the night in one of the suburbs of Eidenhoven. After that, we would head out towards Nuenen. For now, the men celebrated with the Dutch, who were ecstatic for being liberated.

I spied Speirs across the square talking to Winters and Nixon. They seemed to be in deep conversations when wailing was heard nearby.

I turned to see what was happening. Slumped over on the ground was a little boy about six or seven years old. I walked over to him and knelt before him.

I asked, "Are you okay?"

He sniffled as he began to sit up. He nodded at me.

"Do you understand me?" I asked, unsure if he was one of the many who spoke English.

Surprisingly, he nodded again and giggled at me. "You wear a funny hat!"

I smirked. "I guess it does look funny, doesn't it?"

I removed my helmet and felt my hair fall across my shoulders. I looked at the helmet and asked the boy, "It's not very fancy, is it?"

The boy stood up before me and knocked on my helmet. "It's hard, too."

I nodded. "It is hard, but it keeps me safe."

Without warning, the kid grabbed the helmet and ran past me.

"Hey!" I shouted at him. I started after him.

I could hear him giggling and laughing as he ran through the crowds to keep the helmet from me.

I managed to grab a hold of his arm just before he could bolt away from me again. I ordered, "Give me the helmet!"

Still laughing as though it was a joke, the kid shook his head at me before throwing my helmet across the way. I sighed frustrated. I let the kid go and headed for my helmet.

The kid pushed past me once more, trying to get there before me. I raced him over, but this time, before the child could get a hold of my helmet, another hand bent down and picked it up.

I stood up and looked at the man who had recovered my helmet. It was another local. He was around my age, if not a couple of years older. I studied his light features and noticed a hint of mischievousness behind his blue eyes. I was suddenly on edge.

I smiled politely before asking, "May I have my helmet back, please?"

The man looked at the helmet before returning his gaze to me. When he didn't say anything, I asked, "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

He nodded. "Most of us understand what you say. We all learn English at a young age, it is customary."

"Oh, that's nice," I started. I realized that I no longer had to ask that question in this city. I asked, "Can I have my helmet back?"

"Why do you need this? You should relax like your friends here," the man replied.

I quickly glanced over my shoulder to find Talbert kissing a Dutch woman as if he had known her his whole life and they were finally reunited. The more I glanced about the square, the more I realized that it wasn't just Talbert but a lot of the men making themselves at home.

I swallowed, suddenly afraid of what this man wanted in exchange for my helmet. I bit my lip as I stood there thinking.

When I turned my gaze back to the man, he had suddenly bridged the gap that stood between us. I gasped at the sudden closeness. I started to take a step backwards and bumped into something hard.

I glanced over my shoulders and felt hands holding me in place. The something that I bumped into was indeed another man and from what I could tell, basing the man's reactions in front of me, it was a friend of his.

I tried to stay calm. "I just want my helmet back."

"And I just want a kiss," the man replied brazenly.

Before I had a chance to say anything, I felt the man's hand reach around the back of my neck as he pulled me into a kiss. I didn't kiss him back. In fact, I was annoyed.

When he realized that I wasn't going to return the gesture, he pulled away from me. His friend released me and I tried to grab my helmet. The man before me raised it above his head, out of my reach.

Frustrated, I started to walk away. It wasn't worth the effort. I could always get a new helmet from somewhere.

As I headed away from the men, I felt a strong grip on my left arm. I was twirled around to face the man once more. This time, he pulled me into another kiss. I pushed him away, but he held onto me.

It wasn't too much longer that the man tried to push his tongue into my tightly closed lips. I wouldn't allow him any of his fun or ideas that he had for me.

I pushed the man away, this time much harder than I had before. I spat, "Keep the helmet!"

I started to walk away again, when I felt the familiar angry grip on my arm once again.

This time, before anything happened, a familiar voice barked, "Release her!"

The man looked past me to the newcomer. He sneered before looking back at me. I could tell the man was trying to figure out if it was worth the effort. Finally, he pushed the helmet into my stomach and then pushed me backwards to my rescuer.

I felt hands stabilizing me before I had a chance to fall. I watched the men walk away from me, back into the crowded square, clearly upset that they didn't get the fun they had hoped for.

I sighed heavily and turned around. I was face to face with a worried and angry looking Speirs.

He looked down at me with burning eyes. "What do you think you're doing?"

I placed my helmet back on my head. I had nothing to say. I knew that it was dangerous for me to be in the middle of the crowd, but I didn't think that a kid was going to be the death of me.

Speirs shook his head, no longer giving me that lecture behind his dark eyes. Instead, he held onto my wrist as he led me through the crowded square.

We didn't get far as we started to hear women screaming and crying. We stopped to observe the scene. Women of all ages were getting their hair cut completely off. Most of them took it without screaming for help, while the younger women were reaching for loved ones to help.

I whispered, "What's happening? Why are they doing this?"

Speirs replied, "The leader of the Dutch Resistance told us about this. These women slept with the Germans. They've betrayed their people and will be exiled after they are shamed in front of the entire city."

"Just the women?" I asked, unable to tear my eyes from the scene before us.

Speirs whispered into my ear, "The men who collaborated are being shot outside the city as we speak."

He tugged me forward. "Let's go."


	50. Falling Back

The next morning, we were greeted with a unit of Cromwell tanks. Word had gotten around that we were to move out towards Nuenen and clear out the opposition there.

Webster interjected, "Vincent Van Gogh was born in Nuenen! This is exciting, Emmeline! How many people get the opportunity to visit a place that someone with incredible talent was born?"

I smiled at his enthusiasm. It was one of the reasons that I liked Webster. No matter the situation, he was always cheery about something.

Someone nearby asked, "Who the hell's that?"

Webster looked taken aback. He glanced over at me as I tried to suppress my laughter.

Webster asked, "You know, the painter? He painted with watercolors... Starry Night?"

When the man shrugged and walked away from the frustrated Webster, I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Web. Not everyone knows good art when they see it."

He sighed, still annoyed with the conversation that had transpired. He headed over to the Cromwell and climbed up the side to catch a ride to our next destination.

I started to walk alongside the tanks when Webster called out to me. "Emmeline! Climb up! It's a long walk!"

I sighed. I wanted to walk, but I also knew that he was right. It was a long walk from our current position to Nuenen, so I reached my hand up to him as I started to climb aboard. Webster pulled me up and made some room for me to sit.

We rode the tanks in silence, listening to the creaking and groaning of the tanks.

We met no resistance or opposition on our trip to Nuenen. The locals cheered as we rode by.

As we left the small town, I glanced over to the still silent Webster. I asked, "So, was it everything you hoped it to be?"

He blinked at me. "What?"

I furrowed my brow at him. "Nuenen. Was it everything you had hoped it to be?"

Webster replied distracted, "Uh, yeah. Fine."

I studied his face but remained silent. Something was bothering him, but I didn't know what.

Before I could ask him what was going on, we heard a panicked shout, "Kruat tanks! Kraut tanks!"

Every single one of us glanced over to see an entire Panzer brigade making their way for us.

The men jumped off the Cromwells and dove into the ditches nearby. I slid off the side and ran towards the ditch just as bullets began to rain down on us.

Just as I jumped into the ditch, Webster pulled me down. "There's so many of them! More than we've ever seen at one time!"

I nodded as the sounds of tank blasts were heard causing me to shrink further into the ditch.

"Get out of the ditch! They're shooting stationary targets! Move! Move!" Randleman shouted at us.

The men around me cursed under their breath as they reluctantly followed the orders they were given. I started to crawl out from the ditch behind them as they began to run across the fields towards the farmhouses.

When we reached the farmhouse on the other side of the road, Martin ordered us to stop.

We huddled against each other, trying to see what he could see further up the road.

The familiar sounds of the Cromwell tanks clanking and creaking up the road caused us to turn our heads to watch their approach.

Martin and Heffron ran over to the lead tank and began to talk to the driver. I watched as Martin shook his head as the tank continued to make its way forward.

Glancing back to where Martin started, I could make out the outline of a German tank targeting the Cromwell. My heart stopped.

When the round landed directly on the British tank, it created a massive fireball inside, killing everyone on the inside instantly. The gunner of the tank was screaming as he pulled himself out. He collapsed to the ground next to the tank as it drove itself down the lane.

I ran over to the gunner and started to look him over. He was missing his legs and he was badly burned. He continued to scream in pain.

"Fall back!" Randleman shouted at all of us.

I looked up when I heard those orders. As the men began to run away, another tank nearby took a shell, causing several people to fall to the ground.

The gunner looked up at me, wide eyed and scared. He shouted, "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!"

My mouth was dry. I was holding back the urge to throw up and cry. The gunner grabbed my collar, pulling me towards him as he continued screaming. I grabbed his wrists, pulling him off of me.

I glanced up and shouted, "Hey! Give me a hand here!"

Two troopers bent down next to me. I ordered, "Get him out of here!"

They picked the legless and bleeding man up and ran him in the direction of our lines.

Just as I started to stand up to follow them, a blast landed behind me knocking me to the ground.

When I landed, all of the air in my lungs escaped my lips. The pain in my chest grew and I worried that I had been hit.

I quickly pushed myself to my knees and quickly looked myself over. I didn't see any wounds or blood. I took a couple of deep breaths, just as I felt strong hands grabbing my shoulders, pulling me to my feet.

I scrambled to my feet and looked at the man who had my shoulder. Compton looked at me as he shouted, "We have to go!"

I nodded as I ran ahead of him. When we got to the field, I heard him shout in pain. I slid to a stop and turned to see what happened.

Lying in the grass, Compton was on his stomach cursing.

It wasn't long before Toye, Guarnere and Malarkey joined us, followed by Roe and Heffron.

Compton muttered, "She always said that my big ass would get in the way."

"Well, she's right about your big ass," Guarnere stated.

I looked at Roe as he tended to Compton's wounds. I stated, "Can I help?"

Roe shook his head but looked up at the men. "We have to get him out of here."

Compton looked at all of us before ordering, "Take off. Let the Germans take care of me."

I glanced at the faces around me. The thought had appealed to them for a second, but Guarnere shook his head. "Sorry bub. Can't do that."

Guarnere motioned for Toye and Malarkey to follow him.

The gunfire and 88s were growing in frequency. I was starting to worry that we would get killed staying in the place we were in.

Roe looked at me and said, "Go! We'll catch up!"

I swallowed, unsure that I wanted to try and head to the lines alone. I felt that I would make a pretty easy target.

Heffron tugged my shoulder. "I'll go with you! Come on!"

Just as we started to stand up to make our run for it, Guarnere, Toye and Malarkey had returned with a barn door. They began to put Compton on it, much to his complaining.

Heffron and I began to run towards the line. As we ran, we watched as another Cromwell blew up from the enemy shells. We took cover in a small ditch when it happened.

Heffron exhaled. "That's what? Four tanks already?"

I thought about it before nodding. "Yeah. Four out of the six we had with us."

Heffron shook his head in disbelief. "If only that idiot had listened to Martin and me."

"What does that mean? What did you say to him?" I questioned.

Heffron replied, "Martin saw that first tank hidden back there. He warned the guy, told him where to fire, but the guy didn't want to do that."

I sighed as Heffron motioned for me to follow him again. We continued our sprint across the field. I couldn't help but wonder what the driver of that tank was thinking. I also was beginning to wonder if Heffron was right. Could all of this been avoided had he just listened to Martin?

When we reached the safety of our line, I fell to my knees, exhausted. Heffron did the same next to me.

I recalled, "I don't think it would have mattered if they had listened to Martin, Babe. They had an entire unit here. Webster said there was at least fifty tanks...we had six."

Heffron was breathing heavily as he shrugged. "I'm sure it could have helped our odds if he had just blown up the building."

I realized that it was pointless to try and reason with him. Everyone would have their own opinions on how this could have been better executed, but I was just happy to see that we had escaped.

Malarkey, Toye and Guarnere pulled Compton over to us and started to load him into the trucks that came for us. Roe climbed in with him to set to work on the wounds.

I stood up and walked over to the truck. I peered inside to see if the gunner had made it back yet. I didn't see him.

I walked over to the other trucks, but there was no sign of him or the men who carried him away from me.

Glancing about, I started to realize that we were missing a lot of men. I started to panic as I noticed that some of the missing was Randleman and Webster, not to mention a lot of our replacements.

I watched as Lipton talked to Winters. Winters' face fell a little but then the order to move out was given. We had no choice but to leave this little village and those we lost behind.


	51. Trust

We retreated back to one of the small towns that we had passed through in the morning. As we limped back into town, the residents who were cheering and waving orange flags at us were taking the flags down and closing their shutters. Guilt ran through each one of us as we entered the town. We felt as though we had failed them.

Roe shouted his orders, "Bring the wounded over here! We'll get them looked at before sending them back to England!"

The men around him followed the order. All of our casualties were brought over to a secluded area off to the side of the town. I meandered over to help.

Once I arrived into our little makeshift aide station, I set to work cleaning up wounds. I still searched for the men that I had help me with legless gunner, but I still didn't see them.

Many of the men had shrapnel wounds, while a lot of them were suffering from bullet wounds.

Laughing was heard nearby. I stopped briefly to look over my shoulder. Walking into the center of the town was Strayer and a few other officers from Battalion. They approached Winters, still laughing and drinking from their steins.

Strayer looked at Winters, suppressing his laughter. "How'd it go today, Winters?"

I could see Winters shift in his spot while balling up his fists. To his credit, he spoke professionally, "I had fifteen casualties today and took a hell of a licking."

The laughter had ceased. Strayer and the other officers' faces fell. Suddenly, they realized how serious it had been for us. It wasn't until after that statement from Winters that they began to look around at us and saw how bad it was.

I turned back to my wounded man. He had taken a big shrapnel piece in the wrist. He managed to bandage it up, either by himself or with help from someone else, but he was still bleeding when I took the wrap off the wound.

I asked as I began to clean it up, "Tank?"

He grimaced, "Yeah. I was pretty close to it when it got hit."

I nodded as I remembered how it was. I replied, "You're lucky that you bandaged it up when you did."

"Still feels like something's in there," he stated.

I looked closer into the bleeding wound. Sure enough, there was a quarter sized piece of metal sticking in his wound. I had missed it the first time as the blood had covered it up.

"I'm glad you said something. There is a piece still in there." I grabbed the tweezers from my kit.

I looked up at him before saying, "It's going to hurt when I remove it. Are you ready?"

He looked away and nodded, clearly gritting his teeth as he braced for the pain.

I swallowed nervously as I placed the tweezers onto the metal piece lodged in his wound. I started to tug at it. It didn't budge.

The man released a loud groan as I attempted to remove it again. It still didn't move.

I sighed heavily as I whispered, "I'm sorry. I know this has to hurt."

"Just rip the damn thing out!" he groaned.

With shaky hands, I tried again. This time, I pulled harder. It moved, but just barely. The man let out a loud holler. He glared at me. "What is wrong with you? Just pull it out!"

"I'm trying! It's lodged in there pretty good. It's possible that it's stuck in the bone," I stated.

Roe suddenly appeared next to me. "What's going on over here?"

I glanced up to meet Roe's gaze, but he was busy looking at the soldier who had yelled at me.

I explained nervously, "I think the piece of shrapnel is lodged in the bone. I can't get it loose."

Roe looked at the man's wound. He asked, "Tweezers?"

I handed him my tweezers and he attempted to remove it as I had. When he struggled to remove it just as I had, he stopped. He looked up at the man and explained, "She's right. It's stuck in the bone. We can try to remove it now or you can wait and possibly lose the hand."

The man looked at Roe in disbelief. "What? Why would I lose my hand?"

Roe explained, "It has to come out. The longer it stays in there, the higher the risk of infection grows."

I could see the frustration on the man's face growing. He seemed to be battling the idea of letting us help or taking his chances. Finally, he sighed and nodded. "Just give me something for the pain!"

Roe shook his head. "I can't do that. You're bleeding pretty badly. If we give you anything for the pain, you could die."

The man didn't look too pleased with that response. "You can't do anything for me?"

I looked my shoulder to see our men being fed. I said, "Hold on a moment."

I walked away from the two men and approached Talbert. I reached over his shoulder and took the beer from his table. I started to walk away when I heard him protest, "Hey! Emmeline!"

"Sorry Floyd, I need this," I stated as I continued to walk away from him.

When I returned to Roe and our wounded patient, I handed the beer to the man. "Drink this. It might take the edge off."

The man stared at the beer for a moment before smirking. He began to drink the beer in one breath. Once the beer was completely gone, he set the glass down and nodded as he said, "Okay. Let's do this."

I watched as Roe began to tug on the piece of metal. It took ten minutes for the shrapnel to move. The screams from the man were deafening. Everyone in town had stopped what they were doing to observe what we were doing.

A string of profanities came out of the man's mouth. I cringed as he tried to jerk his hand away from Roe but Roe had a good grip on him.

Finally, after a total of twenty minutes, the metal had finally come loose from the man's bone and it was over.

The man was crying from the amount of pain that we had inflicted upon him. I cradled him for a few moments as Roe began bandaging up the wound.

Roe stated, "I'm sorry."

The man sniffled as he replied, "It doesn't matter anymore. It's over. Thank you."

Roe looked at me as I continued to comfort the man. He gave me a sympathetic look before walking away from us.

I whispered, "I'm sorry. So sorry."

The man sniffled again. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you."

"If I were in your shoes, I'd have yelled too," I admitted.

The wounded man pulled away from me and asked, "Why did you volunteer, Emmeline?"

I furrowed my brow at him. "What do you mean?"

"You seem like you could have stayed home and helped back there. Why did you choose to come here?" he questioned.

I feared where this conversation would go. "I wanted to serve my country."

He smirked. "That may be the reason, but I think you've got something else that motivated you."

I tilted my head at him confused. "Why do you say that?"

"Just seems like you're hiding a lot, that's all," he stated. Wiping his face with his good hand, he added, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm just trying to understand."

I nodded and replied, "I know. Do you mind taking a letter back to England for me?"

"Sure thing," he said.

I pulled out my notebook and began to write Darla another letter. I realized that she would be getting a lot of letters from me in one fell swoop, but I didn't care. I needed to tell her how things were going, not just for her own curiosity, but for my own sanity.

I quickly scribbled out my note, which talked about the most recent battle and all of the things leading up to my note. When I finished, I handed it over to the man.

He looked at the folded pages and asked, "Are you sure that you're finished? It doesn't look like we're leaving for another few hours."

I nodded. "I'm sure. I've written a lot of letters lately."

"To Darla?" he asked.

I smiled. "Yes. Darla. You'll see her when you get to England."

He chuckled. "I look forward to it."

"You better grab some food while you can," I said as I began to walk away from him. When I reached a secluded area away from the men, I was handed some food from one of the locals. I smiled and nodded my thanks as I took the food from them.

I watched the people around me as I nibbled at my food. I wasn't overly hungry, but I knew that I was probably more hungry that I felt.

After a few minutes of picking at my food, I set it down beside me.

"You really should finish that," a familiar voice spoke to me.

I glanced up to the owner of the voice. "Hey David. Where've you been?"

Webster sat down next to me. "I've been around. How are you holding up?"

I shrugged. I handed him the food which he took and set to eating. I looked back across the town square at everyone.

Webster asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired, I think," I lied.

He asked, "Are you sure? You seem like something's bothering you."

I sighed. "I guess I have a lot on my mind."

Webster had finished eating my food and turned to me. "Talk to me, Emmeline. Let me in."

I looked at him and saw the concern in his eyes. I half smiled. "I'm okay, Web. Promise."

"I can help you, Em. I can help you with whatever it is that is bothering you, but you have to trust me," he pleaded.

I replied, "I do trust you, David. I know you mean well, but-"

"But you're afraid to tell me what's going on," he stated.

I nodded, no longer sure what I could say on the matter.

Webster whispered, "Trust me, Emmeline. You have to trust someone. Please, let that person be me."

I glanced back up to meet his gaze. I saw that familiar glimmer in his eyes again. I worried that there would be a repeat of what happened before we jumped. I swallowed as I whispered my reply, "I...just..."

I sighed. I was at a loss for words. Could I trust him with everything that had plagued my mind? I wasn't sure but I knew that he was right. I had to trust someone. Darla had been that person since I had met her, but I still held back on a lot of things.

Webster took my hand in his and whispered, "Please Emmeline. Trust me to help you with your burdens."

I hesitated for a moment. The more I thought about telling Webster everything, including my past which I kept hidden from everyone, the more I realized that perhaps it would make getting through this war easier, especially because the Lerners were still at large.

Webster could see the internal struggle that I had and he said, "You don't have to tell me today. Think about it and if you decide that you want to trust me fully, I'll be here waiting for you."

I nodded as he released my hand and left me by myself to think.


	52. Randleman

That night as we recovered from the battle earlier that afternoon, the Germans began bombing Eidenhoven. We could see it all from the town we sat in. It lit up the night sky, casting an eerie orange glow which highlighted the flames on the dark buildings.

No one spoke a word that night. We knew that even though we were given a break for the night, those in Eidenhoven were not. The Allies had not set up their anti-aircraft weaponry in the city, so the Germans had an easy target to bomb with their seventy plane Luftwaffe bombing mission.

As the morning sun started to rise, we had received word that Eidenhoven had suffered heavy casualties. The city was severely damaged with over eight hundred inhabitants wounded and over two hundred killed.

Strayer decided to move two of his other companies into Nuenen, with Easy following in reserve. When we arrived back into Nuenen, we discovered that the Germans had pulled out and were making their way towards Son.

In the town square of Nuenen stood Randleman. He waved at our approach and every single man in our company cheered at the sight of him.

I smiled as I approached him. "Bull! You're okay!"

"Course I am. I've been holding the fort while you guys took in the scenery," he replied with a chuckle.

I looked at his shoulder. "What happened?"

"Tank burst. Some of the farmers here helped dig out the piece, but I could use a real medic," he stated as he puffed on his cigar stub.

I smiled wide. "Come on. I'll get you cleaned up and you can tell me all about it."

As I patched Bull up, he began to tell me how he ended up getting wounded and separated from the company. He had a run in with a German trooper who had followed him into one of the barns but he was able to kill the enemy and hide out in the hay until the Germans withdrew.

While I was working on him, Strayer and a few other officers, Winters included, had joined us. Strayer looked at Bull and asked, "What can you tell us?"

Bull glanced up at the men standing before us. "They pulled out early this morning. They headed Northwest towards Son. I'm not sure if they plan on passing by or trying to take it over."

Strayer nodded and turned to the other officers. "I want Easy to head back to Eidenhoven and camp out there until further notice. If the Germans are planning a counterattack on Eidenhoven, we need to be there ready for it."

Winters nodded as Strayer and his men walked away. He turned to Bull, smiled and said, "Glad to have you back, Bull."

"Good to be back," Randleman replied. Winters smiled once more before leaving the two of us behind.

I finished patching him up and said, "You're lucky to be alive."

I sat next to him on the truck as he replied, "I've got a lot of work left to do, Emmeline. Can't die yet."

I smirked at the comment but said nothing more. We rode in the truck, side by side towards Eidenhoven.


	53. Trusting Someone with the Past

When we reached the outskirts of Eidenhoven that afternoon, we hunkered down and waited. We didn't know if we would have to defend Eidenhoven or not, but we knew it might be a long wait.

By the end of day one, the men had started to relax. Nothing had happened. There was no sign of the enemy and even the Dutch Resistance leaders had heard of nothing happening.

That first night in Eidenhoven, I walked back towards the aide station we set up. I wanted to check up on Randleman.

When I entered the room, I saw that Randleman was the only one in there and he was wide awake.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I asked him with a smile.

He returned the gesture and replied, "I'm not sure I can sleep."

"Why not?" I asked as I approached him.

"It hurts a little," he said with a shrug.

I walked behind him to take a look. As I examined it, I asked, "How long as it been hurting?"

"Couple of hours," he stated.

I lightly touched the spots around his wound. He held his breath. I replied, "It's looking good. Healing nicely."

He asked, "How are you holding up?"

I replaced his bandage as I replied, "I'm all right."

When I finished with his dressing, I walked around to face him. He asked, "And the truth?"

I chuckled. "That is the truth."

He pulled the cigar stub from his mouth and replied, "If you say so."

I whispered, "I'm a little scared to be honest."

He nodded as if he was expecting this response. "I know."

"You do?" I questioned.

He said, "You're good at hiding a lot of things from people, Emmeline, but you're not that good."

I glanced down at my feet, feeling nervous and uncomfortable.

Bull stated, "We can help you, you know. We helped you with that Sergeant in Dog Company."

I chuckled at the memory of tending Bull's bruised shoulder. "I appreciate that."

He added, "I can help you with the Lerners, too."

The mention of the name caused me to flinch. "How do you know that name?"

He held my gaze as he replied, "I was standing near you during that memorial service. You reacted pretty strongly to that name, but no one knows why."

I studied his face. Finally, I whispered, "That's what I'm afraid of, I suppose."

He nodded. "I wagered as much."

When I didn't continue, he patted the cot next to him. "Come on. Talk to me."

For some reason, I sat next to him and said, "I'm not even sure how to start."

"The beginning is as good a place as any," he replied.

I licked my dry lips before I started, "Well...let me say that no one else knows about this. Darla knows very little, but I've never told anyone this."

"Your secret's safe with me," he replied honestly.

I held his gaze, studying his face to see if there was any hint of him being deceitful, but I found nothing but concern and trust in his face. I nodded as I said, "I know. I just don't want everyone in the Company to know about this..."

He nodded. "Not a word. Unless it's absolutely necessary."

I swallowed as I thought about situations that could become necessary. I got so involved in my own thoughts about situations that would warrant Bull to tell people, that I didn't feel Bull grab my hand until he squeezed it comfortingly.

I looked up at him, blinking the tears away.

He whispered, "It's okay, Emmeline."

I nodded and said, "It's just hard to talk about. I haven't talked about this to anyone...but I think I need to."

Taking in a shaky breath, I started, "When I was three years old, my mother had killed herself over the loss of my father who died at the end of the first war. The neighbor found me and took me to a wayward home for girls. Because I was the youngest child there, the woman who ran the place took me under her wing. She became my mother. She taught me many things, even about love and loss. I called her my mother and still think of her as such to this day."

Bull listened as I continued to talk. "When we practiced our jumps for our wings, I felt her presence with me. I had memories of her and I together and I loved that feeling. I couldn't imagine living without feeling her near me again."

I wiped the tears away from my eyes. "When we jumped on D-Day, I didn't feel her next to me anymore. I felt so alone. I-I just felt like she had abandoned me like my birth mother did."

I felt Bull pull me into a small embrace. It was comforting that he was just here listening to me. I felt safe within his arms. He whispered, "Keep going."

I swallowed as I continued, "My mother had six sons. Oswald, the one who died, he was the least evil of the brothers as well as the youngest. He treated me so kind for years, but when my mother- his mother, started to fall ill, the other brothers spoke to him...about what, I don't know, but since that day, he began treating everyone at the wayward home, including me just as horrible as his brothers did. When she died, the home went to her sons."

"That's when things started to go badly, isn't it?" Bull asked.

I nodded. "Yes. I was placed in the home instead of staying in the house where I had lived for years. I was eight when she died and forced to live with the other girls. Her sons treated all of the girls, myself included as if we were insects that had to be killed. We would go days without food. We would be beaten for no reason except for entertainment."

I took in a shaky breath. "I watched so many girls die by their hands. I remember running for help, but no one would listen to me. I was locked in the cellar for three days before they let me out again as punishment. I tried to help those girls, but I failed them."

"You were eight, Emmeline. You did the best that you could," Bull whispered.

I shrugged. "I feel as though I could have done more. Regardless of how we were treated, they continued to get girls and money for us to live there. When I was old enough, I ran away. I didn't have anything to take with me, so I just ran. I worked for food and travel to get as far away as possible from those people."

Bull asked, "How old were you?"

I replied, "I was thirteen when I ran away. I spent a few weeks working odd jobs at diners or train stations to get food or travel. When I felt that I was safe, I met a kind woman who worked as a nurse and she took me in. I told her a little bit of what I had endured and she swore that I would never have to face them again."

"What happened after that?" Bull questioned.

I replied, "I lived with her for a few years, but when I was running errands for her, I spotted one of them in town. I realized that I had been stupid for thinking that I could run away from them and they wouldn't come after me."

"Why would they track you down?" Bull asked confused.

I stated, "I was the one who got away. If I told the right people about what they were doing, they would be shut down and possibly thrown in jail. They couldn't take that risk. So, they tracked me down. When they arrived to my little house that I shared with the nurse, she explained that I had stopped by a long time ago, but moved on. That was good enough so they left. My friend told me about this program within the military where they were searching for young women to volunteer as nurses for the front lines. As much as she didn't want me to leave, we knew that it was a safer option for me than staying in the country waiting for those men to give up on finding me. So I left the place that I had called home for years and headed to the enlisting depot. It wasn't long after that, that I was training with you in Toccoa. The rest you know."

Bull sat there in silence, almost stunned to hear what I had to say. I knew that it was a lot to process and I knew that I had left out details when I told the story, but I told him most of the important stuff. My past was complicated and I didn't know how much was too much to tell.

I added, "Bull, if they are here...then it's possible they haven't stopped looking for me. What if they knew that I had volunteered? What if they are here to make sure that I never go home?"

Bull pulled me in tighter and said, "I won't let that happen to you."

I whispered, "I'm terrified of what might happen if they find me."

Bull nodded as he continued to hold me. The fear spoke for itself. He whispered softly in my ear, "I promise you that I won't let anything happen to you. Just like Sergeant Jefferson and Sobel. I won't let these Lerner boys harm you."

I wiped the tears away from my face as I rested my head on his shoulder.

He added, "Thank you for telling me. It explains so much about you."

"What does?" I questioned.

"It tells me why you're shy and withdrawn from people, why you are not quick to trust and why you're scared to let people near you. You're very brave, Emmeline, to trust me with your story. Everyone in this Company loves you, but I feel blessed that you trust me enough to tell me what happened," he explained.

I nodded as I stood up from the cot. "Thank you for listening to me and protecting me this long."

"I'll be sure to continue to do so. I give you my word on that," he promised.

I smiled at him, wiping the rest of the tears from my face as I replied, "Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

He returned the smile. "You as well, Emmeline."

I turned and walked out of the room, feeling a little bit of the weight on my shoulders suddenly lifting.


	54. Veghel

The next morning, I woke up feeling surprisingly well rested for the first time in months. I began to wonder if it was because I had shared so much with Bull the night before.

I was greeted by one of the residents who gave me some food for breakfast. I thanked them as I began to eat.

My eyes caught Bull's gaze. He smiled and nodded at me. I returned the gesture, feeling a closer bond with him.

Webster suddenly appeared next to me. "Where've you been, Emmeline?"

I jumped slightly from his sudden appearance. "Oh! Web...scared me."

"Where've you been all night?" he asked again.

I replied, "I was checking up on Randleman, then I fell asleep."

He eyed me, expecting more, but sighed, letting it go.

Word reached us about our new orders. A smaller group would head over to Uden to defend against a Panzer attack that the Dutch Resistance warned us about earlier, while the rest of the companies hunkered down in Veghel.

Winters had already ordered everyone into units and we moved out.

As we headed towards our destination, Webster muttered, "I wonder if D and F companies will help or just sit behind us while we do all the work."

I lifted my head at the mention of Dog and Fox Companies joining us. "They're coming?"

Webster nodded. "Yeah, they're going to be in Veghel. The Dutch Resistance said that the attack is supposed to happen in Uden, so hopefully we will be set up there."

I didn't know what to think. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in Veghel or in Uden. I was also unsure if the reason I was unsure of where I wanted to be was because Dog Company would be in one of those locations.

When we neared the highway that stretched between the two towns, word had gotten to us where we would be heading.

Winters and Nixon took a small group of men forward toward Uden, while we headed to Veghel. Webster was happy to hear that he was going to be out of the fight this time around.

I was suddenly on edge as we neared Veghel because I could see Fox and Dog Companies already there waiting for us.

We were greeted by the other companies as we walked further into the town. A couple of Dog Company men saw me and smiled.

I felt awkward in their presence. I blinked at the gesture, but was nervous to return it.

Speirs suddenly appeared before all of us. He started to talk with the man set in charge of our unit. I watched the exchange for a short spell, before we made our way through the town. There was nothing for us to do except wait.

I sat down on a bench outside a shop and began to sort through the ball of dog tags that I had accumulated since being here. I cross checked them in my notebook to make sure that there would be no duplicates.

A panicked voice shouted, "They're changing course! They're heading this way!"

My heart stopped. I quickly tossed my things into my pack and stood up.

Just as I stood up, the ground under me shook violently. I could hear planes overhead blasting by as they dropped bombs onto the city we were in.

Tank bursts blasted through buildings which caused debris to rain down on the men running for cover.

Another earth shaking blast happened nearby and it knocked me to my knees.

The loud explosions, planes strafing overhead and the muffled shouts around me caused panic to start creeping up.

I struggled to get to my feet with each explosion.

"Find some cover! Get to some cover!" shouts near me cut through the noise.

I felt a pair of hands grab my jacket at the shoulders, lifting me to my feet and pushing me towards the shop closest to us. The door was already open as I was pushed further inside.

Once inside, I was pushed to my knees. A hand reached in front of me, pulling open the door to the air raid shelter. I didn't have to be asked to jump inside, but because I was scared of the situation around me, I fell into the shelter.

I heard the boots run down the stairs behind me. I started to get up onto my feet, when I felt the hands grab me again, pulling me away from the door.

When we were in the corner of the shelter, I looked up at the person who had come to my rescue. It was Speirs.

My heart stopped and my breath hitched. I looked at him for a moment before he finally looked back.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head, unable to form words. I was scared. The bombings were growing in frequency and I began to worry what would happen.

A blast landed close to where we were, it shook even the shelter violently. Dirt and other light debris came falling from the ceiling. I huddled closer to the floor, waiting for the follow up blast.

When the second blast landed, the building started to come in on itself. I shrieked from the fear of what was happening. I felt Speirs grab me, shielding me with his body. We stayed like that for the remainder of the night.


	55. Letters to the Demoralized

The next morning, I felt Speirs shaking me slightly. I opened my eyes and looked up to see him hovering over me.

I blinked a couple of times as I started to sit up. "What happened?"

He looked me over before saying, "It's morning."

I released a heavy sigh. "Are we okay?"

Speirs shrugged. "The Germans moved away from here and began attacking Uden early this morning."

I asked, "Do you think they are still alive?"

Speirs looked at me before standing up. "We have to get out of this shelter and check the lines."

I stood up and asked, "Is it safe? I mean, are we sure the city isn't overrun with Germans?"

Speirs glanced over at me before replying, "Only one way to find out."

He motioned for me to follow him and I hesitated for a moment. I was scared. That night of bombing was terrifying and I was afraid of what could happen if we were they only survivors of the night.

As we started to climb out of the shelter, we could hear orders being shouted about. They were in English.

Speirs climbed out first and looked around. He turned back to me, extending his hand and pulling me out of the damaged shelter. As I was stepping out, my foot caught on the door and I fell into his arms.

Embarrassed, I withdrew quickly. "I'm sorry."

He studied my face but said nothing as he turned from me. I followed him out of the damaged building and into the town square.

Seeing the damage that happened in the course of one night, I feared that we would have heavy casualties. Instead, everyone was accounted for. I eyed everyone who came out into the square.

A British officer approached Speirs and me. He smiled and laughed. "You chaps took a nasty beating last night! You're lucky we were able to fight off those Krauts for you."

Speirs didn't look impressed. He nodded his thanks to the man but didn't regard him any further.

When the officer realized that Speirs wasn't going to say anything, the man turned to me. "I hope you weren't too frightened dearie. We came as fast as we could with our pilots."

I forced a polite smile. "Thank you. We appreciate your help."

Speirs glanced over at me before ordering, "Nurse Banks, I believe you have work to tend to."

I furrowed my brow at him, but didn't argue. I looked back at the British officer and nodded my thanks as I brushed by both men.

As I walked further away from Speirs, I watched as men rejoined the group. One of them was Webster.

Webster spotted me, smiled and ran towards me. When he reached me, he pulled me into a strong embrace. "I'm glad to see you!"

"You as well! That was a terrible night!" I recalled.

He nodded as he released me. "I never want to do that again!"

I shared his thoughts. I asked, "Do you know what's happened to the others in Uden?"

Webster shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm worried they might have been wiped out."

Fear struck my heart at the thought of those men being killed. Winters, Nixon, and several others had been in that town when we were attacked. I couldn't fathom the idea of losing our Company Commander and half of our Company due to such an attack.

Webster must have seen the distraught look on my face. "Hey, you okay?"

I swallowed, nodding only slightly. I wasn't sure if I was or not, but what could I possibly say? I turned and walked about aimlessly, searching for something to do, someone to patch up, but there was nothing to do. Nothing but wait for orders to come to us.

It wouldn't be long before we heard the cheers coming from our scouts and sentries. Looking up at the gate, we watched as the men who held Veghel walked into our little town.

There wasn't a man in either group that wasn't happy to see the other. It was a mutual elation to see that both parties had survived the night with no causalities.

I met Winters gaze as he scanned the town and smiled back at him warmly. I felt my nerves relax and a heavy sign escape my lips. I never wanted to relieve a moment like this.

That night, the entire Company stayed in Uden to rest. The past couple of days were a failure. A failure that impacted the entire Company hard. Word had gotten to us that Operation Market Garden had not gone according to plan. Everyone agreed with those words, but didn't think that those in charge had fully understood what we had gone through.

We had started this operation with over 10,000 men, and by the end of it, about 8,000 men had died or were badly wounded. We didn't succeed in getting any more ground or pushing the enemy back. All we felt we succeeded in was killing a large portion of our men.

The Dutch Resistance had informed us that the Germans had already made a push into territory that we had tried to take a hold of, but failed. The Germans had also resupplied, refitted their gear and were practically three steps ahead of where we were. Upon hearing all of the news, our men continued to feel demoralized.

The only thing that seemed to help boost their moods, even for a moment, was the mail that found its way to us. We hadn't seen personal mail in a long time and the men were excited to focus on something else, something more positive than where we currently were.

I was handed a thick letter. It was from Darla. I smiled as I held the precious letter in my hands. It seemed like so long ago that I had heard from her. I knew that I had written her many letters, most of them bad news. I hoped that I wouldn't hear anything terrible from her about the others.

I sat by myself under a tree and began to open the letter.

Dear Emmeline,

Colonel Sink stopped by today. He handed me your letters. I also got the letters you sent back with the wounded. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. It really does help me through each hour knowing you are still alive.

Poor Sarah...My heart is broken with the news of her death. We loved her so dearly, and I cannot believe that she is gone. I still cannot believe that she is gone. It seemed like yesterday when we were together. I have informed the others about her death. I am sure that they are just as devastated.

How is Gordon doing? I feel as though I should write to him as well, but I do not want to break his heart anymore than it is already. Perhaps I should wait.

One of your letters worries me. You opened up about your past again and I cannot help but worry about you. These Lerner boys seem quite terrible. Have you seen any of them yet? Do you think that you will see them? What will happen to you if they do find you? Oh, Emmeline, you must be careful! It's not enough that you're in the front, and to have this on you as well...I just can't imagine. Please be safe! I will see if I can find out anymore about their whereabouts from my end, but that isn't always easy.

Anne and Charlotte are both well. Neither one of them have had much happen to them in a long while. I sent them letters updating them on you, and of course, Sarah. They still are not as disciplined as you are about writing to me, but they have gotten better. I feel that they should get even better at writing once they hear about Sarah. At least, that's my hope.

I have seen so much death recently. I cannot begin to explain how it breaks my heart with each one. As nurses, we deal with each death differently, but every single one of us have held our tears until we are alone. We've all decided that it is best for the boys to not see our tears. This is the place where we are the brave ones and they are free to cry and ask for our comfort, not the other way around.

One of the nurses here was relieved of her duties because she couldn't handle the death anymore. Not one of us held it against her, or felt differently because of her being discharged. It's a painful thing to go through, as you know.

I hear the trucks pulling up. I guess I should end this so that I may tend to the next batch of wounded. Keep strong, Emmeline. Don't do anything reckless. I need you! I love you! I will await your next letter with much anticipation.

Forever your friend, with love,

Darla

I finished reading the letter and sighed heavily. It was short, but it wasn't filled with a lot of bad news as my letters had been. It was also nice hearing that Anne and Charlotte were both alive and well. I thought about replying to her letter now, but there was no one to take it back to her. Even if I did write to her, I'd have to carry it around with my until someone was being sent back to England.

I placed the letter in my pack with the others that I had gotten from her. I scanned the area around me. Almost all of the men were reading letters. It was a simple pleasure, but it was heartwarming to see the smiles on their faces.


	56. Never Be the Same

Easy Company was ordered to head towards Randwijk. Winters set up his CP there and began ordering patrols every night. One of the patrols he sent out was to occupy an outpost nearby. The men in the patrol had left while the rest of us stayed behind to rest up from the long journey to get to this point.

I sat by Randleman as I wrote in my notebook. It was a partial letter to Darla, but it wasn't one that I was going to finish right away. I wanted to make sure that I didn't send so many letters to her as I had in the past. Something told me that I needed to focus more on what was going on around me rather than spending it with my nose in the book.

Randleman asked, "How's Darla doing?"

I stopped writing in the book to look up at him. "She's good. As good as anyone can be when faced with death on a daily basis."

He nodded that he understood. "Did she have anything to say in her last letter?"

I shook my head. "Not really. Anne and Charlotte are fine. She's fine...worried about me, though."

"That's to be expected," he replied.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Is it?"

He smiled kindly at me. "You know it is when it comes to Darla."

I chuckled. He was right about that one.

Before I could add anything more to the conversation, the doors to our makeshift CP slammed open and one of our men shouted, "We've got penetration!"

The entire patrol that was sent out a while ago had come back, some limping into the building. They were carrying Alley who was bleeding badly from wounds. My heart stopped. I ran over to the table once he was situated on it.

Roe ran over and began checking him out as I continued to help clean up his wounds.

I couldn't make out what had happened but I knew that it was an ambush of sorts. There was so much yelling and blame being thrown about that it was hard to concentrate.

Winters finally shouted, "All right! I want every to assemble for a squad! Every man, let's go!"

Talbert began to assemble the men, shouting orders, waking everyone up. I looked up at Roe as we continued to work on Alley.

Alley had received numerous wounds from shrapnel that came from a grenade. He had gotten the brunt of the damage. The assembled men started to head out.

Winters stopped by us to look over Alley. He said, "Stay here with him. We will send word for you when we can."

I swallowed as I glanced up at him. He was heading out into battle without any medic. I shot a worried look over at Roe, who glanced at me in the same manner.

Winters exited the building and I asked, "Should one of us head out with them anyways?"

Roe shook his head. "He ordered us to stay. Help me with this."

We continued to work on the bleeding and scared Alley.

It was the worst night to sit and wait for word to reach us. Alley had calmed down, but we were still worried for him. His wounds were not life threatening, but we didn't have enough supplies to give him anything for the pain. He was toughing it out as best as he could.

I asked, "Should we head out to find Winters and the others?"

We could hear the faint blasts of the battle from where we were, but couldn't distinguish much outside of that.

Roe sighed. "I don't know, Emmeline. I think we should wait a little longer before we make any moves."

My nerves were getting the better of me. I bit my lip as I thought about what could happen overnight.

Roe replied, "I'm sure that he will send for us soon. Just relax."

I wished that I was as confident as he was.

Early the next morning, before the sun was completely up, Boyle came running up to us. "Let's go!"

It didn't take us long to grab our things to follow him back. I stopped next to Alley and whispered, "We'll be back, okay?"

Alley nodded. I turned and ran out the door to catch up with Boyle and Roe.

We arrived where the rest of the Company had assembled. Winters was explaining the plan to the men.

"Fix bayonets. Run on the red smoke." He watched every single man as they followed orders. Pulling out his smoke grenade, he pulled the pin and threw it as far as he could before he climbed out of the ditch. He sprinted across the field.

I watched with awe alongside the rest of the Company at his bravery. He didn't mind putting himself before the rest of his men. That was a mark of a great leader, one that we admired and loved.

The smoke finally billowed out of the small canister and every man hoisted themselves out of the ditch to follow their leader.

I couldn't keep up with the men. I found myself struggling to keep up with their speed. I realized that it was probably for the better that I be one of the last ones up to the line anyways.

The run seemed to last forever. In the distance, we could see Winters reloading his rifle as he continued to fire upon the enemy that sat on the other side of the dike.

Once the rest of the Company reached him, they immediately opened fire upon them. I finally joined the men on the crest of the dike and felt the urge to pass out. There was an entire Company of Germans in the field. They were taken off guard by our sudden attack, but the more we attacked them, the more suddenly appeared.

I knelt down beside the men as the attack continued. When I heard someone shout nearby, I quickly glanced over to my right. Boyle had gotten hit and was laying in the middle of the road. I pushed myself to my feet to run over to him.

I had help moving him off of the road, out of harm's way. I started to tend to his wounds.

Boyle looked up at me. "Am I going to be all right?"

I glanced down at his wound. It was a mortar blast that hit his left leg from the hip down to the knee. I could see that most of the flesh had been torn away from his body. "You'll be fine, Boyle. You'll be taking a nice long vacation in England, though."

He looked disappointed, but almost relaxed too. He was about to say something to me when several explosions began landing all around the dike. I threw myself over Boyle, shielding my head. I felt him hold onto me as I lay on top of him.

It felt like forever before it stopped. When it did stop, the sounds of guns being fired seemed to dissipate. I sat up, slightly embarrassed. I looked at Boyle who was smiling at me.

"Thank you for the hug, Emmeline," he jested.

I smiled, shaking my head at him. I finished giving him morphine and stood up when Guarnere and Christenson appeared next to us to take him on the stretcher.

Fox Company had suddenly appeared to provide assistance, which we were all thankful for, as we were severely outnumbered.

I approached the location of where our wounded were being assembled. We had a total of twenty-two wounded and one death, including those from Fox Company who had come to our aid. Dukeman was killed by a shot to the heart, while the others had various wounds. The Germans had suffered greatly with a total of fifty killed, eleven captured and over a hundred wounded.

I spotted Webster among the wounded. I approached him, giving him a worried look.

He seemed happy almost. When he saw my approach, his smile widened. "Em! There you are!"

"What happened?" I asked, clearly worried for him.

"I'm fine. Million dollar wound. Clear through the calf. I'm heading back to England," he stated, still wearing his calm face.

I suddenly felt depressed. He was leaving for England. I'd be alone without him. His words echoed in my mind again. I'll find you.

I realized that he would have to find me again, if he was cleared to rejoin us. He must have seen the struggle on my face and asked, "Emmeline? What's wrong?"

"You're leaving me...You've been shot...what's not wrong?" I stated.

His calm and happy demeanor suddenly changed. I wondered if he had even thought about that. "Emmeline..."

I fell to my knees next to him. "What am I supposed to do without you?"

I could feel the tears forming behind my eyes. He was my friend and I worried how I would survive without him near by.

"I'll come back to you, just as I did before. I'll find you again," he stated. He remembered his words and used them again. I wasn't convinced though and I think he knew that.

Roe approached us. "Emmeline? I think Captain Nixon was looking for you."

"Why would he be looking for me?" I questioned.

Roe shrugged at the question. I furrowed my brow and stood up. I asked, "When do the wounded get sent back?"

"Not until later this evening," Roe stated.

I looked at Webster. "Would you be willing to take Darla a letter?"

Webster replied, "On one condition."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You write to me when I'm in that hospital too." He smiled at me.

I nodded at him. I turned and began my search for Nixon.

It didn't take me long to find him. I saw Sink talking to Winters off to the side of the Company. Winters looked a little shaken up, but I couldn't really guess why.

I stopped next to Nixon and asked, "You were looking for me?"

Nixon sighed as he turned to face me. His face looked incredibly sad. My heart stopped. I feared what would come out of his mouth.

He began, "Emmeline, I need to tell you something. The same patrol that attacked our boys last night were returning from an attack they led on Opheusden."

"Wait...Opheusden?" The name sounded familiar to me.

Nixon's face continued to look grave. "That is the CP Major Horton was at."

My mouth fell open. I knew what was coming, but I was praying that he wasn't going to tell me what I felt was coming. "No..."

"Major Horton was killed, along with the rest of the outfit that held that outpost," Nixon stated sadly. "I'm sorry, Emmeline. No one survived that attack."

He was stalling from telling me the inevitable. I held his gaze, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I could feel my body shaking.

He swallowed as he ended his statement, "Charlotte was killed in that attack, Emmeline. I'm so sorry."

Once those words escaped his lips, I collapsed to the ground, unable to contain anything any longer. Sobs racked my body.

I felt Nixon kneel beside me, trying his best to comfort me, but I knew he wasn't sure what he could do for me. I wasn't entirely sure there was anything to be done.

There were no words that could express my state of emotion. There was nothing that I could say, let alone do at this moment. My heart had broken all over again, shattering into a million pieces.

Charlotte was the one person everyone loved. She knew when to be serious, when to have a good time. She knew what you were thinking by just looking at you. She had been one of my closest friends and she was gone. Charlotte had many ambitions planned for her life after the war. With her beauty and intelligence, every single one of us knew that she would make whatever she set her mind to possible. She gave us hope with every breath and suddenly, she was gone. My world was a darker place now that she was no longer with us. I wasn't sure I could survive this war if someone like Charlotte was taken.

Later that night, the wounded had been sent off to England. I couldn't work up the energy to write to Darla. Instead, Nixon took it upon himself to write to her. I was thankful to him for that gesture. I knew that Darla would understand why I couldn't do it myself.

I was able to gather myself for a moment that night, just long enough to find Luz.

Luz was also informed of Charlotte's death and was taking it just as hard as I had. Sitting beside him in the outpost we regrouped at, was Gordon. I realized that the three of us would become closer than anyone else in the Company because we had loved and lost together.

I sat next to them. I didn't speak. I looked at each one of them through my swollen eyes. They returned the gesture.

Luz reached out to me and pulled me into a strong embrace. Not one of us spoke. We didn't need to. This was all we needed. We just needed to be with one another, to mourn, to cry, to hold onto one another. As simple as it was, it was the best therapy you could get.

We stayed beside one another, holding each other the entire night, never saying a word.


	57. Being Checked Up On

The next morning, I woke feeling different. There was something inside of me that transformed overnight. I felt like it was in the best interest for me and those around me, to keep at a distance. I didn't want to get too close to anyone. Losing my two friends, watching those around me die, and knowing that it was far from over, made me withdraw.

I was alone in this world. Sarah and Charlotte were dead. Webster was wounded and heading back to England. I watched others from my Company get killed, some before my eyes. Moments like this, change a person forever.

The trip to our new location was a quiet one for me. I stared at the ground before me as I walked and avoided conversation with anyone who tried. I felt badly for the way that I was behaving towards those around me, but after a couple of hours, I had hardened myself to the new me. It became easier, slowly.

When we arrived to our new CP and outpost, we had learned that Winters had accepted a promotion that took him away from our Company. Hearing this news just solidified my beliefs of not getting close with anyone around me. It felt as though it didn't matter, death, wounds or promotion, I was losing them.

We heard the news of our new CO. Moose Heyliger was to take Winters' place. The men seemed to really take to him, but I was still keeping my distance. I was afraid that he would end up like the others. I wasn't sure I could handle that if he left too. War was hell when it came to losing those you cared the most about.

I sat alone in the makeshift med station alone. I wrote aimlessly in my notebook to Darla. I wrote about Charlotte's death, which she knew about already due to Nixon's letter, but I felt that I owed her that much.

As I sat there alone, I heard boots entering the room. A friendly voice behind me cleared and I turned to see who had come into my building.

"What brings you here, Lieutenant Heyliger?" I asked as I returned my gaze to my notebook, slowly closing it.

He didn't move closer. "I came to see how you were faring."

"I'm okay," I stated quietly.

"The men are a bit concerned for you. To tell you the truth, I'm a little worried myself," he replied. I could hear it in his voice that he was truly concerned for me.

I turned around to face him. "I'm just a little down, that's all. I'll be fine."

"Is this about Charlotte? She was a terrific woman," he stated.

I gave him a half smile. "Yeah, she was."

He stepped towards me. "What else is on your mind?"

I swallowed. "Nothing, sir."

"That's not how it seems to the rest of the company, Emmeline." He stopped a few feet before me.

"How does it seem to the rest of the company?" I questioned.

"You've become a recluse. People have noticed it and they are quite concerned for you." He studied my face as he spoke. I could read his frustrations when I didn't have any emotion for him to read.

"Thank you sir, but I'll fine. I think the boys just need to give me some time," I mused quietly.

He nodded. "Take all the time you need, but Emmeline, may I make a suggestion?"

I held his gaze as I waited for his statement.

"War is a terrible thing. You become close to those around you. They become family, brothers - and sisters - and you love them as you would family and friends. The thing is when they are killed or taken away from us, it's the worst feeling in the world. You feel hollow, you lose track of why you are here and those around you that need you the most. Don't forget that you have several others that need you here. They need you. We need you... I need you here." He lowered his gaze to his boots before looking back to meet my eyes.

He added, "I know you've distanced yourself from me because I'm new to the company, and I understand your reasons. Just know that I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay and help you and the rest of this company make it through this war. I give you my word on that."

I could feel tears forming behind my eyes. I didn't know what to say to his speech, so I just nodded to let him know that I understood what he was telling me.

He turned and headed towards the door. Before he walked out of the building, he stopped and said, "Take all the time you need to heal, Emmeline. I'll be here for you when you're ready. Just don't lose who you are because of this war."

With that said, he stepped out of my med station. I wiped the lone tear from my face. Perhaps I was wrong with my thinking.

Early the next morning, I heard a knocking on the med station door. I got up and headed over to it. Once the door was opened, I was face to face with several men, mostly British soldiers.

I blinked at them. "What can I do for you?"

Heyliger walked in, with the rest of the lot following him. He explained, "We just completed Operation Pegasus and some of these nice chaps need checked out."

I glanced at the men who walked in, making themselves at home. "Okay...I'll get started then."

"Do you need a hand with anything?" Heyliger asked.

When I raised an eyebrow at his question, he added, "I can give you a hand if you need it."

I forced a smile. "Thank you for the offer, but I think I've got it under control. If you see Doc Roe, send him my way. I know you're busy."

Heyliger seemed defeated. He shrugged at me. "Sure thing."

I turned away from him and began tending to the minor wounds of the British soldiers who were rescued earlier in the evening.

Most of the men were in need of a clean bandage. There were very few that had any substantial wounds. I cleaned out the wound before putting a fresh bandage on.

A couple of men standing near the door were pacing. I tried to ignore them. When one of them complained, "Oy! Come on now! They're having the blasted party without us, yeah? Can't you move any faster, darling?"

I whirled around. "Go then! What's keeping you here? You're fine. So, what's the problem?"

He looked taken back by my sudden lashing. I held my ground and gaze at him. He shrugged at me. "Yeah, all right. Let's go."

I watched as his friend followed him out the door towards the celebration party of their rescue.

I signed heavily as I turned back to the man I was working on. I didn't say another word as I continued my job.

The man chuckled. "I've never seen his eyes get that big before."

I glanced up to meet the man's gaze. He was smiling wide and had a twinkle in his green eyes.

I smirked. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blown up like that. I should probably apologize to him later."

"Oh, please don't. He needs to be brought down a notch or three," the man stated.

I chuckled. "Is he one of those then?"

He nodded. "He is. The worst of the lot."

I kept working on his wounded arm, nearing completion. The man asked, "What's your name, love?"

I didn't look up from his wound. "Emmeline."

"Beautiful," he whispered. I could feel his gaze on me. I shifted under the intense stare.

I swallowed nervously. "What's your name, soldier?"

"Lowe. William Lowe," he stated.

I bit the inside of my lip. "Well, you're good to go, William Lowe. Keep it dry and have your medic change the bandage every day."

He blinked at me as he pulled his coat back on. "Would you like to join me?"

I furrowed my brow at him. "Join you?"

"Across the yard...the party?" he asked.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. I hadn't had a lot of invitations from men to join them in parties, and it was a new experience. I smiled at him. "Thank you for your invitation, but I can't."

He looked sad with my reply, but asked, "I guess it would be pretty inappropriate, wouldn't it?"

I nodded as I gave him a half smile. "I'm sorry. Perhaps if it were under different circumstances."

"What if I stayed here? We could talk or-" he was interrupted by boots entering the room.

We glanced over to the door to see Speirs standing there. I could see Speirs glaring at Lowe. I wasn't sure what is issue with him was, but I was worried for the man.

I turned my gaze back to Lowe. "I'm sorry, but I'm busy, as you can see."

"Never a break for a nurse. I understand. Thank you for your kindness, Emmeline." Lowe did a half bow before me then walked across the room. He passed Speirs cautiously before he exited.

I stood there waiting for his move. I asked, "What brings you here, Lieutenant?"

He stood firmly in place. "I came to see how you were holding up."

"In regards to?" I asked.

He narrowed his dark eyes. "You know what."

"I'm fine. I'm dealing with her death as best as I can." I watched as he moved closer to me.

"And how are you handling the distance between you and Private Webster?" he asked, suddenly stopped only a short two feet from me.

"Nothing goes unnoticed by you, I see," I stated.

He held my gaze. "Not much does. I also noticed that you had started biting your lip earlier when that Brit asked you to the party."

I inhaled deeply before letting it all out at once. "Spying on me again?"

"Checking up on you," he corrected.

I nodded slowly. "Well then, you should have seen that I declined said invitation."

"I did and I want to know why." He studied my face.

I blinked at him. "What?"

"Why didn't you go with him?" he asked with his dark voice.

I swallowed. "I had stuff to do."

"Such as?" he questioned. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't believe a word that I was saying.

I turned away from him. "I have to stay here in case something comes up and they need my help."

"You're a terrible liar, Miss Banks," I heard him say.

I whirled around to retort, but he was standing behind me. I turned smack into his chest. Surprised, I tried to step back, but bumped into my desk. I was trapped.

"Tell me something, Miss Banks. Why is it that someone like you always tries to do the right thing...the thing that usually ends up making other people happy? Why do you keep yourself so locked up behind your walls?"

I stared at him. "I don't make other people happy."

He smirked. "Of course you do. You have since the day that I met you. Pleasing people, keeping the peace, covering up for those that want to do you harm...need I go on?"

"What are you getting at?" I questioned, unsure where he was going with this.

"You declined that boy's invitation tonight. Why?" he asked.

"I told you-" I was interrupted.

He stated, "You told me what you think I wanted to hear. What's the real reason for declining?"

I held my gaze with him. "I didn't want to get too close."

"Too close?" he repeated.

"Yes. After losing Charlotte and Webster, I-" he cut me off again.

"Ah yes, Private Webster. You never did answer my question about how you're doing without him," Speirs mentioned.

I asked, "What do you hate about him?"

The look on his face changed. He had a look of regret on his face for a split second before it reverted back to his hardened self. "I don't hate him. I envy him."

"Envy him? Why would you envy anyone, least of all him?" I asked.

Speirs turned to leave but I stopped him by grabbing his left arm. He looked at my hold before pulling away from me. He headed for the door and stopped. "Good night, Nurse Banks. Take care of yourself. I hope to see you again."

It wasn't until he was out of the door that I realized that he was saying good bye to me. I closed my eyes as I replayed the conversation with him. Had I known that he was saying goodbye to me, this last moment would have turned out differently.


	58. Say Something

Panicked banging on my door startled me awake. When I realized that I wasn't dreaming anymore, I rushed to the door, throwing it open.

Standing before me was a terrified sentry. His eyes were the size of dinner plates as he stood before me trembling as though he saw something horrible. I could see all of the pigment in his flesh drain and the sweat running down his face.

"What's happened?" I demanded to know. Something bad had happened and I was about to look like this poor kid standing before me.

The kid stammered, "Please, hurry!"

I furrowed my brow at his request. "What's happened? Hurry where?"

He started to run, motioning me to follow him.

I quickly grabbed my pack before running after him in the middle of the night.

As I ran after this kid, I felt my nerves building. My heart was pounding so hard that I feared that my ribs would break. I felt sick to my stomach as I feared what I may find when we neared the location he was leading me to.

The kid led me down a darkened path along the dike to the outpost that I knew Harry was manning. I began to worry that something had happened to Welsh and his men, but when we stopped on the path half way there, I spotted a worried Welsh kneeling beside someone else.

My heart stopped and my breath hitched in my throat.

Lying on the ground was Heyliger. I rushed over to his side as I started to examine his wounds. I glanced up quickly at Winters, who looked to be shaken up.

"What happened?" I asked, trying not to let my fear obvious.

Winters replied, "We were on patrol. A sentry shot at us."

I examined Winters for a second. "You're all right?"

Winters nodded. "I'm fine. Heyliger got shot two times. I've managed to bandage the leg...it looked pretty bad."

Winters was right. Heyliger had a clean wound through his right shoulder but the shot in his left calf was worse.

Roe suddenly appeared next to me and began helping with Heyliger's wound. He asked, "Give him anything?"

"Morphine," Harry and Winters replied in unison.

I glanced down at Moose. His skin started to look waxy. I asked, "How much did you give him?"

Roe looked over at Moose. When he saw what I did, he waited for an answer, glaring at the two officers.

Harry looked at Dick. Winters answered, "I think...I think maybe three?"

Harry added, "He was in a lot of pain."

Roe snapped at them. "You give him morphine and you don't remember how much? You are officers! You should know better!"

I looked back at Moose. "Moose? Can you hear me? Say something..."

He gave me a sad stare. I saw the tears falling from the corners of his dark eyes. My own tears began to fall.

I repeated, "Say something...please..."

Two men came running up to the fray, carrying a stretcher. They had brought an ambulance to cart him away.

Moose and I held each other's gaze. I whispered, "Please...say something. You said you'd never leave me...Don't leave me."

The men pushed me aside and began picking Moose up to place on the stretcher. Once they got the man on the stretcher, they hoisted him away. Moose closed his eyes, breaking our contact.

Roe climbed into the ambulance with Heyliger and the two with the stretcher. Winters slammed the doors closed and pounded on them to let the driver know that he was cleared to go.

Harry, Dick and I stood there, watching them drive away into the darkness.

I walked back to my room alone. I prayed that Heyliger would live through the night. If he could live until morning, he had a chance of living through this wound and near overdose of morphine.

When I entered my room, I broke down as soon as the door closed behind me. I rest my back against the closed wooden door and cried. I could feel the tears streaming down my face in quick succession. There was no stopping them.

My legs betrayed me, causing me to collapse to the floor. I held my head in my trembling hands.

This was becoming too much for me to bear. Everyone who said they would be there for me was gone. I had lost Sarah and Charlotte. Webster was wounded and I wasn't sure when I would see him again, if at all. Speirs had come to say goodbye to me and I hadn't realized how much his absence was affecting me. Then Heyliger was taken away. Everything was happening in such a short amount of time, I feared what would happen to the rest of the men that I cared about. What would happen to Anne and Darla? What would become of me?

All of these questions echoed in my head all at once. There was nothing to do. It frightened me knowing that it was only a matter of time before I lost someone else who was dear to me.

Suddenly, Heyliger's last words to me resonated within me. Don't lose who you are because of this war. I feared that it was already too late for me. I cried in my room alone, thinking of those I had lost, those who I hadn't and what would become of me.


	59. Changed

A week later, we had gotten word from Heyliger. He had survived, but wouldn't be returning to the war. He was out for good.

Winters came into my med station with a letter from Heyliger. "I thought you might want to read this."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Moose wrote a letter to me, and mentioned you. I thought you should read it yourself," he stated.

I bit my lip. I hesitated. "Are you sure?"

Winters offered me a kind smile as he extended it to me. "That's why I brought it with me. He wanted to tell you something."

I took the letter from him. I stared at the paper, unsure if I should read it. I mustered the courage to open the folded paper.

Dear Dick,

Here I am, laying flat on my back, taking it easy. I want to thank you for taking care of me that night I got hit...You, Harry and Emmeline. It sure is a stupid way to get knocked off.

I arrived here as naked as a jay bird. Didn't have a thing. I know you have my wings and pistol, but I am sweating out the clothes in my bed rolls and the rolls of film in my musette bag...

Dick, they put casts right over my wounds and it smells as if a cat shit in my bed. I can't get away from that stink!

I know that I shouldn't ask this of you, as I already owe you one for saving my life, but I need a favor. Take care of Emmeline for me. I promised her that I wouldn't go anywhere, and then something as stupid as this happened. I broke my promise to her and I know that I let her down. I don't know if she will ever be able to forgive me for that. If you keep an eye on her for me, I think I might just be able to fulfill my promise to her through you. She's a sweet girl, but very scared, Dick. What makes someone like Emmeline scared of so much? It's just not right.

Tell Emmeline not to worry about me. Tell her that not to give up, not to distance herself...not to change because of this war. Can you do that for me?

Well, this is short, but my right arm is very weak. Remember me to all.

Moose

I stared at the words on the page. I read and re-read the letter. I finally pulled my eyes away from the letter and looked up at Winters. He was standing there watching me.

I handed his letter back. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

He smiled warmly at me. "You're welcome, Emmeline."

"So, what's to happen now?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked for clarification.

I stated, "I assume we're getting a new CO soon."

Dick nodded. "He should be arriving here later this evening. His name is Norman Dike. He's come highly recommended through Division HQ."

When I didn't say anything further, Dick asked, "How are you holding up?"

I sighed as I started packing up my things. "I've been better, but I'll manage."

"I know that you've been through a lot, suffered through more than most..." his words trailed off. I am not sure if he saw how my posture started to change or what it was, but he stopped talking about it.

He started to head towards the door, stopping just before exiting. "Hang in there, Emmeline. We're in this together."

I glanced over my shoulder to see that he had left already. Together, but alone...that's how I felt.

I stepped out into the cold morning light. I was packed and ready to move onwards. I had begun to harden myself, much like the veterans had to the recruits. I didn't really want to get to know them. It was becoming apparent that they wouldn't survive and I didn't want to have anything to get upset over.

As I waited outside for the rest of the company, I overheard Sink's assistant telling Winters the status update on the company.

"Sir, I was informed to brief you on the list of casualties endured since September."

Winters replied, "Very well."

The man stated, "Easy Company on 17, September had 154 officers and men. Easy came out of Holland with 98 officers and men. 49 men were wounded. The list of men killed in action during that time is as follows. Dukeman Jr., William. Campbell, James. Menze, Vernon. Miller, William. Miller, James. Van Klinken, Robert."

I heard a page turn as the man continued, "The Company has taken 65 casualties in Normandy, so the total currently at the end of November is 120 casualties with no prisoners of war."

I sat there, no longer listening in on the updated reports. I knew all of the names on that list. I could remember their faces like I had seen them yesterday. It broke my heart having to listen to them again.

I wanted to run away from it all. I wondered how others were able to cope with all of this death. I had been around death most of my life, but it was impacting me in such a way now that I wasn't sure who I was becoming.

Don't lose who you are because of this war. Heyliger's words to me. His last words to me. I wondered how I would be able to keep the same in this war. I realized that I needed to try for him.

We ended up in Mourmelon le Grand. The men were allowed free time, passes and showers. It was one of the easier places we had been in a while. The downside of such free time is that the men got drunk and started fights, causing many to end up in the hospital.

Some of our wounded started to return from the hospitals. Compton had returned and everyone was glad to have him back. With each man who returned, the company began to strengthen. For me, with each man returning, I had hopes of seeing Webster in the bunch. With each bus that drove away from our camp without Webster getting off, made me kick my hopes.

I kept busy in the med station, not allowing myself to enjoy this down time, not that I had a lot of that with everyone getting into fights. I did have some time to write letters to Darla.

I began to feel a little stir crazy from staying in my med station. I took a walk down the lane just to get some air and try to regroup with myself.

As I walked, I was suddenly joined by an unfamiliar presence. "Hello Nurse Banks."

I glanced over my left shoulder at the company that I suddenly had. "Oh, hello Lieutenant Dike."

He was a tall man, spoke with charisma and almost commanding tone. He seemed intelligent but I had heard several men in the company calling him names such as Foxhole Norman. They didn't have respect for him nor the hope for his leadership abilities. This had been my first introduction to him, so I didn't have anything to base my own opinions on.

"Mind if I walk with you?" he asked.

I nodded. "Sure. I'm just talking a little stroll."

"Sounds like a wonderful plan to me, Nurse Banks," he replied.

I bit the inside of my lip. He wasn't making me uncomfortable, but I was unsure of what he truly wanted or how he would treat me. I recalled moments with Sobel and even Sergeant Jefferson. Then I remembered Speirs. My heart sank a little from that memory.

"I've been hearing about a lot of the men getting sent to your med station," Dike began. "What are they doing there?"

"Various reasons. Some have colds. Some have gotten into fights. It really all depends on the person, I suppose," I stated.

Dike said, "I have to ask you something, Nurse Banks."

I looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Okay?"

We stopped in the middle of the lane. He asked, "When we are in battle, can I trust you?"

I didn't understand the question. "Sir?"

He gave me a questionable glance. "When the bullets are flying around us, and the going gets rough...can I trust you?"

"Trust me in what way, sir? I don't understand what you are asking me." I continued to hold his gaze with my confused state.

He sighed, seemingly growing frustrated. "I know how most young women are. They frighten easily. They want to hide when they are scared. I want to know that you are not like those women. Can I, Nurse Banks, trust you to be there when the battle starts to rage on around you? Are you going to stay hidden in your foxhole or behind the lines until the battle is over, or will you be there for those that are screaming for a medic?"

I was suddenly on edge with this man. This conversation was exactly what I didn't need. I felt bullied and not the same kind of bullied that I felt with Speirs. This was different. This was almost a dangerous kind and I was afraid of the man.

I replied, "I wouldn't be here, sir, if I was one of those women."

Dike didn't seem to believe my words. "Well, I guess we shall see when the time comes, won't we, Nurse Banks? And believe me when I say that if you fail to do your job in the heat of battle, I will not hesitate throwing you out of the company."

He walked away from me as I stood there alone, wide eyed by his threats. I swallowed and shook my head. I never thought there was a man out there worse than Sobel and Jefferson, but I just had a conversation of a man who embodied the worst qualities of both.

I walked back to the med station alone, trying to shake that uncomfortable conversation with Dike from my mind. As I neared my destination, I saw another truck of men returning from the hospital.

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help but look on like a giddy school girl. When the last man got off the truck and Webster wasn't in the mix, I turned and walked away from them.

Webster had said that he would return to me, but the more men who returned from that hospital had requested to come back or they went AWOL just to serve with Easy Company before they got transferred somewhere else. I realized that Webster was not in any hurry to return to me or Easy Company. He had always stated that he hated the military life and never wanted to willingly volunteer for it.

I shook my head after I realized that Webster wouldn't come back willingly. He'd sit in that hospital as long as he possibly could before returning. This left a bitter taste in my mouth, one that made me realize that he was not the person I thought he was, but then again, he never hid this fact about himself. Maybe it was me who had changed. I now understood why so many of the Toccoa men hated Webster. I was afraid that I would become one of those people.

I didn't want to hate him, but I also knew that if he didn't come back willingly on his own, I might not see him the same way that I did before. I wasn't sure that I would be able to love someone who did something like that. It was taking all of my energy to forget about what might become of Webster and me. The ball was in his court as far as I was concerned.

I sighed once I was inside the med station. Heyliger wouldn't be happy with me. I had changed and not for the better.


	60. Entering the Heart of War

The next few days went by in a blur. We watched as several different companies were ordered away from Mourmelon. This made the men in Easy anxious. We wanted to know where we would be heading. Every morning, Dike would order us to stand fast and await orders. None were coming, which made the men nervous. They knew that if we hadn't received orders yet, then we would most likely be heading into the Ardennes.

We waited for those orders, but it seemed like they weren't going to come.

I had all of my things packed and ready to go. I took the time to resupply my kit. I made sure to take an inventory of what I was taking.

As I was filling out the forms, a young Private entered the building. He crossed the threshold and asked, "Are you Nurse Banks?"

I nodded and asked, "What can I do for you?"

He handed me two letters. I took them from him. "Thank you, Private."

He smiled and walked away from me. Once he was out of the room, I looked down at the letters.

I began with Darla's letter.

Dearest Emmeline,

How I wish I could wrap my arms around you at this very moment. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. I know that you are in a dark place. I could see it in your words, the way you wrote your letter and I could see the stains your tears left behind. My heart breaks for you and I feel powerless to help you.

I got Lewis's letter about Charlotte. It broke me to read of her death. It also broke my heart knowing how you were handling it as he told me of your reaction to it. Oh, Emmeline, we were not meant to be in this war alone. I can do nothing more than to pray that you hold on and that you do not lose your way in this war.

I saw David Webster come in. He's asked for a lot of paper since he's been here. I'm not sure if he is writing letters to you and his family or if he is writing his accounts on war for his book that he keeps talking about. He did ask me once or twice since being here if I have heard from you, and if you are doing all right. He seems worried about you. Should I pass anything along to him?

Moose Heyliger was another person that I saw briefly. He told me all about the conversation you two shared right before he got wounded. He feels incredibly guilty for leaving you and breaking his promise. That is a wonderful man right there. He has only known you for such a short period of time, yet it seems as though he knows more about you than I do! Maybe it feels that way because we've been separated for so long. Boy, I miss you!

I find it interesting how Lieutenant Speirs had come to say goodbye to you. I wish that man would just come right out and say what he wants to say instead of turning everything into a riddle! Honestly, some men! I hope you see him again soon. He seems to really care about you, and frankly, you sound like you care for him.

I haven't had much luck in tracking down information about the Lerner boys. I wish I had something more to tell you about them. I will continue to try and find out more on their whereabouts, but I fear I may never be able to help you on that. The officers here are very secretive about things of this sort.

Emmeline, I miss you so very much! I wish that you were here with me. I wish Anne were here too. If at all possible, I hope the three of us will be reunited, even for a short while. It's very lonely here without you two, and it feels even more lonely without Sarah and Charlotte.

I love you, my sweet Emmeline. Write soon. Write often. Take care of yourself. Return to me soon!

Darla

Her letter helped and hurt with every word. It was nice to have the updates, but it killed me knowing that I couldn't be there with her. One thing was certain after reading her letter. I had to make sure to make it through this war for her. I had to make sure that I would return to her as I had left. I knew that I had changed over the course of several months and I also knew that I didn't want to return to her as I was now. She knew that I was changing just by the way I had written my last letter. If she could deduce that much change in the ink on the page, I knew I had to stop it from continuing.

I set aside Darla's letter and picked up the second one. It was from Webster. I opened it and quickly skimmed through it.

Dear Emmeline,

I am sitting in Darla's hospital here in England. I have asked her for some paper and have asked her about you. She said that she hasn't heard from you. I took it upon myself to write to you and see how you are doing.

I think about you every day, Emmeline. I wish that I hadn't been wounded so that I could be there with you. I worry about you and your safety wherever you are.

I have seen many of our men come into the hospital and leave just as quickly. They will not let me go, no matter how many times I have asked. I am trying to get to you, truly I am.

The happiest place in this hospital seems to be the amputation ward. The men going over that way are always laughing and joking around. They talk about what brought them there and how much they were looking forward to heading home. They don't seem the least bit concerned that they are about to lose a limb. All they want to do is go home.

I've been writing most of the time that I've spent here. It's the only thing really to do to past the time. I hope that my letter brings you some sort of comfort and you will write to me. Hearing from you would be the best thing for me right now. I miss you, Emmeline.

I hope you are safe. I will try to find you again, wherever you are. Please keep a lookout for me. I love you, Emmeline. Think of me as I will think of you. Don't forget me. I will continue to fight for my release out of here. Wait for me.

Eternally yours,

David

I found myself shaking my head after finishing the letter. I folded the paper and shoved it back into the envelope. I sighed heavily. I felt like I was being lied to when I read that letter. If he was truly trying to get out of that hospital, why hadn't he succeeded when so many others had? It didn't make sense to me.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I wanted to calm down and not think irrationally. I didn't want to make assumptions about Webster. I had to believe that he was speaking the truth when he wrote that letter. I didn't know all of the facts. It could be that he had been trying to get out of the hospital and back to Easy Company, but it seemed unlikely, knowing what I did about him.

I placed both letters in the stack of old ones in my pack. I wasn't sure what else to do, what else could be done. I was unsure of whether or not I would write to Webster, even though he asked me to. There was a part of me that hoped if I didn't write to him, he would return to me. There was another part of me that didn't care anymore.

A voice cleared behind me. I turned to look. Lipton stood in the doorway. "We're moving out. It looks like for a while. Better grab your things and hop in the trucks outside."

I nodded as I grabbed my things. I looked around the room to make sure that I had indeed gotten everything I needed to. Once I was satisfied with the glance over, I exited the building.

Outside had gotten extremely cold. I shivered at the frosty air. Pulling my coat closer around my body, I realized that it was only the beginning of Winter here. This kind of cold was bound to get worse. I dreaded that day.

I walked over to one of the many trucks and had help climbing in. The men were packed into the backs of the trucks, we were like sardines in a can. I was glad to have that closeness just for the warmth it provided.

The trucks didn't have any benches inside, so we had to stand the entire ride out to our destination, wherever that was to be. Standing in the back of the truck wouldn't have been so bad had the road not been so uneven and bumpy. I was thankful for all of the people in close proximity to me, not just for warmth, but I was thankful because I would have fallen down numerous times. Instead, I bumped into them.

It was so dark, we could see anything around us. We could make out the head lights from the trucks behind us as well as a few feet in front of us. The world around us was pure darkness.

Several miles away from where we began this ride, we had stopped. The orders came to climb out and stand by for further orders. Most of the men quickly jumped out to relieve themselves, while others quickly got fires started for warmth.

I huddled by a fire with a few others. I scanned the area trying to determine what we were doing out here. I spied Winters speaking to a few of the company commanders before Dike suddenly appeared.

Dike looked flustered. He was speaking and moving his hands around in such a way that it looked as though he was yelling. Winters turned to him, stopping their walk and spoke to him. Dike pointed to the others and everyone walked their separate ways.

I hoped Winters could see the mistake they made in giving command of this company over to someone like Dike. I truly hoped that he wasn't as bad as I had pegged him for earlier, but how could an entire company be wrong about one man? They felt the same about Sobel and it turned out to be true.

"It's so damn cold! I feel like I'm pissing icicles!" someone grunted as he walked by.

I turned to see who had said it, but there were too many men huddled around fires that it would have been impossible to tell. The one thing that I did notice was how many men didn't have winter clothing, like myself. This was going to be a miserable experience.

"Easy Company! Move out!" a shout was heard.

Every single man in the company assembled into columns for the trek into the woods. We still didn't know what our objective was, but we were glad to be moving, even for heat.

No sooner did we enter the forest of Bastogne, could the firefight be heard. Where it was, no one could pinpoint. With each step into the darkened forest, we began to understand what we were meant to do.

Without warning, we came across a large mass of men from another company. Most were running almost in a daze. The ones who were limping and walking out of the forest, were the ones shouting at us.

"Run! Run! Get away from here! They'll murder you! They'll kill you! They have everything! Tanks, machine guns, artillery! Don't go in there!"

We stopped to watch them run away. Most of them dropped their weapons and other equipment that they were carrying with them. It was almost as though they were relieving themselves from their duties. I could see the stress and fear on their faces.

Gordon grabbed one of them by the shoulders. "Do you have ammo? Where's your ammo?"

"Here, take it! I'm happy to give it to you!" the man stated as he pushed the half empty pouch over to Gordon.

Gordon and I exchanged worried glances. It was terrifying to see our men behave this way. It was as though they had never seen a battle before. Whatever was in this forest was clearly going to be worse compared to anything we had seen thus far.

We were ordered to stop for a moment. We could see Colonel Sink approaching us. He explained, "Ike wants us to hold the crossroads to Bastogne. He believes that the Germans are using those roads to move their heavy artillery and tanks through. We will be sending members of the 82nd and 101st to fill in the gaps to hold the lines. 3rd battalion will push on to Foy and use 2nd battalion to protect their right flank. Easy will hold the road East of Bastogne with Fox Company on their right with Dog in reserve."

My heart sank as I thought of Dog Company being in reserve. Who knew when they would be brought in for reinforcements. I wondered if I would see Speirs sooner than we expected. It felt like forever since I had seen him.

The sounds of the firefight going on deeper into the woods seemed like they were growing louder by the moment. It was at this moment that we realized the severity of the situation. We would be behind enemy lines, facing new threats just to secure a road. The men we had passed earlier were suffering from shell shock and it was going to impact our boys just as hard. At least that was my belief.

Sink looked at each one of us and added, "Stand strong and fast. Remember our motto. Currahee. We will defend this area until further notice. Don't let those Krauts take any ground. Dig in deep. Hold this ground. God bless each and every one of you. Take care."

With that said, he walked away from us. I was suddenly worried. He never said anything like that before. I wondered if he thought this was a silly plan, one that could wipe out an entire battalion.

Wide eyed, I followed the men deeper into the woods. It was only a matter of time before we would arrive at our destination. I prayed that we would survive until we were relieved, but no one had high hopes. In fact, most of the men were asking to fill out the forms for a Will, or at least to have paper to fill one out and pass over.

So we entered the world of the great unknown. The world was dark but we could hear the battle raging on before us. This was it. This was the heart of the war. What would become of us, no one knew. But we entered into it, side by side, just as we were trained to do. This was what we were meant to do.


	61. Cold

Over time, we had grown accustomed to the way things operated deep in the woods of Bastogne. Daily patrols were sent out but just like the enemy, our patrols would run into the enemy lines. It became a frequent thing that we had complained to our commanding officers about the huge gaps in our lines. We were getting lost trying to find our men on the flanks. It never failed that we would see a small German patrol instead of our line.

Sink had brought McAuliffe to ask Winters and the other officers for an update. After explaining the situation to him, McAuliffe left with the order to hold the lines and fill the gaps. The surprising thing to all of us was that McAuliffe had listened to what we were struggling with. He provided Dog Company to fill in the gaps on the right of 2nd battalion. McAuliffe even brought booze for the wounded to help ease their pain.

It was a small gesture, but it was something that every man appreciated. He was doing what he could given our circumstances. There was still a shortage of ammo and winter clothing, not to mention medical supplies, but the wounded men were happy to see the booze as morphine was precious and few.

Every morning, it seemed as though there was this heavy mist that clung to the ground. It gave us low visibility to the world around us. It never failed during those early morning hours that we would have at least one German who had gotten turned around and would end up surrendering to us. We grew more anxious knowing that even the enemy was getting lost in these woods.

I sat alone in my foxhole. I struggled to stay warm. Writing to Darla was something I did to pass the time, but after a couple of minutes, my hands started to shake so much that I could barely write legibly. I sighed, tossing my notebook back into my pack, which was always over my shoulders nowadays. Once it was back where it belonged, I crossed my arms, placing my hands under my armpits for warmth. The nice thing about sitting in the foxhole was the fact that you were hidden from the air that blew above you.

I heard someone approaching my foxhole. Within seconds, boots landed next to me. I looked up to see Doc Roe sitting down next to me.

"Hey Doc. What's going on?" I shivered.

He extended a rolled up bandage to me. "I know you're short on bandages, so I came to give this to you."

I grabbed it with shaky hands. "Aren't you short too?"

"I've got some spare ones from Spina," he explained.

I nodded as I tossed it into my pack quickly so that I could resume my position for warmth.

Roe looked like he was thinking about something. I asked, "What's on your mind?"

"I am not sure if I want to say this or not, but I know how you've been keeping a record of those that we've lost...and well, I found a bunch of dead troopers this morning when I was trying to find my way to 3rd. I thought maybe you'd like to...you know," he stated but stopped talking half way through.

"You wanted to let me know in case I wanted to catalog them," I said, finishing the sentence for him.

He nodded. "I'm not sure it's a good idea though."

I agreed with him. "I'll ask Winters first. If he lets me go, he'll most likely have a few men go with me. It shouldn't take too long to just grab dog tags and leave."

Roe didn't look like he was convinced. "If you say so."

"Hey, are you okay? You seem a little off lately," I pointed out to him.

He just nodded before he climbed out of my foxhole, leaving me alone just as he had found me.

I cautiously walked towards Winters and the CP. We were warned not to make much movement outside of our foxholes because of the enemy snipers that were active during light hours. When we weren't concerned about the snipers, we were concerned with the mortars that rained in on our position.

I approached his foxhole. He spotted me and motioned for me to join him inside. I jumped in and slid down to sit across from him.

"How are you doing, Emmeline?" he asked me with honest curiosity.

I shrugged. "I'm okay. Cold, but okay."

He nodded, understanding completely. He was another man in our company who wasn't dressed for the freezing temperatures. "How are you supplied?"

"Doc's been giving me things as he gets them. Got that Kraut bandage from the last one who stumbled into our line. It's better than nothing," I replied.

He studied my face before asking, "What else is going on?"

I sighed. "Roe told me about an old battle he came across when he tried to find 3rd the other day. He wasn't sure if I wanted to head over there to gather the tags for my catalog."

Winters hesitated in replying to my request. "Do you want to go?"

I licked my frozen lips. "I feel as though I've started this project and I really shouldn't abandon it now. Those men may never be recovered. Their families may never know that they were killed. They might get that message from the military saying that they are missing in action or whatever they say in those telegrams."

Winters listened to what I had to say. I added, "If I were one of those families whose son or brother or husband was killed in that little battle, I'd want to know. I wouldn't be happy with a question mark telegram. I think it's the right thing to do."

"I agree. I'm just concerned about where it is and what dangers may lie nearby," he replied.

I nodded. "I know. It doesn't have to be right this minute, but if at all possible, I'd like to try and get out there. It shouldn't take too long to grab the dog tags and return."

Winters gave me the same skeptical look Roe had given me earlier. He sighed before saying, "Let me think about it. I'll get back to you as soon as I know what to do. Will that do for now?"

I replied, "Yes. That will do just fine for now."

He smiled warmly at me. I could see the cold effecting his face as his nose and ears were bright red, more so than his hair. "Take care, Emmeline. It's going to get worse sooner than we realize."

I stared at him after that remark. He knew something was coming. Every one of us suspected that something bad was coming, but we never knew when. For some reason, I wondered if Winters had known of what to expect and when. I nodded and headed back to the line.


	62. Failed Patrol

Back at the line, Lieutenant Peacock had assembled the NCOs. I watched as the tension among them grew. Something big was happening. I glanced over my left shoulder and spied Roe.

Walking over to him, I asked, "What's going on?"

Roe replied distantly, "Looks like a patrol. They think they know where a German outpost is and sounds like they want to head in to remove it."

I looked back at the NCOs. "When is this happening?"

Roe stated, "As soon as this conversation is finished, would be my guess."

I sighed heavily. This made me uncomfortable. Seemed like they were taking a lot of men on this patrol. The enemy would most likely hear them coming.

It wasn't long before the men started to disperse to get things organized. Peacock looked at Roe. "You're coming along, Doc."

I exchanged glances with Roe. Roe whispered, "It'll be fine."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure about that?"

Roe shrugged. "No, but I figured that if I kept saying it to myself it was bound to become truth."

I gave him a worried look as he walked away from me. I watched as the rest of the patrol had assembled. There were a lot of men for this mission.

They had left all of their things behind in their foxholes, carrying only their rifles, ammo and grenades. I watched as they headed into the foggy forest. I prayed that they would be okay, but I felt sick to my stomach.

I turned away from them and headed into my foxhole. Sitting inside waiting for me was Spina.

"Where've you been?" he asked as I jumped in next to him.

I replied, "I was talking to Winters and then I saw Roe heading out with that patrol."

"Just be glad that you're staying here," he stated.

"Why is that?" I questioned.

He replied, "Call it a gut feeling, but I'd rather deal with the mortars here than going out there. I'm sure that Roe will manage just fine, but I'm glad it's not me."

I bit my lip as I thought about what he was saying. I was glad that it wasn't just me who had a bad feeling about this mission, but I was too scared to admit it.

Spina asked, "So have you gotten word yet about going out to gather tags?"

I gave him a sideways glance. "No. How do you even know about that?"

"It's what you do, Emmeline. It's not like it's a big secret. Every man here knows about it. There are even a couple of guys who are volunteering to take you there just to get away from this stupid line for a while," Spina explained.

I hadn't really thought of it in that way. Everyone knew that just getting away from the line, even 50 yards away was enough to calm your nerves and allow you just a moment to regroup with yourself. I felt guilty for asking to leave the line and not giving anyone else a chance to have a break as well.

Spina climbed out of the foxhole and asked, "Oh, I was wondering...have you seen Dike lately?"

I blinked out of my thoughts. "No, why? Should I have?"

"I heard rumblings that he was looking for you," he stated.

"Me? What for?" I questioned with a confused look. Dike had made it pretty clear that he didn't like me.

Spina shrugged before leaving. "I don't know, but just know he seemed upset."

Once Spina was gone, I muttered to myself, "Of course he's upset."

The patrol had finally returned. Judging by the looks on their faces, I could tell that it didn't go as planned. I worried just how badly it had gone.

Heffron looked as though he was taking it the worst. I suddenly realized that his foxhole buddy, Julian, was no longer with him. My heart ached thinking about what had happened.

Before I was able to climb out to check up on him, mortars started to rain in on our position. They were sporadic, but it was enough to keep everyone in their foxholes. I curled up in the bottom of my foxhole as the barraging continued.

The ground shook violently under me, rattling my bones. I could tell when one landed closer to me than any other by the sounds around me.

Scattered screams and orders would get lost in the explosions. I kept my eyes tightly closed as it continued. I began to wonder if this barrage had anything to do with our patrol into the forest earlier.

Soon enough, it had ended. I slowly opened my eyes to see smoke floating around the night sky. I sat up, peeking over the edge of my foxhole to scan the area. I didn't hear any shouts for a medic, but I wondered if anyone needed help.

"Stay in your foxholes!" I could hear Lipton shouting somewhere nearby.

I sat back down in my cover debating on whether or not to climb out to check the line.

Lipton crawled over to my foxhole. "You okay?"

I glanced up at him. "Yeah, but I was about to check the lines."

"No. Stay here. We've got it covered," he ordered sincerely. I nodded but felt frustrated. I wanted to help, but I understood the order to stay put. This could be one of those moments to get us out of our cover long enough before they attacked again.

No sooner did the thought cross my mind, did the sky illuminate from one of their flares. I watched it as it came falling back to the earth below. I swallowed, waiting for the barrage to continue.

It took a few more flares before they attacked us again. This time it was much more frequent. I kept my head down, hands over my helmet, praying it would end soon.

This barrage lasted five minutes before they stopped. It was after the deafening blasts ceased that I heard screams for a medic.

I pulled myself out quickly and ran in the direction of the shouts. There were a lot of screams for help, that I wasn't sure if I was running in the right direction any more.

When I finally stopped at one foxhole, I saw a replacement grasping his hand. I climbed into his cover and asked, "What is it? What happened?"

He grimaced, "It's my hand! Oh God! It hurts!"

I examined him further, only to discover that his hand wasn't as bad as he had made it sound. I asked, "Are you hit anywhere else?"

He shook his head. "No! Just my hand!"

I looked at his hand again before saying, "I'll be back. I need to see if anyone else is badly wounded."

"What? You can't be serious! This is my shooting hand! What the hell am I supposed to do while I wait?" he spat at me.

I replied, "I'll be back. In the meantime, save your anger for the enemy."

He didn't like that response, but I didn't care. I didn't have time to bandage a wound that wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be. If he were a seasoned veteran from Toccoa, he would have agreed with what I had said and waited for my return without the fuss, or he would have just pulled the long splinter shard from his hand and wrapped it up himself. Unfortunately for me, that wasn't the case.

I ran towards another shout for help. When I got there, Roe was already working on the man. I climbed in anyways and asked, "Anyone else?"

Roe shook his head. "No. I think that was all of them. Who was back there?"

I replied, "Hand wound. He thinks he's going to lose it."

"And what do you think?" he asked as he continued working on the man before us.

I replied, "I told him that I would be back after I checked up on others. I think he just wants to get off the line, get sent to England or home for a splinter."

The man Roe was working on replied, "That sounds pretty good to me."

Roe and I smiled at him. He had a point. Everyone wanted to get sent home or back to England for a while. They hoped to get wounded just to get away from this place, but none of them willingly tried to find a way to get knocked off.

Roe stated, "I've got this. Find Heffron. I think he wanted to talk to you. I'll take the wounded to the aide station."

I nodded, climbing out of the foxhole. I asked, "What about the guy with the hand?"

Roe smiled. "I'll take care of it."

I smirked as I followed my orders. I headed to find Heffron.


	63. Another Name

I neared Heffron's foxhole. He sat inside, facing the line. I hopped in next to him. When he didn't say anything or give me a look, I asked, "You were looking for me?"

He replied, "Yeah. I wanted to tell you to add John Julian to your list of names for telegrams."

My face fell. Heffron had been one of those guys who tried to get to know the replacements. I wondered if he regretted the choice after this happened. "I'm sorry, Heffron."

He shrugged. "It is what it is, you know? Just...it makes me angry. He was just a kid! A virgin! He shouldn't have even been here, you know?"

I didn't speak. I knew he needed to vent, he needed someone to talk to. I knew this was why I was here.

Heffron began to tell me things about Julian that I wasn't sure anyone else knew about. When he was finished, he turned to me. "I don't have his tag, but you'll add him to your list right? You'll let his folks back home know?"

I nodded. "Of course I will. It's the least I can do."

Heffron's eyes started to mist over with tears. He turned away from me. "Thanks. I just didn't want him to be forgotten, you know?"

"I know," was all I could say. I sat with him a little while longer, just to give him that chance to add anything more. While I waited for him to speak or not, I wrote Julian's name in my book along with the others. He was yet another tragic casualty of this war. My heart broke with each addition to the list. Of course, my heart broke with the first name... Thomas Palmer. His death had impacted me in such a way that I never thought possible.

I even wrote Sarah's and Charlotte's names in my list as well, even though their families were already notified of their deaths by now. I still took it upon myself to make sure that I wrote them personally, maybe even visited their families. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

After I finished scanning my list and realizing that Heffron wasn't going to speak any more on the matter, I climbed out and headed back to my foxhole.

Along the way, I was stopped by an angry shout, "Nurse Banks! I've been looking for you!"

I froze in my tracks. I recognized the voice, but hadn't heard it with such hostility before. I turned around slowly to face him.

Dike approached me, clearly angry with me. I wasn't sure what I had done this time to make him angry, but I knew that I was about to get an ear full from him.

He stopped in front of me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I was taken aback. "Sir?"

"Is it true that you ran to a wounded man after that last barrage and left him unattended, untreated?" he shouted his questions at me.

I replied, "I examined his wounds and found that they were not a priority-"

Dike cut me off, "Not a priority? Is this what they teach you to do in the nursing training? Who gives you the authority to base those kind of assumptions? If a man is wounded, no matter how insignificant, you stay there and you treat it!"

I could see the men around us watching. Dike was making a spectacle of the situation, even though there was none to be hard. He was yelling at me in front of the men and I wasn't sure if they approved of this method.

"Do I make myself clear, Nurse Banks? Or maybe I should have you sent back to England?" Dike threatened.

Before I had a chance to reply, Foley approached us. "Sir? I need a word with you."

I glanced over at Foley. He was giving me a sympathetic look. I knew he was helping me out. I nodded my thanks.

Dike swore under his breath before following Foley a few away from me.

Dike asked with an agitation to his voice, "What is it, Lieutenant?"

Foley explained, "I wanted to speak to you about our medic, Doc Roe."

"What about him?" Dike questioned.

"Well sir, he has shown incredible bravery during our time here on the line. He's quick to get to the wounded and he is out there in the middle of it all to get to our men. I want to request that we give him the Silver Star for such bravery and dedication to the men."

Dike glanced between me and Foley before retorting, "And why should a medic get a Silver Star? Why should he get special recognition for doing his damn job?"

Before Foley had a chance to reply, Dike spat, "Let me guess, after that, you expect our nurse to get the same treatment? I don't think so, Lieutenant Foley. Now if you are finished wasting my time, I have a call to make."

We watched as Dike stormed away from us. I approached Foley who gave me a sympathetic glance.

I whispered, "Sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" he asked me, slightly annoyed.

I replied, "He's mad at me. If he wasn't, he might have taken your request more seriously."

Foley released a heavy sighed, letting his shoulders slump a bit. "It's all right, Emmeline. Something tells me that even if he hadn't been angry with you, he still wouldn't have given the request much thought. It's just unfortunate."

I nodded in agreement. If anyone was deserving of that medal, it was Roe. Foley had made excellent points as to why the man deserved that medal, but Dike disregarded it much like he had me.

Foley shrugged, giving me one last look before walking away from me.


	64. The Threat That Walked Behind Them

The next morning, I climbed out of my foxhole to walk about the line. My body was growing frozen just sitting. I knew that I needed to work them a bit to get them moving like they should.

As I walked towards the back of the line, two men from CP approached me. "Hey Emmeline."

I recognized them as runners that worked for Winters. I smiled. "Hi."

The tall man asked, "Are you ready to go?"

"Go where?" I asked, furrowing my brow at them. I wasn't sure what was going on. If I was to go to CP, I wasn't sure why I would need an escort.

The shorter of the two asked, "Have you not been informed?"

I shook my head as the man stated, "We've been ordered to get you to the old battle field to gather tags."

I nodded, finally understanding what was going on. "Let me grab some things first and I'll be ready."

They nodded and stood there waiting for me. I quickly ran to my foxhole and grabbed my pack which I had taken off the night before. When I finally got back to them, Dike was talking to them.

I was afraid of what he was going to say to me, to them. When I looked at them cautiously, Dike swore under his breath before storming off again. I looked at the two men who were waiting for me and asked, "What was that all about?"

"You have a very unhappy CO," the tall man stated.

I chuckled. "You have no idea."

"How is life with Foxhole Norman?" the other asked with a big grin.

I suppressed my laughter. "It's never boring."

We began to walk away from the line and into the frozen forest. It was eerily quiet and yet it held so much beauty. Everything was frosted with snow and ice creating a painting like world around us. If we didn't need to be on edge due to possible enemy contact, it would have been the perfect spot to just sit and soak it all in.

I stayed quiet as I followed the two men that Winters had sent for me. The two talked and joked about many things that didn't involve me. When we finally arrived to the frozen battle field, the three of us stopped in our tracks.

"Holy shit," one of them breathed.

There were no words for what we were seeing. It sent chills down our spines and we were just frozen in place, much like our brothers in arm and the enemy troopers. We had never seen anything like this in our lives and I knew at that moment that we hoped we would never see anything like it again.

Men's pained faces were completely frozen, mouths open from screaming. Many were grasping their wounds and most of the dead's eyes were still wide open, staring at you, begging for help, for mercy.

Most of the dead were covered up by the heavy snow that had fallen over the past couple of days or possibly weeks, depending on how old the battle was. They no longer looked human, but like marble statues in a graveyard.

Once the shock of their discovery wore off the two escorts, the taller one finally broke the silence. "So, what do you want us to do?"

I finally blinked back into reality. "Um...keep watch and start gathering tags."

The men nodded and started to head off in one direction together while I headed deeper into the middle of the battle field.

As I passed by the men, I began gathering the tags. I was careful as to where to step, knowing that I would most likely be stepping on more dead men. I took all of the tags, even those of the enemy. For some unknown reason, I felt that it was something that I should do.

I neared the far end of the battle field and knelt down to a soldier close to the edge of the open field. He was older than me and the look on his face didn't look like the rest of his men. Instead of having a face filled with fear and pain, his was serene, almost as if he had made peace with himself before he died.

Sinking to my knees, I examined his frozen face. It was hard to say for certain with his face being iced over with frost and snow, but he looked familiar to me. I pulled his tags off his chain and took a look at them.

Lerner, Murray.

My heart stopped as I read the tag. When I glanced back at his face and saw how serene and at peace he looked, I wondered how much evil he really had in him.

Thinking back on my past and how the girls at the home and I were treated by the Lerner boys, I knew that Robert was the one who was behind most of the evil doings that happened to us. Oswald was the least evil, though he had started to change over time, and of course, he was the first brother who was killed in this war, searching for me.

Chills ran down my spine when I thought about how close one of the Lerner boys had gotten to me. He was in this forest with me, behind the same enemy lines. My mind wandered with different scenarios as to what would have happened to me had he found me. But the more that I looked at the expression frozen on his face, I questioned everything. Perhaps in his final hours, he had begged for forgiveness and found that solitude. It was something that I hoped happened and if that was the case, I couldn't deny him of being added to my book. We shared history, but I was doing a job and whether or not I approved of adding his name to it.

I pulled out my notebook filled with the names I had been writing this whole time and scribbled his name in. I carefully placed his tag in the page with my pencil and sighed.

Looking back at him, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Murray. You shouldn't have been here. I'm sorry you died out here alone with no one to comfort you. I forgive you for everything."

I felt this way for every man that I found since this war started, but seeing his serene face, I couldn't help but feel that much more remorseful over his death.

The recruits were getting younger each day and due to their age and inexperience, they were dying young. It didn't seem right to me.

I inhaled deeply and started to stand up. Once I was on my feet, movement in the forest before me caught my attention.

When my eyes met those of the enemy trooper standing before me with his rifle aimed at me, I dropped my notebook, holding in my screams.

The German looked at me, motioning me to stay quiet. "Don't scream. Don't let your friends know that I am here or I will not hesitate to shoot you."

I swallowed, biting my lip to keep from giving away the man's position.

The man stated, "Give me that man's coat."

Furrowing my brow at the man, I asked, "Whose coat? His?" I pointed to Murray.

He nodded. "Quickly, please."

I glanced over my shoulder to see that my escorts were far away from me and busy with the task that I gave them. I began to wonder if I hadn't asked them for their help in gathering the tags, if they would have seen this man's approach.

I knelt down next to Murray and began taking off his hard coat. It was very difficult to do given the fact that it was frozen to the dead man's body.

Once I broke past the ice, I was able to remove it. It was still stiff to the touch, but it was off. I tossed it to the German.

He looked at me and stated, "Do not run. Do not move until I have put this on. If you do, I will kill you."

I was still kneeling next to the body of Murray, praying that I wouldn't be killed by this man. He set his rifle down next to him and began pulling the frozen coat over his own. He finished buttoning it up and grabbed his rifle.

He emerged from his hiding spot and grabbed my elbow, hoisting me up to my feet. He asked, "What was that man's name?"

"Lerner," I replied quietly.

He nodded. "Good. Call me that from now on."

"What is your plan? Infiltrate our lines as one of our own?" I asked.

He replied, "Yes, I plan to do just that."

"Then what?" I questioned.

"I guess that all depends on what I find," he replied.

I studied his face for a moment before asking, "How is it that you can speak English so fluently?"

He smiled. "How is it that you have men in your country that can speak German?"

I was nervous and it showed.

The man's face fell when he saw how nervous I was. "Do not let anyone know what is amiss. I will not hesitate killing you or your friends."

"What is your plan? You don't think you'll get away with this do you? I mean, you're just one man," I stated. My fear was starting to show in the tone of my voice.

His ice blue eyes met mine. "Consider this a reconnaissance mission, one that no one has to die, as long as you cooperate with me. If you don't then it becomes something entirely different."

"You don't sound German," I deduced.

He smiled. "I'm from Illinois, in fact. Makes me a better spy, I guess you could say. My whole outfit is entirely made up from Americans who have joined the ranks of the Axis."

"Why are you fighting against your own country?" I asked.

"Why do you ask such trivial questions? You picked a side, as have I. What difference does it make? We're opposite sides of the same coin. We have the upper hand here, as we have had this entire war. Perhaps you are the one who chose poorly," he replied, tightening his grip on my elbow.

I stared at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I feared for the men in my company. No one would suspect him to be a spy. No one would even realize that he was the enemy. He could kill every one of us in our sleep if he wanted to. I knew I had to do something, but I couldn't think of what I could do.

As we made our approach to my escorts, they looked at us confused. The shorter man asked, "Where'd he come from?"

Giving a quick sideways glance at the spy, I replied, "This is Lerner. He was hiding from the enemy back there."

The spy stated, "I'm lucky to have found you guys! I wasn't sure anyone was still out here!"

He was good. If I didn't know that he was the enemy, I would have believed his story without so much of a second thought. His tone of voice, his ability to convey such elation and emotion really was spectacular. I knew that if I was to say anything to anyone about him being a spy, no one would believe me. He was one of us. He had a history in the states, a hometown, favorite diner...everything he would talk about would convince anyone that he was one of us.

The escorts looked at me for a moment before the taller one asked, "Are we ready to return to the line? I think we're done here."

I nodded slowly. I hesitated in stepping forward, but my new friend still had his hold on me, pulling me forward.

So we walked together, the four of us, into the forest towards our lines. The escorts oblivious to the threat that walked behind them and I was powerless to do anything as I could feel the grip on my arm and the barrel of the spy's gun in my side.


	65. Break Free

"Where the hell are we?" my tall escort friend asked.

We stood in the middle of the forest, scanning our surroundings. I released a heavy sigh, hoping that we wouldn't find the line. I bit my lip as I waited for the next move.

The shorter man shook his head. "How is it that we got lost? I mean, we walked in a straight line, didn't we?"

When no one responded, the spy asked, "What if we headed this way?"

Everyone looked in the direction he was pointing. I was suddenly afraid that he was going to lead us into the German lines instead of the safety of our own.

A new voice spoke behind all of us. "Heading that way would get you killed, soldier."

We glanced over our left shoulders to see two men emerging from the heavy fog. When they were completely in view, my heart stopped and my mouth fell open.

Standing before us, scanning each one of our faces was Speirs and one of his men from Dog Company.

The spy shifted beside me, still holding onto me. I glanced up at his face, but saw nothing in his icy eyes. He was good at hiding all of his emotions. I envied him.

Speirs asked, "What are you doing this far from the lines?"

My escorts replied, "We were ordered by Captain Winters to help Nurse Banks gather the tags of our dead from one of the nearby battles."

Speirs suddenly examined me. I waited for a lecture of sorts. He didn't give me one, not even the one I usually see behind his dark eyes.

Instead, he walked up to me and the spy. He didn't even look at the man holding on to me. He asked, "Were you successful in gathering your tags, Nurse Banks?"

I suddenly had an idea. It came on so fast, I began to shake from the nerves of having the man next to me realize what I was up to. I tried to calm my nerves as I extended my notebook filled with the dead names. When Speirs glanced at the book before returning his gaze to me, I explained, "If you'd like to review the names sir, I have them here."

When Speirs took the notebook from my shaky hands, he looked at the man standing beside me. "What's your name, soldier?"

The spy replied, "Lerner, sir." I could feel the grip tense on my arm. I bit my lip, hoping he wasn't about to kill me in front of these men.

Speirs nodded before ordering, "Get her back to the line, Lerner. Make sure she gets warmed up."

My mouth fell open as I realized that he was sending me away with the enemy. My plan had failed. He didn't even blink at the name Lerner. I frowned at the idea of being sent away with this man.

"Yes, sir. Right away," the spy said with a salute. He began leading me away from my escorts and Speirs.

As we were several yards away, the spy stated, "You were pretty good, I must say. You're almost as good of a liar as me. Maybe you should consider becoming a spy, if you live, of course."

I muttered, "Almost as good as you..."

He added, "I thought for sure you'd give away my secret."

"And have you shoot me through my side? I'm not stupid," I retorted.

The man chuckled. "But you are."

I quickly glanced up at my captor. "What?"

"If you had any brains at all, you would have given me away. Now that I have you alone, there's no chance of survival for you, is there?" he asked with a smirk.

"You've never had an intention of heading to my line, did you?" I asked, suddenly afraid.

The man shook his head. "I was intending to head back to your line, but now I think I've succeeded in capturing a prisoner."

"Prisoner? I wouldn't be a very good prisoner," I stated.

He turned to face me. Staring into my eyes, he retorted, "You'll tell us things you didn't even know you knew. We're able to do that and more. At least you'd be out of the cold, even for a little while."

I swallowed as I felt him grip both of my arms. "I'm just a nurse. Do you honestly think they'd tell me much of anything?"

The man shrugged. "It doesn't matter. When we're done with you, you'll be of no further use to us."

"So, you're going to kill me?" I whimpered.

He smiled. "Now you see why I said that you're stupid? Even in the face of danger and potential death, you're heading to a place worse than if you had given me away. But no, I'm not going to kill you. In fact, there is someone else who has been searching for you."

"Who would that be?" I asked, trying to mask my emotions as he did before.

"A fellow man named Lerner," the spy replied with an evil grin. "He will be devastated to learn of his brother's death, but I think seeing you will make things all the better. Aren't you surprised that I wasn't able to show that I recognized the name from the start?"

My breathing picked up and I was about ready to cry. There was nothing I could do that could save me. He was a good spy. He knew the name Lerner, knew Murray's brother, but didn't show any of it. I stood no chance against him.

Before the spy had a chance to move from his spot, a single shot echoed through the frozen world around us. Within seconds of hearing the initial shot, hot liquid splattered across my cold face, causing my eyes to squeeze tightly until it stopped.

Suddenly, I was being pulled to the snow covered ground. When I landed in the snow, I opened my eyes.

The spy was still holding me. His icy blue eyes were wide and hot dark blood was running down his face as he stared at me. The side of his face had been shot. His blood began soaking into the white snow, melting it just slightly. The steam from the heat could be seen billowing up from around him.

I started to pulled away from him, knocking his hands off of me, and kicking myself away as quickly as I could manage. As soon as I was a foot away from the dead spy, I bumped into legs standing behind me.

A firm hand grasped under my arm, hoisting me up to my feet. Once I was on my feet, I whirled around and embraced the man behind me. I could feel the person grow rigid for a second before I felt arms wrap around me.

I released a sob from my mouth. I could feel tears seeping down my cheeks. My knees felt weak, but the man was holding me up, giving me another reason to be grateful.

A voice asked, "Lieutenant Speirs? Your orders?"

The response came from the one holding me. "Strip him. Take everything you can from him, then head back to your line. I'll follow behind with Nurse Banks."

"Yes sir," the man replied as he started to walk away from us to follow his order.


	66. Let It All Out

When I finally was able to calm myself down long enough, I asked, "How did you know? How did you figure it out?"

Speirs glanced at me quickly. "Your notebook."

"My notebook? But, you didn't even look at it..." I recalled.

He extended it to me. "It wasn't what was written in the book, Nurse Banks. I could see it on your face."

I took the book from him. "Oh..."

"Also, the dog tag that fell out into my hand with Lerner's name on it was helpful," he added. I wondered if he had remembered our previous conversations about the Lerner boys. The way he was talking, made me think that he had indeed forgotten all about them.

I felt relieved that he had come to my rescue once more. I placed the notebook into my pack. "Thank you, Lieutenant Speirs. Once again, you've come to my aid. I owe you my life in so many ways."

I could feel his gaze on me. When I looked up to meet his stare, he didn't shy away from me. "You're welcome."

I wanted to ask him if he was going to tell me how reckless I've been, or that I needed to be more careful, but I didn't want to ruin this moment. For the first time in a long while, I got to see him for the human he was, not the human he wanted everyone to see. He was letting his walls down and who knew how long that would last.

We stood there, looking at each other. Finally, I spoke, breaking the silence. "What now?"

"I'm bringing you back to the line," he replied.

I bit my lip before asking, "Why have you taken such an interest in me?"

He stopped in his tracks. He turned to look at me, almost torn at what to tell me. He replied, "I don't have an interest, Nurse Banks."

"But you do. If you didn't have some sort of interest in my well being, then you wouldn't have come to my rescue as many times as you have," I countered.

His face fell and he was starting to withdraw back into his cave. Before he said anything, I added, "I'm not ungrateful for what you've done for me, but let's be honest, if it were any other man in the Regiment, they wouldn't have been able to save me from that German spy. They wouldn't have come to get me in Veghel to get me to shelter."

He turned to me, but I kept talking, "No one would have been able to save me from Sobel or Jefferson...none of them would have asked me about the Lerners...but you have. You've comforted me after each incident while maintaining your distance, and you've been the only one to stay with me after the death of Sarah..."

I stopped talking long enough to look away from him to keep my tears from falling. I whispered, "You've done more for me than you realize and I just don't understand-"

He closed the gap between us. I could feel the warmth emanating from his body. In his deep husky voice, he whispered, "Emmeline."

This was the first time I had heard him use my name. I closed my eyes and felt the chills run down my spine.

"You're a mystery to me. You always have been. Look at me," he ordered.

I raised my eyes to meet his dark ones. He added, "I maintain my distance for your well being, just as I save you from situations in which you put yourself into unknowingly. Why does there have to be a reason other than just that?"

I looked away from him. I felt like a silly school girl. I backed away from him but I felt his hands grab my shoulders, pulling me close to him.

It was in that moment, Lieutenant Speirs whispered into my ear, "I will always be there for you, Emmeline. Maybe one day, you'll have the answers you are looking for, but for now, just leave it be as it is now."

Before I could add anything more to our conversation, the ground shook violently under us. We fell into the snow, Speirs landing on top of me.

Scattered shouts were heard. "Find some cover! Find a foxhole!"

Speirs didn't hesitate. He jumped to his feet and grabbed me. Leading me towards the bright blasts before us, he hopped into a nearby foxhole, dragging me in behind him.

He pushed me to the bottom of the foxhole before lowering himself into our cramped cover.

The explosions landed all around us. They were rapid and deafening. I stared with fear up at Speirs. His face was filled with concern as he looked down at me, but it hardened whenever he looked out of the cover.

A blast landed so close to us, it sprayed hot earth into our foxhole. Some of the burning dirt landed on his neck and parts of my face. I watched as he quickly brushed the dirt from his neck. When he noticed the bits that were on my face, he did the same for me.

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I was terrified. I didn't want to die. I didn't want him to die. When he glanced back down at me, I could see the mirrored emotions in his eyes.

Memories of when we huddled together in the bomb shelter in Veghel. He was so calm and collected back then, but for some reason, in this moment, in this foxhole, he looked worried.

He gazed into my eyes, worry washed over his face. I held his stare. The explosions were growing in pace and the frequency in which landed nearby increased. This was the worst barrage we had seen yet and I feared the outcome.

The smoke invaded my lungs and created such a burn in my chest that I couldn't contain my coughs any longer. I covered my nose and mouth to help limit the amount of smoke, but I felt like I was choking on air.

Speirs sat up briefly to peek out of the foxhole and just as quickly as the barrage had started, it stopped.

Within seconds of hearing the last blast somewhere down the line, cries for a medic began to swarm my eardrums. This was bad.

Speirs jumped out of the foxhole and took off running. He didn't hesitate or look at me. I sat up and cautiously peered over the top of my cover. I couldn't see anything but the heavy smoke that billowed off of the frozen earth.

The cries for a medic grew too intense and more frequent. I knew that I couldn't remain in the foxhole a moment longer. I had to do my job. I forced myself to stand on shaky legs and claw my way out of the foxhole.

Once I was out, I scrambled to my feet and started to head towards the cries for help.

As I was running through the smoke filled world around me, I realized that I was not on my line. I was in Dog Company's line. I wondered why Speirs had brought me to his Company instead of taking me back to mine. I began to wonder if the old battle field was closer to his line than mine.

Regardless of the reasons or motives behind being on Dog Company's line, I knew that I had to do my job. I would have plenty of opportunity to ask Speirs what happened and why I was here. In the meantime, I focused on the task at hand.

The first man that I came to had been obliterated by the barrage. Seeing the amount of blood that colored the snow and the man's limbs and guts that were scattered around the area nearby made the bile rise too quickly in my throat. I couldn't contain it. My knees buckled from under me and I threw up, adding to the bloody scene.

Once all the contents from my stomach had been released from my body, I shook as I looked upon the scene helplessly. I worried that if this was the first thing I would discover upon looking for wounded, things were going to get worse.

I heard footsteps running towards me. When they stopped behind me, I heard the panicked voice tremble. "We need your help back here!"

I nodded as I started to push myself to my feet.

"Are you all right?" the voice asked me with concern.

A hand grabbed my elbow, helping me to my feet. I turned and looked at the man. He looked at me with an unspoken question. I nodded, whispering in a broken voice, "I'll follow you."

He released me and started back in the direction he came from. I glanced back at the man I had found one last time before forcing myself to follow the shaken man.

I followed the man down the line. When we finally stopped, I could make out several wounded sitting together in the tree line behind the front. I inhaled sharply at the sight of how many were wounded.

I approached them and started to assess who needed the attention first. Every single man looked like they were bad and I wasn't sure I had enough morphine to help each one.

The man who brought me to the group asked, "Can I do anything to help?"

I blinked at him. Sighing, I replied, "I don't know...I'm not even sure where to start."

He nodded, understanding my predicament. He mentioned, "We've got some Jeeps coming to take them to Bastogne soon."

"That does make things easier. Thank you," I stated as I approached the group of wounded.

I started to look them over, looking for the ones who would need the attention first. Each man looked relieved, but there were some who looked angry and restless. I could tell they wanted the morphine, but I knew that I needed to save it as it was a rarity these days.

With the first man I examined, I looked at him and asked, "How are you holding up?"

He grimaced. "I'm okay. I'll be okay. I know that Johnson over there needs tending to."

I looked down the row of men to see a man who was laying on the ground, several makeshift tourniquets wrapped around his limbs and head. I returned my gaze to the man before me. "I'll go take a look at him now."

The man nodded his thanks and shifted in his spot. "Be careful. Some of the men are hurting badly enough they might demand the morphine."

I smiled kindly at him. "I know. Jeeps should be here soon."

I stood up and headed down the line to Johnson. I could feel the heated gazes from the other wounded men as I passed by them. To my surprise, no one said anything, but I knew it was only going to be a matter of time before someone tried something.

I knelt down next to the badly wounded man. His head turned to me. "Who's that?"

"It's okay, Johnson. I'm here to take a look at your wounds," I cooed.

His eyes were crusted over with blood. He was bleeding from a head wound that I couldn't see well enough as it was matted down by his hair. He had several open wounds on his chest, arms and legs. I wondered if he was one of the many who had come in close quarters with one of the mortar blasts.

I saw the tourniquets doing their job, but his head wound was still bleeding profusely. I started to search for the wound. When I found it, I felt the urge to heave again.

The wound on his head had taken a good chunk of his skull away, exposing the brain. I knew this man wouldn't survive. I closed my eyes, trying to keep it together. I remembered Darla's words in her letter about needing to be the stronger and braver one in front of the men so that they had the freedom to cry and be scared. This was one of those moments that I needed to be like Darla. Strong and brave.

"It hurts!" he cried.

I blinked back to the present, looking down at his bloody face. I could see tears falling from the corners of his closed eyes. I whispered, "I know it does. I know...I'm going to give you something for the pain, okay?"

I could feel eyes on me from all directions. Murmured voices were heard around me. As I started to pull out my morphine, the appalled protests grew louder.

Just as I gave Johnson the first dose of morphine for his pain, another wounded man approached me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I glanced up at the man suddenly. "Excuse me?"

The man bent down to grab my arm, hoisting me to my feet. Once I was on my feet, the man pulled me into him to make me look at him face to face. His nose was inches from mine as he retorted, "What do you think you're doing wasting that morphine on that man?"

I jerked away from the man and pointed down to Johnson, who was still crying in pain. "Are you going to tell me that if you were him right now, you wouldn't want something for the pain?"

"He's dying! You have men sitting here who need that morphine more than he does!" the man shouted back at me.

I pulled the wrap off of Johnson's head and pointed at the open skull as I glared at the man before me. "Maybe you'd like to have a hole in your skull! Maybe then you'd like to have some morphine for your fucking pain! Even if he is dying, he doesn't deserve to suffer any more than he already is!"

The man before me couldn't remove his eyes from Johnson's head. I turned to address the rest of the men in the line of wounded. "If any one of you think that you are more deserving of the precious morphine that I have, let me know. As far as I can see it, you've forgotten what it's like to suffer. You've forgotten what it's like to care and love those around you, like you should as a company! You all sicken me! You are men! Start acting like it!"

There was no more murmurs coming from the men. There were no more complaints. In fact, after my heated outburst, they men seemed to look ashamed. I turned back to the man who confronted me. He was still staring at Johnson.

I asked, "Do you even know who this man is?"

The man before me shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"Yes. You were." I pushed passed the man to sit back down next to the crying Johnson.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," the man whispered before heading back to his spot in the cluster of wounded.

I could feel my body shaking slightly from the confrontation. I felt bad for snapping at these men who have been through so much, but I felt empowered. I had found a voice and I felt that I suddenly had gotten the respect I wanted from Dog Company. It was a shame that it had to have happened over Johnson's grave situation.

Johnson begged, "I still hurt! Make it stop! Please!"

I remembered the man that I had stumbled upon when I started searching for wounded. I recalled the bloody and gory mess. That man had been lucky to die immediately from the blast. Johnson wasn't as lucky as he was still suffering, even though I had given him a dose of morphine. I wondered if it was even enough to impact the amount of pain that he was in.

I pulled out my morphine kit and looked at the few I had left. It became a tug of war in my mind whether or not to give him another dose. It would most likely kill him, but he was going to die anyways. I worried that if I used another dose, someone else may need that dose later.

"Please...make it stop," the kid begged again. Tears falling from his crusted eyes and he started to shiver.

I blinked away the tears that began to form behind my tired eyes. As I briefly glanced up at the rest of the wounded, I could see a few faces watching me closely. The looks had changed from what they were earlier. They were more understanding of where I was and I could see a few men nodding to me as if to tell me to give him more, just to ease his suffering.

I whispered, "I'm going to give you more. This will help, I promise."

"Promise?" he asked.

I pushed it into his flesh and whispered with a cracked voice, "I promise it will help you."

After I gave it to him, he sighed heavily.

"Thank you," he choked. I could see his body beginning to relax. His breathing was starting to slow in pace.

By the time the Jeeps had come for the wounded, Johnson had died. I sat next to his body with my head in my blood covered hands. I felt like a failure, even though I did everything I could humanly do for the man. Deep down, it didn't seem like enough. I was beginning to feel that way in all aspects of my job lately. Death was never easy, but it was harder to deal with when the young and good were suffering before they were taken.

As I sat there by myself, I heard the Jeeps taking the wounded in trips until they returned to take the body of Johnson. When they took his body away, I remained sitting in the snow, watching them drive off into the forest towards Bastogne.

Scanning the area around me, I could still see traces of the smoke from the last barrage coming off the frozen ground. As I stood up to head back to my line, the scene was more horrifying than I had anticipated.

Through the hazy smoke, the white world was speckled in red. Bloody footprints traced the outline of the battle that took place. Trees were obliterated and littered the ground around us. The survivors of this attack remained huddled together in foxholes, treating their minor wounds and checking their cover. They looked worn out and fearful of another attack so soon.

I swallowed my fear as I started to slowly walk towards the back of the line. I needed to head back to my line where Easy Company sat. I began to worry that if Dog Company had gotten hammered like this, then Easy most likely had it worse. I needed to make sure that I got back as soon as possible to help with the damage that was more than likely already done.

When I reached the back of the line, Speirs was standing there giving orders to his men. By the time I stood in front of him, the men had left to fulfill their duties. Speirs turned to face me. I could see different emotions sweep across his face.

After giving me his usual scan, most likely checking for any wounds, he spoke. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "I'm fine, but I need to return to my company. If it was bad on this end of the line, I worry that it's worse back there."

He agreed. "I'll escort you back."

"That's not necessary. You're busy and you have a lot to do here. I can-" I was interrupted.

"I have given orders to my officers. They can handle things here. I'll escort you back," he replied sternly.

I sighed as I finally agreed to let him escort me back to my line. I finally figured that if he was my escort, we'd find Easy, as opposed to someone else helping me back and stumbling into yet another German outpost.

Before we started to walk, Speirs handed me a handkerchief. I furrowed my brow at him. He explained, "You have blood all over your face. You might startle some of your men if they see you in the state you're in."

I took the extended cloth from him and wiped my face with it. I couldn't care less about the state of my face, but I followed his orders just so that we could get moving sooner.

When I finished with his handkerchief, I tried to give it back to him, but he shook his head. "Keep it."

"Thank you," I muttered. It seemed an odd gesture, but I wasn't up for arguing with the man over a small piece of cloth. I tucked it into my coat pocket and followed him into the frozen forest.


	67. Backbone

As we walked in silence, we could hear faint sounds of planes overhead. We stopped and glanced up into the misty canopy hoping to catch a glimpse of what was flying above us.

Speirs spotted one and pointed. "Looks like it's our men."

"What do you think they're doing out here?" I questioned.

Speirs looked at me. "Dropping supplies at Bastogne, I'm guessing. Let's go."

I tore my eyes away from the sky to watch him walk ahead of me. I quickly followed him.

Speirs said, "I want to thank you for taking care of my men."

"I'm just doing my job, as you are," I stated.

He glanced over his shoulder at me. "I saw what happened back there."

I raised my eyes to meet his. "When?"

"You stood your ground and confronted several men at once, quite angrily I might add," he replied. I could see a small smirk forming on his face.

I sighed. "They had it coming."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Did they now?"

He stopped to look at me in the eyes. I stood my ground and met his gaze. "Yes. They are all very stubborn and selfish. Kind of like you."

The amusement on his face was apparent. "I'm stubborn and selfish?"

"Yes. You are," I remarked calmly, still holding my ground.

He smiled as he replied, "I didn't think you had it in you, Nurse Banks."

I felt a small pang in my heart with the old name of 'Nurse Banks'. He had used my name once before, but now we were back to our old routine. I asked, "Didn't think I had what?"

"A backbone. I never thought I'd live to see the day that you would stand up for yourself. I'm impressed." He released a small chuckle as he began to walk again.

I followed him, ignoring his remark. I wasn't going to be goaded into his teasing.

He asked, "Do you think you'll still have that backbone and courage to stand up for yourself when you run into the Lerner boys?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. I glanced up at him. "What?"

He turned to face me. "Aside from the two you know are dead, have you heard from any of the others?"

I shrugged. "The spy mentioned that his outfit had a Lerner who was looking for me, but who's to say that is the truth. What about you? Have you heard anything?"

He ignored the question. "Do you think you'll be able to stand up to them on your own when your paths do cross?"

"What do you know?" I asked.

He ignored my question again. "I wonder what it would be like to see you stand up to them, given what little I know about your past, but I suspect that you're going to revert back into that meek mouse-"

I didn't let him finish. I closed the gap between us and slapped his face. Hard. I gritted my teeth as I spat at him, "How dare you! How dare you speak that way to me! After everything I've done, everything I've been through! You don't know me!"

Speirs grabbed both of my wrists to keep me from slapping him again. He pulled me so close to him, I crashed into his chest. He calmly stated, "No one knows who you are or what you've been through because you never speak of it. But you've told Sergeant Randleman a little bit and I know that you've told Darla a little as well."

I glared up at him. He was incredibly calm for a man who was just a moment ago teasing and pushing my buttons, not to mention being slapped. "How do you know that I've told them?"

He continued as if I had not asked a question, "I am curious as to why you've never told Private Webster about your past. He seems quite smitten with you. I would have thought if anyone knew the whole story, it would be him. I wonder why you haven't mentioned anything to him."

"He wouldn't understand," I replied.

"You mean that you don't think he would look at you the same way? Or that he'd be able to protect you while he's sitting in that hospital. Maybe you think that once this war is all over, he'll still be there waiting for you to decide what you want," Speirs stated.

I bit my lip. "No one understands what I've been through."

"I do," he whispered. I glanced up to meet his dark eyes with my teary ones.

"How-" I started.

He replied, "I looked into them after the ceremony we attended for the fallen. After seeing your strong reaction to the name, I knew that something terrible had to have happened to you regarding them and when I overheard you speaking to Sergeant Randleman about your past, I knew what to expect."

"You were eavesdropping?" I asked shocked.

"It wasn't planned, but yes. I heard what was said. Just like I heard the conversation between you and Private Webster that day on the train," he stated.

It took me a moment to recall the conversation with Webster. It was right after he had kissed me and felt rejected by me. It was a painful talk with him for me to sit across from him as I explained that I loved him but not in the way he needed me to love him.

I whispered, "How did you hear that conversation?"

Speirs whispered back, "Funny thing about trains, you sit behind people without them ever seeing your face. Close quarters and all of that."

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't know what to say or do in this moment.

Speirs stated, "You say you don't love Webster, but you seem to have strong feelings for him."

"I don't love him in the way he wants me to love him. He deserves more than what I could ever give him," I replied.

"No one could deserve better than you, Emmeline," he whispered sincerely.

I blinked at him, feeling lost in his dark eyes. My mouth opened to reply, but all words were lost. I felt his grip on my wrists loosen as he moved his cold and calloused hands to my face, crashing his cold lips onto mine.

For a moment, the world had stopped. Nothing around us existed. Nothing else mattered. Time had disappeared into that frozen forest that surrounded us as we stood in front of each other, kissing one another.

The urgency behind his lips was apparent that he had been feeling the same things as I had from the beginning. It was bliss to stand there before him as I never thought it would ever happen.

When he pulled away from me, he scanned my face before saying, "Let's get you back to your company."

I blinked a few times as I realized that this moment was going to be the only one we would share. Speirs was a soldier at heart, through and through. I hoped that I was wrong in thinking that but I suddenly felt a little heart broken over this perfect moment, knowing it was the first and last of its kind.

Speirs stopped a few feet from me to turn back to gaze at me. "Are you coming, Nurse Banks?"

I sighed heavily as I stomped through the snow behind him, trying to forget that blissful moment between us. The remainder of our walk to my line was quiet and he never looked my way for the rest of the trek through the forest.


	68. Living on the Edge

Back at my line, with my company, I realized that I was right. Easy Company had gotten hit hard by the barrages during my absence. When Roe caught up to me, he explained just how bad it really was.

We had lost Hoobler to a freak accident involving a luger he found on an officer on horseback. The bullet had severed the artery in his thigh and he bled out before they were able to get him to the aide station in Bastogne. His death impacted a lot of men due to his personality.

Roe also explained to me that Gordon had been shot during a morning attack. The bullet had gone through his left shoulder and out the right, paralyzing him completely. I had never felt so guilty for being away from the line than I did at this moment. I felt like I let everyone in my company down and I would never forgive myself.

I sat in my foxhole alone, stewing about the events that happened over the past two days that I was gone.

It wasn't long before I heard footsteps approaching my foxhole. When they stopped above me, I slowly raised my gaze to meet those of my visitor.

Standing above me with such a disdained face was Dike. He glared down at me. "Where the hell have you been, Nurse Banks?"

I lowered my face from him. I quietly replied, "I was helping Dog Company."

"You are not a member of Dog Company, Nurse Banks! You are a field nurse for this company! What gave you the idea that it was acceptable to take off away from your post and duties to help another unit?" he shouted at me.

I gritted my teeth. "They have no medic. They were hit just as badly as we were. I have a duty to heal the men from our country. That's exactly what I did, sir. If you have a problem with that, then I suggest you take it up with Captain Winters or Lieutenant Speirs."

Dike glared hateful eyes on me. "You don't ever speak to a commanding officer that way again! I will have a chat with Captain Winters and I will have you removed from this Company!"

I inhaled deeply, no longer interested in speaking with the man. It was a never ending battle with him and I didn't want to take part in it any longer.

He added, "Until then, get your things ready. We're going to be heading back to our position overlooking Foy."

I heard him storm away from my foxhole. I shook my head, thinking about whether or not he would succeed in kicking me out of the Airborne. Part of me hoped he did, but the other part of me realized that it wasn't going to happen if Winters or Speirs had any say in the matter.

The next morning, we were ordered to move out towards our old position overlooking Foy. Along the way, Shifty came running back to Lipton.

"Sir, there's a tree up ahead near Noville that wasn't there yesterday," Shifty stated.

Lipton withdrew his binoculars and started to scan the area that Shifty pinpointed for him. Lipton looked skeptically at Shifty. "Are you sure?"

"It wasn't there yesterday on patrol. God is my witness," he swore.

Lipton sighed as he peered through the binoculars again, scanning the area while the rest of us hunkered down to wait for our orders.

I could see the fear on Shifty's face as Lipton continued to examine the numerous trees that were before us. Everyone knew that Shifty was a fantastic scout and marksman, so I was curious as to why we were questioning the idea that this kid might be wrong about a tree that suddenly appeared.

Lipton released a short surprised sigh. "There is it. You're right, Shifty. That's no tree." He lowered his binoculars and stated, "The Germans have set up antiaircraft battery and 88s. That tree you saw is their camouflage."

Lipton turned to Luz and took the headset from him. He began explaining the situation, requesting mortar assistance.

When he got the help we requested, we watched as the mortars rained down onto the Germans sitting in trees. Shells hit their targets spot on, destroying everything in the wake of their battery.

It was over just as quickly as it had started and every German who was in that battery was killed.

"Nice work, Shifty," Lipton stated with a proud smile.

Everyone slapped Shifty on the back for a job well done. I smiled at the kid with the remarkable gift for remembering trees in the forest. It was a talent that I wished I possessed. He was modest about his ability to fire his weapon with incredible accuracy and now he was being modest about his ability to recall how many trees were in the forest towards Noville. His talents never ceased to amaze me.

We reached our old position overlooking Foy and settled in, awaiting new orders. We weren't sure if we would be heading out to try and take over the town, or if we were to wait another few days before the initial attack. Either way, nerves were already heightened.

When morning arrived, I headed to the back of the line to grab my rationed breakfast. I stopped short of the group of men before me and watched as Toye had hopped out of a Jeep, arm in a sling.

It amazed me that so many men who had been wounded were returning to us so quickly. It made me think about Webster and how he had yet to make any appearance. I wondered if he didn't want to return, just as I could see it in his eyes the day he was evacuated to the hospital.

I didn't get to dwell on it any further as Winters was suddenly standing before me. "Emmeline?"

I blinked to bring myself back to the present. "Yeah, sorry."

He smiled warmly at me, but I could see a slight concern wash over his face. "I have been meaning to talk to you."  
"Sir?" I asked.

He stated, "I've gotten a rather uncouth letter from Dike. He wants to get you transferred out of the Airborne and sent back to the States."

I smirked. "Yeah, he threatened me with that a few days back."

"I want to know what happened, if you don't mind sharing," Winters replied.

I sighed. "He's mad at me for taking care of Dog Company instead of Easy during a barrage. It was when I was separated from the line to gather tags from our fallen."

"I recall. Speirs also informed me of what happened," Winters stated.

I furrowed my brow at Winters. "So, what's going to happen to me then? Am I to return to England and then back to the States?"

He shook his head. "No. I've denied the transfer request. From what I understand, Dike hasn't exactly been present like he should, so for him to reprimand you for something he's doing, doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?"

I smiled as I nodded that I understood. Winters placed his hand on my left shoulder before walking away from me.

Toye approached me just as I made another attempt to get something to eat. He smiled half heartily. "Hello, Emmeline."

"Hello, Joe. What are you doing back here?" I questioned.

He shrugged. "Couldn't waste any more time at that hospital. Needed to stretch my legs."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"As ready as anyone else. Don't worry about me," he replied.

I watched as he withdrew an envelope from his coat pocket. "Darla wanted me to pass this along to you. I told her that I was heading back and would love to give it to you."

I smiled as I took the letter from his extended hand. "Thank you, Joe."

He nodded as he took his leave from me. I continued to stare at the envelope. I turned and headed back towards my foxhole, no longer interested in my breakfast.

Once I was safely inside my cover, I began to open the letter that I was given. Inside were several pages of folded paper. I withdrew them quickly and began to open them up.

Dearest Emmeline,

This is the first letter that I have sent to you without receiving anything from you but this is something I desperately needed to say.

I had gotten a letter from Anne. She is doing well so not to alarm you by the mention of her name, but the contents of her letter have troubled me greatly.

Anne has told me about a man in her unit that had approached her to talk about a mutual friend of theirs. You.

Anne has become this man's friend and has been telling me all about him. Upon asking, I have learned this man's name. Lerner. She has befriended a Lerner! I do not think that she meant any harm as I know she has not heard about them before meeting this man.

She has taken to him quite a bit from what I am understanding. I fear for her, but I know that if I say anything to her now, that man will know and she would be in danger, if what you have said about them is true.

Emmeline, she has informed him of your whereabouts and unit in which you are serving. I fear that those men will be looking for you sooner than we had ever anticipated. I am so worried for you! I don't know what to do! What should I do? Tell me what to do!

I'm sorry that this letter isn't one of happy news or updates on Webster or others from your unit, or even me. I felt that this was too important to wait on telling you, so when I saw that Joe Toye was heading back to your line, I knew that I needed to get this to you as soon as possible.

Please keep safe, Emmeline. Tell me what to do. Should I warn Anne? Should I warn Captain Winters? I've never been so scared or powerless in my life...stay safe out wherever you are, Emmeline!

Love,

Darla

I leaned back into my foxhole, dropping my hands into my lap and feeling defeated. I couldn't believe what I had just read. The Lerners were befriending those closest to me and getting information about me. Like Darla, I was afraid for Anne, but I knew that if they suspected that I knew they were talking to her, she would be in danger. They wouldn't hesitate to use her against me or hurt her for letting it out that she was talking about me. To protect Anne, I couldn't allow that to happen. I refused to let that happen.

It felt like a low blow from them to use my friends against me. They were cunning for sure, but this was new for even them. This was the reason that I never kept friends or anyone close to me. I didn't want to see them in the hands of the Lerners. I began to wonder when I would cross paths with them. Out of six boys, two were already confirmed dead while one was with Anne. That left one in the enemy's outfit, if the spy was telling the truth and two unaccounted for and that made me nervous.

I shook my head as I placed the letter into my stack of old ones and withdrew my notebook. I immediately began writing instructions to Darla to keep up the act of not knowing who they are and I explained my reasons. I also asked her to find out exactly what Anne has been telling them so that I was better prepared for what may come.

When I finished writing the letter, I folded it up and hopped out of my foxhole to hand off to someone before it was too late.

As I headed towards the back of the line, I spied a man sitting in a Jeep. I approached him with a wary smile. "Are you heading back to the wounded?"

He looked at me briefly before turning back to whatever it was he was fiddling with. "In a few minutes, yes. Why?"

"I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to take a letter back with you for England."

The way the man eyed me made me regret asking. There was something not quite right with him but I couldn't place my finger on it. I started to doubt myself because of how the letter from Darla had impacted my nerves.

He nodded as he extended his hand. "Sure thing. I'll take it for you."

I studied the man for a moment. I still could not shake this feeling that something was off with him. I stated, "I still need to write it. I'll get it to you before you leave."

"Well, hurry up then. I don't have all day. We're leaving here in a couple minutes," he replied with a tone of annoyance.

I withdrew from him and started to seek out Winters instead.

Upon walking about the area in search of Winters, I ran into Speirs.

He looked at me and furrowed his brow. He already knew something was wrong. He closed the gap between us, grabbing my upper arm and pulling me away from the rest of the group.

Once we were alone, he asked, "What is it?"

I blinked up at him. "I uh... need to get a letter to Darla."

His eyes narrowed at me. "Why didn't you give it to the driver?"

"Something about him makes me nervous," I replied.

Before he said anything, I added, "This is a very important letter that I don't want to hand over to someone who might give it to the wrong person, or-"

Speirs asked, "What's the letter about, Miss Banks?"

I sighed, closing my eyes. He saw the struggle that I had within. He whispered his knowing connection, "It's about the Lerners, isn't it?"

I nodded, still remaining silent with my eyes closed. He asked, "What's happened?"

I forced myself to look him in the eye. I whispered with an unsteady voice, "I just got word from Darla that Anne has been approached by one of them. She's befriended them and has been telling him all about me and my whereabouts. If they know where I am, then it's only a matter of time before they find me."

Speirs held my gaze. Concern washed over his dark eyes. He asked with his husky voice, "What did you tell Darla in your letter?"

"I fear that if they find out that I know they are talking to Anne, she may be in danger. I don't want Darla telling Anne to stop treating him the way she always has. If they suspect that she's been telling Darla, who's been telling me about their conversations, both of them will be in danger. I can't let that happen. I can't let them hurt those around me."

"Do you still have that letter?" he questioned. I nodded and he extended his hand waiting for it to be given to him.

"What are you going to do?" I asked as I slowly withdrew my letter.

"I'll take care of it," he said simply.

I furrowed my brow at him. He was up to something. "What are you going to do?"

I put the letter into his hands and he placed it safely inside his coat. "I'll take care of it. Have you told anyone else about this?"

I shook my head and he added, "Don't. Just go about your day just as you would normally. I'll handle it."

The way he said that made me believe him without a question or doubt. He suddenly calmed my very being. I felt relaxed now that it was in someone else's hands, someone like him. I realized that I had completely trusted him from day one and he was proving that it wasn't wasted.

He walked away from me without saying another word. I prayed that this issue involving the Lerners, Anne, Darla and me would be over soon.


	69. Breaking Points

After having been away from the line long enough to grab some food, the company headed back to our line. The lead scouts decided to take a short cut so that we would get back to our foxholes before it got dark. Several men thought it was a good idea, but the enemy saw us.

Shells began to rain down on our position. Every one of us scrambled for cover. Several men jumped into the same foxhole, crammed so tight they barely had room to lower into it.

One of the blasts landed behind me and three other men from the company. The power of the explosion sent me flying forward. Once I stopped sliding in the snow, I glanced over my shoulder to see that one of the men who was behind me was severely wounded. The other two of those men were dead.

I coughed through the smoke filled air to reach the remaining man who was alive. I started to pull him across the frozen ground towards the nearest foxhole. Like many of the foxholes in the area, this one was only partially finished, but I pulled the man into it anyways.

As the barrage continued to shake the world around us, I could barely hear voices shouting orders to find some cover. I glanced up to make out some outlines of men above ground, waving their arms and running for cover as they shouted.

I began to focus on the wounded man before me as best as I could with the barrage continuing around me. With each blast that occurred, I found myself lowering to the ground.

I knew that I would be unable to help the man while the barrage was happening, so I had no choice but to wait until it was over. I spied across the woods to watch what was happening. Several men were in a similar position as I was - huddled as low as they could go, in a foxhole that barely covered their bodies. As I scanned the area before me, I could see one person running through the woods towards cover when an explosion happened directly above him, then I lost sight of him.

Just as suddenly as it had started, it was over. I could hear coughing from the heavy smoke that lingered all around us and scattered screams for a medic. I sat up slightly to tend to the man next to me in the partial foxhole. He was bleeding badly and his limbs were severely cut up. What I didn't know until I turned him over was that his back was the cause of the blood pooling below us.

I asked him," How are you doing?"

He blinked at me. "I'm okay. I didn't hear it coming."

I nodded. "I know. No one did. I'll give you something for the pain."

I understood what he meant by not hearing it coming. During training, they always said that if you could hear the shell coming, you'd be okay. It was that moment that you didn't hear it that you were in trouble. As I began to administer the morphine into the man, I glanced up to see several more men crawling out of their cover.

As soon as they were standing straight up, the Germans attacked us again. They zeroed in on our position, raining in double the shells that they had initially attacked us with. Watching the men scatter back to their foxholes, I realized that the Germans had planned this attack. They knew that if we had a break in the shelling that we would crawl out of our cover to tend to our wounded. As soon as that happened, they would attack us and try to take out the men above ground. I hated that feeling of being targeted for trying to help those around me.

I stayed in the foxhole with my wounded comrade, waiting for this second barrage to end. The ground shook so violently that even if you had tried to stand up, you'd lose balance and fall. The smell of smoke, burning trees and fresh blood filled my nostrils and lungs. I coughed, adding more smoke to my lungs.

I squeezed my eyes tightly, praying that this would end soon. We were defenseless and at the mercy of our enemy. It was such a helpless feeling and it was terrifying to sit and hope that the shells would miss you. I could hear the whistles of each shell as it came raining down on our line.

Within minutes of the second barrage starting, it stopped. We waited for a few minutes before starting to crawl about the line. We were afraid that another attack was going to happen if they saw our silhouettes above ground. I could barely keep my hands from shaking as I tried to tend to the wounded man next to me.

When I peered across the line, I saw the amount of destruction that lay before me. Trees were missing, partially blown up as if a tornado had blown through the area. Smoke was still billowing off the frozen ground and new holes littered the line where the shells had landed and exploded. The heavy smell of blood filled the air. It just solidified how bad it truly was.

I continued to focus on the man before me when I heard footsteps running towards me. Glancing up at the sound, I saw Compton. He looked white as snow and he was terrified.

"Buck? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked him, clearly frightened.

The man stammered, "I need a medic. Bill and Joe...they..."

My eyes grew wide. I was about to get up to follow him, but Roe suddenly appeared.

"I'll go," Roe stated as he followed Buck back to the place he came from.

I felt a massive lump sitting in my throat. I was afraid of what had happened with Guarnere and Toye. It was unfortunate to think of anyone getting wounded, but I felt even more upset knowing that Toye had gone AWOL from the hospital to return. Had he stayed in that hospital one more night, they wouldn't be in the predicament they were in now, whatever that was.

It wouldn't be too long before Jeeps arrived to gather the wounded. When they took the man I was with, I started to cautiously roam the line in search of someone who might need me. That's when I found Lipton.

I asked, "How are you?"

He met my gaze with sad eyes. "I'm alive. How about you?"

I shrugged. I didn't know how to answer. Lipton sighed, placing his hands on his hips as I asked, "How bad is it?"

Lipton began to explain it to me.

We lost Muck and Penkala who shared a foxhole when the last barrage took place. Toye and Guarnere were severely wounded and lost legs when an explosion cut them up. Compton had cracked and needed to be evacuated for his mental wellbeing. Several others had snapped under the pressure and were digging foxholes with their bare hands, ripping their fingernails out from their finger beds. We were losing more men than we had to spare, and each death was taking a greater toll on everyone.

It wasn't until I was alone that I realized that the man that I had seen below that shell that blew was Toye. Guarnere had run out there to save his friend and get him into some cover. Buck had come running in search of medics to help them.

That night, we sat in silence, remembering the evening and those we lost. This was the moment that we realized the men were reaching their breaking point. There was no getting used to war or the thoughts and sights of seeing your friends getting killed or wounded. Men who were healthy and unwounded felt cursed, while they envied those with trench foot, wounds or the ones who were dead. It was a difficult feeling to live each day, trying to deal as best as you could under the circumstances. Little food, lack of adequate sleep, and the constant feeling of being on edge was too much to bear at times. Some men were looking for ways to escape, to get away from the line, but those were usually the ones who ended up laying in the snow dead along with the others who had been killed. Each day was difficult and it was just getting worse. All we could do at this point was to hope that our breaking point would be further away, but for many, it was only one more barrage or death. It was hard to watch.


	70. We Had Survived

The next morning had finally arrived. I woke to the sounds of men talking amongst themselves. Something seemed different. The voices seemed anxious.

Sitting up, I peered about the line. Men were gathering their things. I wondered if we were getting pulled from the line to get refitted and fed but as I started to walk about the line looking for Lipton, the conversations around me told me otherwise.

Upon my search for Lipton, I spotted Winters, Sink, and Dog Company behind the line where the men were beginning to assemble. I stopped as I took their appearance in. It had been a few days since I had last seen Speirs and I remembered him taking the letter from me. I wondered if he had taken care of that issue yet or not.

As I stood there, I heard a voice speak behind me. "I've been wondering where you ran off to."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Dike approaching me. "Sir?"

He stood next to me and asked, "Have you gotten your things in order, Nurse Banks? We'll be moving out soon."

"What for?" I asked.

He sighed. "We're taking Foy."

"We are?" I questioned. This was news to me. It had been talked about for weeks that we would be the ones to take Foy, but after the last attack and heavy casualties that we had suffered, I wondered if this was still happening.

"We've been given replacements and we have our orders," Dike stated as though he was reading my mind.

I began to wonder if we would survive this attempt of taking control of Foy, which we knew to be heavily occupied by the enemy. I questioned the success because of how much Dike was hardly present whenever we saw action. Aside from getting lectures from him occasionally, I rarely saw him. This was the first time in weeks that I had spoken with him, and I wasn't complaining.

Dike started to walk away from me, but stopped. He turned back to me, stating, "I hear that you and I share a mutual friend in Battalion."

I furrowed my brow at him. "What do you mean, sir?"

Dike replied, "Robert Lerner says that he knows you."

I felt that familiar panic growing in my stomach. My hands began to tremble slightly. I blinked at Dike. "Sir?"

He furrowed his brow at me. "Do you know him?"

I hesitated in telling the truth. I worried that if I said yes, that would only give them easier access to me. If I lied, Dike might see through it.

Luckily for me, I didn't have a chance to respond. Lipton approached us and cleared his throat. "Sir? Colonel Sink and Captain Winters are waiting for you."

Dike stormed away from me, no longer interested in an answer, which I was thankful for. Lipton looked at me and asked, "Are you okay? You look shaken."

I released the breath I didn't realize I was holding in. "I'm not sure, to tell you the truth, Lip."

When I got his concerned gaze, I forced a smile. "I'm fine. I promise. So, what's the plan?"

Lipton graciously let go of the situation and began explaining the plan of action for the assault on Foy. When he finished explaining it, I asked, "So, what am I going to be doing?"

He looked away from me as he replied, "You've been ordered to stay here with Dog Company, Captain Winters and the rest of Battalion."

I shook my head. "Why? Shouldn't I be there with the men in case you need me?"

Lipton shrugged. "I guess they think we won't need you. We will still have Roe with us, but maybe they think you would be better off here."

I sighed heavily, dreading having to stay behind. Lipton wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we headed towards the rest of the company. He whispered, "It's probably just a precautionary thing, Em. I wouldn't worry. This should be a fast paced operation, if Dike does as ordered."

"If...that's a pretty big word for that man," I muttered.

Lipton released a chuckle. "That it is."

I watched as the men began to assemble and learn the strategy for the assault. They didn't show how nervous they were to be led by Dike. Instead, I found myself admiring them. I wanted to be out there with them. I wanted to be with my men.

It wasn't long before I began to scan the area around me. I examined the men from Dog Company. They were relaxed and happy that they were not the ones to be in the middle of the fight. They were happy to just be there for support should the need arise. I knew that my company envied them for getting to sit out this fight.

My eyes spotted Speirs. He was speaking to some of his men, most likely giving them orders on what to do should they be needed. When he turned away from his men, his brooding eyes landed on me and I quickly adverted my gaze.

Releasing a sigh, I glanced over my shoulder to look at Sink, Winters and the rest of the men who came from Battalion. I searched for Robert Lerner. When I didn't recognize any of the men from Battalion, I relaxed a little.

"You seem on edge, Nurse Banks," the husky voice spoke from beside me, causing me to jump a little.

I turned to face Speirs. "Just a little."

He studied my face before looking past me to the men by the Jeeps. "Who are you looking for?"

I willed myself not to bite my lip. "Lieutenant Dike mentioned a friend of his who works at Battalion."

Speirs connected the dots. "One of the Lerners, right?"

I nodded. "Robert. The eldest and worst of the lot."

Speirs held my worried gaze as I continued, "If he knows that I'm here, it's only a matter of time before he-"

"Don't worry about him," Speirs stated confidently.

I furrowed my brow at him. "What do you mean?"

Speirs repeated himself, "Don't worry about the Lerners."

I blinked at the remark. How could he tell me not to worry about them? It didn't make any sense to me. "How can I not worry about them? If they find me-"

"They won't," he said simply. He looked at me with a hidden promise in his words. He had done something and he was hiding whatever it was that he had done.

"What have you done?" I questioned softly.

"I'm taking care of it." Then he walked away from me, leaving me wondering what it was that he had done. I wanted to relax and trust him that I wouldn't have to worry about the Lerners, but it was a hard concept to swallow. I worried that if I were to lower my guard now, that was when I would come across one of them. I couldn't take that chance.

I wouldn't get the chance to dwell on the matter for long. The order was given to take positions. My throat immediately went dry and my hands began to tremble.

When Dike shouted his order to charge, the men took off as quickly as they could down the hill into the fields that surrounded Foy. As they ran, they began breaking off into their groups and filing themselves into position.

It didn't take long before the German troops holding Foy saw the assault beginning. They had been waiting and preparing for us to make a move. It felt like they were expecting it by how prepared they were.

The Germans didn't hesitate to start attacking the men as they were making their approach. They were using everything they had. Rifles, snipers, 88s, mortars. I watched in horror as our men were getting killed before they had even reached the village.

I hadn't noticed that I had walked to the edge of the forest to watch. I felt a firm grip on my left wrist, pulling me back. When I glanced over to see who was holding me back, it was Speirs.

He didn't say anything. I think he knew how worried I was. He just held my wrist as we watched the scene unfold.

Halfway through the field, Dike ordered everyone to hold positions. My heart stopped.

"Keep moving!" Dick shouted from our hilltop. He continued shouting the same thing over and over again.

I blinked at what was happening. I could feel tears swelling in my eyes. I couldn't understand what Dike was thinking. Why did he stop the men in the open? With each death that I could see, I felt the bile rising in my throat.

"Get him on the radio!" Dick shouted in a panicked voice.

I looked over at him, wide eyed with fear. He met my gaze, mirroring the same emotions as he began shouting into the radio.

I broke the contact to peer back down the hilltop at Dike, who had taken shelter behind a massive haystack with several others. I could see that he wasn't taking the radio.

As the mortars from the enemy landed too close for comfort around the haystack, I heard Sink shout, "Dick! Get back here! I know you have a commitment to those men-"

"Speirs!" Dick shouted. "Get over!"

My eyes shot over to Speirs. He didn't look at me. Instead, he had sprinted over to Dick. I followed him with my eyes as he ran over for orders.

"Take control of the company. Relieve Dike of his command. Get that attack moving forward!" Dick ordered.

Speirs didn't hesitate. He took off running by himself into the fields, heading straight for Dike's haystack. I watched with horror as an explosion landed a few yards from the approaching Speirs. I felt my knees give out from under me.

As I knelt in the snow, I couldn't tear my eyes from the scene. Speirs reached the haystack unharmed. He began giving orders to the men and immediately started the assault, leaving Dike behind the haystack.

I didn't think things could get any worse, but when I spied Speirs leaving the men and rushing into the village of Foy by himself, my mouth fell open. He ran through the enemy lines to the other side of the village. I wasn't the only one who was surprised by this course of action. Everyone on the hill, the men making the assault and even the enemy were just as stunned.

When I realized that Speirs was hooking up with I Company and he wasn't killed on his run to them, I thought that was it. I was wrong. He ran back to Easy. This time, the enemy started to fire upon him. I couldn't contain it any longer and the bile had made it's exit.

My nerves were shot as the assault continued. Our men leveled rooftops that housed snipers. They didn't take any prisoners as they continued to take the town of Foy, with the help of I Company.

By the time it was over, I didn't feel like I had the strength to stand on my own two feet. Cheers on the hilltop had erupted at the success of taking over Foy. I felt embarrassed that I spent most of the time throwing up what little was in my stomach due to the nerves, but I was happy it was over.

When I finally pulled myself up with the help of the nearby tree, I began to make my approach to Winters. I wanted to ask him if it would be acceptable for me to head down there and help in any way that I could.

As I neared him, Sink asked Winters, "So, what are you going to do about the company?"

"Relived Dike and put Speirs in command," Dick stated.

Sink had agreed to this decision whole heartily. "I'll sign off on the paperwork."

Sink walked away from us to return to Battalion, while Dick looked at me. He could see that I wasn't well and asked, "Emmeline? Are you all right?"

I nodded. "I'm better now that it is over, sir."

He smiled at me, returning the nod. "I agree."

"What's going to happen now?" I asked, even though I had overheard the news already.

Before Winters could reply, one of the reporters carrying motion cameras handed his camera off to his friend and ran out to help bring up one of the wounded. Dick and I watched as the reporter helped bring the bleeding man to our lines, making sure to get as much blood on his suit as possible. Once he handed off the wounded soldier to one of the waiting docs, he turned to his friend and stated, "Are you getting this?"

His friend laughed. "Look like you're exhausted, Bill, just as if you were in the middle of it all!"

I scoffed at the disgusting men. Shaking my head, I walked away from them. I didn't want to be standing there any more.

I heard Winters shout after me, "Emmeline! Head on down there and see if there's any one who needs a hand."

I nodded and started to jog down the hill towards Foy. I had to be careful where I stepped as the mortars and 88s did a pretty good job destroying the fields.

As I neared the haystack that Dike had taken refuge behind, I saw that he was still sitting there. I stopped and knelt down next to him. "Are you hit, sir?"

He blinked up to meet my gaze. "I bet you're happy."

At first, I didn't want to say anything, but then he kept talking. "I know that you are just like everyone else in this outfit. You've been looking for excuses to get rid of me. It's just a shame that I couldn't get rid of you first."

Once those words left his mouth, I replied facetiously, "You're not looking on the bright side, sir. Now you get to have your job off the line and continue to work up the ranks to whatever position suits your fancy ass."

Dike blinked at me. I knew that he was still my superior officer, but at this point, I was tired of him. I was tired of his bullying and comments about me because of how he felt about women.

I didn't let him say anything else. I stood up and added, "You're fine, sir. You're free to walk up that hill, back to Battalion. Just be sure not to listen to what anyone has to say about your heroics today."

I walked away from him, feeling a bit taller and more confident than I had when I first met him. He was right about one thing, though. I was happy. I was happy to see his reign of terror to be over and I knew that things would start to look up from here. At least, that was my hopes.

We had survived Sobel. We had survived Dike. I knew that we would survive this war with Speirs in charge. Part of me was excited to have Speirs leading our company, but there was still a large part of me that was scared. I wasn't sure I would be able to make it through every day with him shadowing me and lecturing me with his eyes. There was a lot left open to discussion when it came to him and our relationship, but I knew that only time could tell what door would open and where life would take us.


	71. New Standing Orders

I entered the village of Foy and started looking for men to treat. There were a quite a few wounded men, but Roe had already started handling them. When I checked with I Company, there were a couple who still needed tending to, so I set to work.

It wasn't long before our camera crew up on the hilltop joined us in the village. They asked the wounded to sing and act as though this was just another wonderful day. They claimed that it would not only boost the morale back home, but that the women would be waiting for those strong, brave men who sang as they slaughtered the enemy. The more that those men talked, the more I was disgusted by them. Of course, they mentioned women, and that was the key word. The men willingly began singing for the cameras.

I finished looking at the I Company men and started to wander about the village, searching for more to do.

As I walked behind the reporters, one of them stopped me, turning his camera onto me. "Miss! Miss! Wait a moment!"

Gritting my teeth, I stopped and looked over at him.

"Would you mind if we got a few shots of you? Show the women back home the tragic circumstances that we are in that we have to resort to bringing women to fight our wars?" the man asked with a wide smile.

I balled my fists and could see that he was rolling his film anyways, without my answer. I approached the camera and stopped only a foot from him. "How dare you! Both of you! Don't you have any respect? Men are dying here, and you want to tell people that things are fine? Things are not fine!"

I felt someone grab my upper arm and tug me away from the cameras. The reporters were laughing. "This is great! Keep going! Show us that anger! This is exactly what we need!"

I was being pulled away by someone as I continued shouting at them, "If anyone doesn't belong here, it's you and your stupid cameras!"

Once I was pulled around the corner of one of the houses, I was turned around to face whomever it was pulling me away from the cameras. It was Speirs.

"That's yet another moment that you've shown a backbone, Nurse Banks. I'm beginning to believe that you're actually tough," Speirs joked.

I sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just incredibly frustrating to watch the stupid things that they are doing, just for some good film."

Speirs nodded. "I can't argue with that one. But, if it helps with morale back home-"

I cut him off, "Morale back home? What about here? We're telling the men to pretend that everything is fine and showing people back home that war is a pleasant thing...How is that helping anyone?"

Before Speirs could reply, there was a loud snap that echoed across the air. Shortly after that initial shot rang out, another quickly followed. Speirs grabbed me, shielding me with his body, lowering us to the ground while shouts scattered around the town.

I glanced over to meet Speirs dark eyes. He broke the gaze to scan the area around us. Another shot rang out nearby, and he continued to shield me.

I could hear his heart beating fast within his chest as he covered me, hiding me from the sight of the sniper that we couldn't see. Hearing his heart, feeling his body protecting me and smelling his scent was comforting, even though it was a terrifying moment.

A few more shots rang out but then it was followed by loud erupting cheers from the men. Speirs whispered, "Shifty took care of it. Come on."

He stood up and helped me to my feet. He was standing so close to me that I could see every hair on his face and his eyelashes. I could feel the heat from his breath as he stood before me. I felt my lips part on their own accord as we looked at each other.

He glanced down at my lips but walked away from me. I released a short sigh, blinking away the intense gaze that he had me under. I turned my head to watch as he walked about, checking the men and getting a casualty count.

I walked around the corner and my eyes immediately fell upon one of the camera men. He had been one of the first men who was killed by the hidden sniper in the housing nearby. I felt guilty for lashing out at him, but then I remembered what I had told him. He didn't belong here. None of us did, but yet, here we were.

The men gathered around Speirs and waited for orders. Winters joined us in Foy and pulled Speirs aside to talk to him. When they both returned to us, Winters was the first to speak, "I am proud of all of you today. This was not an easy feat. You did well. I have some news and orders for all of you. First, Lieutenant Dike has been relieved of his command over Easy Company."

Sighs of relief were heard, wide, happy smiles were clearly seen over this news. I was surprised that the men didn't cheer.

Winters continued, "Lieutenant Speirs will be the new Company Commander over Easy. Treat him with the same respect as I know you have for everyone."

Speirs had glanced over to meet my eyes when the news of him taking over the company was given. I wondered if he expected a reaction from me, but the truth was, I already knew. I was still trying to figure out how I felt about it and what it would mean for the growing tension that was becoming more obvious.

"Our new standing orders are to hold Foy for a few days until we can get reinforcements in. Foy is as important to the Germans as it is to us. Eisenhower is having trouble mobilizing troops, which is why we led the initial attack here, but we will have I and D Companies here to assist. So, until further notice, dig in and ready yourselves to a possible counterattack. We've been informed that the Germans have been gathering forces and moving in this direction. Expect tanks and other heavy artillery."

The men looked defeated by those words and I couldn't blame them. We had suffered the most out of any outfit and we shouldn't have made the attack on Foy with the little men we had, but we did it because we were considered the best, not to mention the closest Eisenhower had to the village. In the meantime, we would be stuck in the town of Foy, waiting for more men to relieve us of our position. No one knew how long it would take.

Winters saluted the men, who returned the gesture before he took his leave.

The men began to follow orders to dig in and secure the area as they waited for the next attack to begin. I watched each man as they walked away. I felt a pang in my heart for each and every one of those battered men, praying that they would find relief soon.

Earth shattering booms jolted me awake. Scattered orders were being shouted across the town of Foy. One of those orders was to evacuate the buildings.

I bolted upright from my sleeping spot within one of the houses and grabbed my things, running outside. It was still dark, which told me that this attack had come in the early morning hours, in hopes to catch us off guard.

I stumbled out of the house I was in, and watched as many other sleeping men had done the same. The men quickly organized themselves as the attack began.

The Germans had started their initial attack on Foy with six tanks and an outfit of infantry. The blasts from the tanks began to pound the buildings, creating debris to come crashing down around us.

I found some cover behind some sand bags that the enemy was using before and waited for orders. I peered over the edge to watch the tanks move into position and the infantry begin their frontal assault into the village. Our men were ready for the attack and began to kill them as they made their approach. None of the enemy made it near the town.

This attack didn't last long before they sounded their retreat. One of the men next to me muttered, "If that's the best they can do for a counterattack, then I think we're going to be just fine."

I looked over at him, unconvinced. They would try again eventually, especially if this town was important to them. I just hoped we would be gone by the time they tried again.

I stood up and started to make sure that everyone was okay. As I walked around, I could feel the wind growing colder. I reached the town center and saw white flakes falling. I glanced up into the early morning sky to see that it was snowing.

We didn't have the appropriate amount of warm clothing, foot covers or sleeping bags. I wondered how much longer we would be stuck in this town.

New orders had reached us and no one liked what they heard. We were told not to sleep indoors due to the large amounts of tanks that were heading our way. The storm that was moving in had already hit part of the routes to get to Foy and because of the drifts and massive snowfall, the supplies that were already in high demand were unable to reach us. We would be in for a miserable couple of days. Rationing food had already begun, but now it would be even worse since we were unsure of when we would get supplies.

The snow had started to blow hard, covering the revealed ground again. I pulled my coat closer around me, shivering from the dropping temperatures. I suddenly missed my foxhole and the shield it provided from the winds.

The men understood the new orders and set up positions, waiting for this large attack that was due to arrive any day. We were told that the Germans had regrouped and were moving in with fourteen tanks and a full Battalion.

I huddled in a corner, trying to keep warm as the weather got worse. I could barely feel my fingertips or my face. Trying to keep my knees up to my chest for warmth didn't do much either.

As night fell, it grew colder and the wind ripped through my jacket like I wasn't even wearing one. I tried to get some sleep, but I kept shaking so badly that it kept waking me up.

I saw a silhouette approaching me. The man sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms, using his hands to rub my arms for warmth. It seemed to help, but the closeness to this person was what made a difference.

"Why don't you have a blanket?" the familiar husky voice asked.

I knew it was Speirs. My eyes were growing heavy from sleep as I muttered, "I didn't need it as badly as they did."

"You need a blanket, Emmeline," he replied with a sigh. I could tell he wasn't pleased with me, but that was all that he said on the matter.

He whispered before I fell asleep, "What am I going to do with you?"

He stayed with me until I fell asleep, keeping me warm and shielding part of me from the elements.


	72. Perspectives

The next morning, we were attacked by the large counterattack we were warned about. The enemy had succeeded in forcing the 3rd Battalion out of Foy, but with Easy and the reserves up the hill with their mortars, we were able to hold them off, and keep the town of Foy under our control.

A few days after that counterattack, we were greeted by Sink and Winters. Sink informed us that we needed to move out and secure the town of Recogne. The problem with such a task was not only because of the massive amounts of snow that we would have to dredge through, but also because the Germans held the higher ground.

Sink wanted this mission to take place at high noon, which upset Winters greatly. If Winters had his way, and if he were able to convince Sink, he would have waited until the cover of night to move out, but General Taylor, Eisenhower, Sink, and Monty all wanted to see some action. It no longer mattered what Winters wanted, we had our orders. Dog, Fox and Easy Companies would have to provide that action for their benefit.

We began to move out, standing out in the white world around us as we started to head uphill towards our goal. Winters had 2nd Battalion move along a deep shoulder towards our target. 1st Battalion had no other choice but to approach it from the hill with little to no cover.

The enemy saw 1st and immediately opened up with their 88s. They tore 1st Battalion to pieces. I stood in shock as we watched the men getting tossed in the air like ragdolls. It was horrific to watch as they were getting slaughtered.

The Germans didn't see 2nd in the shoulder, marching towards them. As we neared, we were temporarily stopped by a stream that was narrow enough for men to jump over. Just as we started getting across the stream, the enemy opened up their machine guns upon us.

We would provide covering fire to allow more of our company to get across. Everything was running smoothly until we heard a loud splash behind us. Turning around, we saw Garcia standing up, completely soaked from falling into the stream. He had been carrying the ammo bags with six mortar round inside and couldn't quite make the jump.

By the time we reached cover in another shoulder on the other side of the field, Garcia's clothes had completely frozen over. He was cracking and making so much noise that others were joking about how the enemy would hear him coming a mile away.

As we waited for new orders, I watched as Speirs had gathered the rest of the officers along with Lipton to discuss the plan.

Garcia cursed under his breath. I glanced over at him. He pointed to one of the nearby fields. When I looked over, I could understand what he was seeing and why he was upset. I wanted to cry as well.

In one of the nearby fields was a horse who had been caught in the crossfire and had one of it's front legs missing from the 88 blasts. He was completely helpless.

Garcia stated, "Though man's brutality to one another is tragic enough, to see helpless animals suffer by his actions is even more tragic."

I couldn't disagree with his statement. We were unable to do anything about the horse, given our position, but as soon as the officers were finished with their meeting, one of them had mercifully shot the horse twice in the head to end it's suffering.

When it was over, I looked at Garcia sadly. We had seen enough death and suffering, but it impacted Garcia more so with the horse. He never talked about that moment again.

Speirs rejoined our group and filled in the plan. He looked over at Garcia and myself. "You two stay here."

I blinked at him. He couldn't be serious. We would be in the shoulder and out of the fight. Garcia was okay with this plan as his clothing was a sheet of ice and it was almost impossible for him to move.

Speirs didn't bother to explain himself. Instead, he assembled the men and began to move out to secure the town of Recogne.

Garcia and I sat in the snow, shivering as we watched the unit move out. When we couldn't see them any longer, we had no choice but to listen to it around us.

Garcia leaned against the tree he was next to, rubbing his hands together to keep blood flowing. He shakily stated, "I really wish we had a fire or something."

I looked around and sighed. We had some twigs and branches from the trees near us, but I knew I didn't have matches. "Do you have matches?"

He nodded as he withdrew a packet from his bag. He looked them over thoroughly before handing them to me. "They're dry too."

I chuckled as I took them from him. "That's good. If they were wet, we wouldn't be able to do anything about it."

I crawled over to grab some of the fallen branches and pulled them over to us. I used three matches before realizing that the branches wouldn't light.

Garcia asked, "Do you have anything to use as kindling? It might help get it started."

I opened my pack and searched through, looking for something to use. I pulled out the stack of letters from Darla. I stared at the stack, feeling a deep pang of regret. Just the thought of burning her letters to me made me incredibly sad.

"What are you waiting for? I'm freezing over here," Garcia muttered.

I blinked my gaze up to him. I realized that it mattered more to keep Garcia alive than holding onto letters from a dear friend. It was the right choice to light the fire, but I still was depressed over doing so. When I got our small fire to hold a flame, Garcia mentioned that he was able to feel his fingers again.

He asked me who the letters were from, but I didn't have the heart to answer him. I just stared into the small flame, hoping that I would never have to explain why I was upset. It felt like a piece of my heart was gone now that all trace of Darla was out of my pack and burning in the fire before me.

After a long few hours of listening to the battle rage on without us, Garcia and I were sent for. We walked into town, just as we were ordered to get organized for the next assignment, which was Rachamps.

Garcia muttered to me, "So much for relief."

I ignored his statement as best as I could, but again, I couldn't disagree. We were told that we would see relief soon but as usual, the higher authorities had other plans for our outfit.

Rachamps was situated off the highway to the east of our position. The Germans who sat in the village were well prepared for our advance. Much to our displeasure of our orders, we immediately moved out without rest, leaving behind our wounded. Time was essential and the men higher up on the ranks were still wanting to see some action.

As we neared the outer rim of Rachamps, the enemy opened fire upon us. I followed Liebgott and Sergeant Hale into the outskirts of town. Once we hit the outskirts of the village, Liebgott laughed. "Look! They're running!"

I glanced into the town and saw what Liebgott was seeing. The enemy really was running out. It didn't make sense to me. They had artillery in the village and they could easily wipe us out. I wondered what the reasons were for their retreat.

It wasn't until we entered the village that the answer was evident. The enemy had started to bombard the village. They were going to try and level the entire village with us in it, rather than hold it and possibly die defending it.

Hale shouted to Liebgott and me, "Get inside this barn!"

We ducked into the cover of the nearby barn, waiting for his orders. Upon stepping across the threshold of the barn's cover, we discovered and took by surprise, six SS officers who had been shirking on their duties as officers. When they saw the three of us, they made a move for their weapons, but Liebgott and Hale stopped them.

Hale stated, "Line up over here. Now!"

The officers complied, lining up beside each other closely.

Hale firmly said, "If any of you attempt to kill any of us, we're going to take you with us."

The six officers eyed the three of us. I knew they understood what Hale was saying, and I could see the hate in their eyes. I was afraid of them. I knew that they would be able to take the three of us down if they figured out a way to do so.

Hale walked and stood by the door of the barn, peering out for a moment. He turned back to us and smirked. "Who knew that we'd be taking prisoners?"

Liebgott kept his rifle on the officers while Hale held his tommy gun in their direction. Liebgott shared the chuckle, but I hesitated. I didn't want to sit in this barn with them any longer.

An explosion landed outside the barn door, causing Hale to fall to the ground. It was after that moment that one of the officers rushed forward, pulling out a trench knife from his boot, running it across Hale's throat.

I screamed. Everything happened so quickly that none of us had a chance to react. The moment that Hale was attacked, Liebgott opened fire on all of the officers, and turned to attack the one who slit Hale's throat.

I covered my head with my hands, trembling in the corner. When the sounds inside the barn stopped, I heard Liebgott's voice speaking softly to me, "Emmeline. I need you over here."

Slowly raising my head, I saw that Liebgott had killed all of the officers and was now kneeling next to Hale, holding his throat.

I crawled over to them, still feeling shaky. When I was next to him, I could see just how badly Hale was. Even though he had been cut across the throat, it wasn't deep enough to kill him and I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or not.

I pulled out my sulfa powder and dumped it onto his wound. I looked up at Joe. "We're going to need a Jeep."

Liebgott hesitated to leave us. I nodded that we would be fine and that was all it took for him to follow my orders.

I continued to work on Hale, placing bandages on his open wound. I sighed before whispering, "You're going to be okay. You're lucky. He missed the artery and windpipe. Guess he was in a hurry."

Hale blinked at me, trying to speak, but I shushed him. I shook my head at him, offering a sympathetic smile. He knew at that moment not to speak.

When Liebgott returned, Roe was with him. Roe took over for me as I stepped outside, still shaky. They loaded Hale up onto the Jeep and took him to the aide station in Luxemburg. We would later discover that Hale had been patched up by an amazed doctor there and even gave him a note to excuse him from wearing neckties with his uniform due to his crooked esophagus that he would have to live with for the rest of his life.

Roe approached me and asked, "How are you holding up?"

I blinked over at him. "I uh...I'm okay."

"You sure?" he asked, unconvinced.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be okay."

When I met his worried gaze, his eyes told me that he didn't believe me, but didn't push me on the matter, which I was grateful for. I wasn't sure that I would be able to get that image out of my mind and I was still terrified of how badly it could have been.

It wasn't until after the Jeep had arrived for Hale that I realized that we had succeeded in taking Rachamps. It had been one of the easier attacks we had in a long while, and no one was complaining.

I began to make my rounds through the village to see if anyone needed my help. When I rounded the corner into the square, I could hear a prisoner laughing almost hysterically. I turned my attention to the huddled group of prisoners to see what he was finding so amusing.

Sergeant Radar turned his rifle onto the man, ready to kill him for laughing at him, when Speirs grabbed the gun from him, shouting, "Sergeant! The man has no lips or eyelids!"

Stepping closer to examine the prisoner, I could see that Speirs was right. The man wasn't laughing, but moaning. I turned my gaze over to Speirs and Radar.

Radar looked embarrassed as he stood there staring at the man. "Wha-?"

Speirs replied, "He lost them on the Russian front...completely frozen off."

I swallowed as I heard those words. Speirs stormed away from Radar after handing his rifle back to the man, leaving him standing next to me.

Radar whispered, "I didn't know."

"None of us did," I whispered back as we stood there taking in the man before us.

We had always thought we had it rough in the frozen forest of Bastogne and the areas around it, but we had fared slightly better than most on other lines. It took this moment in particular to realize that fact.

The sounds of Jeeps were heard entering into the square of the village of Rachamps. When they stopped, I turned to see that Sink and other officers from Battalion were climbing out. Speirs had greeted them and stated that CP was being housed in the convent just across the way and he led them there so they could discuss further orders.

Men who rode in with the officers had come to collect the prisoners. They were filed into the trucks and were driven out, to where, no one knew. I knew that they would be in a warmer place than where we were currently sitting.


	73. Names & Titles

Later that night, the nuns had come out from their hiding places to offer us drinks and what little food they had to offer. It was a grand gesture for us and we accepted whatever was given without complaint. The nuns were so happy to have us, they assembled the choir to sing songs to the men. It was beautiful to hear their songs, but after a couple of verses, I had to step outside.

I could still hear them singing even outside, but I was glad to have a moment to myself. Everything that had happened up to this point was beginning to feel surreal to me.

When we started this journey, we had so many men, so many friends and now we were few. Our friends had either been killed or wounded, sitting in a hospital somewhere. Our losses were heavy. We went into Belgium with 121 officers and men, receiving about two dozen replacements. We came out with only 63. In my notebook sat the names of the men lost - Muck, Mellett, Herron, Kenneth Webb, Harold Webb, Sowosko, Shindell, Hoobler, Hayes, Penkala and Julian, to name a few. Thinking about them made me suddenly remember Webster. Just the thought of him made me mad.

I tried to fight my anger when it came to him, but I couldn't understand why it was taking him so long to return to the lines, when so many others had found a way. I sighed as I realized that I couldn't love a man, even in the smallest ways, if he abandoned his men - his brothers in arms - abandon me this way. What made it worse was seeing how few men made it out alive from 1st platoon. Only eleven were left out of forty. Webster was a part of that platoon, too. I shook my head, trying to think of something else.

Footsteps approached me. "What are you doing out here?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see Speirs stepping out from the darkness before me. I replied, "I needed to think."

"And you couldn't do that inside?" he asked. I waited for him to lecture me, but he waited for me to answer.

I shook my head. "I needed some space."

He stopped and stood next to me. Feeling the heat coming from him was comforting.

"What happens now?" I asked, breaking the silence.

At first, he didn't speak, causing me to look up at him. He had been watching me since standing next to me, but as soon as I looked up at him, he broke contact. "We'll be resting here for the night before moving out in the morning."

I nodded aimlessly. I was just so tired of it all.

"By the way, I delivered your letter to Darla," he stated calmly.

I asked, "Are you ever going to tell me what you've done?"

He shifted next to me. "I'm taking care of it. Why do you need to know?"

"Because it involves me and frankly, I don't like not knowing what to expect," I stated.

He smirked. "Then war must be hell for you."

I sighed heavily. I knew what he meant, but it felt like a stupid thing to say. I was growing annoyed and impatient. He must have sensed it.

"I've been doing a lot of searching and digging around in Battalion. Things are going to be taken care of, Emmeline, that's all you need to know right now," he whispered.

The sound of my name being spoken by him brought back fond memories of us in the frozen forest of Bastogne. I raised my eyes to meet his dark ones. I asked, "When will you tell me of your plans?"

"When it becomes relevant," he said simply.

I swallowed. "What happens when it's too late and you can't save me?"

He turned towards me, closing the gap between us. "When have I never been there to save you?"

I trembled slightly as he towered over me. The emotions behind his eyes told me that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't let my guard down, not yet anyways.

He leaned towards me, brushing his lips just barely over mine. "I'm always there for you, even when you don't see me."

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to kiss me. Instead, I felt colder. When I opened my eyes, I watched as he walked away from me into the night.

The next morning, we had received word that we would be moving out to Alcase which was 160 miles South of Bastogne. It was a long trip for all of us, but more so for Lipton.

When we started to climb onto the trucks that would take us there, Lipton was sniffling. By the time we arrived, he was coughing and wheezing something fierce. He headed over to the medical tent, only to be diagnosed with a severe case of pneumonia and was instructed to return for a medical evac to a hospital.

Lipton had explained to the doctor there that he was unable to leave his company. Luckily for him, he didn't have a ride out of town anyways and would be stuck there for the night.

That night, I walked into the house that Lipton and Speirs were sharing to check up on him. When I rounded the corner, I saw Lipton and Speirs having a discussion on who should sleep in the lone bed that sat in the corner.

"As an enlisted man, I should be the one on the floor in the sleeping bag," Lipton stated.

Speirs glanced at me quickly as I entered before turning his gaze back to Lipton. He replied, "You're sick. Therefore, this conversation is over. Take the bed."

Speirs brushed passed him and started to head in my direction. When he reached me, he stopped for a moment and whispered, "Maybe you can talk some sense into him."

With that, he walked by me and left me alone with Lipton. I looked up at Lip and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Miserable," he said, sniffling. I offered him a sympathetic smile as I approached him.

"Why won't you take the bed? It will help you get better," I said.

Lipton replied, "He's as stubborn as they get, you know that? He's ordering me to take the bed."

"Never argue with him. You'll always lose," I stated with a smirk.

"Sounds like you're talking from experience." Lipton pointed out. I just nodded.

Before Lip could add anything else to our conversation, the elderly couple who lived in the house Lipton and Speirs were staying at had come into the room. They offered Lipton a large glass of schnapps and some strudel.

I smiled at the gesture as they stated that it would make him feel better in no time. When they left, Lipton stood there holding the items and looking at them as if they were foreign objects to him. He admitted, "I've never had anything alcoholic before."

"Well, just sip on it then. Who knows, maybe they're on to something," I replied as I observed his first sip which was met with a strong cough.

Lipton exhaled as he set the offerings down on the side table. "I guess it doesn't hurt to try."

"I'll come back to check up on you, okay? Just rest up, we'll take care of everything," I stated as I turned to leave. As I started to head out, I heard another cough come from him as he tried to take another sip of the alcohol.

Stepping out of the house, I bumped into Speirs. "Sorry," I said as I tried to walk around him.

He stopped me. "Did you have any success with him?"

I smiled. "Yes. He's going to take the bed."

"Good. Glad to hear it," he replied.

I took a step forward and heard, "Have you heard anything from Anne or Darla?"

I stopped and turned to face him. "No...why? What have you heard?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I was merely trying to start a conversation."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow at him. "You? Small talk?"

He shrugged at me. "If you'd rather I just leave you alone-"

"I didn't say that. It's just unusual that you would try to small talk anyone, least of all me," I replied, lowering my arms.

He smirked. "Perhaps people change, Nurse Banks."

I frowned at him.

"What?" he asked. "What's that face for?"

"Why do you do that? Why do you use my name and then revert back to using my title?" I asked, completely confused.

He stared at me for a moment, taking in my words. Finally he asked, "What should I do? I'm an officer, Nurse Banks. I'm not supposed to address you by your first name...I could just call you Banks, I suppose, but that doesn't seem very respectful."

I stood there listening to him explain it to me. Once again, I felt like a silly child with his explanation.

"If I had my way, I'd call you Emmeline all the time, but I can't do that. At least, not now...not at this moment in time," he added.

I sighed, feeling defeated. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just so used to everyone else using my name, and hearing it come from you those two times...well...I guess...I don't know. It's silly, forget it. I'm sorry."

I tried to turn away from him, but I felt the familiar grip on my arm, turning me back to him. He looked down into my eyes as he whispered, "Emmeline...just be patient a little while longer."

I held his stare for a while before he kissed my forehead gently. When he released his hold on me, he turned from me and headed back inside. Before closing the door to the house, he said, "I'll see you tomorrow, Nurse Banks. Get some rest."

I released the breath I was holding as he closed the door behind him. I was beginning to realize that his walls were starting to crumble down around him. I wondered how much longer it was going to be before they were completely gone and he was left standing there before me with nothing to hide behind.


	74. Louder Than Words

The next morning, I woke early and headed over to check on Lipton. I walked in to see him looking much better and talking as though he was never sick to begin with. I smiled at him as I approached. "You're looking better."

He returned my smile. "The doctor said it was a miracle that my fever broke overnight."

"Miracle, huh? Did you mention to him about that large glass of schnapps?" I asked with an amused smirk.

Lipton chuckled. "Not a peep. I'll let him have his miracle."

Speirs entered the room and glanced between the two of us, as we were sharing a laugh. He looked at Lipton and stated, "I'm glad you're feeling better. I've talked to Sink and put you in for a battlefield promotion, with Winters' approval. You're to head over to talk to Sink when you get a moment."

Lipton smiled wide. "Thank you, sir. That's just...that's..."

Speirs nodded and motioned for him to take his leave. "Better get moving, Lip if you want to catch Sink before he leaves."

Lipton smiled at the two of us before leaving the room to talk to Sink about his promotion.

I looked over at Speirs, feeling a little uncomfortable. I started to head out when I heard him say, "Wait a moment."

I stopped and turned towards him, waiting for him to continue.

His face fell as he began, "I've had word from Battalion. Turns out that Robert Lerner is a little more clever than we give him credit for."

My breath hitched. "What does that mean?"

Speirs replied, "Turns out Robert has been covering his tracks very well. He's quite cunning, as you've implied. I'm not sure there will be an easy way to take care of him."

I swallowed, hoping to hide my fear, but I knew it was showing. When it came to the Lerners, I was an open book. "What happens now?"

Speirs looked up to meet my gaze as I continued, "What do I do? Does he know where I am, how to find me?"

Speirs crossed the room to comfort my growing agitations. He embraced me as he replied, "I'm doing what I can to make sure that he doesn't."

I pushed away from him. "You have to tell me what is going on. I can't be strung along with whatever plan you have going on. Clearly, your plan isn't working!"

He narrowed his eyes at me before sighing. "You're right. I'm sorry."

I was taken aback. This was one of the few times he had apologized. Whatever was going on at Battalion involving Robert Lerner, this was huge.

Speirs began, "I went searching around about the Lerners, as I said before. Turns out that you were right. Robert is in Battalion. What I don't understand is why he hasn't made a move towards you yet."

I offered a suggestion. "Perhaps it's a mind game to him. He knows that I'm on edge, always looking over my shoulder, expecting them to jump out of the bushes for me. He enjoys my discomfort."

Speirs looked enraged. "You might be on to something there. With him working in Battalion, he has access to finding you easily."

I thought for a moment. "He has found me, hasn't he?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"If we look the events leading up to this moment, they've made their presence known from the start," I replied.

Speirs looked as though he wasn't following me. I continued, "Think about it. My first realization that they were here was at the ceremony for the fallen where I first heard about Oswald's death. Wouldn't an order for holding such a ceremony come from Battalion?"

I kept going. "There is one who was a replacement in Anne's outfit, right? Who else could place men so easily in the one place that would have me fearful for those I care about? Then there was Murray behind the lines in Bastogne..."

Speirs nodded. "Seems that you have him figured out."

"I've lived my entire life in fear because of him. I shouldn't be hiding from him anymore."

Speirs smiled proudly at me. "You've kept your backbone, Emmeline. I'm happy to see that."

I suddenly had a thought. "Wait a minute..."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"That German spy, the one you rescued me from...he said that there was a Lerner who was looking for me," I stated quietly as if the walls could hear me.

Speirs stepped closer to me and whispered, "So?"

I looked up at him, disappointed that he wasn't connecting the dots on this like he was so quick to do in the past. "Wouldn't Robert be considered a spy too? Or someone who is cavorting with one? I mean, looking at how he has been handling his power in Battalion, he's been placing his brothers in key locations-"

Finally, Speirs made the connections that I had. He nodded and whispered, "I'll look into it. Until then, keep your head down."

I nodded that I understood him. He brushed a piece of my hair from my face before he walked out of the building.

I suddenly hoped that he would be able to take care of this whole Lerner situation for me. I also was praying that he wouldn't get caught in the crossfire between me and Robert. If he did get caught in the crossfire and something terrible happened to him, I would never live with myself.


	75. Found Again

The next morning, we had gotten our new orders to head towards Haguenau which sat on the Moder River, just off the Rhine. It sounded as though we would be sent there to just wait for further instructions, but we knew better. Any time there was to be any form of action, Easy was always the ones they sent in, it just took some time.

The downside was the fact that there were enemy troopers sitting in the village just on the opposite side the river. They knew we were there as we knew they were there. Most days, we had a mutual acknowledgement that went nowhere. It was as if both sides were tired of fighting one another. The days that we did fight each other had something to do with the men on duty.

Cobb was the worst of the lot. Anytime he saw the movement in that village, he would open fire. The hurt and shocked expressions of the enemy trooper who was hit made those watching with binoculars laugh. By laughing, it had only encouraged Cobb to plink them a few more times, which received cheers from the men. I hated this ritual the men suddenly had. My personal thoughts were that if both parties of this war were tired of fighting, maybe we should just all go home. Unfortunately for me and my hopes, Hitler was still alive and we were unable to just go home.

The great thing about being stationed in Haguenau was the fact that we got to sleep indoors, just as long as we could run outside faster than the mortars that occasionally rained down on the rooftops. It was worth it as the weather hadn't improved much over the past few weeks.

When we arrived, I found an abandoned house with a small room on the top floor. Sections of the walls were missing here and there, the roof had been shelled and was falling apart, windows had been blown out from the mortar blasts as well, letting a draft in, but it was still warmer than being outside. When I found the bathroom, I could see that the sewage was backed up and the toilets were always half full with no hope of fixing it.

I forced myself to look on the positive side of things. I was alive, unlike so many of the men that I knew from the beginning of this journey. I had a bed and a roof over my head, even if it was falling apart on me. Not to mention the fact that I didn't have to find a somewhat secluded area to squat in the woods to do my business. As one of the men had stated when we had gotten settled in, we were doing well for ourselves. With an attitude and outlook like that, it was hard to look on the negatives for long.

I spent my days helping Roe with wounded as well as the men who were unfortunate enough to catch colds or other illnesses. We did the best that we could with limited supplies, but we were informed that we would see some new supplies, clothes and showers soon. Everyone waited as patiently as possible for that day.

I left the med station we had set up and began making my way to my room. As I walked down the lane, trucks had caught my attention. Not only were the supplies that were promised to us finally here, but a lot of wounded men who were returning from the hospitals were hoping off the trucks. I didn't bother looking for Webster.

I climbed the front steps to the house I was using when I heard a voice behind me say, "I found you."

I stopped at the sound of the familiar voice. The emotions that I was feeling at that moment were all over the place. I was angry. I was happy. I wanted to cry and I wanted to throw up. I took a moment to calm myself before I turned around to see that Webster was indeed standing behind me on the sidewalk, smiling up at me. I didn't smile back at him.

When I didn't smile or remark on his sudden appearance, he asked, "Aren't you happy to see me?"

I studied him for a moment. He looked incredibly well rested and well taken care for. He didn't look like any of us who had suffered in Bastogne or any other part of the war. He was clean shaven, clean uniformed...just all around clean. He looked like he had a haircut before being shipped back to us. It just made me feel worse about seeing him.

I didn't reply to his question. Instead, I turned around and walked into my housing, shaking my head in disbelief. It took a lot of restraint to keep from lashing out at him. Deep down, I knew and had to remind myself that this was who he was. He wasn't a soldier and always looked to find a way out of combat. The only thing that he wanted was to write a book about the war and his experiences. I wondered how large the section about the hospital was going to be.

He must have gotten the point because he didn't follow me into the house. He watched me from his spot for a moment before turning and walking down the lane towards the CP. I watched him from behind the musty curtains in the other room.

When he was out of sight, I stepped away from the window. A voice spoke to me from behind, "You certainly have a knack of surprising me, Nurse Banks."

I looked over my shoulder to see Speirs standing there. I shrugged. "I figured you would have seen that coming."

"See what coming? You giving Private Webster the cold shoulder? No, that wasn't expected," he replied honestly.

Inhaling deeply, I asked, "What can I do for you?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just stopped by to see how you were doing."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Checking up on me...to see what? To see if I'd throw myself at Webster?"

Speirs chuckled. "That may have been one reason, sure."

"What would you have done if I had thrown myself at him?" I asked.

He replied, "I was at least expecting you to hug him or welcome him back as you've done for everyone else."

"Sorry to disappoint you," I whispered as I walked away from him. I headed to my room and closed the door. I listened for sounds of him following me, but instead, I heard the front door open and close, then silence filled the house.


	76. In Need Of Prisoners

That afternoon, I was finally allowed to have the shower tent to myself. I realized just how much I had missed having an actual shower. I had used creeks and streams behind the lines as well as sponge baths, but there was something surreal and wonderful about having an actual shower with hot clean water.

I could physically see the grim, dirt and blood that had been caked onto my skin for months washing away. My skin felt like it was singing from the feeling of being able to breathe again. It was at this moment that I realized that I could not take something as simple as a shower for granted again. I never wanted to forget the simplicity of such a feeling.

When I finished, I dressed and exited the tent. As soon as I was outside the tent, the cold air engulfed me and I quickly pulled the front of my jacket closed to keep my core temperature up.

Looking over the courtyard, I could spy Webster and a new officer standing across the way, both looking miserable. I wondered why they looked that way, but I honestly didn't care enough to bother asking.

Webster's eyes met mine and he offered a kind smile, but I just walked away. A part of me felt guilty for treating him this way, but on the other hand, we had men who were wounded severely go AWOL to get back to the company, while he sat there, safe behind any harm. It didn't seem right to me.

As I headed towards the aide station, I was greeted by a Private. "Are you Nurse Banks?"

I had to keep from sighing. I was the only nurse out this way and it felt like a stupid question. It was one that I had to answer this entire war, but for some reason, I was annoyed by it. I nodded to the man.

He handed me a letter. "I was ordered to deliver this to you."

I took it from him and nodded my thanks. Once he walked away from me, I glanced down at the envelope. It was Darla's handwriting.

I sat down on the steps outside the aide station and opened it.

Dear Emmeline,

I must say that I was surprised to see your letter along with one from Lieutenant Speirs! He was telling me to keep my head down for my protection as well as Anne and yours. There is something wonderful about that man, I must admit.

He explained to me that one of the Lerner boys is in Battalion and is watching all of us closely. I must say that I was very scared to write to you or Anne after hearing about such things, but I guess you could say that if that Lerner boy wanted to harm me, he would have done so by now.

I hope that you haven't had too much trouble regarding those men. Lieutenant Speirs did talk a little bit in his letter about the ones you know about - the ones that have died already. I know that Anne has mentioned the one with her several times in her letters, but she has voiced concerns about his character as of late.

In her letters, Anne has told me about this man's short temper. Whenever he asks about your whereabouts and she answers honestly (because I haven't told her much about you or where you are), he reacts in such an angry manner that she withdraws from him. Of course, by doing that, he comes to her and apologizes. She tells him that it's fine, but she's beginning to regret spending so much time with him. I've only offered her some advice about trying to put some distance between them, but as you know that is hard to do when you're behind lines together.

I am not meant to tell you this, but Lieutenant Speirs has been keeping a close eye on you. He told me that he wants to make sure that you come through this alive and well. He is concerned about the Lerners and has told me that he is looking into the matter personally. I think he is quite smitten with you.

Speaking of being smitten with you, I just saw Webster leaving this afternoon on a truck. It would appear that he has been cleared for duty and is being sent back to your company. He did have to put up a slight fight to rejoin Easy Company, but it sounds like you were hit pretty hard on the lines, because they didn't give him too much trouble for his request. I think he wanted to find you again.

When you do see Webster, don't be too hard on him. He followed orders to stay here and go through his rehab and physical therapy. I know that a lot of the other men in your company had left against doctor's orders to return to the line, but you know how Webster is. He does love you and I hope that you at least stay friends with him, since I think you're as much in love with Lieutenant Speirs as he is in love with you.

Well, I think I've wasted more than enough of your time. Wherever you are, dear sweet Emmeline, stay safe. I love you and I think of you often. I hope to see you soon.

Forever your friend,

Darla

I finished reading her letter and placed it inside my coat for safe keeping. I was reminded of the painful memory of burning all of her other letters to keep Garcia warm so he wouldn't lose his fingers. This was the only letter that I now carried from Darla.

Sighing, I stood up and headed inside. I had to do something to keep my mind from racing in a million different directions.

When I walked inside and saw Winters, Nixon and Speirs standing there. I stopped dead in my tracks, unsure if I should leave or not.

They turned to acknowledge my presence. Speirs saw my confusion and the battle inside my head about turning around and leaving as he spoke, "Nurse Banks, would you mind talking some sense into Sergeant Lipton? He seems to think that the couch is the better place for him instead of the bed."

I tilted my head at him in confusion as I wasn't sure what he was talking about. I crossed the room and saw Lipton cuddled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. His nose was bright red and chapped. I gave him a sympathetic glance when he looked up at me.

I knelt down in front of him. "What happened? I thought you were cured."

"Guess it was temporary," Lipton replied with a chuckle. He added, "Honestly, I think I got sick again from some of the new replacements. One was hacking his lungs out earlier."

I sighed and asked, "Why aren't you in bed?"

"If I'm needed-" he started.

"You won't be," I stated.

Lipton smirked before coughing into his elbow. "I just want to make useful."

I nodded. I understood that feeling all too well. "I'm sure we can find you if we need you. Besides, the sooner you rest up, the quicker you can be out here helping us."

He eventually gave in and I helped him into the back room where the bed was set up. Once he was under the covers, he released a heavy sigh.

"I'd offer to get you some more schnapps and strudel, but we're fresh out. I'll make sure that Luz gets some coffee and tea back here for you, though," I stated with a smile.

Lipton chuckled at my joke. "That'd be great. Thank you, Emmeline."

I nodded as I turned and headed out of the room, closing the door behind me to allow him some privacy to rest.

When I returned to the main room, the meeting between Speirs, Winters and Nixon was over. The men were beginning to assemble outside to discuss their orders, whatever they were.

Speirs was still inside, checking over documents when his eyes darted to meet mine. "I'm amazed that you were able to convince him to go back there. I've been trying for hours."

"I didn't realize that there was something I was better at than you," I replied facetiously. Speirs raised an amused eyebrow at me, but said nothing more on the matter.

I stepped up to the window and watched the men. "What's going on?"

Speirs was suddenly standing behind me. "We have a patrol across the river tonight."

I turned to look at him. "What?"

He nodded. "Small group of men will head over the river to the German outpost and bring back prisoners."

"Why on earth do we need prisoners now?" I questioned.

Speirs simply said, "Those are our orders."

"Are you leading this?" I asked, trying to hide all emotion, as he would.

He shook his head, holding my gaze. "No. I'm coordinating things from this side."

I must have looked relieved as his stern gaze softened. He added, "We will need you to be available should anything go wrong tonight."

"Of course. Where do you want me to be?" I asked.

He turned and walked away from me as he said, "There's a farmhouse by the river. That's where we are gathering. Might as well sit tight inside the basement there and wait for further instructions."

I nodded aimlessly as I stood there. "What time?"

"2200." He didn't look back at me. He focused all of his attention on the documents on the table before him. I took that as my sign to leave.


	77. Rocking the Boat

An hour before the men were due to assemble in the basement of the farmhouse for the patrol, I arrived to start a fire in the chimney. Once it started to hold it's flame, I sat down next to it. Staring into the bright orange flame, I lost myself in thought. I didn't even realize that I had started biting my lip.

The sounds of the door creaking open behind me had jolted me back to the present. I quickly glanced over my shoulder to see who had suddenly joined me in the basement.

I recognized the young man who blinked at me in bewilderment. He was the young officer that I had seen with Webster earlier in the afternoon. He was younger than I had originally thought, but that could be because I was closer to him than before.

He cleared his throat as he removed his helmet, placing it under his arm. "Is this the right farmhouse?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I was ordered to be here in case I was needed," I replied simply. When he didn't budge, I added, "I also figured you guys might like to have a warm fire to sit around while you're preparing your patrol."

He sighed, finally relaxing as he stepped across the room to join me in front of the fire.

I eyed him out of the corner of my eye as I tried to keep from staring at him. He was eager and that made me nervous for him. History has proven itself that the eager ones were the first to get killed in any mission or patrol. I hoped I was wrong this time.

"How long have you been a field nurse?" he asked me.

I blinked at the question. "Since training."

"You've been here since the start?" he asked, seemingly surprised that I was still alive.

I furrowed my brows at him. "You sound surprised."

"Sorry, it's just that I've heard a lot of stories back at West Point about the women who volunteered for positions such as yours. I didn't expect to see a nurse on the lines." He rubbed his hands over the fire as he spoke his honest truths.

I sighed as I turned my attention back to the fire. "To be honest with you, I think I had a lot of help making it this far."

I waited for him to say something but he didn't. Instead, he just nodded and continued to sit by the fire next to me.

When the door opened behind us, the new officer quickly stood up and walked away from me. I wondered if he thought it wasn't appropriate for him to be in such close proximity to a lowly nurse.

The men began to file into the basement of the house. I could see the anxiety on their faces. When I spied Webster slip into the room, I tensed. I hoped he wouldn't try to talk to me here, in front of all of these people.

He met my gaze, but didn't offer his smile or even acknowledge that I was there. I couldn't blame him for treating me that way, as I had only done so this entire time he had returned.

Winters, Speirs and Nixon had entered the basement. Winters scanned the room of twenty men selected for this patrol. I could see the glimmer of guilt in his blue eyes. I felt a pang in my chest for him. I hadn't thought about how hard it was for him to order such a mission. When his eyes landed on mine, he offered a small quick smile before turning to address the men.

I couldn't concentrate on what was being said. I was so busy watching the men, memorizing their faces and praying that they'd make it back safely. It felt like we had endured the most in this war, lost the most men compared to any company in this outfit, and yet, we were being ordered across a cold river to gather prisoners.

When Winters and Nixon walked out of the room, Speirs held my gaze for a moment before he followed the others into the night. Redirecting my attention to the men, they had already begun gathering their things and darkening them to avoid detection from the moonlight.

The men started to slather the face paint onto their faces and hands. I suddenly had flashbacks of the men doing the exact same thing prior to our jump on D-Day. As I thought back to that day, my eyes started to swell with tears as I remembered all that we lost that day and the days to follow. I suddenly remembered Thomas.

I didn't want to break down in front of the men, so I stood up and quickly stepped outside into the night air. Once I was outside, I could finally breathe again. I blinked rapidly trying to will the tears away.

I don't even know how long I was standing outside when the men started to leave the farmhouse basement. As they passed me, I silently said their names in my mind, keeping track of who was going.

Webster had stopped briefly next to me and whispered softly in my hear, "Whatever it was that I did to you, I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me."

I looked up at him. He smiled sadly at me as he walked back into the group of men who were heading to the river.

I sighed heavily, feeling defeated, rubbing my hands over my face. Life wasn't meant to be this hard.

The men jumped into the rubber boats that Nixon was able to get from HQ and they began to cross the river. I was about to head back inside where the warm fire was, when I heard a loud splash followed by shouts from me, one in particular crying about how he couldn't swim.

I rushed to the riverfront. Two men were struggling to get out of the freezing water. I stepped into the water, grabbing one of their arms and pulling them out of the river. By the time I managed to get the one out, the other had gotten out himself. When I looked at the two of them, I noticed who it was. McCreary and Cobb.

I stated, "Get inside the basement! There's a fire and blankets. We need to get you warmed up."

The men didn't argue. They quickly fled into the basement. As I turned to follow them, I could see the brooding eyes of Speirs on me. I shrugged at him. What was I supposed to do?

I walked into the basement and they had blankets tightly wrapped around them. I smiled at them as I started to make some coffee for them.

Cobb started in on McCreary. "I told you not to rock that boat! I knew it was going to tip!"

"It didn't tip for the full boats before us," McCreary replied calmly.

Cobb wouldn't let it go. "They weren't rocking it! If you had just listened to me-"

I finally sighed and muttered, "Just like Normandy, huh Cobb?"

Cobb glared at me as I handed McCreary his cup of coffee. "What?"

"Coffee, Cobb?" I asked sweetly, holding out the cup for him.

He narrowed his eyes at me, but took the cup from me. I chuckled as I walked away from the two of them to make more coffee for when the men returned.


	78. Mistakes

The one thing that I have always hated about being behind the lines, was waiting. I think it was worse to sit and wait for the men to return, listening to the action around you. The explosions across the river, the whistle being blown, shouts from the men and guns being fired were suddenly filling the air. It was hard for me to not worry about what was happening out there.

When the door burst open, it startled the three of us inside. Glancing up to see the men pouring inside, pushing the enemy prisoners into an isolated corner made my heart stutter.

My heart stopped beating when I saw that Jackson was being carried and placed onto the table in the middle of the room. He was screaming and begging not to die. I immediately jumped to my feet, pushing the men aside so that I could get in next to him.

I could hear shouts from a couple of the men. "Let me kill 'em! Let me kill 'em! I want to kill these bastards!"

I glanced up to see several men holding back the ones who were so blinded by their anger over what had happened. I was suddenly terrified. It seemed like the first time in a long while that I was genuinely scared.

Jackson had taken several shrapnel fragments from a grenade to the face and neck. He was in so much pain that he was crazed. I spotted a couple of pieces that had been lodged into his skull and brain.

As I started to wipe the blood from his face, he grabbed my coat tightly, pulling me in close. It startled the men so much, they tried to free me from his hold.

Jackson cried, "Kill me! Kill me! Just kill me! I can't stand it! Please, for the love of God, just kill me!"

I felt the tears falling from my eyes as I held the crazed kid's stare. I glanced up to see Martin stop kicking the prisoners when he heard Jackson's pleas.

Martin looked at the kid. "We're not going to kill you, Jackson. You know why? Because there's always hope."

Martin looked at me and repeated, "There's always hope."

I shivered from his words. I looked back down to Jackson.

Jackson sobbed, "Just kill me...I want Mercier! Where's Mercier?"

Mercier pushed his way next to Martin and took Jackson's hand. "I'm right here. It's okay, buddy. It's okay. You're going to be okay."

Jackson's grip on my coat had loosened and I pulled away from him. Roe ran into the building and looked at me before turning his attention to Jackson.

I stood there, dumbfounded and useless. I glanced about the room. Everyone was shaken up by Jackson. The prisoners sat in the corner, motionless. They didn't move a muscle or finger, and their expressions were so vacant. They were so completely poised that it made me sick.

Roe shouted his orders, "We need to get him to the aide station! Let's go!"

Mercier held Jackson's hand all the way to the aide station. Unfortunately, Jackson died on that stretcher before he arrived at that aide station. He wasn't even twenty years old. He hadn't even started to live his life yet.

Mercier had requested that he be the one to turn the prisoners over to Battalion as a tribute to Jackson, and no one denied that chance for him. When he handed those men over to Battalion, he was grinning ear to ear.

The rest of the night was no longer silent. Both sides had opened fire and began shelling the other with few breaks in between.

When morning arrived, I decided that it was time for me to seek out Webster and apologize for my behavior. It didn't mean that I still didn't feel the way that I did about him and his lack of trying to get back to the men, but after the way Jackson was killed, I was forced to realize that even though life is short, it's even shorter for the men.

I walked down the lane to the riverside and spotted Webster with Cobb and a few others. When I approached the group, Cobb and the others left while Webster stayed behind, staring across the river.

"You okay?" I asked him as I stopped next to him.

He nodded aimlessly.

I glanced across the river and asked, "What are you looking at?"

He asked, "Do you hear anything?"

I listened for a moment and didn't hear anything but the wind. "No. Nothing."

Webster never took his eyes away from one spot across the river. "There was a German prisoner that was shot in the lungs. During the scuffle, we left him on the riverbank. He was wheezing all night during the barraging. Every time we had a break in the shelling, we could hear him."

I looked up at him. He looked upset and distraught over what he was saying. I let him continue.

"A couple of the guys and I agreed that we needed to kill him because if he was rescued by his men, he could tell them all about what's going on over here, our whereabouts...all of that. So, we threw some grenades over there, but we could still hear the wheezing. We tried again, but he was still alive."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"We decided to just let the man die on his own, but when the shelling stopped early this morning, the wheezing was getting on everyone's nerves. Cobb was the one to end the man's life," Webster stated sadly.

I watched his expression. He was upset over what had happened. I asked, "Why did you do what you did?"

Webster sighed. "I pitied him...dying all alone in a country far from home, dying slowly without hope or love on a dirty little river, helpless."

Finally he turned to me and asked, "What brings you out here?"

I bit my lip as I said, "I came to apologize to you."

"For what?" he asked.

I replied, "I've been quite distant with you since you've returned and I know that it's not your fault. I'm sorry that I've treated you that way."

"You're not the only one who has," he stated as he began to walk away.

I followed him. "I know better. I was just so frustrated with you for not coming back to me, like you said you would."

He turned to face me. "I told you that I would come back, and I did! It's not my fault that the hospital ordered me to stay there!"

I clenched my teeth before saying, "You could have tried harder to get out, like so many others did."

He furrowed his brow at me. "What does that mean?"

"Do you know how many men went AWOL from that hospital to get back to the lines, to their brothers in arms? Men who were not cleared by any means to be back on the lines, but they found a way. You want to know why the men treat you poorly like a replacement? That's why. You decided to stick it out in that hospital instead of coming back to the lines," I spat.

When I went to walk away from him, he grabbed my arm, whirling me around to face him. "Is that what you think? You think that I didn't try hard enough? Or are you mad that I wasn't there for you to hold your hand at night?"

I was taken aback by his words. "What?"

"You heard me. Are you mad because I didn't bail out of that hospital the moment I was sent in to come running back to you like a little lost puppy? Are you that naive?" he shouted at me.

I jerked my arm away from him. "I was trying to apologize, but clearly I made a mistake."

"Clearly," he spat back at me.

I scoffed and marched away from him, never looking back.

I rounded the corner into the square of the town and observed Sink and some other officers from Battalion climbing out of the Jeeps. I stopped dead in my tracks. I glanced at the men from Battalion, but didn't recognize any of them, except Sink.

"He's not here," the familiar husky voice spoke behind me.

I sighed a breath of relief as I turned towards Speirs. "That's a relief.

"Want to tell me what happened between you and Webster?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing happened."

"Didn't look like nothing," he stated.

I furrowed my brow. "Where do you hide when you follow me around? Why is it that you always know what I'm up to?"

He smirked. "You're just not very aware of your surroundings."

"Apparently," I retorted.

Speirs asked again, "So what happened?"

I sighed. "I went to apologize, but it ended up in a fight. Let's just leave it at that."

He nodded, letting it go.

The wind picked up and the temperature dropped significantly. I crossed my arms over my chest. When I saw white flakes falling, I scoffed. "Again?"

Speirs rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "This is going to make tonight difficult."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

Speirs stated, "Sink was so pleased with how the patrol went last night, that he has ordered another one for tonight and will be watching."

"What? You can't be serious!" I remarked. "What did those prisoners say that we would have to do this again? Do they not care that we lost a man, nearly two more to hyperthermia?"

Speirs shrugged. "It doesn't matter what was said or who we lost. The point of the matter is that we were successful and we are to do it again."

"This is a mistake," I said, shaking my head.

Speirs gave a short curt nod, but said nothing more on the matter.

"When does this one happen?" I asked.

"I have to go to the briefing now. You'll know once I know something," he stated as he took his leave from me.


	79. Change of Plans

I sat on the steps of my housing, looking down at the pages in my notebook. The book had a few pages left, but all of the pages that had been used were filled with names of those that we had lost. I had scribbled Jackson's name on a page already, but staring at it next to all the others was numbing.

Sighing, I closed the book and tossed it back into my pack. The book would have been long filled by now if I had filled in the names of those that I had tags for, that I hadn't had time to put into the book. I knew that I would need another notebook for that. It still felt right to write their names in a notebook and follow up with the families when the war was over, but I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Glancing about the town we were in, the snow had covered the ground. Every time you would take a step, the loud crunching beneath your boots were deafening. I worried about this patrol and how it wasn't going to be stealthy as it should be.

When I heard the snow crunching as someone was approaching me, I looked over my shoulder to see Speirs sitting down next to me on the steps.

He passed me his gloves and I took them greedily. Slipping my hands inside, I could feel the warmth engulf my frozen fingers and I smiled. "Thank you."

He nodded that he heard me. "What are you doing outside?"

"I wanted the fresh air," I admitted.

He shook his head and tried to keep from giving me a lecture. I had to keep from laughing at him.

I asked, "So, what's going to happen tonight?"

"Sink wants the patrol. It will be the same group of men, a few hours later in the night than before," Speirs replied.

After a moment's silence, I muttered, "I hate this."

He glanced over at me. "I know."

"I'm not talking about just the patrol," I added.

"I know," he whispered.

I turned to look at him in the eyes. He held my gaze with such intensity that my heart had stopped. I was no longer cold and I didn't want this moment to stop.

A voice spoke before us, "Sir? Captain Winters is looking for you."

Speirs quickly broke eye contact with me and stood up. "Thank you, Private."

With that said, he walked away from me once more. When my eyes landed on the Private that had come to get Speirs, it was Webster.

His face was reddening. I knew he was mad. I waited for him to say something like I could see that he wanted to.

His fists balled up as he shook his head. "Well, I guess that explains everything, doesn't it?"

I slowly started to stand up. "Web-"

"No. Don't. You don't get to comfort me," he spat.

I stood there awkwardly. "What do you want me to say?"

"You don't have to say anything. Everything's already been said loud and clear." He stormed away from me.

I sighed as I hung my head in defeat, trying to figure out what to do about everything.

That night, I joined the men inside the basement of the farmhouse once more. I isolated myself in the corner, trying not to make eye contact with any of them after seeing Webster's heated gaze fall on me when I entered. The tension was so thick in the room, I knew it wasn't just between Webster and me.

Cobb had gotten a hold of some schnapps and was drunk. He was making rude comments to everyone, but when his eyes landed on me, he quickly turned his attention back to Webster. "What are you looking at, Webster?"

I glanced over at Webster, waiting for a reaction. He looked taken off guard by Cobb's slurred aggression. No one said a word, but the tension increased.

When nothing was said, Cobb continued, "You think you're so special, college boy? But you're not...you couldn't even keep a girl like Emmeline."

Everyone's eyes darted to me, causing me to shift uncomfortably in my seat. Webster was still unsure what to say, but had looked over at me, waiting for me to say something, but words failed me. I had seen Cobb drunk before, but not this drunk, not this angry.

"What's the matter, Webster? Too embarrassed to tell us all about it? Or is it just because she's not that good?" Cobb slurred.

Finally Foley shouted, "Cobb, shut up! You're out of line, not to mention the fact that you're drunk before a patrol!"

"I'm sorry, should I have saved some for you, sir?" he asked with sarcasm.

Foley and a few others stood up as Foley said, "I'm ordering you to shut up and stand down, Cobb."

Cobb began mouthing off to Foley again and as he made a move towards the men, two men nearest Cobb had tackled him to the floor by my feet. I quickly moved across the room, where Webster had pulled me out of harm's way.

As Cobb continued shouting, Martin pulled his handgun from his holster, but Foley ordered him to put it away.

"Cobb, I'm having you arrested. Take him to Regiment for lockup," Foley ordered. The two men who had tackled Cobb, escorted the drunk man out of the building towards Regiment. Foley turned to address Martin, "I'm going to head over there and start the court martial paperwork before Sink readies the patrol. You're in charge."

Martin nodded and once Foley was out of the basement, Martin looked at the rest of us. "Everyone all right?"

Martin was looking at me and Webster when he asked that question. We both nodded as the rest of the men settled back into their seats.

I walked away from Webster and headed outside to see if there was anything I could do to help with Cobb. Even though he could be a jerk a lot of the time, I knew that somewhere deep down, there was a kinder side of him. I had seen it before, but it was rare these days. He was so angry and bitter that we were still being sent into the middle of the fray. I couldn't blame him for that.

When I entered the building holding Battalion, I had caught the last end of the conversation between Sink and Foley. Sink stated, "You know, you could have saved us a lot of work by just shooting him."

The men chuckled as they took Cobb with them back to Regiment. Foley approached me once the men were outside and he asked, "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "He was drunk. He didn't know what he was saying."

"I know, but we had to get him out of here for the safety of everyone else. He might be back in a few days if Sink can handle him that long," Foley stated with a chuckle.

I smirked as I walked with him back to the basement of the farmhouse.

Once we returned to the farmhouse, it wasn't long before Winters and Speirs joined us. Winters filled the men in on the mission at hand, giving them the time and place this one was to happen. After he asked if everyone understood the mission, the unexpected happened.

Winters said, "Good, because I want you to get a good nights sleep. We move out early in the morning. Thanks to Cobb and the effects of the whiskey Colonel Sink had this afternoon, you won't have him here to watch."

The men sighed breaths of relief at the news and I glanced up at Speirs, who in turn was watching me for my reaction. When I smiled at him, he gave me a quick half smile before walking outside with Winters.

The next morning, word had come to us that Cobb was not to be released and wouldn't be rejoining us before we moved out of Haguenau. Our West Pointer, Jones had been promoted, much to the disgust of the men in our ranks since the kid only had one mission under his belt, and was moving to Battalion. Captain Winters was promoted to Major after turning in a report, that only Easy Company would know that it was a bogus report, about the patrol that never happened. In addition to all of that, we were ordered to a reserve area, off the front lines.

This was the first time that Easy Company had been in the reserve area of the war. We had seen supplies come in and were amazed at the rations that we were seeing come through. Unfortunately, we also were able to see why none of it ever reached the front lines. By the time the staff at Battalion and Regiment finished taking the pick of the litter and the truck drivers taking a cut from the stash, the riflemen on the lines were lucky to get C rations and a pack of despised cigarettes. While we were in Haguenau, the men were given beer rations, three bottles per man. That was Heaven enough, but when we saw the shipments arrive, we knew just how terrible things had become when the officers were stealing from the front lines. It made a lot of men bitter. I couldn't blame them either.

For the first time in a long while, I was feeling optimistic that Easy Company was heading for something grand. We would survive this war and we could feel it deep down that it was starting to finally come to an end. It was just a matter of time before we would be allowed to go home after all of these long years. Every one of us craved that very moment. There were times where it felt like a dream just out of reach, but now, it felt real.


	80. Nerves

We were ordered into Germany. For the first time in this war, we were standing on enemy soil. We met little resistance on our journey to get to this point. The men were convinced that the Germans had given up and had run the other way, leaving their country to us. The natives who stayed in their villages and towns were not pleased to see us, but they didn't try to do anything to make us feel that they were a threat. Of course, that didn't stop the men from trying to fraternize with the women, most of whom were not interested in their advances, regardless of the men's offerings.

Eventually, we had gotten into a routine as we stayed in Sturzelberg. It was comfortable and began to feel like home. I knew I wasn't the only one who felt the same way.

I walked down the lane, taking in the sunny day. I missed seeing the warm sun. It felt like it had been forever and a day being stuck in the snow and cold. I loved every moment of this wonderful weather. Each morning as I walked down the lane, the locals had grown accustomed to seeing me. They would nod and smile as I walked by. I returned the gesture. In part, they were like my neighbors and it felt like the right thing to do. Things began to feel more like home here.

As I walked, I heard footsteps running up behind me. I glanced over my shoulder when I heard my name being called out. I stopped so Talbert could catch up to me.

"Floyd. What can I do for you?" I asked as we returned to the walk.

He caught his breath before asking, "Have you seen Webster lately?"

I shook my head. "Not since Haguenau. Why do you ask?"

"He's been acting strangely. I thought maybe you'd know what's bothering him," he replied.

I sighed. "I think he's mad at me."

Talbert looked taken back by my comment. "Why would he be mad at you? You're his best friend."

I smirked. "Somehow I doubt that."

I remembered the fights that we had in Haguenau and how angry he was when he saw Speirs talking to me. Even after I tried to apologize to him, it seemed as though he hated me. Thinking about how others thought we were close friends, made me wish that it were true. It may have been true during training, but now...I wasn't so sure.

"Do you think you could try to talk to him anyways? He's moping about and it's starting to annoy some of the other men," Talbert admitted.

I nodded, inhaling deeply. I wasn't sure how or when, but I agreed to talk to Webster. If anything, I could tell him that he was starting to cause problems in the ranks. I just hoped that it wouldn't turn out to be another heated battle between the two of us. I also hoped that he wouldn't cast me out from his life forever, but until we talked, I'd never know.

"I'll try, but no promises," I told him.

"That's all I ask!" he replied with a smile. He nodded to me as he took his leave.

I continued my walk, contemplating when I should confront Webster.

Upon my walk, I passed the building that housed Battalion and the senior officers. The front door was open and I could hear numerous men laughing. For some unknown reason, chills ran down my spine. I was suddenly on edge. I stopped in front of the building next to HQ. I couldn't push myself forward. It felt like something was telling me to turn and run the other way, I just didn't know why.

When I finally turned around to head the opposite direction, I slammed into someone. Glancing up to see who I had practically bowled over, my eyes met those familiar brooding ones of Speirs.

Before I could speak a word, he quickly took my hand and pulled me away from the building that gave me chills. He didn't stop or let go of my hand until we were back at my housing, which was on the other side of the town.

Once inside my housing, he released my hand and closed the door behind us. I turned to him and asked, "What was that?"

He turned from the door to look at me. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't pinpoint. I hadn't seen this side of him and it made me nervous. I felt myself starting to chew on the inside of my lower lip.

Speirs crossed the threshold towards me. Placing both of his calloused hands on either side of my face, he pulled me into a deep and passionate kiss. Everything happened so quickly, I didn't have a chance to react, even if I wanted to. Using his body, he pushed us into the wall as he deepened the kiss. Feeling his eager tongue trying to gain access to my mouth caused me to surrender to him. He didn't hesitate once I had surrendered. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, caressing mine eagerly. It was if he had been starving for this moment and he was now allowed to feast upon me.

When he finally pulled his lips from mine, I whispered, "Wha- what was that?"

He whispered back, "I needed to talk to you."

I blinked up at him. "Talk?"

"Your Lerner at Battalion is making a trip out here," he started.

I cut him off. "You- you just kissed me and you want to talk about the Lerners?"

He lowered his hands from my face and backed away from me, suddenly appearing as he had this entire war. Distant, reserved and obeying orders, always keeping me at arms length. I was confused as to what was going on and what that kiss meant.

"I didn't want to keep you in the dark regarding the Lerners. Sink knows that the Lerner at Battalion knows you. He was going to ask you about it when he saw you. When I saw you standing outside HQ, I knew I had to get you away from there as quickly as I could," he stated, avoiding eye contact with me.

"So, he's here?" I asked, realizing that I wasn't going to get anything more from him.

He shook his head. "No, not yet. But he will be here soon."

I looked at him. "What do I do?"

Finally, he looked up at me. "Lay low. Steer clear of Sink and the others from Battalion. With any luck, they'll forget to ask you about him."

"And if they find me?" I asked, clearly starting to panic.

"Then we'll figure something out," he replied.

"We?" I asked.

He shifted in his place, wanting to come to me but holding back. "I won't abandon you. I'll do whatever I can to keep him away from you."

I choked on my words. "I hope you can."

I could see the internal battle that waged on inside his mind. There was a part of him that wanted to come to me, embrace me as he had done the moment we had entered my housing, but he was fighting the urge. I had the same battle within me that I was fighting. I wanted to go to him, but I didn't.

He turned and left the building, leaving me alone in the empty house to dwell on the what ifs.


	81. Between the Lines

That afternoon, I found myself at the med station, checking inventory and helping Roe as much as I could. There wasn't a lot to do, but I wanted to keep busy and out of the way as Speirs had ordered me. When one of the new replacements entered the building and sat down on one of the cots, I walked over to him.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, quickly looking over him, searching for a wound of some kind.

He spoke through his shaky voice, "I just need a quiet place to be alone."

"Alone? So you come here?" I asked. It seemed odd to me that he would choose our makeshift hospital, where people float in and out all day and night, to be alone.

I heard a small sniffle before he lifted his head and asked, "Is it all right that I'm here?"

I held his sad eyes for a moment. "What happened?"

He released a heavy sigh, looking back down to his boots. "I- nothing."

"Nothing, huh? Doesn't sound like nothing," I remarked. I crossed my arms and waited. "Look, I don't care if you hide out here, but I need to know what happened so that I can make up an excuse as to why you're taking a bed."

He finally muttered, "They hate me."

"Who hates you?" I asked.

"All of them. Why do they hate me?" he asked.

I sighed. "What's your name?"

"Paddy."

"Paddy. Replacement?" I asked.

He nodded.

I added, "The thing is, Paddy, you're new. You haven't been through what the others have. You haven't seen everything the others have. To them, you're here, wide eyed and bushy tailed, ready for action. Am I right?"

He sniffled again, nodding.

I stated, "Let me tell you something. The reason they don't like you, aside from what I've already said, is because you've glorified war. You're excited to be on the front lines, to see action, to kill another man - all for some stupid idea of honor that your father and grandfather instilled on you when you enlisted. Then you probably had some pushy training officer who told you that you were expected to jump into enemy territory and kill as many of those bastards as possible and if you failed, you failed your family. War isn't glamorous or glorious. It's dirty, ugly and lethal. You start in training thinking that you're invincible, that nothing can touch you, that you're going to be the best there is, but once you see the amount of death that they have, taken the pain they have, watched and held your best friend die in your arms as the world continues on around you...until you've seen that kind of pain and suffering, you'll never be anything more than just a replacement to them. They don't care about your name, where you're from or where you want to go. They've seen too many replacements like you die the moment their feet hit the foxhole."

Paddy stared at me as I lectured him. I could see it in his eyes that for the first time, everything made sense.

I said, "Stop trying to make them like you, Paddy, and stop trying to get out on the lines. That's not the place for you." I looked him over one last time before saying, "Now, rest up. I'll check up on you later."

I turned and walked away from the kid.

Once I turned around, I saw Webster walk into the med station. When our eyes locked, I froze. I wasn't prepared to talk to him yet, but I wasn't sure I would get another chance.

I approached him. "Hello, David."

"Emmeline," he replied curtly.

The tension was thick. I shifted uncomfortably in my spot. "What can I do for you?" I felt like I was asking that a lot lately.

"I actually came to talk to you," he replied.

"I need to talk to you too," I admitted.

He continued, "This may sound cliché, but I don't want to lose you without a fight. I don't want to lose you and if the only way I can keep you in my life is as my friend, then that will have to do."

I stood there, listening to what he was saying. I could see the pain in his eyes, the betrayal, but I knew that they reflected in my own eyes as well.

We stood there awkwardly for a moment before he muttered, "Say something."

I bit my lip. "What do you want me to say?"

He shrugged. "Anything. Just talk to me."

"The men are worried about you," I started. I didn't know what to say to him, other than what Talbert had talked to me about. I was afraid that if I were to start talking to him about me and my feelings towards him, it would end in another fight. I didn't want to fight with him at the moment.

He blinked at me, stunned that I was ignoring his remark about wanting me in his life. "What?"

"The men are worried about you. They told me that you've been moping about and it's making them uncomfortable," I stated.

"I was fuming about us, to tell the truth. I've had some time to think it over and I realized a little too late that I was wrong and I was too harsh on you in Haguenau. For that, I'm sorry. Forgive me?" he said truthfully.

I nodded. "It's in the past. Leave it there, Web. Let's just move forward, okay?"

"So, friends?" he asked.

I smiled. "Friends."

"Friends..." he muttered. I could hear the sadness laced in his voice. It broke my heart a little. He nodded and turned to leave.

"David?" I asked.

He turned his head to look over his shoulder at me.

"Are we going to be okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. We're fine," he said softly as he finally walked out of the station. I didn't believe him.

That night, I sat inside my housing by the fire, writing in my notebook to Darla. A knock was heard on my door and I glanced at the clock on the wall. 0032.

I furrowed my brow as I approached the door. I could make out a single form on the outside of the glass. When I opened the door, I was face to face with Nixon. I blinked at him. "Sir?"

He smiled at me. "Emmeline. Do you have a minute?"

I nodded as I extended my arm, allowing him access into the house. "What's going on?"

He shook his head. "Nothing to worry about...yet, anyways."

"Yet?" I asked, tilting my head.

"I've been tasked to lead a jump tomorrow," he started. After taking a swig from a nearly empty bottle of liquor, he continued, "It's supposed to be routine."

I eyed the bottle before looking at his reddened face. "So, what's the problem? Nervous about the jump?"

"Nervous about the jump? No. Not at all," he replied, taking another swig from his bottle.

I waited for his answer.

"How's Darla?" he asked abruptly.

"She's fine..." I wondered where he was going with these seemingly random topics.

"Do you...do you think you could write a letter to her, from me?" he asked suddenly.

I blinked at the question. "Uh, I can do that for you, sure. What do you want me to say?"

He slumped down into a nearby chair. "What would you tell a person you love if you thought you'd die tomorrow?"

"Are you dying tomorrow?" I asked, cautiously sitting across from him.

"I have a bad feeling about this 'routine' jump tomorrow. If I don't make it back, I want her to know how I feel about her," he stated. He brought the bottle to his lips, but stopped. "I just don't know how to tell her."

I thought for a moment before asking, "What would you tell your wife?"

He smirked. "My wife. My wife is behaving strangely. I doubt our marriage will survive."

"Why do you say that? Did she say something to you?" I questioned.

He took a long chug from his bottle. "Her letters are less frequent nowadays. She's stopped writing sentimental things like how she misses me and loves me and can't wait to see me again...instead, they seem more like business letters. What does that tell you?"

I watched as he emptied his bottle and stared at it. I replied, "I'm sorry."

He chuckled. "Had to happen sometime, you know? Maybe I'll be lucky and everything will be over tomorrow and we can all go home."

"Maybe," I repeated. I wasn't convinced, and I was greatly worried for this man.

"So, this letter," he started.

"I'll write it up and bring it to you tomorrow," I replied.

He nodded as he slowly stood up. "If I don't make it back from tomorrow's jump, just scribble my name in there and send it off. I don't care."

I swallowed nervously as he showed himself out. I peeked through the curtains to see him walking through the rain. I wondered if he would be okay.

I grabbed my jacket and headed outside into the pouring rain. I headed towards the officers' housing. As I neared the end of the lane to the large building, I opened the door. I could hear men laughing in the other room and headed into the room.

When I pushed to door open, I could see Lipton, Speirs and Welsh playing cards, as they did during their free time. Their eyes locked onto me.

"Emmeline! You look terrible!" Welsh joked. A huge smile brushed across his face.

Lipton and Speirs glanced at each other before turning back to me. Speirs stood up and approached me. He motioned for me to follow him. I awkwardly walked out of the room and followed Speirs into another room.

When he closed the door behind me, he turned to face me. "What's wrong?"

I shivered from being cold and wet from the rain. "I'm worried about Nixon."

Speirs sighed heavily as he brushed passed me, grabbing a towel. He turned back to me and wrapped me inside the warm towel. "Worried about him, how?"

"Have you seen him lately? He just came to see me...talking about how he might be dying tomorrow and wanting me to send Darla a letter-"

"He's under a lot of stress, that's all. Why did you walk through the storm to tell me this?" he asked, brushing my wet hair from my face.

"I'm worried about him. He was drunk...worse than I've seen him yet. I just want to make sure he's not going to hurt himself," I replied honestly.

Speirs nodded. "I'll look into it."

"That's all I ask," I whispered.

Speirs stood in front of me, still holding onto the towel as I was wrapped inside of it. He studied my face before he leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. It was a simple kiss, but when he pulled away, he looked into my eyes again. It wasn't long before he tried again, but this kiss lasted longer than the first one. It was as if he was telling me that he missed me, that everything would be okay. Standing there, wrapped in his arms, felt like home to me...there wasn't a safer place for me to be.

I pulled away from him. "I better get going. I have a letter to write for Nixon."

Speirs and I stood a foot from one another, neither of us wanting the other to leave, but I finally forced myself to turn away from him and walk out of the house, back into the rain. I was no longer certain of my actions. I wondered if I had gone to see Speirs rather than confess my worries for Nixon.


	82. Lost in Time

Morning had arrived too soon. Groggily, I forced myself to get out of bed. When I slowly got myself together and headed outside, I was blinded by the bright sun. I groaned. Today was going to be long.

I headed for the med station as I knew that I would need to look over the men who went with Nixon on his jump. Along the way, I saw Speirs exit a house carrying two silver serving trays with more silver stacked on them. I shook my head at his ability to find valuable items...and I knew that find was a loose word for the term.

Entering into the med station, I saw Roe clearing a miserable Nixon, who brushed past me without saying a word. I watched him storm out, climb into a Jeep and about run over Speirs.

Glancing over to make sure that Speirs was all right, our eyes locked. I could see the concern in his eyes over Nixon.

I turned back to Roe. "Did I sleep in or something?"

"No, they came back early," Roe replied.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Their plane was hit. Only three survived," he stated.

"What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "How's he holding up?"

Roe shrugged. "You saw how he was. He's been like that since his return."

I swallowed, suddenly worried for the man. "What else?"

"I've heard some rumors about us moving out again. Might as well get things organized," he stated.

I nodded and set to work, but was distracted by the latest information.

We were so close to the end of this war, or so it seemed, yet we were losing men still. It didn't seem right or fair. We should be home with our families instead.

That afternoon, we were ordered to gather our things and assemble. We would be heading towards Hausach. We would be invading Hitler's mountain that he and his men were holed up in, hoping to start what would be considered 'a hero war'. The men were in higher spirits just thinking about the chance to break down Hitler's door and take a shot at him. Everyone believed that the war would be over if someone could get close enough to that man.

As we waited by the trucks for transport, Nixon shouted loudly for everyone to hear, "She's taking everything! She's taking the kid, the house, the dog! It's not even her dog! It's my dog- she's taking my dog!"

Everyone stopped moving, stopped breathing. We just stared at the man before us, clearly in turmoil. When Speirs shot the men around a glance, they immediately moved on, but I stood my ground. I recalled the conversation that I had with Nixon the night before. He had confessed that his wife seemed distant and distracted in her letters. Turned out that he was right and she was leaving him.

The world around us hadn't stopped moving on, even if we had. No matter how long we would be stuck forever fighting a war that was close to being over, the world we once knew had continued on without us. Spouses were falling out of love and in love with other people. Friends we had back home had forgotten about us. News of the war effort seemed like a thing of the past for many. To see the effects it had on the men around me, made this even harder to swallow.

It didn't impact me as much as I didn't have anyone back home waiting for me. I didn't have anyone to think of me, worry if I died. I just was. If the world had moved on without me, it wasn't like I wasn't already forgotten before this war had started. But for people like Nixon, who had a wife and family, it was harder to swallow and bear. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like to hear those painful words of divorce. The whole world came crashing down around him, and he was powerless to stop it, to try and fix it. The world had moved on without him.

I often wondered if people back home thought of those fighting for their country as fading memories of people they once knew. We were scattering in the wind like maple leaves in November. It wouldn't be much longer before we were completely forgotten, lost in time. We had each other, and for the present, that was enough. I worried about the future when war wasn't keeping us together.

As we headed into our fifth country, we were left to remember the places and people we met along the way. The men loved Britain and the English that proved their allegiances. There were a lot of men who hated the French for their attitudes, lazy and sullen outlooks, but they loved the country. Every man had a special bond with the people in Belgium as they had done everything humanly possible for us while we were in Bastogne, and they felt the Dutch were brave, respectful, and resourceful.

The only thing left to question as we headed deeper into German territory was to see if the radios were telling the truth. Were all Germans, Nazis? Were they as bad as they were being played out to be? We wouldn't know until we got there.

Once we arrived to our destination, Winters had immediately sent out patrols. Speirs ordered the men into groups and sent them on their way. He approached me, once he was finished providing the men with orders, and pulled me off to the side.

"Don't stray too far from our men," he ordered in a strict hushed tone.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Speirs eyed a couple of Germans who were glaring at us. "I'm not sure, but I don't want to take any risks."

"I understand," I replied.

He turned and looked around. Finally, he shouted, "Private Webster!"

I was stunned that he was calling for Webster, out of everyone available.

Webster walked up to us. "Sir?"

"Keep an eye on Miss Banks," Speirs ordered.

"Yes sir," Webster replied, just as surprised as I was.

With that out of the way, Speirs walked away from us.

Webster said, "That was weird."

"Tell me about it," I replied. We exchanged glances but said nothing more on the matter.

With the patrols still scouring the areas around the town, Webster and I headed down the path along the train tracks.

"You know, I came into this country wanting to hate the Germans, but I haven't been able to," Webster stated.

"Why is that, do you think?" I asked as I carefully stepped on the tracks.

Webster shrugged. "They're clean, orderly. Did you see the village that had been attacked earlier? They were cleaning it up and trying to rebuild. The French didn't do that. They just left it there."

"Maybe the French thought it was a waste of time and energy to clean up if they were to get attacked again," I suggested.

"Maybe," Webster repeated with a shrug. I could tell he wasn't convinced.

After a moment of silence, I asked, "How long do you think we've been walking?" I asked, peering about the area.

"Few miles. Should we turn back?" he asked.

I stood there for a moment, listening.

"Em?" Web started. "Hey, you okay?"

"Listen," I whispered.

When there was no sound, Webster said, "It's quiet."

"Exactly. There's no birds, no bugs...nothing," I replied.

"So?" he asked, not understanding the point.

I licked my lips and asked, "Did you know that Darla's great grandfather served in the Civil War?"

Webster smirked. "No, but what does that have to do with-"

"One of the things that Darla told me about that gave me chills, was how she visited one of the sites of a POW camp. She said that it was creepy being there...so quiet. Birds, bugs, any animal didn't want to be there, like they could smell the death," I stated as I started to walk forward.

Webster started to follow me. "Okay, but I fail to understand the point in all of this."

"Everything she described to me, feels like this... There's no animals, no sounds of them...there's literally a void of life here..." I whispered, taking faster steps.

Webster didn't speak but followed me. When we stepped out of the tree line surrounding the tracks, we stumbled upon a field with massive wired gates and towers. It looked like a prison of some sort.

Cautiously, I stepped closer to it. Webster grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?"

"Taking a closer look," I replied.

"What for? We should head back and report this to Winters and the others," he stated.

"Then go. I won't stop you, but I need to know what this is," I replied.

Sighing, he released me and followed me up to the gates. They were locked up tight, with no easy way in or out of the place.

"What is this for?" I asked.

It was at this moment that I saw people walking out of tiny huts. Women and children who barely stood on their feet. They barely looked human anymore.

As their neared us, their skin was grayed and yellow, black and purple bruises marred their skin, scabs covered sections of their arms and legs, even their faces. Hair had started falling out, teeth were missing. They were malnourished and hadn't been allowed to bathe for who knows how long.

I couldn't keep from looking at them. I whispered, "Go get the others."

Webster asked, "What about you?"

"I'll be fine here..." I replied.

"Em-" he started.

"Go!" I ordered. "Go! I'll be fine."

Webster didn't like the order, but ran off to get the others as quickly as he could, leaving me alone with the living dead.

I removed my helmet, allowing my hair to fall to my shoulders. I dropped it onto the ground and sunk to my knees. "What happened to you? Why are you in there? What did you do to deserve this?"

As soon as the women and children saw my hair and realized that I was a woman, they started to cry, reaching out to me through the wires. I started to cry with them, wishing I could reach out to them and hold them as they so desperately needed, but I couldn't reach them through the gap.

In all my years living at that wayward home, seeing death every day, I had never in my life seen such a thing like this, and I knew it would haunt me forever. This was pure evil at it's fullest and I suddenly felt hatred for the Germans. The radios and newspapers were right. They were as bad as they made them out to be, if not worse. At least, that was what I thought at the time, but that was before I knew that Easy Company had found another camp a few miles away that housed the men.

Webster found the way back to me and the camp of women and children. He brought with him a platoon from D Company. Speirs was also among them.

When they approached me, the women and children inside started to withdraw. They feared the men. I stood up and whirled around, holding my hands out to them. "Stop! Stop! Don't come any closer!"

Speirs motioned to the men to stop but he approached me anyways. "What were you thinking, staying here by yourself?"

"Don't be angry with me. I did what I had to do. Besides, what are they going to do to me?" I asked as I motioned with my head to the women inside. I added, "Besides, they don't trust men. They seem to trust me."

Speirs peered over my shoulder to see the women and children fidgeting nervously at the sight of so many soldiers. "What do you suggest?"

I was taken by surprise with his asking me for directions. I licked my lips. "Water, food? Another medic, maybe?"

He nodded and waved over another man. "Bring water, food and the medic from Fox."

"Yes sir," the man said as he took off with another man to fulfill the order.

I turned and looked at Webster. "I need you to translate."

He nodded and stepped forward. We approached the gates and got as close as we could to the women and children.

"Ask them what this place is," I started.

Webster asked them and one woman stepped forward to answer his question. After her long reply, she started to cry. Webster's eyes frosted over with tears as he translated her answer. "It's a camp for women and children. They were put there by the Germans. The men were taken elsewhere. She doesn't know if her husband lives."

The woman continued talking. The other women started to wail with her words.

"The Germans experimented on them. Many didn't survive. Many were raped and killed for entertainment. The children were no exception," Webster said, struggling to get the words out.

"What kind of experiments?" I pondered out loud.

Webster didn't realize that I wasn't wanting details, but he asked anyways. The woman bawled as she explained what happened to them.

"Some women were pregnant when they were placed inside this camp, but they are not anymore. They did cruel things to them, things no human should experience," he whispered.

"I don't need to hear anymore," I muttered as I turned from them quickly. I fell to my knees and threw up. I couldn't contain it. After coughing a few times once I was finished getting sick, I felt strong hands helping me to my feet. Once I was on my feet, I saw that Speirs was holding out his canteen for me. I took it and washed the taste from my mouth, but I swallowed the soiled water. I didn't want to disrespect the women and children who probably hadn't had fresh water since they were imprisoned there.

I handed it back to him and walked back to Webster. "Sorry."

Just before I was about to tell Webster to tell the women that we were going to get them food and water, we heard Speirs shout at us, "Would you two join me over here a moment?"

Exchanging glances, we walked over to him. He explained, "I've just heard word from Colonel Sink. We're not to give these people food or water."

"What?" I asked, completely disgusted by the order.

Speirs explained, "Easy Company found another camp not far from here. The men there are just as bad as these women from what I've been told. They need to have their food and water intake monitored so that they don't eat themselves to death. Regimental Surgeon will be taking over."

"What do we tell them?" Webster asked.

Speirs sighed. "Tell them the truth, that we're going to help them. Explain that we will be leaving, but a few will stay behind to make sure they aren't alone anymore."

I felt a few tears fall down my face. I couldn't do it. It broke my heart having to think about the possibility that these women and children would think we were abandoning them.

Webster and I turned to face the camp. I stepped on shaky legs towards the compound. When we reached the gate, I collapsed to my knees. I couldn't control my sobbing.

The women inside sat down before me, sharing my tears. It was then that Webster started to tell them the new plans. More women started to cry. They were afraid and I couldn't blame them.

I placed my face in my hands. I was at a loss as to what to do. I felt like I failed them. Webster placed a hand on my shoulder before he walked away from.

After a few moments of crying there by myself, I felt someone reach down to help me to my feet. It was Speirs.

"The best way to help them is to be strong for them right now," he said.

I felt him pulling me away from the camp, away from the crying women and children, and away from the scene that would haunt my dreams for years to come.

Every single one of us had witnessed the reason we were here. This was the reason this war was so important. We were putting an end to a madman who decided that experimenting on innocent people was necessary. It was something each of us shared, and without a doubt, it made all of us more motivated to get to Hitler's hideout in the mountain to end his life as he had done for thousands of people.

It wasn't until later that evening that we would learn that the Russians had liberated a camp that was worse than the ones we found. The ones the Russians found had gas chambers, used for executions and cremations. It sickened me to learn of this information, but what was worse, more and more reports were coming into Regiment about these camps being found all over the country.

That night, I found myself sitting in the corner of the living room, knees clutched to my chest as I sobbed. The moment we had returned to town, that was the place that I collapsed.

Several knocks were heard on my door over the course of a few hours, but I never got up to answer the door. I didn't want the men to see me like this. Darla's words had imprinted on me that I needed to be the strong one in front of them, so that they could be free to cry at their experiences, but this was too much for me to keep in.

I heard the door to my housing open and shut shortly after. Footsteps shuffled within the dark room, before they started to approach me. They stopped and the man knelt in front of me. "Emmeline?"

The familiar husky voice comforted me. I lifted my head to see Speirs looking at me, clearly concerned for me. I pushed myself from my spot in the corner and leapt into his arms.

He was taken off guard by my actions, and we slightly tumbled to the floor. With both of us sitting on the floor, he cradled me. I sobbed into his chest as he held me, comforting me. He didn't speak another word to me. He stayed the whole night, allowing me to cry over the images that we had witnessed together.


	83. So Help Me God

When morning arrived, I woke to find myself still wrapped in Speirs's arms. He was still asleep and looked peaceful. I wondered how he was able to be so at peace with everything that had happened. For a moment, I envied him.

It wasn't long after I had woken that he stirred. His eyes opened and met mine. He smiled at me. "Morning."

"Morning," I replied softly.

"Are you doing any better?" he asked as he started to sit up.

I sat up and stretched. "I don't think I'll ever be okay."

He nodded. "I know. I understand."

I bit my lip as I thought about it again.

He placed one of his warm hands on my cheek and rubbed his thumb over my lips. "Bad habits die hard."

I chuckled. Before I was able to apologize for the habit, he leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on my lips. When he pulled away, he said, "We better get moving."

I nodded and stood up with his help. Once on my feet, he held me in front of him, staring into my eyes. He whispered, "You're my mystery, Emmeline."

"What does that mean?" I asked. This wasn't the first time that he had said this to me and I wondered what he meant by it.

He smiled. "I think there is more to you than you like to show people and you're slowly letting me in to see it...my mystery that I get to solve. I'm looking forward to that day."

This was a side of Speirs that I rarely saw. I replied, "You're a mystery too, you know. Very guarded but your walls are starting to crumble."

He smirked and placed another small kiss on my lips.

A knock landed on the door. Sighing, I pulled away from him and headed to the door. Once it was open, I saw a couple of Privates standing there. "Yes?"

"Is Captain Speirs here?" one of them asked.

Speirs was suddenly standing next to me. "What is it, Private?"

"Sir, Major Winters wanted me to inform you that Hitler's dead. He'd like to speak with you about what's to come," the man replied.

"Very good, thank you," Speirs said, saluting the men as they left.

I turned to Speirs. "What does this mean now? Is the war over?"

He shook his head. "Just because he's dead doesn't mean that the war is over. I'll need to head over and talk with Winters to see what our new orders are."

I nodded as I watched him head out towards HQ.

Our new orders would be to head into the heart of Hitler's stay. Berchtesgaden was the last known place that Hitler and his closest officers were. It was also home of his famed Eagle's Nest. The men were excited to move onwards, hoping to see this infamous place and hopefully a glimpse of Hitler himself. Rumors had started to circulate that it wasn't Hitler who was shot, but a stand-in. Whatever the truth was, we were to head inside and find out.

As we drove towards our destination, we watched as the enemy troopers were walking the opposite direction on the other side of the road. Each side would eye the other, hoping that they could just move on and go home. Everyone wanted to see this war come to an end and go home to their families. It was almost comforting to know that it wasn't just us who felt this way.

Entering Berchtesgaden was like a fairy tale. The snow capped mountains, dark green woods, tinkling icy creeks, gingerbread houses and the colorful dresses of the natives, not to mention the large amount of food, liquor, and accommodations that this place had was something to behold. It made everyone eager to stay and make themselves at home.

Once the trucks had stopped, Battalion had set up their HQ in the Berchtesgaden Hof. Every man had found himself a place to stay until we were ordered to leave. Finding a place to crash for the remainder of our time in this city wasn't hard to do, as most Germans had fled. They didn't want to be accused of being Nazis. The ones who stayed denied being affiliated with the Nazis, but no one believed them.

Looting had become a priority for most of the men. Anything that could be moved was taken. Even though I could have taken numerous things, it just didn't seem right to me. Regardless of the rights or wrongs of the matter, to me, it felt like we were guests and these things belonged to people who would be back. Perhaps I was a fool for thinking that way.

As Winters provided orders to the men, I wrote to Darla. With everything that had happened lately, I hadn't been able to bring myself to write to her about Nixon and his desire to tell her how he felt, about the camps we found and the people that were inside. I was unable to bring myself to tell her until now. It was a long letter, one that was possibly the longest I had ever written to her over the course of the war, but she deserved to hear from me.

When I was finished, I handed the letter off to Sink's driver, who had accepted the task in making sure it got to the right person.

After I handed off my letter, I heard a few cheers coming from the men. Upon turning around to see what they were cheering about, I spied Talbert shooting rounds at a Mercedes windshield. None of the bullets penetrated the glass. Everyone stood around to see what Talbert would do next. He changed weapons and loaded armor piercing rounds into the chamber. He fired off a few rounds into the glass, and they went clean through. More cheers erupted from the men watching nearby.

Speirs had appeared and ordered the men to turn over the cars to the brass at Regiment. The men were upset over having to relinquish control over to some head honcho in Regiment, so they continued their experiments before cleaning it up and leaving them for the man who demanded the cars. The cars had been shot at, blowing all the glass out of the frames. One of the cars had been pushed over a cliff side to see if it would survive a crash of that extreme. Talbert had taken the water out of the radiator and drove it up the mountain towards the Eagle's Nest, but burned out the engine.

The brass would have destroyed cars, and the enlisted men would end up with motorcycles and other vehicles the brass deemed below him. It was amusing to say the least to watch as the man would arrive to things he was not expecting.

When the Jeep arrived with the brass and a couple of other officers, my heart stopped. Sitting in the backseat of the Jeep was Robert Lerner.

I felt sick to my stomach. I quickly turned away and tried to find a place to hide. It was going to be tough to steer clear of him when he knew that I was there somewhere. I wondered what his reasons were for coming to find me now.

I rounded the corner of one of the houses. A hand grabbed my mouth and jerked me back into the house. I let out a startled shriek until I heard the familiar voice whisper into my hear, "It's me."

I relaxed and he released me. I turned to face him. "Don't do that."

He gave me an apologetic look, but said nothing about that. Instead, he stated what I had already found out, "Lerner's here."

"I know. I just saw him arrive," I admitted.

"We've got to keep you out of his sights," he said.

"How do we do that? I mean, all he has to do is ask one of the men where I am," I pointed out.

Speirs thought for a minute before saying, "I'll think of something. I won't let him near you."

"He'll find me eventually...and he'll do whatever he can to get to me," I whispered.

Speirs furrowed his brow at my words.

I added, "I don't want him hurting those close to me...I don't want him hurting you."

"He won't get the chance," Speirs stated confidently.

I swallowed. "How can you be so sure?"

"He doesn't know me," he replied.

I bit my lip. I was worried. I didn't know what to do and I hated knowing that Robert was just outside.

Speirs placed his hand on my cheek. "You've got to stop chewing your lip. It will give you away."

I closed my eyes. "I'm terrified."

I felt a warm kiss on my lips before he pulled me into a strong and safe embrace. "Trust me now, Emmeline. I'll take care of it."

He pulled away from me and said, "We're heading up to the Eagle's Nest. Tuck your hair into your helmet and let's go."

I did as he instructed me to, but I was still incredibly nervous that something terrible would happen. I feared for Speirs's life and the lives of the men around me. Robert Lerner was not the a man to be taken lightly.


	84. The House on the Hill

When we stepped back outside to head to the trucks, I noticed that Lerner wasn't to be found. It wasn't until we passed by the damaged cars that I heard his voice coming from underneath. He was busy trying to fix the cars for the brass. I felt a little relieved that I would be able to get out of the area without being seen by him.

I jumped into the back of the truck, followed by a bunch of the other men in the Company. As soon as we were crammed into the back and we started to head out, I relaxed a little.

Webster looked at me. "Why'd you hide your hair?"

"I wanted to get some sun on my neck," I lied. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

He must have believed me, because he didn't say another word on the matter.

Along the ride up the mountain, the men were singing and cheering about being the first into the Eagle's Nest. It felt as though they were being rewarded for all the things they had to face during this entire war.

When we arrived to the top of the mountain, we could see why Hitler loved this place. The views of the mountain range were spectacular. It felt like a castle, fit for a king, or in this case, a madman.

Everyone piled out of the trucks. Organized into groups, the men headed out to clear the area. Speirs motioned to me to follow his group, so I stayed close to him.

We entered the main room of the Eagle's Nest. Panoramic windows circled the room. It was magnificent to see the mountains from every angle of the room.

I was so immersed in the scenery outside that I wasn't paying attention to where I was stepping. I slipped on something and went crashing to the floor.

The men nearby, including Speirs, bent down to help me to my feet. What I tripped over was the man himself, Hitler. He had shot himself in the head and his officers had left him there.

Speirs was still holding onto me tightly. He ordered the men near us, "Check the rest of the place. Make sure we are the only living ones here."

"Right away, sir." The men separated to check the rest of the 'castle'.

"Are you all right?" Speirs asked me.

I couldn't take my eyes off the dead man that laid on the floor before us. His beady eyes were still open, the blood had pooled around his head and he looked like his statues, even in death. He was still evil looking. It spooked me.

I nodded that I heard him.

He tugged me along with him as we checked out the rest of the main area. When a loud pop was heard behind us, Speirs whirled around with his sidearm out. It wasn't until we saw Malarkey with a freshly corked bottle of champagne that we realized that we were safe.

Malarkey raised the bottle and took a swig. "Here's to him."

"Find anything else?" Speirs asked, placing his sidearm back in its holster.

"We found his old lady. Shot in the head as well," Malarkey replied.

I shook my head at the thought of them killing each other, once they realized their cause was lost.

It wasn't long before everyone was getting drunk off the numerous bottles of liquor that sat inside the Eagle's Nest. Even Speirs had participated in getting drunk. It surprised me to see him relaxing as much as he was with the men. He usually kept his distance from them, but here, he was joining in with them.

Finally someone asked him, "So, all those rumors of you...are they true?"

Speirs narrowed his eyes at the Private asking. "Is that how you talk to a superior officer?"

"Sorry sir. But are they true? Sir?" the man tried to ask again.

Speirs just smirked and took a swig from the bottle before passing it off to Welsh.

Welsh replied, "If you want to live to see the end of the war, I wouldn't ask him that kind of question. He might shoot you like he did his drunken Sergeant for refusing to go on patrol." Welsh chuckled as he took a long chug from the bottle.

I furrowed my brow. If they were referring to Sergeant Jefferson, Speirs never shot him. He threatened, sure, but he never shot the man. I began to wonder if all of the rumors were blown out of proportion, just like this one had been.

Winters entered the balcony with Lipton. The enlisted men and I took our leave so the officers could talk about their new orders.

"I can't believe that he shot his own Sergeant! That's fucked up!" one of the Privates stated.

"Hey, I know someone who was there," Malarkey stated as they continued out of the Eagle's Nest.

I shook my head. No one was there except Speirs, Jefferson and myself. I suddenly remembered when I had asked Speirs if the rumors were true, how upset he had gotten. He seemed almost hurt that I believed everything that I had heard. Maybe that moment during D-Day was also blown out of proportion. Maybe he hadn't shot all of those prisoners like people said he did.

I sat down on the steps outside the Eagle's Nest while the rest of the men headed down the mountain side.

A few moments had passed when Winters and Nixon stepped outside. They smiled at me as they continued on their way to another location. I stayed on the steps, wondering what I should do. If I headed into town, Robert was most likely looking for me. I knew I couldn't stay in the Eagle's Nest forever, as eventually, Regiment would come to take over the place.

I looked up to see Mercier and two other men laughing as they carried a bundle of clothes. I furrowed my brow at them as they approached the Nest. I asked, "What are you guys up to?"

Mercier replied, "We found this German officer uniform. I'm going to get dressed in it and they are going to present me to Captain Speirs as a joke."

I smirked. "Do you think he'll find it funny?"

"We'll see, but I've heard that he's piss drunk and wouldn't know the difference," one of the men stated.

I shook my head in humored disbelief. "Good luck with that."

The three of them walked off to get ready for their joke. I stood up and headed back inside to find Speirs.

Once I was inside, I noticed that everyone had left. It was eerie inside the Nest when no one else was there. I could feel the hair on my arms start to stand on attention. There was something not right about the building and I couldn't place my finger on it.

I continued to search for Speirs, but didn't see any signs of him. I rounded the corner and felt hands grab my waist, pushing me into the wall.

When I looked into the eyes of my attacker, I saw the smirking Speirs staring down at me. I sighed. "I thought I told you not to do that."

He chuckled. "I guess I forgot about that."

He leaned in and kissed me. I could taste the flavors of whisky and champagne on his mouth. He deepened the kiss, pushing his body harder into mine, keeping me locked in place. This kiss was different from all of his others. This one was more aggressive, more demanding, and filled with lust rather than his previous ones which were gentle and passion filled.

He finally broke the lip lock when he heard his name being shouted in the main room. He looked down at me for a moment before sighing with frustration.

I whispered, "It's probably Mercier dressed as a German officer."

Speirs looked at me confused, but to his credit, he just whispered, "Wait here."

He walked around the corner and asked, "What's going on here, Private?"

The man spoke, "Sir, we've captured this German officer. What should we do with him?" I could hear the amused tone in the man's voice as he tried to keep it together so that he wouldn't blow the joke.

Speirs didn't miss a beat. "Take him out and shoot him."

Mercier's voice spoke, clearly afraid, "Sir! It's me, it's Mercier, sir!"

Speirs ordered, "Mercier, get out of that silly uniform."

"Yes sir," the man replied, suddenly calmer now that he wasn't being shot.

Once the men left, Speirs found me again. He chuckled. "You should have seen the looks on their faces."

I chuckled. "I feel bad that I ruined the joke for them."

He shook his head. "Don't be. I would have said that regardless."

I studied his face before saying, "I don't think you would have."

"What does that mean?" he challenged.

I replied, "I don't believe that you did all those things they said about you."

"What things, Miss Banks?" he asked with an amused smile.

I stated, "I know you didn't shoot your own Sergeant for refusing to go on patrol, because I was there. I highly doubt you shot all of those prisoners, though I think you were there when it happened. The men, including Winters, saw you take an armed battery out by yourself, so I guess that one's true."

Speirs stopped me by kissing me again. "Been thinking about that a lot, have you?"

I smirked. "I didn't want to believe those rumors, but you never denied them."

"And I will continue to let them believe what they choose to believe. I'll never tell them the truth...and you shouldn't either," he said.

I held up my hand. "Scout's honor. Not a word from me."

Before he could kiss me again, I asked, "What are we going to do about Lerner?"

Speirs sighed, stepping away from me. "I kind of forgot he was here to be honest. With everything that's been happening lately, it sort of slipped my mind. I need to speak with Sink."

"Sink? Why?" I asked, not sure if this was part of his master plan or not.

Speirs looked at me and replied, "For this to work, it's best if you don't know the plan."

"But-" I started.

He cut me off. "Just trust me with this. I know just what to do."

With that said, he left me alone in the creepy Nest.

That evening, I finally walked back into town. I was nervous and kept glancing over my shoulder and carefully examining my surroundings. I could feel eyes on me, but couldn't pinpoint where they were coming from. I knew I was being watched by Lerner.

I was afraid to head to my housing. I didn't want him to know where I was staying because he would show up there. I wasn't sure that I would survive a confrontation with him.

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts and trying to figure out the best way to lose that feeling of being watched that I bumped into Webster. He smiled at me, but it quickly went away when he saw my face. "Hey Em, you okay?"

I nodded aimlessly. "Yeah. Fine."

"You sure? You seem a little distraught," he pointed out.

It took a lot of willpower to keep from biting my lip. "I'm fine. Just going for a walk, that's all. Join me?"

He smiled wider and walked with me until I felt more at ease. I wondered where Speirs was.

Webster said, "There's your star."

I glanced up into the night sky and saw Polaris shining brightly above us. I chuckled. "I used to look at that star every night after our jump on D-Day. Hard to believe that we survived all the way up to V-E Day."

"It is a miracle, but I think it was our destiny," he stated.

Webster always had a way with using certain words to make situations seem more like a book than life. It was no wonder why he wanted to write books.

I asked, "Mind walking me to my housing?"

Webster nodded. "Sure thing."

We took the long way around. I don't think Webster minded, as he didn't argue or tell me that we were taking the indirect way there. Maybe he just enjoyed being around a friend. I was happy that he was still a friend for me, even though we shared a few rough patches.

When we arrived to my housing, I thanked him and he went on his way. I kept the lights out and made sure that the doors and windows were locked. I found a dark corner and sat there all night. I didn't sleep a wink as I was waiting for Lerner to show up.


	85. Games You Play

The next morning had finally arrived. I was exhausted as I didn't sleep at all. Every sound that I heard, whether from the house settling or the wind outside, I jumped at. If Robert Lerner was good at anything, it was keeping his victims on edge. He knew how to test their nerves to the limit before there was nothing left. He was trying to break me and from what I could tell, I was reverting back into the meek mouse as Speirs once called me.

I stood up and headed for the door. Once it was open, a young man blinked at me in surprise, just as he was about to knock on my door.

"Can I help you?" I asked him.

"Nurse Banks?" he asked.

I nodded and he gave me a letter. I thanked him and he walked away. Looking down at the envelope, I saw that it was Darla's handwriting.

I didn't hesitate. I quickly tore the envelope open to see what she had to say.

Dearest Emmeline,

My heart weeps for the cruel things you have witnessed. I cannot even fathom what you've gone through. Just reading your description of the horrible things you found at that camp...I can't even imagine. I don't know what else to say. Are you doing all right since?

I've heard from Lewis. It was shortly before receiving your letter than he took it upon himself to write to me. He told me everything...his feelings for me, his divorce, everything. I feel for him and what he is going through, but I am a terrible person. I have yet to reply to his letter. There's a part of me that wants to, but another part that doesn't. I haven't told you this before because you were so busy with everything going on over there, but I can't contain it any longer and I need to tell someone before I go out of my mind!

I've met someone. His name is Rory Lavers. He is an officer for the British military. He was wounded a few weeks back and was reassigned to stay here. We've seen each other practically every day. Oh, Emmeline, you'd really like him. There's so much that I want to tell you about him, but I don't want to waste your time as I know how precious it is these days. When you return to me, I'll introduce the two of you.

I feel badly for Lewis though. He's in love with me and I love him, but I love someone else more. I guess this is something you're familiar with, isn't it? You deal with this every day with Webster and Speirs. Do you have any advice for me?

Have you heard anything more about the Lerners? You haven't mentioned them in a long while. I hope that you are still safe from them? Is Speirs keeping an eye out for you?

I wish you were here with me, Emmeline. I miss you terribly. I miss our walks and long talks with each other. I hope that we can be reunited soon. I pray every day that this war ends and we can go home.

Stay safe. I love you.

Darla

It was a simple and short letter, but it was something that I desperately needed. She was doing well, in fact, better than well. She had fallen in love. It was hard not to feel happy for her. I wondered what I would tell her to do in regards to Nixon, but that was something she had to deal with. I could offer her some advice as to how I've dealt with Webster, but what she did with that advice was up to her. I couldn't do it for her.

I placed the letter inside my coat pocket and started to head towards the aide station. As I walked about the village, I was cautiously aware of my surroundings. I was glancing over my shoulders constantly, waiting and expecting Robert to jump out from the shadows to get me.

I stopped outside the aide station when I noticed Winters giving orders to the men. It looked like we were heading out once more. This time, we would be heading into Austria. Leaving Berchtesgaden would be hard to do for the men as this felt like home but orders were orders. I was happy to get away from the men in Battalion and Robert. I wanted to put as much distance between him and me as possible and if that meant moving out of this comfortable place, I'd do it.

When we drove into Austria, the looks on the faces of the Austrians and the German soldiers that we passed by were that of wonder. They looked at us, probably trying to figure out how they lost to people like us. The contrast between them and us was pretty obvious. We were still wearing our worn out, dirty uniforms, while theirs were clean and freshly pressed. They were showered, shaven, and all around organized, whereas we looked like we had been living on the streets for years.

Our orders here in Zell Am See was to maintain order. The Germans would be giving their official surrender to Winters at HQ and the men would maintain checkpoints at the crossings and run routine patrols.

When Winters had ordered the German Officer to tell his men to bring all of their weapons to a deposit location, it was amazing to watch as mounds of weapons began to form. There was a fantastic display of all kinds of weapons, even though Winters meant military grade weapons, the Colonel who surrendered to him took his words literally and made all of his soldiers hand over their weapons. The weapons in the pile ranged from hunting rifles, antique rifles, and knives. Even though Winters gave the German officers and military police permission to carry their side arms, I couldn't help but wonder how demeaning it was to the rest of the German forces to give up their weapons.

As everyone had their orders, I headed over to the building Speirs was using as his office. I stepped into the room and saw that he was talking to 1st Sergeant Lynch. I stopped and waited by the door until they were finished.

"Take Moone, Leibgott, and Sisk with you. Find him and eliminate him," Speirs ordered.

My head snapped up at the order. I couldn't believe I was hearing him order a man to take a group out and kill someone. I thought we were to maintain peace until this war was considered over. Maybe I misunderstood what was going on.

"Yes sir," Lynch said with a salute. He turned and headed out the door, giving me a polite nod as he walked by me.

I approached Speirs. "What was that all about?"

"German officers have fingered a man who was running one of the camps we found. He was responsible for all of the atrocious things that happened. We eliminate him and the war's over," Speirs said, almost with a confidence that made me believe him.

I shifted in my spot. "How do you know he's the one behind all of that?"

"I talked to the officers for hours. Their stories lined up, they fingered the guy. This is something that has to be done, Emmeline. I don't like it either, but I can't get that image of those people in those cages out of my head," he replied.

Truth be told, I couldn't get those images out of my head either. If the man who was fingered was the man behind the terrible things we found, then I didn't have a problem with his death. The way I saw it, he had committed so many acts of evil that taking him out of this world would make it a better place. I felt the same way about the Lerners. I wondered if this feeling and outlook was the result of being involved in this war.

Speirs cleared his throat, bringing me back to the present. He asked, "Have you seen Robert Lerner?"

I shook my head. "No. Not yet."

"He's heading out this way from Berchtesgaden. Says he has business out here," Speirs stated.

"What business?" I asked.

Speirs shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, but I have a feeling it has something to do with you."

I nodded. "I figured as much."

He approached me. "Speaking of you, have you been sleeping?"

I glanced at my feet before replying, "No. Not since Robert made his appearance in Berchtesgaden."

"You're not going to survive without sleep," he started to say.

"I know. I know that, but I can't get over the idea of him coming for me while I'm asleep," I replied honestly.

He whispered, "There's nothing to worry about right now. Go get some sleep. I'll come find you when it's time."

I wasn't sure what he meant by 'when it's time', but I figured it had something to do with Lerner's arrival. I nodded that I heard his request and headed out to follow them. I was exhausted and was beginning to feel sick because of it. Speirs was right. I wouldn't survive if I was this tired and Lerner came for me.

The moment my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.


	86. Desperate Measures

I felt hands gently shaking me awake. I slowly blinked my eyes open, allowing them to adjust to the bright morning light. I rolled over onto my back, meeting the eyes of Speirs.

He smirked. "Welcome back."

"Morning. What time is it?" I asked.

He replied, "It's almost noon."

"Wow. I slept for a couple of hours and I feel so rested," I stated as I sat up to stretch.

Speirs corrected me. "It's Wednesday."

"What?" I asked surprised. "How is that possible?"

"You slept for a full day. This is why you can't go without sleep," he said with a chuckle.

I rubbed my face. "I can't believe that I slept that long...What's happened since I was asleep?"

Speirs sighed. "Well, Lerner is here."

"Great," I muttered as I started to get up from the bed.

"He arrived early this morning, but I haven't been able to track him down since," he explained.

"What do you mean, you haven't been able to track him down? Where is he?" I asked, suddenly on edge.

Speirs shook his head. "I'm looking into it."

"So what do we do?" I asked him. I was looking for some advice, some hint as to what he was planning, but he gave me nothing.

He said, "I'm sorry, but just try to keep your head down."

"That's it? That's all you've got for me?" I asked. His need to protect me seemed like it had faded somehow. This plan of his was certainly faulty in my eyes.

He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Trust me as you have before. I'm taking care of it."

I wanted to believe him, but I was struggling. I nodded, but I wasn't sure if that was enough to convince either one of us.

Life in Zell Am See was something that was nothing short of perfect. The men were having fun, drinking and playing games while fraternizing with the local women. For the men, the war was already over, they were just waiting for permission to go home.

As for me, until the Lerner situation was taken care of, the war wasn't over. I was always looking over my shoulders, still waiting for Robert to find me. The men started to sense my uneasiness, but most never spoke a word.

I sat on the ground by the lake. Looking across the sparkling water, I began to think things over. I wondered what I would do after this war was over. Some men had family waiting for them, some were ready to go home and get married. Everyone seemed to have a plan of action for when they stepped back onto American soil, but I hadn't a clue as to what I would do.

I sighed as I thought about the future. I didn't hear the footsteps come up from behind me.

"Is this where you disappear off to?" a voice asked me.

I jumped slightly before glancing over my shoulder to see Randleman standing there. He smiled down at me. I chuckled at him before replying, "Actually, this is the first time I've gotten around to seeing the lake."

Randleman sat down next to me. "What were you thinking so hard about?"

I looked down at my boots. "The future."

He waited for me to continue.

"I was just thinking that I haven't a clue as to what I'll do when we go home," I admitted.

He asked, "Do you have to have a plan?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It seems like everyone else has one. Everyone but me."

"I don't have a plan," he stated.

"Really?" I asked, glancing up at him.

He nodded. "I'm still waiting for the day that I can go home."

I smirked. "Yeah, me too."

"Have you heard about the Lerner boy?" he asked me suddenly.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "You know about him?"

Randleman nodded. "Hard to miss him. He's barking orders at the men all the time. Liebgott swears the man is related to Sobel."

I knew it was a joke, but I couldn't laugh at it. If Robert was ordering the men around, I wondered what he was asking them. None of them knew who he was and the threat that he posed to me.

"You don't have to worry, Em," Randleman whispered.

I asked, "Why do you say that?"

"No one is going to let him hurt you," he stated.

"Except they have no clue who he is to me. All Robert has to do is ask where I am," I pointed out.

Randleman nodded. "But we won't let you deal with him alone."

I sat there in silence. I wasn't convinced. I think Randleman realized that because he changed the subject.

"Sink is planning on having a raffle for the men. He knows that not all of the original Toccoa men have enough points to make it home on their own," he said.

I sat and listened to him talk about what he had heard from the men about this raffle, but it was hard to be excited about much these days. I just wanted this to be over.

Later that evening, the men had assembled for the raffle. I slouched in the back of the group, trying to stay hidden from Battalion, who decided to join us. Of course, one of those officers was Robert. Robert had a smirk on his face, almost like he had a plan.

When Speirs pulled out the slip of paper, he blinked at the name. I could see a slight change in his facial expression, but as always, just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. He looked up from the paper and announced, "The lucky winner is..."

Everyone was waiting for the news. Some of the replacements were muttering prayers that it was their name.

"Darrell Powers!" Speirs finished.

The men cheered and congratulated the young man. Turned out that he was one of the many original Company men who had the least amount of points.

When the name was called, I had glanced over at Lerner. He looked shocked and angry. I wondered if Speirs had ruined the man's plans. It didn't take long for Robert to storm off somewhere, just as the rest of the officers from Battalion started to head out.

I stayed in the horde of men, congratulating Shifty for the opportunity to go home.

Immediately after Shifty won the raffle, another soldier shouted, "Hey Shifty! I'll give you a thousand bucks to switch places with me!"

Shifty looked like he was seriously considering this trade. Finally, he replied, "I think I'd rather just go home."

I felt relieved that he was choosing home over the money. Shifty looked at me and stated, "I've never won anything in my entire life! It's amazing to know that I get to see home."

I smiled at him and gave him a hug. "You deserve this, more than anyone."

He pulled away, smiling ear to ear. He stated, "I better get my things together and sign off on my paperwork before I miss my ride."

The men started to disperse as Shifty headed to HQ to get his papers.

I stood there and watched him as he walked away. Once he was out of my sights, I turned and headed towards my housing.

That evening, I tried to sleep. Once again, every noise alerted me and I struggled to stay asleep. I sighed and finally got out of bed. I peered outside my window. It was still black outside, with the occasional patrol walking down the lane.

I took a step back from the window, when movement caught my eye. As I hid behind the curtain, I continued to watch the figure.

The person just stood there, looking up at my window. I was unsure if the person had seen me earlier, or if they were just contemplating coming up. I grew uneasy as I thought about the idea that this person was Robert.

The moment the person started to head towards the back door, I quickly ran down the stairs. I wanted to catch the person off guard, especially if it was Lerner.

I heard a knock on the door. It wasn't overly loud, but it was noticeable. I reached the main room and grabbed the fireplace poker. Slowly, I approached the back door. As I opened the door, I quickly readied myself to swing the poker.

Speirs looked at me, then the poker. "Miss Banks?"

I sighed, lowering the poker. "What are you doing here?"

He walked into the house and looked around. "Are you all right?"

I nodded, placing the poker back where it was. "Yeah. You startled me."

"Sorry about that, but I saw you standing at your window, figured that I could talk to you for a moment," he replied.

"Talk to me about what?" I asked, turning around to face him.

He was already standing behind me. When I turned, I turned right into him. He grabbed my upper arms to keep me from falling over. "About the raffle."

"What about the raffle?" I asked quietly, looking into his dark eyes. He was worried about something.

He held my concerned gaze as he explained, "We had the raffle rigged from the start."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Shifty was one of the few men who didn't have enough points to go home. We rigged it so that he could go home," Speirs stated.

I nodded slowly. "Okay, so what's the problem?"

"There was only one piece of paper in that helmet. It was supposed to say Shifty's name, but that wasn't the name on the paper," he said.

I blinked at him. "Whose name was?"

"Yours," he stated.

I was taken aback. "Mine?"

He nodded. "It wasn't anyone's handwriting that we recognized. After seeing your name, I think I know what happened."

"Robert," I said, piecing it together.

Speirs nodded.

I sighed. "He was smiling at the raffle, like he knew something that no one else did. I think maybe he wanted my name called, so that he could finally get me out in the open...finally see me."

Speirs nodded again. "That's what I think. He's starting to get desperate."

I shuddered at the thought. "What do we do?"

"I'm still working on that," he stated as he released me from his hold.

"When are you going to tell me what your plan is?" I asked.

Speirs started to head towards the door. "When this is all over."

"Wait," I said, stopping him before he opened the door.

His hand was on the handle, but he paused, waiting for me to continue.

"Stay. Please." I waited to see what he would do or say.

He glanced over at me. I could see the internal struggle that he had with himself inside his mind, but he finally said, "I can't. I have things to do."

I lowered my head and whispered, "I'm scared."

"I know you are. Just hold on a little longer," he stated. With that said, he opened the door and left.


	87. Not All Accidents Are Accidents

The next morning, I headed into the med station. Roe looked up as I entered and said, "I'm glad to see you. I'm going to need a hand."

"Sure thing. What's going on?" I asked as I walked up to him.

He stated, "We've got an ambulance heading in. There was an accident on the road this morning."

"Who was hurt?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Janovec. They just informed me that he fractured his skull during an accident. He's dead."

"Oh my God..." I was at a loss for words. The war was all but over, yet we were losing men.

"I need to get him in order for Major Winters. Do you mind taking over things here while I'm handling that?" he asked.

I nodded. "Sure."

"Oh, and before I forget, Shifty was in an accident on the way home. He was ejected through the windshield. He's going to live, but he's going to have to go through a lot of surgeries to fully recover," Roe explained.

I sat down on the nearest chair. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Two accidents in such a short amount of time.

Speirs had entered and asked, "Are you ready to go, Doc?"

I glanced over to watch him. Our eyes met and he knew that something was wrong.

Roe headed to the door and Speirs said, "I'll be right there."

The moment Roe left, Speirs asked, "Are you okay?"

"I just heard about Shifty-" I started.

Speirs cut me off. "Yeah. He was fortunate to survive. I talked to the driver of the other vehicle. He was ordered to hit that truck head on."

"Ordered? Who would give such an order..." I drifted off as I realized what Speirs had told me the night before. I placed my head into my hands.

Speirs said, "If that had been you, you might not have survived."

I sniffled, trying to keep my tears from falling as I looked up at him. He was already gone. I felt incredibly guilty. Shifty had been in a truck that was meant for me. I was the one who was supposed to be in that truck the moment it was hit. I was the one who was supposed to have gone through that windshield. Shifty was a good man and he was caught in the crossfire of the battle between the Lerners and me.

The rest of the afternoon, I couldn't concentrate on much of anything. Webster had stopped by to try and talk to me about the accident regarding Janovec, but I wasn't really listening. I think he knew that, but still tried anyways.

That evening, Roe had returned. He sighed as he sat down next to me.

I asked, "Do you know what happened with Janovec?"

Roe began to tell me about the accident. Janovec was off duty when he was being transported back. The truck hit a road block and the door that Janovec was leaning on was faulty and had opened, spilling the man onto the road. Janovec had hit his head on the pavement, fracturing his skull. He died on the way in. Roe had all of the kid's personal things packed up and sent to his parents.

It was truly an accident, one that was unfortunate and unpredictable. There wasn't anything anyone could have done to have prevented that incident. The driver felt terrible for what happened, but everyone continued to tell him that it wasn't his fault. That didn't stop him from feeling guilty.

After Roe finished telling me what Webster tried to tell me earlier, a small group of men entered the med station. The wounded man and one of the men carrying him into the station were wearing German uniforms. The others were dressed in our uniforms.

"He's been shot! We need your help here," the man wearing the German uniform stated.

Roe and I jumped to our feet and got the wounded man onto one of the tables. I looked at the men and asked, "What happened?"

"These idiots were dressed in those stupid uniforms, driving a German staff car and speeding through the checkpoints. O'Keefe warned them about needing to slow down, but they didn't listen when they got to our checkpoint, so we ordered them to stop. They kept going, so we shot at them," the man stated.

I looked at the men and asked, "Why didn't you slow down?"

"I guess we sort of forgot," the unwounded man stated.

"Forgot or too drunk to remember?" I questioned.

The wounded man laughed. "I have no hard feelings for what you did, man. I would have done the same thing if I had been you."

I glanced at Roe and sighed. He shook his head as we started to work on him.

Within moments of starting our work on him, Speirs had burst into the room, startling all of us.

Wide eyed, we stared at him. He looked angry and scared. He looked at Roe and ordered, "I need your help now! Grant's been shot! Let's go!"

My breath stopped. I felt sick to my stomach. I was scared for Grant. He was one of those men that was universally respected. I knew that he was a good man, and even Speirs thought the world of him. I hoped and prayed that it wasn't bad.

Roe looked at me and said, "Take over here."

I nodded and watched as they ran out of the med station.

I blinked back to the present. It felt like we were back on the front lines again. I had to focus on the task at hand before I could worry about Grant. The sooner I finished with the drunk soldier, the sooner I could track them down and help.

"Someone shot Grant?" one of the men asked in shock.

"I can't imagine anyone shooting him," another stated.

"Must have been some fuckin' Kraut," the wounded man declared.

I finally had enough. "Shut up! You guys need to leave. Now. All of you. Get back to your post."

The men stared at me for a moment, surprised that I yelled at them, but they followed my orders and left me alone with the wounded man, who kept quiet after my outburst.

The moment I was able to leave the med station, I started my search for the men.

It didn't take me long to find them. When word of Grant's shooting had worked it's way through the billets, the entire E Company had started a mass search for the man who did this. When they found the man, he was in the process of trying to rape a young native of Zell Am See. The men were completely disgusted with him and had bound him, dragging him back to the barracks.

I spied Speirs leaving the hospital where I learned that Grant was operated on by a German brain surgeon and his life was saved, whereas our own surgeon who was unkempt, unshaven, and all around useless had take one look at Grant and left him for dead.

I ran after Speirs. "Did you find him?"

Speirs didn't look back at me. "They found the asshole."

He barged into the building and I was close on his heels. Once inside, I could hear the men yelling at the man, threatening him, cursing, kicking, and punching the daylights out of him.

Speirs walked up to the man tied to the chair and asked, "Where's the weapon?"

The man choked, "What weapon?"

Speirs took his handgun by the barrel, landing a blow to the man's temple with the butt of his gun. "When you talk to an officer, you say 'Sir'."

Speirs hit him again and then pointed the gun at the man.

The men in the room stepped back, waiting for what they thought would come next. I stood there in shock. I asked, "Are you sure this is the right guy?"

Speirs stood there, still pointing his gun at the man. His hand trembled slightly but he said nothing.

I asked again, softly, "Are you sure this is the guy?"

Before anyone could say a word, Private Hansen, a close friend of Grant's and a man in Grant's platoon, came running into the room, pistol drawn. "You son of a bitch! I've killed better men than you!"

Hansen aimed his pistol at the man who was slumped into the chair. The men around Hansen grabbed at him, trying to keep him from shooting the man. Hansen pulled the trigger, but the gun misfired.

The look on the GI tied to the chair was something to remember. He was terrified and stunned. It wouldn't have surprised any of us if he had wet himself. He started to cry.

A few of the men started to lead Hansen out of the room as the rest of the Company beat the tied up man unconscious. Once he was out, they carried him to the Regimental guardhouse. Word got back to us that the Sergeant there beat him until blood ran once he woke up from his first beating.

Speirs put his pistol back in it's holster, turned around and looked at me. "I need to speak with you."

He grabbed my arm and started to lead me out of the room, when one of the men asked, "Is Grant dead?"

Speirs stopped briefly and said, "He's going to make it. Kraut doc fixed him up."

Once the words left his mouth, he tugged me out the door.

We started to head across the yard towards his office. I asked, "What are you doing?"

He didn't say a word until we entered his office. Once inside, he let me go. "Why did you stop me?"

I looked at me and asked, "Why didn't you shoot him?"

Speirs hung his head in defeat. "I guess there was some doubt that it was the right guy."

"I don't think anyone would have blamed you for shooting him, even if he wasn't the right guy, but I just didn't want that on your conscious if he was the wrong man," I admitted.

Speirs whispered, "I was worried for Grant. That man is the closest thing to a saint that we have...I lost it when I heard that he had been shot in the head by one of our own."

I approached him, wrapping my arms around him. "I know. We all share your feelings."

I could feel him trembling slightly in my arms, as if he was ready to cry, but he never did.

I released him from my hold and asked, "Is he really going to be okay?"

He nodded. "Kraut doc is the best brain surgeon there is. He said Grant was lucky."

Before we could continue our conversation, Sink entered the room. He saw the two of us and said, "I'd like to have a word with you about what happened involving Sergeant Grant."

I nodded and started to step out of the office. Speirs shouted after me, "Wait for me downstairs. I'm not finished with you."

I gave him a courteous nod and headed downstairs to wait. I waited for about an hour before Sink came walking down the stairs and out the door.

Speirs eventually came down and I asked, "How'd it go?"

He replied, "Pretty rough."

"What'd he say?" I asked.

"Told me I should have shot the son of a bitch," Speirs stated. It was remarkable that he didn't, but he had admitted that he had some doubt that they had arrested the right man.

The room had been filled with men who had killed before, all of them wanted to kill the man, and the one who tried was held back by four others. It became obvious that everyone was tired of killing. We just wanted to go home.


	88. Hanging on By a Thread

The next morning as I headed towards the med station, I watched as a small group of Germans was being led into Speirs's office. I furrowed my brow, trying to figure out what was going on.

I wasn't able to think too much on it as Webster came up to me. "There you are!"

Glancing over at him, I asked, "What's going on?"

Webster looked over at the men entering the building. "I think they're being interrogated."

"What for?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. What are you doing today?"

I replied, "I have a few letters to write now that I have access to paper and a pen."

He nodded that he understood. He asked, "Do you want some help or company?"

I shook my head. "I think it would be pretty boring for you, actually. Thank you though."

"No problem. Hey! If you get bored or need a break, why don't you join me later at the lake?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'll think about it."

He finally left me alone as I entered the med station. I headed over to the desk and pulled out some paper from the stack that sat on the corner. Grabbing a pen, I started to write the letters I needed to write.

I started with the letter to Anne. I told her about Grant and what had happened. I explained that he was fine and he was asking me to make sure that she knew that he was okay.

The second letter that I wrote was to Darla. I told her about my letter to Anne. I told her about Grant and everything that was going on. I even told her about having Robert roaming around the area, but never making a move. I explained how that made me paranoid and uncomfortable.

When I finished with the letters, I headed over to Sink's orderly and passed the letters off to him. He told me that he could get those letters delivered soon. I thanked him and headed back to my housing.

Life was starting to become so mundane that I tried to find something to do. I cleaned the house I was staying at several times. I even did yard work outside, just to find something to do. I wondered if the person who owned the house would return and be gracious that I kept it up for them.

That evening, the rain began to pour down hard. The lightning was the only amount of light we would get as the storm had knocked the power out. The thunder would rattle the glass in the panes. It was a nasty storm to say the least, and everyone tried to make the most of the evening by lighting candles and playing cards.

I stayed inside my housing, using one small candle while I tried to read one of the many books that had been left behind that was in English.

After a loud crack erupted in the sky, I heard a shatter come from the back of the house. I put the book down and quickly grabbed the poker again.

I carefully stepped about the room, ready to attack whomever had entered the house.

I stopped by the door frame that led into the hallway and waited. I listened for any sounds. The storm was still raging on outside, but I could make out the thuds of combat boots on the creaky wood floor. They were coming closer to me.

The sounds stopped on the other side of the wall, right where I was standing. I held my breath, gripping the handle of the poker tightly, ready to strike.

The sounds hadn't returned. The sounds of someone walking away wasn't heard either. I started to panic. I didn't want to make the first move around the corner, in case I was attacked.

I took a step backwards slowly, trying not to make any noise. When I saw the tip of a boot come around the corner, I glanced up to see if there was someone poking around the corner to look into the room.

The moment I saw the face of the man, I swung my poker.

He was prepared for my attack and grabbed it mid swing. Pulling the poker from my grasp, he tossed it behind him as he lunged for me.

I tried to back away from him, but I hit the wall behind me.

Robert grabbed my jacket by the front with one hand, and a fistful of my hair with his other, pulling me from the corner of the room. He threw me across the room.

I rolled to a stop and tried to get up, but he was already rolling me onto my back. Climbing on top of me, he pinned me to the ground. I could feel my wrists bruising under his aggressive hold.

"What do you want from me?" I shouted at him, trying to break free of his hold.

"You know, I underestimated your ability to survive, Emmeline," he stated calmly.

I thrashed under him, still trying to get out from his hold.

"Stop moving!" he shouted at me. When I continued to fight him, he backhanded me hard.

I could see the darkness engulfing my vision, but I blinked it away, trying to stay alert.

"You've been very difficult to track down," Robert stated.

"Why did you bother looking for me? Why couldn't you just leave me be?" I asked.

He replied, "Because you were the one who got away."

"So?" I asked.

"I couldn't take the chance of you telling the right people about what happened back home," he replied. "You shouldn't have left."

"You were killing us! You killed your own mother!" I spat.

He backhanded me again. This time, I could taste blood in my mouth and felt something wet running down the corner of my left eye.

Robert replied, "She took you in, which was a mistake, one that none of us could have seen coming. You were better off with the rest of the girls."

"So you could abuse me like you did them? Starve me? I don't think so," I retorted.

He lifted me slightly off the ground, landing another blow to my face, before slamming me into the floor. All the air escaped from behind my lips. I could feel my head getting dizzy. I wasn't going to be able to stay awake much longer.

Robert said, "We couldn't risk you leaving, Emmeline. If you had been able to tell someone important about the goings on back home, we would have lost everything. Don't you see how troublesome you are?"

"So, you're going to kill me then?" I asked, licking some of the blood from my lips.

"Yes, but first I think having some fun with you is in order. You know, to make up for the trouble you've caused," he stated. "For old times sake."

"You won't get away with this...any of it," I remarked.

He laughed. "I already have, Emmeline. You're too stupid to see that, I understand."

He shifted my wrists into one hand, pinning them painfully to the floor above my head. His free hand started to go towards my jacket, tugging at the buttons. I asked, "Was all of this really worth it?"

He looked at me with his beady eyes, waiting for me to continue as he continued his work. The jacket had been completely undone and he shifted towards my pants.

I stated, "Most of your brothers are dead because you sent them out looking for me. Was it really worth killing your brothers to find me?"

He gritted his teeth, stopping what he was doing. "Shut up!"

"Poor Oswald was the first, wasn't he? Did he tell you he wanted no part in this? Is that why you placed him some where he could be easily killed, so you wouldn't have to hear him argue?" I asked.

Robert hit me again, hard. I about lost consciousness. My hearing had fazed out for a moment before I could fight for control again.

"You don't get to talk about my brothers. My hands are clean. Their blood is on your hands because you didn't stay put like you were told to!" he shouted at me.

Robert lifted me up, close to his face. "You're nothing but a bitch. I should have killed you first."

I spat blood into his face. He dropped me to the floor and hit me again.

"I'm getting real tired of you, Emmeline," Robert stated. He pulled out a knife, holding it to my collarbone, running the cold blade across it teasingly. He asked, "Do you have anything else you'd like to say before I gut you?"

I turned my head, looking up at him. "Yeah...Burn in Hell."

He chuckled, shaking his head. He raised his knife, poised to kill, but the initial blow never came. Instead, a loud crack was heard.

Hot blood splattered my face just as Robert fell over onto the floor beside me.

I closed my eyes, feeling relieved that it was over. I replayed the shot in my mind several times, just to be sure that he was really dead.

"Get that piece of shit out of here," a familiar husky voice ordered.

Two MPs walked over and grabbed the dead officer, carrying him out of the house.

Speirs knelt down next to me, concern apparent on his face. "Emmeline?"

I looked up at him, still laying on my back. "You came for me."

"Of course I did. I said that I would always be there for you. Why doubt me now?" he asked.

I smirked. "I was beginning to worry that you were going to be late this time."

"I got here as quickly as I could," he whispered, reassuringly. His eyes were examining me.

"How'd you know?" I asked, as he started to wipe the blood from my face and lips.

He explained, "I found his brother. The one that was with the German forces and he told me everything in exchange for a lesser punishment. Instead of being shot on sight for being a traitor to his country, he's being turned over to the military for trial on war crimes. His fate is in their hands."

"He ratted out Robert?" I asked.

Speirs nodded. "We were even able to get the brother with Anne. He's been arrested and was tried for treason."

I sighed, happy that it was almost over. Not having Robert after me was a huge relief. I felt relaxed, even though I hurt badly from the beating he gave me.

"One more thing I wanted to tell you," Speirs stated.

I waited for him to continue.

He added, "The brother who served the Germans also informed us of what happened with Sarah."

I held his stare when he mentioned Sarah. "What?"

"They thought she was you. They tried to capture her, take her to Robert, but she fought back and ran. They killed her and presented her to the brother, but when they discovered that she wasn't you, they left her there," he explained.

It pained my heart to know that I had was partly responsible for Sarah's death. Suddenly, I had a thought. "What about Charlotte? Were they after her too?"

Speirs shook his head. "She was an unfortunate result of war. They weren't responsible for her death."

I felt my eyes feeling heavy. "What happens now?"

"You get looked at," he whispered as he picked me up in his arms.


	89. The End is Where We Begin

A few days after the incident with Robert Lerner, the men were playing a friendly game of baseball. It was fun to watch them play and have a good time, it felt like home.

Speirs leaned up against the car that I was sitting on. He reached forward to barely touch my face and said, "Your bruises are healing quite nicely."

I smirked. "Yeah, they're almost gone."

He asked, "How are you doing?"

I looked at him and smiled. "For the first time in a really long time, I feel great. I owe you my life, in more ways than I can count."

He held my stare for a moment before Winters approached us and ordered Speirs to gather the men.

"Easy Company! School circle!" he shouted.

The moment the men were gathered around, Winters said, "The Japanese have given their surrender. War's over."

The men stared at him for a moment, unsure if he was pulling their legs or telling the truth. I didn't blame them. It felt like this war had lasted forever and now we were able to go home.

The men started to run to their barracks to gather their things and head home.

I watched as Winters and Nixon watched the men before walking away. I looked at Speirs and asked, "What are you going to do now that the war is over?"

"Stay in the Army," he stated.

"You're not going to go home?" I asked.

He shook his head. "This is my life. It's what I'm good at."

I bit my lip. I nodded and hopped off the hood of the Jeep. I started to walk away from him, unsure of what to say or do. He had made his choice. He decided to stay in the Army, a place where I wouldn't be able to stay with him.

Inside my housing, I gathered my things, waiting for the order that it was my turn to go to the airstrip.

As I waited, I heard the door to my housing open and close. I glanced down the stairs to see who it was. It was Speirs.

He headed upstairs towards me. When he reached the top, he stood there, looking at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

He didn't speak a word. Instead, he closed the gap between us and crashed his lips onto mine. The world seemed to freeze. He held me tightly against him, conquering my lips with his. His kiss was desperate, demanding, in need of reciprocation.

The moment I kissed him back, he took that as permission to continue.

Still keeping his lips locked on mine, his tongue forced his way into my mouth. He pushed me into the wall, holding me there. His calloused hands grasped my neck gently as he held me still.

His lips left mine and started to explore my jaw line, my ear lobes, and down my neck. I felt my knees giving out from under me.

He grabbed me, hoisting me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and pinning me against the wall. His hands gently rubbed my legs as he attacked my lips with his again.

Our breathing was growing heavy as we continued. I was feeling myself giving into him. He carried me into the bedroom and gently putting me down onto the bed, while he was careful not to crush me with his full weight.

Once we were both on the bed, he continued his task. As he continued exploring my lips and mouth, I began to unbutton his jacket and once it was unbuttoned, I started to unsuccessfully push it off his wide shoulders. He pulled away from me for a moment, quickly removing his jacket and discarding it to the floor. He did the same for his shirt and tie.

He crashed his lips back onto mine, reaching down to unbutton my shirt. When he was successful in pushing the fabric away from me, he left a trail of kisses down my neck, across my shoulders, heading towards my breasts.

Before he captured them in his mouth, he asked, "Are you sure about this?"

My lips and tongue tingled from the pressure of his kisses and my skin was hypersensitive to his touch. I had my moment to back out of this, but I couldn't. I loved him too much to watch him leave. I secretly hoped that he would stay with me forever, but I knew that he wouldn't, and it didn't matter what I did or didn't do in this moment that would change his mind.

But I loved him. I knew that he loved me. I always knew that he did, as he made it obvious with his actions and this was a moment that I had dreamed about from the day that I met him.

I nodded to him. "I love you."

His dark eyes softened and a small smile started to emerge from his lips. He kissed me again, and whispered, "And I love you, Miss Banks...Emmeline."

When I was standing on the airstrip, waiting for my plane, Speirs was standing next to me. He whispered, "I'm going to miss you."

I looked up at him. "Then come with me."

He shook his head. "It's too late for me to. I'll find you though."

The memory of Webster saying those words to me filled me with so many different emotions, I was unsure what to say.

He leaned in close to me and whispered, "I love you, Emmeline. I'll come back to you."

I closed my eyes, wishing we didn't have to leave each other. The truth of the matter was, I would be heading to England and he would head to wherever he was ordered to go and help with the efforts there.

When it was time for me to board the plane, I gave him one last kiss. Tears began to stream down my face as I was forced to board the plane. He watched as I climbed into the plane and he stayed there even when the plane took off the runway.

The flight back to England seemed to last forever. The only thing to keep my occupied was my thoughts about Speirs and our last moments together. It made leaving that much more difficult.

When I finally landed in England, I stood there, taking in the base that I had seen all those years ago. It seemed a different place than it was before.

I scanned the area and my eyes fell upon a familiar figure. I smiled as I took a step forward. When her azure eyes landed on me, she blinked away some tears before running up to me.

I dropped my bag just in time to catch her before we went tumbling to the ground. Darla and I stood there, holding each other, crying in each other's embrace. People walked around us, giving us the occasional odd glance, but never saying anything.

Finally, we pulled away from one another. She wiped the tears from her face, and let loose a happy chuckle. "You're really here, aren't you?"

I smiled at her, wiping my own tears away. "I really am."

"Oh thank God! You've returned to me!" she shouted, embracing me again.

Another familiar had appeared behind Darla. I spotted Anne as she was pushing her way through the horde of men trying to leave. I whispered into Darla's ear, "Look who's here."

Darla let go of me and whirled around to see Anne. "Anne!"

Anne looked over at us and ran over to us. We embraced her tightly. The three of us had found each other again. We stood there for a long time, holding each other, not wanting to let go again. It was as if we were afraid to let go, for fear of losing each other again. It felt odd not having Charlotte and Sarah with us, and I knew we all were wishing we had all made it out alive.

Even though the war was over, it wasn't over for us. More and more wounded had been flying in, and it was our job to take care of them until they were safe enough to fly back to the States. It would be almost another year before we were allowed to head home.


	90. Where The Story Ends

"Emmeline? Are you all right?" my caller asked.

I blinked back the memories and smiled. "Of course, dear."

"What happened after the war?" he asked.

"I lived with Darla for a few years. I kept my promise to her and we had that pie. I told her everything about the Lerners, what happened at that wayward home, and even my past before that home. I told her everything. After I told her everything, we got on a bus and headed back to Montana where that dreadful house sat.

"When Speirs had told Battalion and Colonel Sink about the Lerners and their treason to the country, they had the brother who stayed behind in the States arrested as well. The wayward home was shut down and the girls who were still there were in such bad shape that they reminded me of the prisoners the Germans kept locked up. None of them were strong enough to survive, regardless of what the doctors at the hospitals did for them. By the time Darla and I arrived at that house, it was abandoned and boarded up. We stood outside the house as I took it in. It was like I had conquered a nightmare and won. I had been the only one to survive and live to tell about it. I was the unfortunate one to live the rest of my days with the images of the horrific things that happened there. I was there when the town decided the best thing to do with the house was demolish it and remove the evilness from their town. I watched with eager eyes as they leveled it. It was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It was officially over with the Lerners. I no longer had to look over my shoulder and wait for the monsters to jump out of the bushes for me."

I wiped tears from my wrinkled face. My caller handed me his handkerchief, which I thanked him for.

I continued, "Darla married Rory Lavers. They had three children, Sarah, Charlie and Emma. He was as perfect as she had said in her letters. He loved her so much and made her happy until the day he died in 1986. I lost Darla only a couple years ago. We had shared a phone call only a day before she passed away. I got the call from Charlie the next morning to tell me that she had passed in her sleep. He said that she knew it was time, because she saw the girls and her husband. She wanted to say goodbye to me one last time before she left. I think of her every day."

I used the handkerchief to wipe my eyes again. Even though it had been years since she died, it was still hard for me to bear that I was alone.

"Anne stayed with Grant for a few years, helping him recover from his wounds. He eventually persuaded her to pursue her singing career. They kept in touch for a couple of years, but they eventually lost touch with one another. Anne moved to Paris after hearing about his marriage to another woman. In Paris, Anne sang at clubs and hotels, sometimes for weddings, but she never did become the famous singer she dreamed of becoming. She married a business man, but it didn't last long. After her divorce, she stayed single, never dating or acknowledging another man. When she learned of Grant's death in 1984, word had gotten to Darla and me that she had died shortly after.

"When we returned from the war, Darla and I had gone to see Sarah and Charlotte's parents. We told them everything about their daughters and what they meant to us as well as the men they helped. They thanked us for coming personally to talk to them about what happened. We explained that they were like our sisters and it was the right thing to do. I'll never forget the looks on their faces when we talked about them. They were happy but incredibly angry that we had survived and their daughters hadn't. It was painful to sit in the same room as them."

I took a shaky breath and released it. "Let me think...where was I? Oh, yes.

"Gordon spent the majority of his first few years in a hospital after being paralyzed in Bastogne. The doctor there would stand at the foot of his bed and provoke him, trying to get him to move on his own. Gordon was transported several times to different locations. It got to the point where Gordon's father, who was a Mississippi Senator, threatened to go to Washington DC and cause a ruckus. It was at that moment the doctor realized that he didn't want a senator on his case, so he discharged Gordon with full disability. Gordon went to law school and after graduation, he worked for several successful companies. He met a girl named Betty and married. They had five children, four of them were girls! They remained deeply in love their whole marriage. He died in 1997.

"Toye went through a series of operations after he was taken off the line at Bastogne. He had his right leg amputated above the knee, and then had shrapnel removed from his chest. The doctors had to go through his back to reach them. He married in the hospital in 1945. They had 3 sons and 1 daughter. He was given an artificial leg made of wood and he was always nervous about tripping. He died of cancer in 1995.

"Guarnere also lost a leg in Bastogne while he went out to save Toye during a barrage. He married a woman named Fran and had five children. His oldest son was in the Airborne during Vietnam. In 1967, he threw away his artificial leg the moment he got full disability. Bill was very active in keeping the survivors of Easy Company together, always organizing reunions so that we could keep in touch with one another, just like any other family would. Bill died of a ruptured aneurysm in March of 2014...this year...

"Talbert was one of the men who just seemed to drop off the face of the Earth. Gordon had recruited a local congressmen and Luz's son to find him. Talbert had been struggling with the scars he had from the war. He became a drifter and a drinker. He suffered from numerous heart attacks. When they finally located him, he looked like a mountain man, long beard and hair, wearing tattered hunting clothes. Gordon and a couple of the men were able to persuade him to join them at the reunion in 1981. Winters had written to Talbert before the reunion and ordered him to shave the beard and get a haircut before showing up, which he followed the orders, but still wore his tattered clothes. Some of the men bought him new clothes, but before the year was out, Talbert had died. Winters always spoke highly of Talbert, saying he was always the first choice to have next to him on any mission.

"Sobel didn't have any physical wounds, but he had deep mental ones and he also disappeared from sight. He married, had two sons, then divorced. Major Hester had arranged a luncheon with Sobel in the early 1960s, but Sobel showed so much resentment towards Easy Company and life in general, Hester expressed concern. About twenty years later, Guarnere tried to track Sobel down. Bill was able to talk to Sobel's sister, who told him that Sobel was in a bad mental condition, directing all of his rage towards Easy Company. Bill tried to get him involved in the organization and reunions, but never heard anything. Shortly after, Sobel shot himself, but botched the attempt. Eventually, he died in 1988, and it was a very sad affair. His ex-wife, his two sons nor any member from Easy Company attended the funeral.

"Sisk had a hard time shaking the actions from the war out of his mind. He recalled the hard-core Nazi that he shot down in the Alps. His niece had got to him one night when she told him that she loved him, Jesus loved him and if he repented, he'd be forgiven for everything he did. Sisk spoke highly of the little four year old girl who practically saved him. Sisk became ordained in his church and lived a happy life until he died in 1999.

"Winters stayed in the military for a few years but eventually got out. He married a woman named Ethel and they bought a small farm where he built his farmhouse and they raised their two kids. He even wrote several books. He suffered from Parkinson's Disease for several years and died in 2011. His funeral was quiet and private, which he personally requested. On the 68th anniversary of D-Day, near the village of Saint-Marie du Mont, a bronze statue of his likeness was unveiled. The statue is dedicated to all the junior officers who served and died during the Normandy landings.

"Compton had turned down an offer to play minor league baseball and chose instead a career in law. He married and adopted two children. He eventually got promoted to Chief Deputy District Attorney where he would later go on to successfully prosecute Sirhan Sirhan for the murder of Robert Kennedy. He retired from the bench in 1990. He died of a heart attack in 2012.

"Foley returned to college and got his degree. He married and had five children. He died of complications from Type 1 Diabetes in 2009. His wife died in 2011.

"Welsh married Kitty when he returned home. She made her dress from the reserve parachute he carried around. They had one son together. Welsh became a school teacher, a tax collector and finally the director of pupils in the Wilkes-Barre area. He died of heart failure in 1995, on the day of Winters's 77th birthday. Kitty died three years later in 1998.

"Lipton completed his degree in engineering upon his return. By 1952, he was Chief Operator. He married and had three sons. Lipton died from pulmonary fibrosis in 2001.

"Malarkey returned to Astoria, Oregon and married in 1948. They had four children together. His wife died of cancer in 2006. He held talks at high schools, colleges and other groups about his experiences in the war and in Easy Company. He's traveled to Iraq to meet the soldiers stationed over there. As of 2012, he retired from public speaking.

"Shifty had recovered from his accident after a series of operations and hospital stays. He married and worked as a machinist for more than twenty years. Speaking about his moments in the war brought Shifty out of his depression and it bought him a few more years of life. He died of lung cancer in 2009, which would have been 60 years of marriage to his wife.

"Randleman attended a trade school and worked in construction. He married and had two children. He was the first person that I had opened up to regarding the Lerners and what I had been through. He was the first person, I guess you could say, that I trusted. He died of a staph infection in 2003.

"Luz returned home and married. He worked as a maintenance consultant and was killed in an industrial accident in 1998. While he was working on a 7,200 pound industrial dryer, it slipped off its supports and fell on him. Doctors say he died immediately. In remembrance of him, there was a line down the street of 1,600 people, all waiting to pay their respects to him. He was buried with his medals on his chest, of which his family had no prior knowledge.

"Perconte went to work as a postman. He married and had a child. His nephew played Major League Baseball during the 1980s. He also contributed to some books about his experiences. He died in 2013.

"Roe married quietly in England in 1945 and no one knew about it for years. They had three children. After 27 years of marriage, they divorced and he remarried five years later. He became a construction contractor. He died in 1998 of lung cancer.

"McClung worked in a trucking garage, then as a mail carrier. He eventually switch careers and worked as a police officer and retired as a game warden in 1988. He died in 2013.

"A week after McClung's death, we heard about Heffron's death. Heffron worked at a whisky distillery. He attended Guarnere's wedding and remained close friends with him. He married and had one child.

"Blithe was on active duty in 1967 the day he died. He was diagnosed with a perforated ulcer, which was operated on, but then developed peritonitis and suffered renal failure.

"Cobb was discharged from service after the confrontation with Foley in Haguenau. Cobb died in 1990."

My caller wiped tears from his eyes and asked, "What about Webster and Speirs? Did you ever seen them again?"

I sighed. "I ran into Webster in 1961. That was the first time I had seen him since the war ended. He had married and had three children. He had written a couple of books, one about sharks. He tried to get his memoirs of the war published, but no one in the publishing companies had any interest. It hit him hard, I think. When I ran into him on the streets that one afternoon, he asked me how things were, if I was happy. When I explained that things were great, and I was happy, he asked me if I wanted to join him on his boat as he was about to head out to do more research on sharks. I declined the offer as I had things to do, and looking back on it, I think he was asking me for help. He needed a friend, someone to talk to, and I ignored that cry for help. There was something not right in his eyes, but I thought at the time it was just him remembering how things used to be back behind the lines. He was lost at sea off the coast of Santa Monica. His body was never recovered. That was the last day anyone saw him alive. I was most likely the last person who spoke with him. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that day, and wonder if he would have been alive if I had gone with him. "

I wiped the tears from my face and said, "As for Speirs... He retired from the military as a Lieutenant Colonel in 1964. He attended one reunion in 2001. I ran into him in 1966. He had married and had some children by then, but the day we ran into each other, you could still feel the tension between us. The look in his eyes as he looked at me, told me that he still loved me, and I still loved him. Unfortunately, he had moved on as I had. It was a tragic love story for us, but he was always going to be my mystery, my silent protector, my rescuer. He was the only one, aside from Randleman who knew about the Lerners. I never even told Webster about them. Speirs had moved to Montana, thinking that I would be there somehow. Two days before he died in 2007, I had gotten a phone call from him. He never said who he was, but I knew. He told me that he regretted letting me go, not trying harder to keep me next to him and marrying me. He told me that he loved me and always would, that I was his one true love. His last words to me were 'I love you, my Emmeline, my mystery and I shall never forget you'. I cried for weeks upon learning of his death. There are days that I wish things had turned out differently for us, that we could have had our happily ever after, but this is real life and not a love story."

I blinked the tears back, trying to keep it together. I sighed and added, "I ended up keeping my promise to myself. I wrote letters back home to the men listed in my notebook. I had over 600 letters to write. All of them different, all of them painful. There was one letter in particular that I felt had to be delivered personally."

"Thomas Palmer," my caller said.

I nodded. "Thomas. I had written the letter but Darla helped me track down the family. We arrived here, in Denver, Colorado, and learned that his older brother, Jack, was giving a lecture in a conference room, much like this one. Darla waited for me in the car while I headed inside to wait for him. When he finished his lecture, he found me waiting. I explained to him who I was, and gave him the letter. Before he opened it, he asked me if I was there when it happened. I couldn't contain my tears and broke down before him. I told him how much Thomas meant to me, even though we only met for a few minutes. I explained how much of an impact his brother left on me, how I thought of him every day and wanted to make sure his family knew the truth from someone who was there. We ended up talking about Thomas, his childhood, life before the war, and his death for hours. When I went to leave, Jack asked me if he could see me again the next day. I had agreed.

"Jack was already a doctor. He had convinced Thomas to become a doctor as well, but when the war started to rage on in Europe, Thomas enlisted in hopes of becoming a medic. He was placed in the infantry instead. Jack would have enlisted, but he was a doctor and he was taking care of their ailing mother. He was denied the opportunity to enlist.

"We spoke every day. Even when I went back home with Darla, he called me every day. After a few months of getting to know one another, we married in 1950. We had a four children together, and we were incredibly happy, but I still had a place in my heart for Speirs and a place for Thomas. Jack died in 2000. I have lost three of my children already. Some to car accidents and one to a terrible shooting at a high school. The surviving son of mine is laying in a hospital, dying from cancer. It is only a matter of time before I am truly alone again."

"There are never enough words to express how short life is, how dear the people you have in your life is, and that you need to do everything humanly possible to make sure that you tell those around you how much you love them. Living life in fear of the unknown is the quickest way to die. I am old. I have seen death a thousand times, in different forms. I've lost friends, loved ones, and family. War is never over. The only ones who have seen the end of war are the ones who have died.

"I like to think that when I die, I will be reunited with my family and my company. I want to see all of them again, I want to see Darla, Anne, Sarah, and Charlotte. I want to see Speirs again. I want to see Webster, and the rest. But for now, I live each day the best way that I can, before I can't live it anymore."

My caller was brushing the tears from his face. "It's a beautiful story. I'm honored that you shared it with me."

I handed him his handkerchief and asked, "What will you do now that you have my story?"

He cleared his throat and explained, "I want the world to know the truth. I want to share your story with the world."

I nodded, thinking it would be an impossible feat for him. The world had forgotten what so many brave men and women did for this country so many years ago. I wasn't sure that they would be interested in the story now.

My driver knocked on the door as he opened it. I stood up slowly as my caller helped me from my chair. I looked at the young man's blue eyes and asked, "I'm sorry, dear. I never did catch your name...or perhaps my old age has made me forget it."

He smiled kindly at me and replied, "It's all right. My name's Tom."

I stared into his eyes for a moment, feeling my heart jump a beat at the name.

"Tom Hanks," he added.

I smiled back at him. "Good luck with your story telling. I hope it works out for you."

"Thank you again for meeting with me. Safe travels home, Emmeline," he said with a warm smile as I headed out of the room.

Leaning on my driver for support, we exited the grand hotel and climbed into the car. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining bright and warm. Once inside the car, I leaned back and released a long and heavy sigh. I felt lighter, happier that it was out there. Someone knew about the nurses who served. Someone knew about Darla, Anne, Sarah, and Charlotte. Someone finally knew about me. A wave of relief washed over me.

I closed my eyes as my driver climbed in and asked, "Any where you'd like to go, Mrs. Palmer?"

I whispered, "Home."

As the car started to pull away from the hotel, I dreamed of Speirs. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his kisses, his husky voice, and dark eyes on me. I felt safe and warm. Just like old times.

Then I heard a faint whisper in my ear, "I love you, Emmeline."

I smiled at the familiar voice and could smell the familiar scent of Speirs as I drifted off to sleep.


	91. Alternative Ending

After our final year in England helping out with the wounded soldiers who were being flown back, Darla and I were finally able to go back home to the states. After everything we had seen and everything we had been through, we were ready to leave behind the country we were forced to call home and return to what we thought of as a distant memory.

On the plane back to the States, Darla sat next to me as I gazed out the window at the clouds we soared above. She asked, "So, when we return home, when are you going to have that pie with me?"

A small smile graced my lips. I tore my sights from the clouds and turned to face her. "As soon as we land, if you'd like."

She returned the smile. "You've changed, Em."

The smile on my face faltered a little. "Why do you say that?"

"You've never chosen to talk about your past before. It's...well, let's just say that it's different," she stated.

I couldn't argue with her. I didn't feel different necessarily, but I knew that I had changed in a lot of ways from the person I was when we had started training to the person that I was now. Darla, of course, would be the one person in the world who would notice those changes.

During the flight home, Darla and I discussed what our plans would be once we landed. We had agreed that the most important tasks at hand were to look up Charlotte's and Sarah's parents to tell them what happened. We knew this would be one of the most difficult things we would ever be tasked with but I knew that Darla would know exactly what to say. She was always the best at comforting those around her.

I could feel the pang in my heart thinking about them. It was my fault that Sarah was killed. The Lerners thought she was me. I wasn't sure if I should say anything to her parents about that part or not. Darla had advised me not to, but I was feeling overwhelming guilt about it. I had a hard time imagining that it wasn't my fault. Had I not run away and joined the military, Sarah would most likely still be alive. Darla had asked me how I could be so sure. If Sarah hadn't been ambushed by the Lerner brother, would she really have survived the war itself? She was asking me the tough questions - questions that I needed to be asking myself - but I wasn't.

Charlotte's death wasn't my fault. Speirs had told me that. Even so, there was a small part of me that often wondered how truthful he was being in that regard. He had just told me that Sarah's death was in a sense my fault and maybe he didn't want me to beat myself up over losing two of my friends who could have potentially survived had they not known me. Darla had also mentioned that Speirs wasn't one to sugarcoat anything and she didn't believe that he would intentionally lie to me about this.

The thought of Speirs brought back a flood of emotions and memories for me. I hadn't seen or spoken to him since the war was declared over...since he told me that he loved me but chose to stay in the military - getting himself shipped elsewhere. Every time I closed my eyes, I tried to recall his face - his features - so that I could see him in my mind. Every hair, his tense jaw line, his brooding eyes, his five o'clock shadow...each detail had been fresh in my mind the first few months since seeing him last, but now I was beginning to forget certain features. I worried that as time continued to pass, perhaps I would forget him entirely. Every fiber in my being fought that from happening. If Darla saw my inner struggle, she never said a word.

During our time in England, I had started the task of writing to the parents of the soldiers whose dog tags I had collected. By the time our final year had finished, I had the majority of them completed. After Darla and I had made our final arrangements on our flight back to the States, I decided to finish up the letters. There was only one name on my list that I felt needed a personal visit instead of a letter - Thomas Palmer.

Darla's fiancé managed to track down Thomas's next of kin and their address. When Darla gave it to me, she promised that I'd let her come along. I agreed to it, not realizing how serious she was being. Her fiancé didn't seem to mind her traveling back to the States and spending a while traveling with me. In fact, he encouraged it. It was almost as if he knew that I needed Darla by my side.

When we landed in the States, Darla demanded we stop at the first cafe we came across to get that pie. A small part of me had chuckled at her request but another side of me fought the feeling of annoyance. I knew I had promised to tell her, and I wanted to, however I wasn't used to talking about anything with people. The moment she spotted some run-down cafe, we stopped and found a table. Darla wasn't shy about quickly ordering coffee and pie for us. The moment they arrived, she sat there with her hands interlocked, patiently waiting for me to begin my tale.

I had a hard time figuring out where to start, but once I began, I found myself telling her things I never shared with anyone - not even Randleman or Speirs. I told her about my parents and how they died. I spoke about how things at the wayward home went from a place filled with happy memories to the hell that every one of us girls faced on a daily basis. I spoke of the beatings and abuse, the days that we went hungry or cold. I recounted the moments when Robert took charge and hell seemed to become a distant memory for the nightmares that would ensue.

I told her about each scar and broken bone that I had while being there. I recalled each girl's face and how many died at their hands, how they were buried in the fields near the house and how we were all threatened should any of us step out of line or speak about what was going on there.

Darla had listened without judgment as I spoke about my past. She would ask questions here and there, but she stayed silent as I spoke. One question she did ask was about the moment when I decided to make my escape. I explained that it took me years to work up the courage, but the final straw was when a young girl of 6 was killed before our eyes just because she cried in the middle of the night for being scared of the thunderstorm. None of us could calm her with each boom of the thunder, and she paid the price.

My escape attempts had failed before and it made Robert keep close tabs on me at all times. Sometimes he had locked me in the cellar or closets for days at a time, trying to break me and my will to run away. He had threatened to break my legs using a steel pipe, but there was something in my head telling me that I needed to try anyways. I told Darla that a large part of me knew that I was dead no matter if I tried to escape or not because Robert had painted a target on me from day one.

I told Darla in vivid detail how I managed to wait patiently and quietly for the next monstrous storm to roll in before running for it. I told her about the challenges I faced while running through the wind and rain, sheltering in what I thought was an old river bed, but was washed out by a mini flood. I told her about the people I hid with and how I never stopped looking over my shoulder, expecting the Lerners - Robert mostly - to come jumping out of the shadows to get me. It was a fear that I never got over until Speirs had taken care of him. The rest of the story, Darla knew about through our letters and conversations we had since.

When I finished regaling her with my tale, she sat there in silence for a moment before clearing her throat. I was expecting her to say something condescending like, "Oh, poor you", but instead, she looked at me after putting money on the table and said, "We need to go to Montana."

"Why?" I asked.

She smiled. "Because you have some unfinished business there."

"What business is that?" I questioned.

"Closure."

Darla wasted no time in making arrangements. She phoned her fiancé to tell him where she was going next, explaining the situation as delicately as possible. He, of course, told her to go, said that it was important to be there for me. So, once she hung up the receiver on the payphone, she hailed a taxi to take us to the nearest bus station, bought our tickets, and began the journey back to Montana.

Along the way, Darla thought it best to stop and visit with Charlotte's and Sarah's parents. It would allow us to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, and more importantly, it allowed me time to adjust to the idea that I was heading back to the place that I never wanted to return to.

Our first stop would be Charlotte's. I thought of her often, especially after her death. I wondered how life would have been for her had she survived. Would she have married Luz? Would she have the same personality after seeing all of the terrible things throughout the war, and even the year in England that we had seen? I wondered if we would have kept in touch when we all came home again.

When we arrived to Charlotte's childhood home, I could see why she was who she was. Her home was neat and clean, everything in it's proper place. The flowers along the walkway were standing tall, blooming wide, and giving off a vibe that would say that everything was okay. I hoped her family would give off the same vibe.

After speaking with her parents, Darla hugged both of them, apologizing for being unable to protect Charlotte. I watched as Charlotte's parents embraced her and cried into her shoulders. It was clear to me that they needed this more than we did. They needed to know the details that surrounded their daughter's death, even if it was speculation on our part since we weren't there. They didn't yell at us, they didn't curse at us or wonder why we lived and their daughter didn't. They were at peace.

Walking outside towards the bus stop, Darla was quiet. I finally asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I always pictured her family to be like that because that's how she was. Calm, understanding, loving."

I nodded and waited for her to continue.

"Sarah's family won't be the same way, you know."

I nodded again. "I know."

Sarah was a sweet girl, as naive as she was. She always had a curious demeanor about her and it was simply because she never had the chance to do anything in life. It wasn't that she grew up in a bad environment, but it was because her parents paid her no mind to what she was doing or not doing. She was isolated.

Darla interrupted my thoughts. "It will be a tough talk with them, I'm afraid."

"You going to do all the talking again?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes. Let's not mention the Lerners or you when we do this, shall we?"

I agreed with her suggestion. The last thing I wanted to do was to add more fuel to the fire that was probably already burning hot.

We climbed onto the bus, found our seats, and rode all the way towards Sarah's family. Neither one of us spoke the whole ride there and I think it was because we had no idea what would be waiting for us, nor how we would handle it.

Once we arrived and found the place, we understood why she lied about her age just to get away. The house was completely opposite of Charlotte's. It was rundown, the weeds and grass had taken over the walkways and were growing wild up the house. The shingles on the roof were hanging on by a thread, and the steps up to the door were wobbly and dangerous.

We knocked on the door and heard barking coming from within, followed by yelling from the back of the house. The barking grew slightly quieter, but we could hear it from the backyard instead. After a few moments, we heard footsteps approaching the rickety door.

The old door stuck in the frame but once it was jerked open, we stood face to face with a man who looked like he hadn't showered in months. He eyed both of us from our feet to our heads. I stiffened under his gaze, suddenly feeling like I was being watched by Robert all over again.

"Yeah? What do you want?" he demanded.

Darla cleared her throat gently before speaking. "Are you Sarah Morgan's family?"

He glared at her. "Yeah. What's it to you?"

"We wanted to talk to you about what happened to her," she stated.

He spat, "Don't care."

"Wait, what do you mean, you don't care?" I asked, taken aback.

He turned his angered gaze onto me. "I. Don't. Care."

"Now wait just a damned minute!" I started. I could feel Darla placing a hand on my arm, trying to calm me before I started something I wouldn't be able to finish.

The man stood straighter, as if to show me just how big he really was, but I didn't care. Sarah deserved better. She might not have been the smartest or the prettiest of all of us, but she died for her country, and she deserved to be remembered.

"How can you stand there and say that you don't care about someone who was killed in a war? She was your family. How can you not care?" I asked.

"She's dead. She ran away, and she's dead. What's done is done. I ain't about to keep going on about her as if she mattered," the man shouted back at me.

I stood up straighter. "The Hell you say. You have no idea who she was. She had more guts than you'll ever have. And you know what, she's better off without you. From what I've seen, you're not her family. We are."

Darla motioned to the irate man, who was starting to leave the comforts of his home to come after me, to stay. "We're leaving. So sorry to have bothered you."

"Don't you ever come back here again, you fucking bitches!" the man shouted back at us.  
I could feel Darla's tight grip on my arm, urging me to continue walking. Once we were out of sight of the house, she pulled me to a stop. "Mind telling me what the hell just happened back there?"

I looked at her in disbelief. Motioning back towards the house, I asked, "Are you seriously telling me that you were about to put up with that?"

She sighed and waited for me to vent.

I continued, "That is not what I expected to see coming from her family - if you even want to call it that. She deserves better than that! She deserves respect, and not just from us or random people, but she deserves it from her family!"

I took one step forward and stopped, turning back around to face Darla, I added, "You know something? I'm glad she's gone. I'm glad that she doesn't have to go back into that house and live a life that is unfitting for her."

"What makes you so sure that she would have gone home?" Darla asked me calmly.

I furrowed my brow at her. "Because it's Sarah. She would have gone home."

"Not according to Gordon."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What?"

Darla nodded. "Yeah. Gordon said that had they both lived to see the end of this war, he would have proposed to her. He was going to marry her and get her far away from them as possible."

"Wait, he knew about her family?" I asked.

She nodded again. "Yes. He knew. But that didn't change the way he felt about her."

I sighed, letting my head fall to my chest. "Why did we even bother coming here?"

"Because I thought you needed to see that you weren't the only one who had a bad life before the war. Now, I'm not saying that yours wasn't worse, but she didn't have it easy either," Darla stated.

She brushed passed me on the sidewalk and whispered, "Besides, it was the right thing to do."

"Until I go and muck everything up," I added.

She laughed. "Well, it certainly was unexpected to see you try to take on someone three times your size."

"I don't know where I got that," I admitted.

She smiled. "Yes, you do."

I gave her a confused look and she added, "Pick any man from Easy Company, or you could pick Speirs. Either way, they taught you to be tough."

"I'm not tough," I muttered, thinking back on the night that Lerner beat me within an inch of my life.

Darla saw the look on my face, and read my mind as she said, "Don't think about that."

I sighed and nodded.

She added, "Don't ever think about that again."

The final leg of our little road trip was approaching. The closer we got to the little town in Montana, the more my nerves started to act up. I was picking the skin off my lips, which in turn caused a lot of open and bleeding spots. Darla had to hold my hands to keep me from doing any more damage to them. I could hear Speirs in the back of my head talking about the bad habit that I had when it came to biting my lips. If he could only see me now, I knew that he'd be scolding me with his eyes.

The bus stopped and Darla looked over at me. "Are you ready?"

"No."

"You'll be okay," she stated.

I asked, "How can you be so sure?"

She smiled. "Because I'm here with you."

We got off the bus and she waited for me to direct her towards the house.

For whatever reason, the moment I stepped off the bus, I felt like all eyes were on me. I knew that that wasn't happening, because I was just a child when I ran away, and most of the people in this town had no idea who I was, but that didn't stop me from feeling that overwhelming urge to run and hide from everyone's sight.

Darla took my hand and said, "You're going to be all right, Emmeline."

I gave her a short smile before walking down the lane with her. I could picture the house in my head, replaying memories that I had long since buried and I wanted to throw up. I didn't want to be here. I hoped that Darla was right in saying that I needed closure of this place, but I wasn't sure that I wanted it.

When we neared the pasture that the house stood upon, I could make out it's outline in the distance. Darla asked, "Is that it?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Watch your step."

She looked down, didn't see anything and glanced back up at me confused.

I added, "You might step on a grave if you're not careful."

She slowly nodded, remembering my story as she started to follow me across the overgrown pasture, treading carefully beside me.

Finally, we reached the evil house. The windows and doors were boarded and nailed shut. The basement door was chained and locked up tight. There were signs posted all along the property stating that the house was condemned and ready for demolishment. It even gave the date of destruction.

I stood there staring at the house that loomed over me. It felt like my feet were glued to that spot. The house had seen better days. I remembered it in better days. The house actually reminded me of what I felt inside, like it was a physical representation of me. Run down, paint chipping, broken windows, falling shutters, rusted doorknobs. When the wind blew across the plain, I felt cold chills running down my spine. The hair on my body stood at attention, and I thought I could hear the distant sounds of crying.

Darla stood in front of me and asked, "So, is this how you remember it?"

I shook my head. "No. Robert made sure to keep the house in good condition so not to alert anyone of something happening here. But it looks like it's been like this for a while. Why did it take so long for someone to notice?"

Darla gave me a sad smile. "I don't know."

I pointed to the window at the top of the house. "That's where I used to sleep before my mother-" I stopped mid sentence before correcting myself, "Before Miss Lerner died."

Darla saw the tiny window, which was still dressed in lace curtains. She asked, "Before Robert took over?"

I nodded before pointing to the basement door. "That's where I was after that. Me and about five others."

"How did you escape from there?" she asked.

I replied, "They forgot to lock it one night after being drunk. Saw an opportunity and took it."

Darla glanced over her shoulder to see vehicles approaching. She nudged my arm and I turned to see. I knew before they were close enough who it was. The police.

The cars stopped and they stepped out. As the approached us, they tipped their hats in our direction. "Ladies."

"Officers," Darla responded.

"Mind explaining what you're doing all the way out here?" the tall officer asked.

Before I could interject some kind of lie, Darla blasted out the truth. "She used to live here. We came for closure."

The men looked between the two of us before the tall one stated, "None of the girls who lived here survived."

I blinked in response. "None of them?"

He shook his head. "No. By the time we got the ones who were still...breathing...out, they didn't make it."

I felt sick again.

The tall cop looked at me more carefully. He said, "Actually, now that I think about it..."

I looked over at him, raising my eyebrow. I waited for him to finish his thoughts.

He pulled out a picture from his pocket and held it forward for us to see. "A long time ago, the owner's son asked us to keep a look out for a girl who was kidnapped from here."

I looked down at the picture to see a young girl looking back at me. She had a sweet smile on her face but she looked sickly. The bones in her face were plain as day to see, her clothes barely hung onto her body. Behind the sweet smile on her face, you could see the distraught life behind her eyes.

Darla saw the picture before turning back to me, almost in shock. "That's you?"

I glanced between the cops, Darla, and the photo of a girl long since forgotten. I didn't say anything but looked back at the house.  
The cop put the picture back into his pocket and asked, "You weren't kidnapped, were you?"

I smirked. "That's what they told you happened?"

He nodded. "Been carrying that picture in my pocket for years. He said that she had been taken from them by her family who had abused her and they just wanted to see that she was returned safely to them. He seemed pretty concerned."

I laughed. I kept laughing. I couldn't stop, even knowing that they were watching me, I just couldn't help myself. I fell to the ground, still laughing, but then the laughter turned to sobs. Darla dropped to her knees and embraced me. I felt my body shaking with each sob that came out of me.

The cop said, "We'll give you a few minutes before we take you back to town. The wrecking crew is coming in a couple hours."

Darla asked, "What? The posters say that it's another few months away."

The man nodded. "But the townsfolk know what happened to those girls we took away from here, and they all demanded that we take care of the house sooner. None of them want this place here as a reminder of what happened."

Darla stated, "We want to be here when it goes down."

The man looked between her and me before agreeing. He said, "We'll just wait over here."

That evening, the wrecking crews came and tore the house to the foundation. Everything inside the house was destroyed. There was nothing left of it by the time they were finished. Nothing left except the memories.

I stood there, staring into the pile of rubble, wishing it would just catch on fire, when Darla stated, "That cop is coming over."

I glanced over at him. He stopped just in front of me and said, "I am sorry that I didn't realize what was going on here for some many years. I guess a part of me had turned a blind eye to it because they seemed like nice people. I don't know what you went through here, but after seeing those other girls, I can only imagine."

After a moments thought, he pulled out the picture of me from so long ago, looked at it one more time before extending it out to me. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind if I keep this."

I took the picture from him to look at one more time. "Why would you want to keep this?" I was confused by his request simply because it wasn't like I was a healthy looking kid when it was taken. It wasn't even like we were family for him to want to keep it.

He explained, "I want to keep it as a reminder to do a better job when it comes to the innocent. I failed you all those years ago, and I knew deep down that something wasn't right, but I ignored it. I want to be reminded of that every day and I want to be reminded that you did survive...that something good did come from this travesty."

I could see the tears forming behind his blue aged eyes. I extended the picture back to him. "You can keep it. I don't know who she is."

He studied my face before realizing that I meant that I was no longer that girl. He smiled as he put it back in his pocket. "You're a brave girl to have survived through this."

I shook my head. "I was a coward. I was the one who ran. The girls who stayed, they're the brave ones."

He looked at Darla, tipped his hat, and said, "When you're ready, we'll drive you back to town."

She smiled and nodded, turning back towards me. "How do you feel?"

"Free."

The ride out of Montana, I mentioned to Darla about one more stop that I wanted to make. I explained to her that there was one more person that I needed to talk to regarding a death in the family, and it was important to me to do so because I had promised to follow thru. She understood the moment that I said that the person was in Colorado, and was the brother of Thomas Palmer.  
Darla knew how important Thomas was to me. He was the one person that I thought about frequently throughout the war, the one I was reminded of each time I wrote another name into my catalog. He was the one that I felt that I had failed.

When we arrived in Denver, we headed to the hospital where I learned that Thomas's brother worked. Upon entering into the hospital, Darla spied some payphones across the way. "I'll be over there. I just want to check in."

I nodded, understanding that it had been quite a while since she last spoke to her fiance. I headed to the desk and asked the receptionist, "I was wondering if Doctor Palmer was working this afternoon?"

She smiled and said, "He is."

I gave a curt nod and asked, "Do you know where I might find him? It's kind of important."

She replied, "You might want to try the third floor. That's where most of his patients are."

I thanked her and motioned to Darla that I was going upstairs. She just waved to me to go on without her.

Once I reached the third floor, I asked the first nurse that I came across if she had seen Dr. Palmer. She explained that he was with a patient, but if I wanted to wait in his office, I could.

She walked me across the way, opened the door, and motioned to the chair against the wall. I sat down after thanking her and started to look about the room. One object caught my attention. It was a photo on his desk of who I assumed to be Dr. Palmer and Thomas. Both wore big smiles on their faces, holding letters in their hands. As I studied the picture in the frame, I heard someone enter the room and say, "Ah, that was a great day for both of us. We had just learned that we were accepted into medical school."

I stood up and he reached for my hand. After shaking hands, he introduced himself, "I'm Dr. Palmer - Jack to my favorite patients." He smiled as he motioned back to the seat.

I sat back down and replied, "I'm Emmeline Banks."

"What can I do for you today, Miss Banks?" he asked, sitting on his desk, arms folded over his chest, smiling down at me. I could see Thomas in his face which made this even harder for me to do.

I inhaled deeply and asked, "Are you Thomas Palmer's brother?"

He smiled and I quickly realized how stupid that question was, given the fact that I was just staring at a picture of the two of them. "I'm sorry, of course you are."

"You seem nervous. Would you like some coffee?" he asked.

I let out a sigh. "That would be great, thanks."

He led me out of the office, down the hall to a small cafe. He ordered the coffees and brought them to a table by the window that overlooked downtown Denver. He asked after adding three packets of sugar to his coffee, "Why don't you start again?"

I sipped the coffee and realized that it was awful. I thought military coffee was bad, but this was worse. I understood why he added three packets of sugar to it. I set the coffee down and stated, "I knew Thomas."

"You did? So, I guess you've heard the news by now," he stated.

I licked my lips before saying, "I met him on D-Day."

Jack stopped drinking his coffee mid-swig. He lowered the cup from his mouth, gave me a once over before asking, "Mind repeating that?"

I grew nervous again, unsure how he would react. I repeated, "I met Thomas on D-Day." Before he could say anything, I continued, "He was wounded pretty badly, I was treating him...well, tried to treat him. He wouldn't let me waste materials on him because he knew how bad it was. I held him as we talked for about five minutes before he died in my arms."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out his dog tags. I set them on the table and slid them across towards Jack. "I've been carrying these ever since that day. I promised him that I would let his family know what happened to him. So...here I am."

Jack picked up the tags and held them tightly in his fist. He looked over at me and asked, "How bad was it?"

I blinked at the question. "Bad."

"I want details. I think I deserve the details of my brother's death," he stated.

"I don't know if you really want to know-"

"Damn it!" he shouted as he slammed his fist onto the table. "I'm a doctor, I think I know what I can or can't handle when it comes to descriptions of blood and guts."

My eyes widened at his sudden outburst. When he calmly gathered himself, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I just...I wasn't told anything about what happened. I just want to know what happened."

So I told him everything I could about what I knew about Thomas. He had jumped from the airplane, was shot by the enemy with a tracer round, and he had a massive hole in his shoulder. He was bleeding out and knew how bad it was. I told him about how Thomas knew he wasn't going to make it and didn't want me to waste the supplies on him, how he wanted to move closer to the wall of the dead so that I didn't have to try to carry him over there afterwards, and how we talked a little bit as I held him during his final moments. I explained that Thomas made more of an impact on my life than anyone in my life had, and I vowed to tell his family what happened because he deserved it.

By the time I was done telling Jack the story of Thomas, he had tears in his eyes. He didn't look at me, but he thanked me for telling him the truth, for traveling all this way to return the tags.

When I was about to leave, he hugged me and thanked me again, asking if I wouldn't mind stopping by again tomorrow, just to talk some more. He explained that he hadn't been able to talk about Thomas to anyone, and he needed to in order to heal. I agreed to come back.

The next day, I kept my promise and came back to the hospital where I spent a good portion of the afternoon with Jack. We talked about Thomas and when we finished talking about him, we had moved onto other topics. By the end of the day, Jack had asked me if I had a job yet. I explained to him that I was just passing through, and he said that it was a shame because he was in need of good nurses who weren't afraid of blood and guts.

I ended up taking the job.

"You did what?" Darla asked me, completely in shock.

I sat down on the edge of the hotel bed and explained, "He offered me a job, so I took it."

"You don't know anything about this guy, Em."

I sighed. "I know enough, Darla. Besides, I need a job, don't I? I mean, I'm not getting married to anyone who can take care of me, like you are. I have nothing, no where to go, nothing to do. I need a job...this is the first offer that's come my way."

Darla sat down next to me. "I know...I just...You're going to be so far away from me."

"So move here."

She laughed. "I don't think he'd go for that."

"Please, you know if you ask him to move here, he would for you," I pointed out. Her fiance has never said no to her, why would he start now?

She thought about it and admitted, "I just don't know if I see you living here and continuing on being a nurse."

"It's what I'm good at," I stated. "It's the only thing I know how to do."

Darla nodded. She knew that it was the truth, for all of us. We had been at war too long, that our options were pretty limited. She laid on the bed and said, "I'm going to miss you."

I laid next to her. "I know. I'll miss you too."

We laid there next to each other, holding one another's hands, and listening to the silence around us. There wasn't much time before her bus would come to take her home and away from me.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months.

After a while, I stopped keeping track how long I had been working for Jack at the hospital, how long it had been since I had spoken with Darla and Anne. I was in a new town, with new people, starting a new life.

Once in a while, I would see someone come into the hospital with an injury or wound and I would suddenly feel like I was back on the lines in Bastogne or even at Brecourt. Jack would have to pull me back from my memories that haunted me just so that I could return to doing my job. I feared that one day, I may lose my job because of the flashbacks.

Jack never really asked me much about my time during the war. In fact, we had stopped talking about Thomas too. Our conversations were more on the intimate side and he was starting to sound like he wanted our relationship to be more than a working one. Whenever he would get that way with me, I would talk to Darla on the phone and ask her for advice. I wasn't interested in Jack. I knew that I could eventually love him, but I always felt this pang of guilt when I was with him because of Thomas, and I wasn't sure that I would ever get passed that. Darla reassured me that I didn't need to do anything that I didn't want to do. She offered to find me a job closer to her if I wanted, but I said no, that I could deal with Jack.

She had muttered something once over the phone that I couldn't understand but she wouldn't repeat it. The tone of her voice told me that she was planning something, but what it was, I hadn't a clue. I began to wonder if she had already set her plan into motion.

One day while I was working with Jack, he pulled me aside. "Mind grabbing a coffee with me?"

I scribbled some notes onto the patient's file and said, "Sure."

We walked in silence all the way to the cafe. When we got there, he ordered the coffee and we sat at the same table the day we met. He handed me the cup and said, "It's a nice day outside today."

I sipped the awful coffee. "Hmm."

He said, "I'm glad you stayed, Emmeline."

I lowered the cup and replied, "Me too. I enjoy the work."

Jack held my hand for a moment and said, "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."

"About?" I asked, pulling my hand away, pretending I was going to add sugar to my coffee, which I never would.

"Us."

I swallowed hard, but never looked up at him. I didn't have the heart to. "What about us?"

"Is there an us?" he asked, voice hopeful for a yes.

I paused and prayed that something - anything would distract him. I prayed that he would be needed for a multiple car accident.

Just as I was about to say something, I heard a familiar voice behind me, "Miss Banks."

My heart leapt into my throat. Butterflies exploded in my stomach. I bit my lower lip, thinking that maybe I misheard the voice. I glanced over my shoulder and then slowly raised my eyes to the person who was standing over me. When my eyes met those familiar brooding ones, I released my lip and let out a surprised chuckle.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Jack asked, standing up.

I watched as Jack stood in front of Speirs. Jack was shorter by a foot. It was something I hadn't realized, but then again, I had started to forget details about Speirs.

I stood up slowly from my chair, legs wobbly under me. I held onto the back of my chair just in case I needed to sit down again. I kept my eyes on Speirs as I said, "Dr. Palmer, this is Lieutenant Speirs. We served together-"

Jack cut me off. "Lieutenant, eh?"

"Actually, I'm a Lieutenant Colonel now," Speirs replied, not backing down from his spot. I smiled as memories came rushing back to me like an avalanche.

Jack asked, "So, you served together in the war?"

Speirs nodded. "We did."

"Tell me, what was she really like back then? She won't tell me much," Jack stated. It was a lie because he never asked about it and always changed the subject whenever I would start talking about it.

"She's the greatest mystery I have ever had the privilege of knowing," Speirs stated.

"Mystery?" Jack asked, clearly confused.

Speirs looked at me and stated, "I watched her start out as a meek mouse that hid from danger, from people who would do her harm, and I watched her become a strong willed, stubborn woman who learned to fight back. I am one of the few people who were lucky enough to see through the cracks of her walls and still find beauty...and still know that there's more to her than what is on the surface. I've known her for years, watched for even more, and I still don't fully know her. That's what it means to be someone's mystery."

Jack saw the look on my face as well as the look on Speirs's face and stated, "I guess this means that there is no us."

Speirs raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for my response.

I replied, "There was never an 'us', Jack. You gave me a job, which I'm grateful for, but that's all this was."

Jack was about to lose his temper, but instead gathered himself. "We can talk about this later."

Speirs replied, "There won't be a need for a talk later. She's not coming back to work here."

"Oh, I'm not, am I?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "No. In fact, I have a job for you already."

"You do? Where?" I asked.

"Georgia. Darla found you something closer to her. I'm here to bring you home," he stated.

I swallowed. "That's it? I'm just supposed to go with you?"

"You're supposed to follow orders, Miss Banks."

I smiled. "I suppose you do outrank me by a lot now...sir."

He fought a smile but looked over sternly at Jack. "It was nice meeting you, Doc. Thanks for taking care of her while she was under your employ. Good day."

Speirs grabbed my hand and led me out of the hospital. He drove me to my apartment so that I could gather my things. He looked around the quaint place and asked, "You don't own much, do you?"

I shook my head. "Never have." He stood awkwardly by the door, waiting. I stopped and looked at him. "Why did you come?"

He asked, "What do you mean?"

I asked, "Why are you here? Why now? I mean, it's been over two years...almost three since we last saw each other...so why now?"

He replied, "Darla has left me several messages."

"Darla? Why?"

"She's concerned that you'd make a mistake with that...Jack guy."

"Oh..."

"And she told me that I'd be fool for not following you and making sure that you and I were together in the end," he added.

I held his gaze. "And you told her?"

He took a couple steps forward. "I told her that if you were happy, that I'd stay away." I nodded and he added, "But she told me that you weren't. You have never been happy in your life...until I came into it. She explained that you were the happiest you have ever been in your life just being around me...and she said the same was true for me."

I smiled as I recalled some more memories of our time together. "She called you a fool?"

He nodded. "Yes. Kept telling me how I'm an idiot for staying away these past few years."

"You mean, she actually called you an idiot and you let her?"

"She spoke the truth."

I was taken back by his response. "What?"

"I've been a fool, Emmeline," he started. It was one of the few times he had used my name...my first name. "I never should have said good-bye to you that day. I should have stayed with you in England until you were cleared to go home. I should have been the one by your side in Montana. I really am a fool for letting you go."

I swallowed. "You're here now, aren't you?"

He nodded. "I'm here now."

He crossed the room, grabbed me around the waist, and crashed his lips onto mine. Emotions that I had felt back then came washing over me like waves. I felt like I was drowning in his arms. He pulled back for a moment and asked, "Will you forgive me?"

I smiled up at him. "There's nothing to forgive...Ron."

For the first time since meeting him, he smiled a real genuine smile. I could see the love behind his eyes. They were no longer dark brooding eyes, but instead, bright and loving ones. His walls had finally crumbled to the ground around him.

He kissed me once more, deep and passionate before breaking the contact. "So, are you ready for the rest of your life, Miss Banks?"

I laughed. "As long as you never call me that again, I'm all yours."

He kissed me again. "Emmeline..."

"Ronald..."

"Ronald and I married that Autumn by a quiet little pond in Georgia. Darla had arranged the guest list so many of our friends from the war were there. In fact, it was probably the last time we had seen most of them before their deaths.

"It wasn't long after our wedding that Ron and I had a family. It wasn't always easy, but we made the best out of it. We have a few grandchildren now, and see them on occasion.

"We spend a lot of our time traveling the world together. We've revisited a few of the spots we were at during the war, and time certainly has a way of changing things. But the people there still remember all that was done for them, and are the nicest people we have ever had the luck of meeting.

"I only saw Jack Palmer once after that day. He had lost his temper and came looking for me back in Georgia. It was right after my wedding that he had heard and came searching. When he knocked on our door, Ron had greeted him with a gun and told him never to show up again, unless he wanted a new handkerchief spot. It was enough to scare him away but there have always been moments where I often feel like I'm being watched from afar. It's nothing like the feelings I had when I knew Robert was looking for me, but it was uneasy enough that I started to carry a gun with me at all times. Ron had suggested that if I ever were to travel by myself, as I am today, that I use an alias so not to attract attention to myself considering there aren't many Speirs' left in the world."

The young man listening to my story asked, "Is that why you're going by the name Mrs. Palmer?"

I laughed. "It's ironic, I know, but I felt that there were more Palmers in the world, and that Jack wouldn't think that I would use a name like that if I were to use an alias."

"That's smart," the man stated with a laugh.

"I hope that's all you needed for your research," I said.

The man nodded. "It's more than enough."

"I am just happy to know that someone out there is interested in what happened to a few good nurses back then," I admitted.

"I will be sure to put it all to good use," he replied.

I stood up and started to head out when I remembered something. "You never did tell me your name, Mr..."

"Hanks. Tom Hanks," he replied.

I smiled at the name Tom and felt that things had come full circle. "Well, good luck to you, Mr. Hanks. I wish you well."

He smiled warmly at me, shook my wrinkled hand, and said, "And to you as well, Emmeline Speirs."

I smiled and took the arm of my driver who had been waiting patiently outside the conference room. We walked out of the grand hotel and outside where the sun was shining brightly. I gazed over towards the mountains that I missed so much and climbed into the opened car.

The driver closed my door, and climbed into his seat. "Where to, ma'am?"

"Home. Let's go home," I said, closing my eyes and dreaming of Ron.


End file.
